A million munny
by Unicorn of death
Summary: Roxas needs munny, because his sister needs surgery. And guess who has munny? Axel. Greeeat. Rated for swearing, yaoi, and all the other screwed-up things I like to put in my fanfics. Have fun.
1. Chapter 1

**Warning: **This right here is a Unicorn of death Fanfiction. For those of you who haven't read my other brilliantly amazing Fanfictions, that basically means that this thing will be filled with swearing, YAOI (dun dun duuun) and the occasional tasteless joke. Consider yourself warned.

**Disclaimer: **It's called Fanfiction because I am a FAN, not the owner of the damned characters.

**I need munny**

I woke up and, before I could stop myself, I glanced over at my sister's bed.

Even when I remembered she was safe, I still felt sick to my stomach after the shock of seeing her bed empty for the fourth morning in a row. Her bed looked so un-slept-in, her sheets set straight and sunlight playing on the covers, and her alarm clock wasn't set. I had been woken up by my phone vibrating beneath my pillow, probably Pence or someone, and had to fight to stay awake. It was only five or ten minutes until my dad was supposed to wake my up for breakfast and then school, and I knew if I fell asleep then I wouldn't want to get up at fucking all.

"Roxas! Roxas, time to get up!"

"Coming, Dad!" I called back, sitting up slowly and trying to ignore the throbbing in my head, the sharp pain in my left knee and the pins and needles in my left hand. Why did I sleep so heavily last night?

Oh, yeah. I was with my little sister until one o'clock.

I shuffled out of our – _my_ room... no, okay, I'm still calling it our room – I shuffled and ended up in the kitchen. My dad was frying bacon and my mother was doing the washing up, and everything looked so domestic and peaceful and happy. Apart from the lack of a little blonde head waiting at the table for me to arrive so she could tell me "Good morning".

"Morning, Roxas." It wasn't the same when my parents did it. "I know you didn't get much sleep last night, but I thought you might like to know that we got the results from Naminé's scan this morning."

Her name still hurt. I looked up expectantly anyway, not blinking when Dad set a plate of bacon and eggs in front of me. My mother looked like she was about to tell me the world was ending tomorrow.

Maybe it was.

"She needs surgery, but it'll be so expensive and..." Her eyes were filled with tears. "I don't know if we can..."

"I'll earn some munny." Of course I'd earn munny. If Naminé needed it...

"Roxas, it's a lot of munny." Dad sat down in Naminé's seat at the table. _NO_. "I don't think you'd be able to –"

"I can. How much munny is it?"

There was a moment of silence as my parents realised I was deadly serious. Mom looked at Dad and then down at her hands, which were clasped together as if the left one was trying to protect the right.

"One million."

My stomach sank beneath the floorboards but I swallowed and met my mother's gaze.

"I can do that."

**I need Roxas**

I dragged myself out of bed after another dream about one particular blonde and slouched my way into the shower. _You need to become more of a morning person, Axel_, said the annoying voice in my head that I usually ignored. Guess what? It got ignored again.

What day was it again? Thursday? Oh, hell yeah, double Math on Thursdays. I have this tactic for Math. Since unnamed blonde boy always sat at the front by himself, he was the kid you always had to sit next to when you got in trouble. All I had to do was piss around, throw some stuff and make Demyx laugh _a lot_, until our Math teacher got so pissed that he moved me to the front as a "punishment". Once there, I always acted like a freaking angel, so that it was clear the only way to make me behave myself was to place me next to the most gorgeous boy in all of existence (with the possible exception of myself). So far it worked well, and my only problem was making sure I didn't flunk this year because I'd worked so hard to fail the past three in order to get into a class with Rox-the blonde haired kid.

I arrived downstairs with half an hour until the bus arrived. My parents were always a little weird about me getting the bus – probably because of all the commoners I was mingling with – but there was no way in hell I was being driven to school by the family chauffeur. And also, Demyx took the bus on Mondays, Thursdays and Fridays, and he usually knew something new about the blonde haired kid from one of his many, many, many siblings. His parents have adopted half of Twilight Town, no joke. I love going round his house because it's always _full of people_ – his siblings, his cousins, his parents' friends, his grandparents, and you can't tell the kid who came over to borrow a video game from one of Demyx's own siblings because everyone who sets foot in the door is treated with the same amount of care and affection from his parents. They're especially nice to me because my parents are neglectful to say the least, and when I came out to them on Boxing Day last year they just laughed and said "You think we didn't notice?" Demyx's mother then went on to ask whether I'd been flunking on purpose so I'd be held back and end up in a class with my crush – apparently _someone_ (Demyx) had actually told her about the blonde haired kid. So I guess that I spent so much time at Dem's place because his parents were everyone's parents, and I fucking needed parents.

I also needed a certain blonde haired kid, but you know, good things come to those who wait...

**Gotta love tired Thursdays**

I arrived in school with a headache from trying to do math in my head. If I made one thousand munny every day except weekends where I'd have time to make two or three thousand, then...

"Roxas!" I looked up to see Hayner grinning at me. Normally the only time I saw that grin was when he wanted to copy my homework or occasionally when he was drunk and trying to get into my pants. Today, though, I knew what he wanted. "You okay, buddy?"

"Save the prologue, Hayner. I know what you want."

He grinned even wider. "Well, if it wouldn't be too much trouble for you..."

I sighed and pulled the battered PSP out of my bag. It was Naminé's, not mine, but she was always lending it to Hayner or Demyx or, well, anyone who asked for it. She was so sweet – _is _so sweet, for fuck's sake, she's just in hospital – but it didn't feel right, carrying around her hand-me-down PSP and giving it to whoever asked for it. Still, it was pretty damn hard to ignore Hayner when he was grinning at me like that. And anyway, it wasn't like Naminé was going to be using the PSP any time soon.

"What've you got first period, Roxas?" Pence asked. When had he got here? I was so tired – I'd had maybe four hours of sleep, and then walked to school – so a purple dinosaur could show up wearing a sombrero and I would have accepted it gladly so long as it didn't try to hurt me.

"Uh... it's Thursday, right?" Hayner nodded, looking at me like I was some kind of an idiot. "Oh... I've got, uh, Biology, and then double Math."

"You look exhausted. Just be careful not to fall asleep in Biology..." Pence gave me a meaningful look as my Bio teacher walked past. There was a legend that if you so much as lost eye contact with Marluxia, he would somehow find a way to squeeze your ass. Hayner claims to have been groped by him, but then Hayner also claims to have met the devil while he was having a tooth pulled, so nobody takes him seriously.

"You know, Roxas, you could do with some perking up. We could always go to the Usual Spot and, you know..." Hayner grinned at me. I couldn't tell whether he was coming onto me or whether he was just being weird. Normally I could tell, or at least ask Olette to tell me, but I was _so tired_... "Or you could come over to my house."

I winced. Usually I loved Hayner's house – it was so full of life, busy as fuck any time of day, and messy – but I was way too tired to deal with all of his siblings. Pretty much everyone was related to him _somehow_, including Demyx from my Math class, my sort-of cousins Sora and Kairi (I think, anyway) and Vexen, the nerdy kid that Marluxia was always checking out in Biology.

"Uh, I need to go visit Naminé." I stopped outside the Bio lab. "I think I might be free on –"

"Oh, _come on_, Roxas! You've gotta look after yourself as well as your sister, okay? Come to my place, we can go up to my room and then we'll –"

"_Hayner_," said Pence sharply, grabbing his arm and beginning to pull him away. "I _told_ you, you can't take advantage of him being like this, however badly you..." And then they were out of earshot and I stopped caring, because I needed to save my energy for Biology.

"Roxas! Hey!" Kairi bounced past me, on her way to... Art? I think so. I was never one for remembering the timetables of my not-really-relatives. There was still a bit of uncertainty about whether or not I was related to Kairi and of course her brother, Sora. To be honest, I didn't care. They felt like family, and that was enough for me.

"Hi, Kairi." I smiled wanly at her and then turned back towards the Bio classroom. I should probably go in and try to explain to Marluxia why I couldn't do the homework. I really didn't need a detention from _him_. Nobody comes out of a Marluxia detention quite the same.

xxx

Yeah, yeah, it's awful. Please flame me, I'm an attention whore. I'd rather get a flame or just a disappointed emoticon than nothing at all.  
>Oh, and just as a warning, I have no plan for this particular fic. (I do, however, have a plan for "My sister talks to fire and my brother is gay". If you haven't read it yet, please do. I'm quite proud of it, even if it is shit.) Also, Roxas and Sora are (maybe) related because I don't like the Sora x Roxas pairing, and this is the easiest way to get around it.<br>PLEASE review. It makes me sad when I check my Gmail and all that's there is the Word Of The Day from Urban Dictionary.


	2. Chapter 2

**Warning: **This right here is a Unicorn of death Fanfiction. For those of you who haven't read my other brilliantly amazing Fanfictions, that basically means that this thing will be filled with swearing, YAOI (dun dun duuun) and the occasional tasteless joke. Consider yourself warned.

**Disclaimer: **It's called Fanfiction because I am a FAN, not the owner of the damned characters.

**Gotta love tired Roxas**

"AXEL! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PUT THAT THING _AWAY_!"

I smirked at the poor man who was trying to teach me about ccross-hatching and slipped my phone back into my pocket. Of course I was texting Demyx. I couldn't really be bothered with anyone else. Well, except of course the blonde haired kid. But I didn't have his number, or even his last name, so it was always Demyx I got caught texting in... Art? I think so. It's not Math or PE so I don't care. Although I should care, really, since I want to stay in the same grade as the blonde haired kid, which requires not failing everything ever.

My phone vibrated in my pocket. Should I? ...Oh, go on then.

(1) New Message – Demyx

_Hey, Ax, guess who just walked past? And SMILED AT ME? Can we hang around Main Corridor B at lunch in case he happens to be there? -Dem_

I looked up at the front. I could probably get away with sending a text or two. _Dem, that's creepy. Both the fact that he's following you all over the place grinning at you and the fact that you want to hang around his office in case he happens to show up. But I have nothing better to do, and I guess you'll need a chaperone... Fine, but you owe me. -Ax_

"Axel, for the sake of all that is good, _put your phone away_."

I grinned and pretended to put my phone back into my pocket. Of course I wasn't about to pass up an opportunity to get one over on Demyx. Stalking his crush always came in handy to me, anyway, because it meant that I could always emotionally blackmail him into stalking the blonde haired kid with me when I need him. Also, every now and then Demyx would get pissed at me on the same day as Hayner decided to drag the blonde haired kid over to his house, so I needed to me able to say "I spent three hours waiting outside his office for you, you _have _to let me come and ogle Roxas!"

Yeah, I do manipulate Demyx. But he's the one who almost got me expelled twice last year.

_Thanks soooo much, Ax. I do indeed owe you. You want me to subtly hint to Hayner that he should invite Roxas over more often? -Dem_

"Psst! Axel! Pass this to Sora!" Kairi handed me a folded up piece of paper. Wasn't she related to Roxas in some way? Cousins or something, I think. And of course ten months younger than her brother Sora, who sat on my left, inscribing someone's initials on his hand. I tossed him the paper and he unfolded it under the desk, his eyes flicking back to the front every two seconds. His eyes reminded me a lot of Roxas's.

Oh, and now I was thinking about him, and I would probably end up suffering an erection all throughout Math. Greeeeat.

"Tell Kairi she isn't funny," hissed Sora. Kairi heard him, but did nothing except giggle and take out her cell phone.

How could someone so annoying be related to the perfect, beautiful, amazing boy who I was always moved to sit next to in Math? Sometimes the world just lacked sense.

I looked down at my cell phone again. Why the _fuck_ was Olette texting me? I never talked to her. Ever. At all.

_Hey, this is Axel, right? Listen, I need you to do me a favour. If you get moved to sit next to Roxas for misbehaving in Math – and you probably will – could you try and convince him to take a nap or something? He's exhausted, and I'm worried that certain exes of his might try and take advantage of that. Y'KNOW who I mean? Thanks in advance – Olette xoxo_

Okay, firstly, why do girls always insist on putting hugs and kisses on the ends of texts? It was so pointless.

Secondly, exhausted Roxas, in danger of having advantage taken? Yes, please. Math was going to be fun.

**The Marluxia problem**

"So you're telling me that you couldn't complete your homework because you were too busy gazing at your sister's unconscious body last night?"

The way that Marluxia phrased it, it sounded really stupid, but that's what I had been doing last night. "I – I go there to talk to her. The doctors think that she might be able to hear us – her heart rate responds to us arriving, you know, that sort of thing – so I got there every night and tell her stories, make sure she feels safe, anything I can. You've gotta understand, I need to be there with her. I... I don't want her to let go."

I could feel my eyes welling up. Fuck, I did not want to cry in front of him. He'd probably give me a really creepy hug, hand me a biscuit, and still put me in detention. He was that kind of... guy? I still wasn't convinced, especially considering the way he kept looking at Vexen. I mean, it's one thing to be gay. I can think of plenty of gay guys who still retained some of their masculinity. There was that kid who always ended up next to me in Math... Axel. Yeah, Axel seemed cool. And I think Hayner's older brother Demyx was gay as well. I know he had a crush on one of the teachers because apparently he was always hanging around Main Corridor B, trying to get a glimpse of them.

My point is, did Marluxia really need to be so goddamn girly?

"Roxas, Roxas, Roxas, you can't use your poor little comatose sister as an excuse for not doing you homework!" he told me, leaning closer and speaking softer. I suddenly knew why Vexen always sat at the back of the room – because when those blue-grey eyes were this close to you, you felt like they were sucking out your soul. And your soul tastes so good that the eyes are getting off on it. I'm not exaggerating, that's how it felt.

"I'm not... I'm not using her as an excuse." I was starting to feel light-headed again. If only I could just sleep... "I can get the homework to you tomorrow –"

"But it was due in today, Roxas." Marluxia pulled out a detention slip – pink, of course – and began filling it in. "You can join Vexen and I in here tomorrow lunchtime. I'm sure you'll find it very... eye-opening."

Okay, maybe I'm just paranoid after Hayner being weird to me this morning, but was Marluxia coming onto me? It sounded like I was being invited to a slightly nerdy threesome with the Biology teacher and the cleverest kid in school.

Maybe it was just the sleep deprivation. Yeah, let's go with that. I much prefer that story.

The bell hit my ears sharply and I barely managed to refrain from jumping out of my skin. "Dismissed," called Marluxia with a lazy wave of his hand, and there was a flurry of motion to get out of the classroom. I was one of the last ones out, choking back tears for no real reason. It wasn't my fault if Naminé was sick. It wasn't my fault if I had to look after her, even if that meant staying by her side until one in the morning and reading the Chronicles of Narnia to her as if she could hear me. Honestly, I don't think she can. But she'll be super pissed if – _when –_ she wakes up and realises that everyone ignored her for her stay in hospital.

One tear fell, then two, then three. Fuck it, I was going to the bathroom. Who cared if I was a little late for Math? Axel didn't normally get moved to the empty seat next to me until about ten minutes into the lesson. There was very little point in me being there, learning things I already knew, if I wasn't going to be a good influence on him and his delinquent red hair. Seriously, hair that spiky should be a crime. He could poke an eye out with those gorgeous locks.

Why was I thinking about Axel's hair again? I put it out of my mind as I stumbled into the bathroom, snatching up some toilet paper to scrub my face with. I needed to get my act together and get to Math. I needed to become absolutely fabulous at Math, because I still had a million munny to raise for Naminé. Maybe I could weasel some out of Hayner, or Pence, or Olette.

"Roxas? Is that you?" I looked up suddenly, feeling so ashamed of myself for being caught crying in the bathroom. It was Demyx. I knew him through Hayner, and he'd been held back more than a couple times so he was now in a whole lot of my classes. I couldn't say I really minded. He was a nice kid, one of the oldest in his enormous family, and he would probably understand how much I loved Naminé. More than oxygen. More than food. More than anything ever in the universe, and now I was two breaths away from losing her and nobody seemed to care.

As it turned out, I didn't even have to explain to Demyx. He just took one look at me, said that "Hayner told me about your little sister" and put an arm around me, wiping my tears away as they fell. I got the feeling that I was being looked after the same way one of Demyx's youngest siblings would get looked after, but I didn't mind. Hell, I kind of needed it.

"Let's get you to Math, yeah? Axel will be wondering where you – where I am." Did Demyx just say... never mind. I was going insane from exhaustion, that was all.

When we got to Math, Demyx escorted me to my seat, glared daggers at a certain ex of mine who was sniggering to a certain minion of theirs, and took his place next to Axel. I could half-hear Axel whispering furiously at Demyx, almost like he actually cared about my well-being.

Crazy, right? I told you guys I was tired.

xxx

So so so so sorry for not updating sooner, bros and bro-esses!

I just wanted to thank everyone who reviewed. I love it when I get reviews, even when they're meanie-pants reviews about how horrible my fanfiction is and my nose is ugly and all that jazz.

Can you tell I'm writing this at one in the morning?

Please, pretty please review, or else I will cry bitch tears, and that's never fun.


	3. Chapter 3

**Warning: **This right here is a Unicorn of death Fanfiction. For those of you who haven't read my other brilliantly amazing Fanfictions, that basically means that this thing will be filled with swearing, YAOI (dun dun duuun) and the occasional tasteless joke. Consider yourself warned.

**Disclaimer: **It's called Fanfiction because I am a FAN, not the owner of the damned characters.

**Warning: **This right here is a Unicorn of death Fanfiction. For those of you who haven't read my other brilliantly amazing Fanfictions, that basically means that this thing will be filled with swearing, YAOI (dun dun duuun) and the occasional tasteless joke. Consider yourself warned.

**Disclaimer: **It's called Fanfiction because I am a FAN, not the owner of the damned characters.

**The Roxas problem**

"Axel, this is your last warning. If you can't keep your ink inside your pen, you'll be moving to the front, next to Roxas. Why are you so insistent upon drawing on Demyx, anyway?"

Demyx, on my left, whimpered. "He drew a dick on me, Miss, My little siblings are going to make fun of me."

I grinned at my poor, tortured Math teacher. "It was just me expressing myself, Miss." I reached over to Demyx's desk and scooped up his exercise book. "Look, I drew in his Notes section too. That stick person is me, and I'm getting a blowjob from –"

"_Enough_, Axel. Come and sit next to Roxas." FUCK YES. "Maybe he'll rub off on you." I bloody well hope he does... "Now, come one. Take your bag."

I made a big deal of getting up slowly and dragging my bag along the ground like leaving Demyx was the most heartbreaking thing I'd ever had to do. He was too busy trying to get rid of the dick on his hand to even admire my amazing acting skills. After all, if I didn't look miserable then it wouldn't look like I was being punished, right?

I threw myself in the chair next to blondie, who didn't so much as blink. "_Now _maybe you'll get on with Exercise 18," huffed Miss, turning back to her beat-up old computer.

I had him where I wanted him. Maybe today I could get more than eight words out of him.

"Roxas, d'you have a pen I could borrow? Mine's run out."

Without looking at me, he pressed a black biro into my hand. "Don't use it for evil." Five words, not too bad, I guess.

We worked in silence for a full two minutes – well, Roxas worked, and I undressed him with my eyes – until Roxas threw down his pen and groaned.

"You okay there, blondie?" I asked, inching a little closer to him. Our knees were so close to touching... "You look upset."

"I can't do question five, at _all." _He sighed. "And I need to get this finished because I can't do it tonight.

"Why can't you do it tonight?" I asked, pulling his book towards me so I could see how far he'd got. It was a brilliant excuse to lean against him, and it was nice to know that he had immaculate handwriting. "Look, you're almost there. You've got AB and AC, so you can find BC with Pythagoras, right?"

I carried on explaining until eventually Roxas's whole face lit up and he scribbled down "x = 138".

"Axel, you're _really _smart." Oh, good, I'm on the same level as Vexen, then. "How come you've been held back so many times?"

I grinned. Was this the right moment to get my flirt on? Ah, fuck it. Any moment is a good moment to get my flirt on. "It's more to do with my conduct that my intelligence. I'm a little bit on the badass side." I draped an arm around the back of his chair and grinned. Demyx usually called it my pedo grin (like he could fucking talk anyway, considering the fact that he was planning on dragging me to _someone's _office to stalk them) but it seemed like Roxas didn't mind it. He just went pink and looked away. "Of course, you seem like a perfect goody two-shoes. Bet you've never had a detention in your life, have you?"

He smirked, his cheeks still tinged a little pink, and pulled out of his pocket a bright pink slip of paper. "Got it this morning, and it's my second one this week."

I took it from him, leaning so close that my chest almost pressed against his shoulder. "Shit, it's from Marluxia! You poor thing, you realise you're doomed, right?"

He shrugged. "Vexen'll be there too, hopefully he'll keep Marluxia distracted. Anyway, I'm gonna get my dad to write me a note explaining why I haven't been able to do any homework over the past few weeks. See, my sister is –"

"Axel, are you distracting Roxas as well now?"

"No, Miss, he was just explaining question five to me, I didn't get it." Roxas smiled like an angel. You know, one of those sexy angels that you would probably go to Hell for thinking things about them... I mean... lovely weather today. No, I wasn't thinking about Roxas's perfectly shaped ass.

I was going to have to jack off in the toilets again, wasn't I?

**Opening up for the sake of it**

I turned back to Axel. I was pleasantly surprised by how normal and nice he seemed, even in spite of the acid green eyes and blood red hair, not to mention the fact that he'd been held back, what, three times?

"So what were you saying about your sister?" he asked, his knee pressing against mine. Normally Hayner did this sort of thing when he was tipsy, or exceptionally horny. But Axel never seemed one for personal space and such. He was too badass to follow society's unspoken rules, I guess.

"Well, she's... ill. And, uh..." I suddenly felt all teary again. Oh, God, if I cried in front of Axel, the biggest delinquent since Robin Hood...

"Take your time." The surprisingly attractive grin was gone from his face now, replaced by something soft and friendly and caring. That attracted me even more.

I took a deep breath. No point stopping now I'd started. "Well, she's in hospital. She's sort of in a coma... See, she'll wake up for maybe an hour every week, and then go back to sleep. They think that one of these days, she'll just... stop waking up."

"That's... that's really awful, man." Axel covered my left hand with his right on top of the desk. Aww. That was the sort of thing Olette sometimes did. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

A million munny.

The rich delinquent kid.

Aha.

"Well, this is going to sound kind of desperate, but do you have anything you need doing? Because I kind of need to find the cash for her surgery, preferably before she winds up in the Intensive Care Unit again. So if you've got odd jobs that you'd pay me to do..."

"Sure I have!" He squeezed my hand. "Don't worry, Roxas. I've got an idea." Considering his track record, I wasn't sure that him having an idea was particularly reassuring. "I get allowance for doing my chores, but I don't need any munny because my parents buy me anything I ask for anyway. But if I don't do my chores, then I get into shit. So if you don't mind washing dishes and boring shit like that..."

"Not at all!" Thank you, God, Goddess, Santa, whoever else was eavesdropping on my thoughts, for sending me this wonderful wonderful boy, with all his munny and laziness... "How much munny are we talking?"

He shrugged. "I think it's about five thousand a week."

That was way more than I had hoped for. Axel probably saw it, because he chuckled. "You look so happy. You adore that sister of yours, don't you?"

I nodded. He gave my hand a final squeeze – weird, how that gave me butterflies – and returned to his work.

When the bell went, Axel and I got out our phones, exchanged numbers, and went our separate ways. He had Second Lunch and I had First, so when I went to the cafeteria he trotted off to Spanish.

"Hey, Roxas." Oh, please no. Not them, not today, not here... "Aren't you going to say hi to us?"

"Hi, Seifer." I swallowed hard. "Hi, Fuu." I had to look at the ground as I muttered, "And hi, Rai."

"That's more like it," Seifer cooed, picking up my apple and taking a bite out of it. I had to fight a snicker when I remembered that Drapple fanart that Naminé had shown me. "Now, we heard this interesting little rumour..."

Fuu, who likes to say as little as possible, nodded. "Enlightening."

Rai didn't talk to me, or look at me, for that matter. I was so glad.

"We heard that you're in desperate need of munny, for that cute sister of yours." Seifer leaned over me. If only Hayner or Pence or even just Olette were here... "So we figured we'd help you out."

"R-really?"

Before the conversation could continue, a brunette bounced over and hugged me around the waist, totally ignoring the Twilight Town Disciplinary Committee. "Roxas! Great to see you! Have you seen Kairi anywhere?"

"No, Sora, I can't say I have." I looked at Seifer, who had apparently decided that whatever his offer of help was, it wasn't suitable for the virgin ears of my little cousin Sora. He was probably right.

"Aww. Okay. If you need me I'll be doing my eyeliner in the bathroom!" That kid is so lucky that no one at Twilight High was homophobic. In fact, some survey said that Twilight Town had the most accepting community in the area. I was pretty proud of that.

"Call one of us tonight, Roxas. We can solve your little munny problem." With that, Seifer was gone, along with his minions.

My mind was still full of the look Rai gave me as they left, a mixture of resentment and apology.

xxx

I LOVE ALL MY REVIEWERS.

I'm not going to start listing them all on here because I secretly hope that this fanfic will become really famous and get thousands of reviews and I'll barely get time to read them all, but I want to thank everyone who has reviewed so far. And if you've got time, go check out some of my other stuff? "My sister talks to fire and my brother is gay" or "Organization XIII Discovers Coffee" if you're after some humour, and "The dark little tale of Ellie McGonagall" if you want something a little darker. Please review, it helps me to pretend that I have friends.


	4. Chapter 4

**Warning: **This right here is a Unicorn of death Fanfiction. For those of you who haven't read my other brilliantly amazing Fanfictions, that basically means that this thing will be filled with swearing, YAOI (dun dun duuun) and the occasional tasteless joke. Consider yourself warned.

**Disclaimer: **It's called Fanfiction because I am a FAN, not the owner of the damned characters.

**Warning: **This right here is a Unicorn of death Fanfiction. For those of you who haven't read my other brilliantly amazing Fanfictions, that basically means that this thing will be filled with swearing, YAOI (dun dun duuun) and the occasional tasteless joke. Consider yourself warned.

**Disclaimer: **It's called Fanfiction because I am a FAN, not the owner of the damned characters.

**Opening up for the sake of Roxas**

I arrived at Dem's house after school and was instantly bombarded with crayons. One of Demyx's littlest sisters, I think her name is Gale, thoroughly disliked me and had no problems with expressing it to me.

"Ax, you wanna go up to my room and discuss _that teacher_ and the blonde haired kid?" Demyx asked, opening his arms for seven-year-old Peter to hug him. Gale simply continued throwing things at me. Where was Dem's mother when you needed her?

"Sure thing. Uh, Gale, could you stop –" I was interrupted by a Buzz Lightyear to the knee. Those fuckers are huge and plastic and they _hurt_. I grabbed Demyx's arm and began tugging him up the stairs.

"Oh, crap, they've taken the signs off the bedrooms," he said as we hit the landing. I looked at him questioningly. "Mom takes off the signs whenever she cleans the doors. Only thing is, we have so many rooms and I can't remember which is mine."

I chuckled. "I'm pretty sure it's this one." I pointed to the one three doors down from the bathroom. Dem cocked his head, considering. "We can always just peek inside and look..."

Demyx sighed. "Fine, but if it's one of the girls..."

I pushed the door open slowly, maintaining my death grip on Dem's wrist.

"Roxas, come _on_..." Clearly the people residing in that particular room hadn't noticed us just yet. I clamped a hand over Demyx's fat mouth and leaned closer to the door, listening to the scene unfold inside.

"Hayner, just drop it. I came over to play video games and eat your Mom's cooking, not..." Even while my mind crashed and spun at the thought of what Hayner and Roxas could be doing in there, I had to admit that that kid had the sexiest voice in all of forever. I shifted my grip on Demyx, making sure he could breathe but not speak. Last thing I needed was him dying in my arms.

"Oh, for God's sake. You know that it doesn't mean anything, it's just like... experimenting." FUCK. NO. PLEASE. "Loads of best friends do it. It'll take your mind off your sister."

YOU. DIE. NOW.

"Axel?" asked Roxas's voice. I realised a little late that I'd released Demyx and kicked open the door, and now stood absolutely furious over a timid Hayner and a wary but relieved Roxas. Aww, he looked so cute like that.

"What're you doing?" Demyx hissed in my ear. Then he turned to the two blondes, sitting on Hayner's bed and both holding PlayStation controllers. "Sorry, boys. Mom took the signs off all the doors; you might've noticed. I couldn't remember which room was mine."

I took a deep breath through my nose. HAYNER. PAIN. ROXAS. MINE. "So what're you two up to?" I asked, ignoring the look Demyx gave me.

"I was just about to go get something to eat, I'm starving," Roxas said hurriedly, slipping off the edge of Hayner's bed and slipping past me out of the room. HE. GORGEOUS. HAYNER. EVIL. KILL.

"Ax? Let's go to my room, okay?" I nodded, knowing that Demyx didn't want me to rip his brother to shreds. DICK. DIE.

We finally located Dem's room and he sat me down on his desk chair, taking a seat opposite me on his bed. "It's probably not what it sounded like." He sounded like he knew he was lying.

"My thoughts are disjointed and all in caps lock." I looked down at my hands. Oh, how my hands wished to be wrapped around Hayner's throat... "What the fuck is wrong with your brother?"

Demyx sighed. "Perhaps I should have told you sooner. Hayner has... a little bit of a... crush on Roxas..."

NO. MINE. ALWAYS. "But he's _my_ true love, Demyx," I whined, scratching my knee. "Make Hayner leave him alone, _please_?"

Demyx sighed again. He was giving his lungs a real workout today. "It's tough, Axel. Hayner actually does make Roxas really happy. It's just that sometimes Hayner wants to do things that Roxas doesn't wanna do. But Roxas always refuses. I would know. I can hear every sound Hayner makes from here. The walls are super thin in this house."

I was starting to think in sentences now. That was a good thing. "But say one time, he doesn't refuse..."

"Chill. You've actually started talking to him now, right? That's a huge amount of progress from just following him everywhere and taking blurry pictures of him with your cellphone to jack off to."

I nodded. "You wanna talk about your shit now?"

There's something you should know about Demyx. He's lazy. Not stupid, but overwhelmingly lazy. But he really wants to graduate high school, and he has an advantage. That kid was _pretty_, and high school teachers enjoy that. Luxord, Xemnas, Zexion and Xigbar were all letting his immense laziness slide simply because he gave them puppy dog eyes and pouted a little. There were many, many problems with this strategy, though. Not least that Xigbar and Luxord often wanted more than just to be blown a kiss at the end of the lesson.

"Well... you know I went into Luxord's office this lunchtime?" I was kind of too busy buzzing about Roxas conveniently needing munny to remember much, but I nodded along anyway. "Well, they were both there. Xig and Lux. And they said... they said that I was coasting too much and..." Demyx smiled to himself. This story clearly did not have a sad ending. "Xigbar told me that I needed to put more effort in at school, and I said "Does that mean more effort into your classes or more effort into flirting with you during them?" And then Lux was like, "I prefer the second option"... and..."

"Go on," I urged with no real enthusiasm. Somewhere in this house, Roxas was getting something to eat. I bet he looked adorable when he ate.

"Well, Luxord and Xigbar were both standing, right? And I was sitting on the sofa thing and –"

"Wait a second." I held up one interrupting finger. "If, for example, this were to be included in a fanfiction and posted online, what rating would it receive?"

Demyx tilted his head, thinking through his own little story. "Probably an M."

I sighed. "Give me a second, I need to get something I can vomit into if the need arises."

**Let's not judge Hayner**

The second I arrived in Hayner's thankfully empty kitchen, I yanked out my cellphone and hit two buttons. Thank God I had Pence on speed dial.

"Hey, Roxas!" He was all chirpy. Olette had probably dragged him to the enormous shopping mall downtown and now he was enjoying himself far more than he expected to. This happens every Thursday. "Are you at Hayner's place?"

I nodded, then my exhausted brain reminded me that Pence couldn't really see me. "Yeah, I am." I took a deep breath. "Pence... he tried to do that thing again..."

Pence 'hmm'ed on the other end of the phone. "He's going to keep trying, Roxas. He really likes –"

"Don't." I leaned against Hayner's kitchen counter. "He's just horny. He doesn't like me like that and you know it."

I heard feet approaching and swallowed. "I'll call you back later, I have to go."

I hung up on a weakly protesting Pence and let my ears prick up, trying to eavesdrop on two people who were probably Axel and Demyx. I hadn't spent enough time with them to instantly recognise their voices.

"You're going to get yourself in some serious trouble, you know that?" The footsteps halted outside the kitchen. "It doesn't seem like a big deal now, but..."

"But I'll let them get carried away and end up in over my head. I know, I know." That was almost definitely Demyx. There was a sort of lazy friendliness in the way he spoke that instantly earned your trust. "You've told me this before, remember? And I know what I'm doing. If it goes too far then I can just shove them away and scream "Rape". I wouldn't let either of them do anything that I didn't want them to do."

Either of them?

"If you say so." That did sound like Axel. I could almost imagine his sharp green eyes looking up and down Demyx's face, trying to determine whether or not he was lying. "And please... fewer details next time. I feel queasy now."

Demyx laughed. I had to fight not to think about what could possibly happened between Demyx and two other people to make Axel feel queasy. "Well, let's go get some food. You'll feel better."

I grabbed an apple blindly, trying to look like I hadn't been eavesdropping. The door swung upon and in strode Demyx and Axel. Demyx crossed the room and in one swift motion took the peanut butter from the top shelf of one of his cupboards. I couldn't even reach up there.

"Hey, Roxas," he said, nodding to me as he got out a spoon and began eating peanut butter from the jar.

"Hi, Roxas," Axel said, grinning at me again. I wished he wouldn't do that. It was almost attractive. "How're you?"

Considering he seemed rather upset at walking in on Hayner trying to molest me, he was perfectly peppy and smiley. "I'm fine, just fucked-up tired. How're you?"

"Aww, you're tired?" he asked, completely ignoring the second half of my reply. "That sucks, man. Why don't you sleep here tonight? I'm going to."

I still wanted to go and see Naminé, but visiting hours ended in forty minutes and the hospital was twenty minutes away by car... I probably wouldn't get a chance to, would I? "I... I guess..."

"Demyx! What have I told you about eating peanut butter out of the jar?" Demyx's mother came into the kitchen, her dirty blonde hair tied back from her face and her mouth set in typical maternal sternness. "You'll start putting on weight if you aren't careful, and then you'll come crying to me."

Axel snickered, attracting her attention. "Axel! Oh, my lucky stars, you're so _thin_! Sit down, sit down, I'll make some pancakes..."

If you're wondering why she hadn't noticed me yet, it was because I had ducked behind a potted plant, desperate not to get sucked into the motherly vortex that would result in me staying the night and eating far too much delicious homemade food. Unfortunately, potted plants are not the best hiding places.

"Demyx, why is there a boy behind my potted plant?" I stepped out, head hung slightly. "Roxas! It's lovely to see you, dear. You look absolutely exhausted, and a little on the skinny side. Have a seat next to Axel, there's a good boy, I'll make you both something to eat."

I sat down next to Axel and took out my cellphone. _Dad, would it be okay if I stayed over at Hayner's tonight? Send Mom my love, from Roxas_

"Demyx, be a sweetheart and get the butter out of the fridge for me? And then when you've done that the shower needs cleaning and Gale needs her medicine."

Was Gale the one that always threw things at Hayner and I? It would make sense for her to require medicine; that girl was unstable.

Demyx whimpered. "Why do _I_ have to do it? Axel and Roxas are both right there, why don't you ask _them_?"

His mother sighed. "They are our _guests_, young man, even if they are your and Hayner's best friends. Besides, Roxas looks like he could fall asleep at any minute and the sooner Axel eats something the better." She turned to us and smiled. "Pancakes with ice cream all right for you, boys?" she asked sweetly, as if the berating of Demyx hadn't just happened. We both nodded, Axel more eagerly than me, and she turned back to her cooking. Grumbling, Demyx fetched the butter, then sat down opposite Axel at the table.

"So, Roxas..." Axel did that grin again. I swallowed. "Do you come here often?"

I laughed in spite of myself. "Hayner's my best friend. Of course I freaking come here often."

Demyx gave Axel a weird look. He seemed to do that a lot. "Roxas, does it ever piss you off when Hayner's coming onto you?"

"Demyx! Watch your language!" God, I _loved_ Demyx's mom. She could make Chuck Norris eat his vegetables. "I raised you to be polite and mature, not to run around swearing like some gutter child."

"Yes, Mom," said Demyx, head bowed. Axel and I both sniggered and he glared at us.

"In answer to your question, Demyx..." I considered it. It didn't _really_ piss me off, it was just kind of weird. What really pissed me off was when Pence insinuated that Hayner actually had feelings for me. I didn't want to think, even for a moment, that I could hurt him by saying no. "It doesn't, really. It's not that he likes me or anything, he's just horny. I'd never do anything with him, though. It'd be like incest."

Demyx (and Axel, oddly) looked relieved to hear that. "So, you staying over tonight?"

I shrugged. "I dunno. I don't think I'll get round to visiting my sister tonight, but my parents might need me to do chores and stuff at home. I'll wait and see."

Demyx's mom came over and placed plates in front of me, Axel and then Demyx. That woman was so good at cooking that she put every other cook ever to shame. Ever. "Careful, they're hot!"

I fell onto my pancakes, hot or not, and started cramming them unsexily into my mouth. Demyx ate almost as fast as me, but Axel just looked at me, head cocked to the side, clearly deep in thought. I was too busy satisfying my pancake craving to think too much about Axel.

"I'm home!" Demyx's dad, who is also a great parent, stormed into the kitchen in his enormous work boots. "I got your new inhaler, Demyx. Try not to lose this one." I vaguely remembered Hayner telling me that Demyx had asthma. "Hey, Roxas, Axel, nice to see you."

My mouth was full of pancake so I just nodded, and Axel, who had finally started eating after watching me for nearly two minutes, waved. I swallowed my last mouthful (of _pancake_, before any of you get any ideas) and checked my phone again.

_Sure you can, as long as it's okay with Hayner's parents. Be good. Mom sends her love too, from Dad._

So now I had a whole night of fighting off Hayner's... ministrations, and being watched by Axel. Although Axel was probably only watching me because I look like such an idiot eating pancakes.

Yeah, let's go with that.

xxx

You know how normally in the author's note, I just go all gushy about how lovely y'all are?

Well, Imma do a little of that: YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING AND I LOVE YOU!

And now, something that'll actually interest you: I'm considering writing a crossover. Not just any ol' crossover, oh no. A crossover with characters from _everything ever_, mostly video games and Disney cartoons. It will inevitably, include Organization XIII, possibly Harry Potter, and maybe Mario and/or Luigi. Drop me a review if you give a shit, and maybe I'll try and write it.

Oh, and I LOVE YOU! (That's my subtle way of begging for reviews.)


	5. Chapter 5

**Warning: **This right here is a Unicorn of death Fanfiction. For those of you who haven't read my other brilliantly amazing Fanfictions, that basically means that this thing will be filled with swearing, YAOI (dun dun duuun) and the occasional tasteless joke. Consider yourself warned.

**Disclaimer: **It's called Fanfiction because I am a FAN, not the owner of the damned characters.

**Let's not judge Roxas**

FUCK he was sexy when he ate pancakes.

Moving swiftly on before I get too deeply involved in the memory of him eating pancakes, with a little bit of butter on his chin and... _anyway_, when Demyx's mother had finally finished stuffing all the food she could into me, Roxas, Demyx and whichever small people scurried in and out of the kitchen, Dem decided to drag me up to his room to discuss the teacher he had a crush on. See, Demyx flirts with four or five of his teachers, and out of those he seemed to be more... erm... _involved_, shall we say, with Xigbar and Luxord, but there was only one that he actually gave a fuck about. And yes, before you ask, it was one of the ones he flirted with most often.

"Demyx, for the last fucking time, you cannot have a relationship with a teacher!" I covered my face with my hands. "You'll be the death of me, you crazy bastard."

Demyx chuckled. "At least _I'm_ not turning eighteen this year and still pursuing a little blonde boy who, until today, probably didn't know that I exist."

"Are you calling me a pedo again? Because you can't exactly talk, Mr Guess-What-Happened-In-Luxord's-Office!" I stood up. "Just because Roxas is a little younger than me –"

"He's what, fifteen? After your eighteenth birthday, you can't touch him, or you'll wind up in jail!" Demyx folded his arms triumphantly. "At least the way _I'm_ doing it, Xigbar and Luxord will be the ones who get in trouble, not me!"

I snorted. "Oh, because that makes it all so much better, does it?" I was, I admit, a little flattened by the realisation that legally, Roxas and I couldn't have much of a relationship until he was at least sixteen. When would that even be? I was tempted to ask Demyx when Roxas's birthday was, but I was now officially pissed off at him so it was kind of out of the question.

"C'mon, Ax, you have to admit I'm right. Would you rather land your crush in jail or go there yourself?"

I opened my mouth, closed it, then opened it again, like some sort of almightily fucked-up goldfish. (Because let's be honest, how many goldfish do you encounter that have spiky red hair and fucking _legs_?) "I'd rather go myself. And are you honestly telling me that you'd be happy to see him arrested and shoved into jail because you couldn't be bothered to do your homework?"

Demyx squirmed, obviously not proud of himself. "Well... well, no, I guess I wouldn't, but..."

"But what?" I prompted.

"But it's not my _fault_ if I have a huge crush on him and I've finally found an excuse to flirt with him!" he whined, pouting a little. Of course, this hadn't worked on me for years now, and he knew it, but you couldn't fault him for trying.

"Demyx, you're going to get him and yourself into trouble. Why don't you have a go at the homework we got –"

"I don't have to do the Geography because I told Xemnas I'd be busy tonight." There was a mixture of smugness and embarrassment on his face that made me reluctant to ask my question, but I had to ask anyway.

"What did you tell him you were doing?"

Demyx grinned at me, scratching one of his ears, which had turned pink. "I don't really... remember..."

"_Demyx_," I growled, trying not to lose my temper, "what did you tell Xemnas that you would be doing tonight?"

He chuckled weakly. "I told him that... I told him that one of the Twilight movies was on tonight, and that since Taylor Lautner would be shirtless..."

If I had been drinking anything right then, I would have done a cartoon-style spittake. Sadly I wasn't. "_Don't_ tell me you told him that you'd be jacking off to Taylor Lautner all night?"

Demyx at least had the decency to blush. "And he said that since I had succeeded in turning him on the middle of a lesson, I wouldn't have to do the homework."

"_Fuck_! Demyx, you can't... he can't... _fuck_!" I clutched at my own hair. "That's so. Fucking. _Wrong_."

He jumped onto the defensive. "You're the one who snuck into the shower rooms last year after Roxas had PE and filmed him –"

"That's _different!_" I protested, my voice rising. "I actually _like _Roxas, you're just so fucking lazy that you'd rather cheapen yourself all the time than do a fucking Geography worksheet!"

Demyx shrugged. "Is it really that different? After all, Ax, you've been cheapening yourself for years. It must take a lot of effort to fail class on purpose..."

"Shut up." I threw myself back onto Demyx's desk chair in defeat. "You're never going to grow up, are you?"

Demyx chuckled. "Why would I? High school teachers like 'em young."

"_Ew,_" I muttered. I was about to try and inject a little more sanity into the conversation when there was a knock on Demyx's bedroom door.

"Demyx, it's Hayner, open up!" I was still pissed off at that little shit for touching _my_ Roxas. "I don't care if your boyfriend's in there, I need to talk to you!"

Did Hayner just call me Demyx's boyfriend? Ewwww. I mean, Demyx was fun, and pretty, and one of my best friends, but I felt more like he was my annoying, burdensome little brother than anything else.

"What's up, little bro?" Demyx asked, pulling open the door. Hayner stood all cocksure in the doorframe, probably completely unaware that I wanted to viciously murder him for coming onto Roxas. Even if Roxas didn't think anything of it.

"Have you got any condoms?" he asked bluntly. I swear to fucking God, I was ready to rip his nose of and cram it into his belly button by now. "Just... in case?"

Demyx looked over his shoulder at me, clearly unwilling to let me kill his brother. At this point I didn't care what he wanted. "Uh... Hayner, why would you need..."

"Yeah, _Hayner_, what the fuck do you need condoms for?" I came up behind Demyx, who stubbornly refused to let me out of the door. It was almost like he didn't want blood on his carpet or something.

"Just in case. If you hadn't noticed, Roxas is staying over tonight, and Demyx is the one who always told me to be safe –"

Demyx caught me by the arm before I could go for Hayner, pulling me backwards into his room. "Ax, just sit down. I'll deal with Hayner." He patted me on the head, risking his own left hand, and then left, shutting the door behind him. I was too angry and disorientated to try and listen in the conversation, opting instead to sit dumbstruck on Demyx's desk chair and stare into space like Bella from Twilight.

This sucked a billion dicks.

**Hayner's room is too hot**

"So what did you need from your brother?" I asked as Hayner sauntered back in, looking smug.

"Just a precautionary – what was that?" I shrugged. "You heard it too, right?"

Yeah, I did. The enormous crashing noise followed by a stream of swearwords that came from Demyx's room.

"Maybe Axel and Demyx are just... you know..." How do you suggest to your best friend that his older brother is fucking someone in the other room? "Well, do you think they could be..."

"Fucking?" Hayner snorted. "Not likely, Demyx has a crush on a teacher. Now, I believe we were in the middle of something?"

I swallowed. "Yeah, we were playing Crash Bandicoot and –"

"Not _that_, you idiot." Hayner sat down on the bed, far closer to me than was necessary. His smirk didn't so much as flicker when there was another crash from Demyx's room. What _were_ they doing in there? "What _else_ were we in the middle of?"

"Uh... I don't... I don't remember?" I said hopefully, shuffling away from Hayner a little.

Unfortunately he followed me three inches to the left, his leg pressing against mine. "Maybe I can remind you then?"

Suddenly I began to wish that I was back downstairs eating pancakes with Demyx and Axel again. I knew that this wasn't going to end well.

"Erm... Hayner, if you could just... remove your hand from under my shirt..."

"You know you love it, Roxas," he whispered, sliding his hand further up my shirt and onto my chest, pushing me backwards onto his bed. "Now, come on... do you remember what we were doing yet?"

I bit my lip, trying not to make a sound when Hayner's hand brushed one of my poor, defenceless nipples. "Hayner, I'd rather we just play Crash Bandicoot or –"

"Shh..." He leaned over me, his mouth mere moments away from my face. _Shit, shit, shit_... "Just relax, Roxas. You'll end up enjoying yourself by the time that we're done..."

"Hayner, I really don't want to..." My train of thought was rudely interrupted when Hayner ran his finger along my collarbone beneath my shirt. "Hayner, come on, bro, let's just –"

"You can't call me bro!" Hayner half-laughed and began tracing circles on my chest. "Face it, Roxas, we're more than just friends. We've got something that they don't."

"They who?" I was scared to reach up and push Hayner away. I didn't want him thinking that I was encouraging him or anything.

"Pence and Olette, just as an example... or Axel and my brother..." I still hadn't ruled out the possibility that Axel and Demyx were fucking in the other room. "You know we have more between us than they ever will."

I tried to push Hayner's hand away when it reached for my belt, but he's always been way stronger than me. "Hayner, come on, don't..."

"Shh." I was starting to panic now. Would this count as rape? I know I really didn't want to, but he was my best friend... And he'd already said that it didn't _mean_ anything... "Don't worry, Roxas. I'll be gentle."

That wasn't the problem.

Before I could begin explaining that _get the fuck off me_, or worse, just let him get on with it, there was a knock at the door. Hayner sighed, clearly pissed off by now, and pulled away from me, scrambling to his feet and opening his bedroom door.

"Demyx says I can't stay in his room because one of the Twilight movies is on and he wants to indulge in some shirtless Taylor Lautner," Axel told us, obviously not happy. "Can I stay in here with you two?"

"I'd rather you –"

"Of course you can!" I said brightly, readjusting my shirt so that I didn't look like my best friend had just tried to seduce me. "We weren't really doing anything interesting, though. Just playing Crash Bandicoot."

Hayner glared at me, then back at Axel. "What were you two doing in there, anyway? Roxas thought you and Demyx were having sex."

I winced slightly, but now was not the right moment to feel embarrassed. Axel had just saved me from being raped (if it was rape) by Hayner.

Axel pulled a face. "Me and _Demyx_? Erm, no, thank you. I'd rather eat carpet." I laughed. Axel pushed past Hayner and sat down next to me on the bed, nearly as close to me as Hayner had been. I was more grateful than anything – I was pretty sure Axel didn't think of me like that, and the more space between Hayner and I, the better.

"You know, guys, we could always watch a movie," Hayner said, sitting down on my other side. Fuck. I forgot I have more than one side. "I've got that one that came out last month –"

"There is no way in all of fucking ever that I'm watching another scary movie with you," I protested, partially because I was terrified by scary movies and partially because Hayner normally felt it necessary to turn off the lights and grope me at the most suspenseful parts. "Unless it's something you'd let Henna watch, I'm not touching it."

Henna was one of the littlest girls in Hayner's family. She was so innocent and sweet that she made everyone else look evil and old by comparison. And most of the movies in Hayner's room would give her nightmares for three years solid.

"C'mon, Roxas, we'll look after you," Axel said, leaning back slightly. He was like, cocky on legs. At least he pulled it off though, unlike certain blondes I could mention but won't (starts with an H, ends in "ayner") and didn't just annoy the fuck out of me.

"I have a boring-ass documentary thing if ickle Roxas is too scared to watch a big-boy movie," Hayner offered. I didn't miss the glare that Axel gave him. He was only being a douche. That's what Hayner _does_.

"Go on, then, let's watch that. By the way, why is it so fucking warm in here?" I asked, plucking at my shirt. It felt like high summer in that room, made worse by the fact that Hayner never opens his bedroom window or turns on the electric fan.

"Oh, I sneakily turned up the heating when no one was looking because I was hoping to see you shirtless," Axel said quietly as Hayner shoved the documentary DVD into the DVD player. I felt myself go pink. Did Axel hit on everyone like this? ...Yeah, he must do. He was far too badass to give anyone special treatment.

Still, it was pretty flattering, and as long as there were no strings attached... "Well, who knows? Maybe you will... especially if this documentary shit gets too boring." I grinned at him and took out my cellphone. Pence had texted me: _Don't say I didn't warn you about Hayner. Just be careful of his feelings and your own feelings as well, got it? Olette sends her love and says that you need to get some sleep or she will take it upon herself to drug you. (I worry about her sometimes.) -Pence_

I'd probably be asleep within ten minutes, looking at this documentary. Especially since it was so warm in here... and Axel's shoulder was such a damn comfy place for my head to be...

xxx

I love all my reviewers so much, I just wanna reach out and give you all a hug.

I'mma tell you a secret. I do not like myself. I never have and, at the moment at least, it seems like I never will. But getting nice reviews about my fanfictions, or even just favourites and alerts and shit, helps me big much when it comes to liking myself. So thank you very muchly.

Also, I had three hours of sleep last night, so if there are any typos or anything, I apologise. Normally I check at least three times before uploading but I wanted to give y'all a chapter to keep you happy while I work on the next (monstrously long) part of "My sister talks to fire and my brother is gay", which, if I hadn't mentioned already, is a fairly decent fanfic that I would like you all to read. Sleep tight and don't let the nargles bite, and see y'all real soon.


	6. Chapter 6

**Warning: **This right here is a Unicorn of death Fanfiction. For those of you who haven't read my other brilliantly amazing Fanfictions, that basically means that this thing will be filled with swearing, YAOI (dun dun duuun) and the occasional tasteless joke. Consider yourself warned.

**Disclaimer: **It's called Fanfiction because I am a FAN, not the owner of the damned characters.

**Roxas is too hot**

Hayner turned away from the TV after fucking with it for a full thirteen minutes, only to see Roxas asleep on my shoulder.

Roxas. Asleep. On MY shoulder.

My heart was pounding in my chest even as I returned the glare that Hayner gave me and put an arm around Roxas's waist to keep him from falling forward or backward.

"Funny, Axel, I would've thought that _my best friend_ would be a little young for you. Aren't you, like, twenty? And _still_ in the same grade?"

I scowled at him. "I'm seventeen, you douche, and it's not my fault if your bedroom is so fucking warm that Roxas just falls asleep on my shoulder." OH MY GOD HE'S ON MY SHOULDER OH MY GOD. "Just because you think you fucking _own_ him or something..."

"He's_ my_ best friend, and if you really _must_ know, he's had a crush on me for years now. We haven't actually done anything together because I wasn't sure I liked him back, but now..." He shrugged. "It's only a matter of time before we're an actual couple."

BULLSHIT.

"And how likely do you think that that is?" I asked acidly, looking at the boy asleep on my shoulder. OH MY GOD HE'S SO BEAUTIFUL IT'S NOT EVEN FAIR. "Notice whose shoulder he fell asleep on."

Hayner narrowed his eyes at me. If I weren't taller than him, heavier than him, stronger than him and faster than him, I would have been a little bit intimidated. As it was, I just ignored it, focusing instead on Roxas, who smelled like pancakes and generic teenage boy deodorant. His skin was so soft, I just wanted to stroke his cheek... but if he woke up when I was halfway through doing that, well, it would be a little bit awkward.

"Hardly counts for anything, since I wasn't on the bed at the time." He sat down next to Roxas, _way_ closer than I wanted anyone sitting next to my Roxas, and picked up the DVD remote. "And now we can't even watch a decent movie in case he wakes up."

I never intended to watch a movie, I just wanted to watch Roxas.

Even though Demyx would probably call me a pedo for watching him in his sleep and being slightly aroused when he nuzzled into my neck a little more.

Maybe it was actually a _good _thing that Dem was jacking off to Taylor Lautner in the other room.

"Mmm..." Roxas was SO. FUCKING. GORGEOUS. "Wha..."

"Shh," I whispered, trying to ignore Hayner's ugly face glaring at me. "Go to sleep, Roxas. It's okay."

"A-Axel? You'll keep 'em away, right?"

I looked at Hayner then, who was as visibly confused as I was. Roxas was still half-asleep. "Sure thing, Roxas," I said quietly, smoothing some hair out of his face. _Fuck_, I wanted this kid so badly...

"You won't... won't let 'em hurt... my sister..." he mumbled, shifting slightly and putting his arms around my waist. Fuckfuckfuck, he was in my personal space, he was touching me...

"Of course I won't let them hurt your sister, Roxas. You just go to sleep, okay?"

Hayner looked like someone had just told him happiness was now illegal.

"Yeah..." murmured Roxas, pressing his face into my shoulder. Oh _God_... "If you see Hayner, tell him I said hi."

"Roxas, I'm _here_," said Hayner. I noticed that he hadn't even noticed the language select menu on the TV yet.

Roxas smiled into my shoulder, his arms tightening around my waist. Shit, shit, fuck, shit, fuck... "Okay then. Hi, Hayner."

OH MY GOD I THINK I MAY DIE. HE'S. SO. CUTE.

Why did Roxas keep making my thoughts go into caps lock?

"You just get some sleep," I said smoothly, moving backwards so I was leaning against the wall, Roxas still clinging onto me. "Don't worry about anything. I'm right here."

"_So am I,_" Hayner spat through gritted teeth, stabbing a button on the DVD remote with his thumb. I ignored him.

Eventually the documentary became so tortuously boring that Hayner dozed off, still sitting up. At some point, and if anyone asks then I have no idea how this happened, Roxas ended up curled like a kitten in my lap, head on my shoulder and arms around my waist, fast asleep. No matter how boring the blathering about... whatever the documentary was about... got, I couldn't even think about falling asleep with _him_ on my lap. I had spent literally years dreaming of moments like this one, and now here it was, far more painful and beautiful and perfect than I could have imagined it.

His golden hair was gently tickling my shoulder and neck, his body warm and light and soft on my lap. I shifted so that I was half-lying, half-sitting with Roxas lying against me. Almost against my will, my hand floated up to his face and I caressed the cheek that wasn't pressed against my shoulder. "Roxas..." I murmured. "You've got no idea..."

I don't know exactly why I was, erm, a little bit obsessed with Roxas. I don't remember when it started – possibly the very first time I saw him – or whether it had always been this strong. I just knew that he was gorgeous, and the more I learned about him, the more in love with him I fell. He adored his sister and was fighting with everything he had to save her. According to Selphie, he spent hours talking to Pence after Pence's grandma got diagnosed with breast cancer, even though his own sister was in hospital at the time and it would've been totally understandable if Roxas had just ceased to function. In every way he was beautiful, and strong. What started out as me thinking he had a nice ass spiralled into what Demyx would say is an obsession, but which is in fact true love. I loved his smile even when he could barely keep his eyes open from exhaustion, I loved his laugh and his scowl and his quiet concentration in Math, everything. I was so in love with him that I wanted to rip apart anyone who touched him. And now he was _in my lap_ and it was everything I could do not to kiss him, to whisper in his ear that he was beautiful, everything that I fantasised about doing.

Erm... ignore me. I'm totally not a stalker.

I tilted my head back, looking up the ceiling. The last thing I needed was an erection while I had _him_ in my lap, so maybe it would be best to stop looking at him, and to stop thinking about that time when I snuck into the showers after he'd had PE and filmed –

_Fuck_. I was never going to get any sleep with Roxas sleeping on top of me.

I looked back down at him. Sometimes I resented him a little. I was supposed to be this cocky, arrogant, tough-as-fuck guy who didn't answer to anyone, especially not cute little blondes with big blue eyes who sat in the front in Math and actually made an effort in all of his classes. But here I was with an angel asleep on my lap, my heart hammering relentlessly in my chest. Like a pussy.

"DEMYX! DEEEEEMMMYYYYYYXX!" One of the smaller people in the house seemed to want Demyx's attention. Roxas started to mumble incoherently. "DEMYX, WHERE ARE YOOOOUU?"

"Shh, Roxas," I murmured. "Go back to sleep."

"They're gonna..." he muttered, burying his face in my shirt. _FUCK_. "They'll get Naminé and then..."

"Nobody's going to get your sister." There was a thumping noise from Demyx's room across the hall. Hayner was starting to stir now. That could be a problem. "It's okay."

"They're coming for her, and then... for Demyx..." Roxas gasped, his eyes still shut tight. "No! Take me, not her, please..." Hayner moaned and stretched, his eyes still clamped shut, while the banging across the hall just got louder and louder. "Don't... not them... not her..."

"Roxas, it's okay. I'm here." I ran my fingers through his hair slowly, my stomach starting to churn horribly again. "Shh. I'm here."

"You... you'll get hurt..." He raised his head slightly, his eyes starting to open. I quickly pulled my hand away from his hair and slid the other hand up his back, since it was sort of sneaking down to his ass without my permission and I didn't think he'd appreciate that. Not yet, at least.

"I won't get hurt," I whispered, glancing at Hayner, who was, thank fuck, settling back down again. "And more importantly, I won't let you get hurt."

"Axel..." He snuggled back into my chest. He was clearly still mostly asleep. "Axel..."

"Say my name again," I breathed, knowing that he wouldn't remember this in the morning, and if he did, he would think it was a dream.

"_Axel_," he murmured. "Nice name. Axel."

Oh... fuck.

I spent the rest of the night dozing on and off, wishing my jeans weren't so fucking tight because, well, Roxas.

**Feeling better... sort of**

I was lying on something warm, solid and really nice-smelling. It was definitely not my bed at home.

Oh, yeah, I'd agreed to stay at Hayner's place. I was probably in his bed. Yeah... that would be it...

I was pretty sure that today was a school day, so I prised my eyes open. Hayner's room was flooded with gold-pink sunlight, casting shadows of his TV, his bookshelf and his wardrobe. My eyes sought out the clock. Only half five.

I settled back down and closed my eyes, just about to fall asleep for another hour...

And something started stroking my hair.

Rather than freaking out, as was my first instinct, I stayed very still and tried to figure out what the fuck was going on. The warm, solid, really nice-smelling thing I was lying on kept rising and falling, like... breathing. And actually, thinking about it now, most mattresses don't have abs, and most mattresses do not stroke your hair, and most mattresses do not have the hand that isn't in your hair on your lower back, scarily close to your ass.

Whose fucking lap had I ended up falling asleep on?

I shifted slightly. The chest felt a whole lot more muscular than Hayner's. Who else could it have –

"Axel," I breathed before I could stop myself.

"Shh. It's okay, Roxas." His hand kept working through my hair. "Shh."

I had just _fallen asleep_ in the lap of the most badass guy in our entire grade.

And he was now treating me like a little kid that was reluctant to take his nap.

Shit.

I raised my head slightly. "Nnngh," I said, because I am nothing if not eloquent. "Um..."

"Roxas, it's half past five. Go back to sleep, yeah?" Axel whispered. His hand floated from my hair to my face, fingertips stroking my cheek instead. What the _hell_?

"Uh..." I was tired, sure, but I wasn't tired enough to fall asleep here in Axel's lap. Poor sap was probably sick to death of me by now. "I should prob'ly..."

"You should _probably_ go back to sleep. C'mon, close your eyes."

Something about Axel made me want to do whatever he told me to do, so I closed my eyes.

"Now, just dream beautiful dreams about, uh, rainbows and shit. And, um, do me a favour?"

"Mm-hm?" I asked, assuming it would be something to do with never telling anyone about this ever.

"Say my name," he breathed. I was silent because _what the fuck?_ "Please? Just say it. "Axel". Go on."

"Uh... Axel?" I was starting to wonder what the hell was going on again. "Um, why did you want me to..."

"I just did, okay? You're dreaming. Go to sleep." Axel carried on stroking my face. "Go on."

Okay, as long as I was "dreaming"... "Axel..." I mumbled, "move your hand."

"W-what?" he asked, moving his hand away from my face. Okay, I was certainly dreaming. Axel would never stammer like that in real life.

"Not tha' hand," I murmured. I was referring to the hand on my lower back, the one close to my ass. "The lef' one."

"Oh. Um." He moved his hand further up my back and I sighed. "Better?"

"No, _down_." What? I was dreaming. I'm allowed to commit shenanigans with Axel in my dreams, right?

"_Oh_." Well, at least this dream had Axel mostly in character. That was the most sinister, sexual "Oh" I ever heard. His hand slipped down to exactly where I wanted it. "How's _that_?"

"Cool." Best dream ever. I mean, I didn't have a girlfriend or a boyfriend, and I didn't have a crush on anyone. So it was perfectly okay for me to be having dreams about one of the sexiest guys in our grade. (Olette once said that Axel was the sexiest guy in our grade, I was the cutest, and Demyx was the prettiest. I wasn't sure about me being cute, but the other two were reasonably accurate.) "Um... am I really dreaming?"

I felt him gulp underneath me. "Sure you are, Roxas."

"Good, because... because if I wasn't..."

"If you weren't then what?" he asked softly, his breath hitting my ear. This was the single most realistic dream I'd ever had, wet or otherwise.

"Then things would be kind of weird, wouldn't they? Because..." I was still sleepy, and I didn't want to think, just to indulge in Axel while I was still dreaming. "Because you're a couple years older, and you don't _really_ like me like that, it's just that my subconscious wants you to for some reason, and you probably have a really sexy girlfriend who's madly in love with you."

"Ha. I wish. In actual fact, I have a crush – well, I think of it as an addiction, and Demyx calls it an obsession... anyway, there's this person..."

I nodded against his chest, struggling to keep the dream going. I just wanted to _sleep_ again... "Mmm... you smell good."

I felt his hair tickle my face. "You smell _perfect_," he purred, his lips just brushing my cheek. "Oh, God... Roxas..."

"Axel?" He made an odd noise in his throat. "Axel, is it okay if I go back to sleep? Like, real sleep, not dreaming this amazing dream with you and everything?"

"Of course, Roxas." He started stroking my cheek again. "Shh. I'll look after you. Get some more sleep. I'll wake you at seven, okay?"

"Yeah. And Axel?"

"Roxas... if you keep saying my name I'm gonna..."

I shifted in his lap a little. "Gonna what?"

He coughed. "Roxas, just go to sleep."

"Fine." I was dreaming, so I stuck my thumb in my mouth regardless of what anyone else was going to think. "Night, Axel."

"Goodnight, Roxas."

An hour and a half of sleep later I woke up still in Axel's lap.

So _that_ part hadn't been a dream. His hand was on my lower back. Okay. And my thumb wasn't in my mouth.

"Shit," I muttered, sitting up. "I really did fall asleep on you, huh?"

Axel nodded, looking pretty fucked-up tired himself. "No worries, though, pal. You're actually kinda cute when you're asleep."

I decided never to mention to anyone that when Axel was sleepy, his eyes were a sweeter shade of green, if that makes sense, and his hair was flat in places and nearly upside-down in others. I clambered off Hayner's bed and stretched, feeling myself go pink when my shirt rode up so much that you could see my stomach, but I kept stretching until my back clicked.

"Nice abs," he said with a wink. "I'd better go wake Demyx, since he normally doesn't get up until I call his cell in the morning. Lazy bastard."

I nodded, then turned to Hayner, who was half-sitting up and fast asleep. "Hayner." Nothing. I reached out and shook his knee. "Hayner, you've gotta get up, man. It's seven in the morning."

He opened his eyes slowly. "R-Roxas? Damn. You look all angelic with the sunrise behind you like that."

Axel slammed the door on his way out.

He was probably in a bad mood because he was tired. After all, it can't be easy to fall asleep when you have an annoying little kid on your lap, even if he was really nice about it. He probably felt bad for me because of Naminé and everything.

I couldn't shake the memories of that dream earlier, though. It had felt so _real_...

xxx

YOU GUYS, OH MY GOD.

You're all so amazing. I was serious last chapter about reviews boosting my self-esteem and all that sentimental shit. And you guys have helped me through a really shitty few weeks. As the people who are also reading "My sister talks to fire and my brother is gay" will already know, even though things have really sucked dick for me recently, I've been working tirelessly all night to get stuff uploaded for you gorgeous people.

There will definitely be more Demyx next chapter, because let's face it, we all fucking love Demyx. There will also be more outright flirting and more Hayner jealousy, because that's just so much fun to write.

Super mega happy fun REVIEW time!


	7. Chapter 7

**Warning: **This right here is a Unicorn of death Fanfiction. For those of you who haven't read my other brilliantly amazing Fanfictions, that basically means that this thing will be filled with swearing, YAOI (dun dun duuun) and the occasional tasteless joke. Consider yourself warned.

**Disclaimer: **It's called Fanfiction because I am a FAN, not the owner of the damned characters.

**Feeling Roxas... sort of**

"Demyx! Demyx, you fucking moron, wake _up_, I need to talk to you about –"

I stopped dead halfway into his room, taking in everything. Demyx was asleep, half hanging off the bed, with "Manny was here" written on his forehead (presumably by Manny, Dem's cousin), Taylor Lautner frozen on the TV screen and a cell phone lying on the floor... it was hilarious. I had half a mind to take a photo, but I needed him on my good side so that he would keep Hayner away from _my_ Roxas.

"Demyx," I cooed, shaking him by the shoulder. "Hey, Demyx, it's time to get up."

"No, Marluxia, I will _not _swallow!" he blurted out, bolting into a sort-of sitting position. "Oh... shit. Hi, Axel."

I decided that I _really_ didn't need to know what Demyx had been dreaming about. "Dem, guess what happened?"

"What?" asked Demyx, standing up and flicking his TV off. I didn't want to think too much about the fact that shirtless Taylor Lautner had been standing there and Demyx had probably been... _eww_.

I bit my lip, trying to contain my teenage girlish excitement. Really, I was far too manly for stuff like that. "He fell asleep in my lap!" I clapped my hands together, losing my self-control just long enough to squeak ecstatically and bounce on my heels a little. Then I coughed. "Um..."

"I think I might go back to sleep," Demyx said contemplatively. "I've got Luxord first lesson, he'll let me off for being late if I just stumble through the door and tell him I overslept..."

"_Demyx_, you can't keep doing this, you'll –"

"It means one less person to get between you and Roxas on the way to school," Dem said, getting back into bed. "Lemme sleep."

I sighed. "One day everything's gonna catch up with you..."

"And you'll help me out of the hole that I suddenly find myself in, because you're fucking amazing and you love me because I am perfect and gorgeous," he murmured, snuggling into his pillow.

I snorted. "Get over yourself, bro. Not everyone thinks about you when they jack off, y'know."

"Well, you're too busy thinkin' about Roxas..." Demyx rolled over onto his other side, away from me. "Look, just go and creep on your little blonde. I need to sleep, Manny woke me up last night."

I didn't mention that I could tell. Hopefully he wouldn't scrub "Manny was here" off his forehead before getting his lazy ass to school. Whenever that actually was.

I slipped out of Demyx's room and nearly stepped on Henna, who was standing outside Dem's room with her thumb in her mouth and a stuffed bunny tucked into her armpit. She looked up at me with wide brown eyes.

"Axel," she said softly, removing her thumb from her mouth to reveal two gaps where her front teeth were planning to move into, "is Demmy awake yet?"

"No, he isn't." I hoped Roxas didn't emerge from Hayner's room and think me a pussy because I was being nice to Henna. Or maybe he liked sensitive guys. He certainly hadn't minded me going all sappy and stroking his hair. "What d'you need, kid?"

"I wanted to help him with his make-up again," she said sadly, everything about her wilting, including her bunny's ears, at the news that Demyx was still asleep, the lazy bastard. "Mr Bunny and I normally help him at seven d'oh clock, because that's when he wakes up. He lets me pick his eyeliner and everything."

"Aw, that sucks," I said, hoping against hope that Demyx died of an intense heart attack in his sleep as punishment for letting Henna down. "Maybe he'll let you do it later on. Or after he gets home from school."

Henna nodded. "Axel, when are you and Hayner's friend gonna get married?" she asked, shifting her grip on Mr Bunny so that he tilted upwards instead of towards the ground and looked slightly less dead. "You know, Roxas."

"Um... well..." I leaned down to whisper in her ear. "I don't think he's noticed that I want to marry him yet, Henna," I confided, pulling back to see her cover her mouth with her hand.

"Then you gotta tell him! What if he falls in love with someone else instead?" she gasped. I tried not to look too heartbroken by the thought that Roxas could like someone else. Like that little – okay, no thinking swearwords in Henna's general vicinity – like that little _thing_ Hayner.

"I'll tell him as soon as I get the chance." She pouted at this. I mentally kicked myself and scrabbled for a way to make her feel better. What do little girls like? Romance? Yeah, I think they like romance. "Maybe I'll wait until just the right moment, under the moonlight or – or while watching the sunset or –"

"You should tell him while watching the sunset!" she exclaimed, clapping her hands together. Brilliant, Axel. Very well played. "You should go up to the clock tower and tell him then!"

I grimaced. I'd had a bad experience with the clock tower and this kid called Saïx... but the less said about that the better. Still, I knew it would make Henna happy, so I just nodded, ruffled her hair, and promised to tell Demyx to go find her when he woke up. Maybe I actually would find the balls to tell Roxas how I felt about him atop the clock tower. That _would_ be pretty romantic...

I drifted down to the kitchen, my mind bubbling with ideas about how to tell Roxas how I felt, and I froze in the doorway.

I had just seen something horrible. Something awful. Something unspeakable.

Demyx's sister Larxene was... she was...

Oh, _fuck_.

"What're you staring at?" she snapped. What was I... oh my _God, _what did she _think_ I was staring at? What else would I be staring at except...

"Axel? You okay there?" A warm hand landed on my arm. I looked down at the hand's owner and _oh fuck Roxas is touching me again, I love my life, someone upstairs must really fucking love me_... "What's wrong? You look like you're about to have a heart attack."

"Hey, Roxas." Roxas nodded at Larxene, not seeming to notice a problem, and then turned back to me.

"Um... ahh..." I couldn't think of any words. I had the twin evils of a raging boner from overdosing on Roxas and Larxene staring me in the face. I swallowed hard, shook my head, took a deep breath. "I... um... I'm going to take a shower." _And gouge my eyeballs out after seeing Larxene like that and then maybe masturbate while thinking about Roxas._ "I... I'll see you around..."

I suddenly realised my hand was on Roxas's ass and whipped it away, then scurried out of the room, head down.

I was never going to forget seeing Demyx's sister, that evil evil twisted unattractive bitch, in _that outfit_. I don't want to think about it too much, but suffice to say it looked like she had just been woken up after having sex with someone for munny. _Way_ too much skin was visible, and... ew. Just ew.

After a quick, cold shower in which I thought entirely about Roxas and the way his mouth had wrapped around his thumb when he was asleep and the various other things I would like his mouth to wrap around, I dried my hair, borrowed [read: stole] some of Demyx's hair gel, and dressed hastily before shooting down to the kitchen to snatch up some toast and the schoolbag I had deposited there last night. I got hugged my Demyx's mother, who wanted me to eat more food (as fucking always, bless her) and told to stay out of trouble by Dem's dad, before leaving the house and making my way to school, where I had some class with Luxord. And without Roxas.

I slipped into my seat and began to doodle in my notebook. I was shocked to realise that the random lines were forming a face... Roxas's face. I hastily scribbled it out, knowing that things would quickly become messed up if news spread across the school that I had a thing for Roxas.

There was a sharp knock on the door. Had Demyx finally got his lazy ass out of bed? I hoped so. Maybe this time he would actually take his punishment instead of worming his way out of everything the way that he usually does.

"Sorry I'm so late, I overslept..." Demyx was flushed and panting, but the thing that really caught everyone's eye was the fact that his shirt was unbuttoned so you could see his abs and chest. And when I say everyone's eye, this includes Luxord, who looked like he was going to pounce on Dem any second now. Demyx realised this, of course, and made no move to fix his shirt.

"It's... uh... it's fine..." I felt sick just watching this, especially after Demyx's incredibly graphic story last night. "Just... go sit down, Demyx, and... I'll..." Luxord swallowed. "I'll talk to you after the lesson."

Demyx sat down next to me and gave me a winning grin. I just rolled my eyes and went back to drawing flames in the margins of my pages. One of these days he was going to learn the hard way that you can't always have what you want.

"Stop pouting, Axel," he whispered, beginning to copy the sparse notes I had made in between drawing Roxas accidentally and drawing flames in various colours. "Just be glad that I haven't told Hayner that he has competition yet."

"You wouldn't fucking dare," I spat through gritted teeth, picking up a purple pen to start deepening the colour in the centre of one of my flames. "Or else I'll tell –"

"You won't. Because, you see..." Dem finished an "R" with a flourish and turned the page of his own notebook, his lazy handwriting sprawling across far too many pages, "...the difference is that I simply have a crush. You have videotapes that you made without Roxas's knowledge or consent."

I pulled a face. "I hate you sometimes, Demyx."

He grinned at me again, looking up at Luxord's back (or more likely, his ass) before replying "Nobody hates me. I am the most loved person in this place."

"I love Roxas more than all the love you receive put together." The words were out of my mouth before I could consider them, and I was mildly pissed that the blonde haired kid I'd been fapping over for years could have such a profound effect on me. "Um..."

"I know, Axel." For once Demyx wasn't grinning or pouting, and instead was wearing something like sympathy. "At least he doesn't think you're a slut."

"No one thinks you're a slut, Dem!" I whispered, patting his arm warmly. "You just have a slightly unconventional way of getting what you want is all."

"Yeah, by giving out _favours_ to everyone who asks," he said glumly, leaning his chin on his hand. I noticed that he still hadn't buttoned his shirt up properly. "It's not my fault. I learnt it from Larxene."

"I'm not gonna ask..." I murmured to myself, trying to rid my mind of that thing in fishnet stockings. "Just... um... do some actual work?"

"The last time I did actual work, Gale ate it," he responded. This was certainly plausible. "But you know... thanks, Ax. You're a great guy."

I am pretty damn great.

Now, just to get Roxas to see that...

**All alone with other people**

I sat in the back row of the class, my pen travelling freely up and down my notebook's back page and drawing nothing in particular. A bird. A cloud. A sunset...

I kept my eyes glued to Xigbar, who stood in the front explaining something overly-complicated and utterly pointless, as I drew. I wonder if I could afford to take my phone out and just check to see whether there was any news about Naminé...

"Roxas, that had better not be a cell phone!"

"Uh, no, it's not," I lied blatantly, my cheeks betraying me by turning red. Xigbar marched over and held out a hand, clearly not in a good mood.

"You can have it back when and if I feel like it," he said, snatching all connections to my parents away from me and storming into his office to deposit it with the other confiscated objects that he constantly took and forgot to give back. I'd be lucky if I got that phone back before graduation.

I spent the rest of the class simply drawing, until I realised what I'd done.

It was me, looking rather lonely atop the clock tower, eating an ice cream all on my own. The shading on the clouds was marvellous, but for some reason I had drawn myself slightly angled to the right as if I were talking to someone – the main problem with that being that there was certainly no one there.

I filled the gap with a bald stick person until I could figure out who belonged next to me on a clock tower.

When the bell rang I shoved the contents of the universe into my rucksack and swung it over my shoulder, rubbing at the marks that had already been left by the strap of my rucksack digging hard into my shoulder, chest and back.

"Roxas! Hey!" I swore under my breath and turned to see Seifer, Rai and Fuu somehow surrounding me. Clearly I needed to pay more attention to these things. "You never called us! We were heartbroken, right, Rai?"

Rai looked away from Seifer, away from Fuu, away from me. "Sure, y'know..." he muttered.

"Anyway. Do you want some easy cash or not? Because you see, the thing is..." Seifer leaned forwards like he was telling me the secret of the universe, and I admit that it having the possibility to help Naminé was rather amazing. "...the thing is, Roxas, is that nobody wants to fuck any of us. I think it's because we're a little intimidating, if you know what I mean."

I blinked. No. No _way_ was I paying for Naminé's surgery with prostitute munny. I would sooner lick the entire school clean using only soapy water and my tongue than do anything with these three, especially considering what had happened with...

"You see, Roxas, we're all a little frustrated. And if you need munny that badly, for that hot piece of ass that's currently comatose, you can't really afford to turn this down, can you?"

I swallowed hard. Seifer smirked at me, Rai was prodding the ground with his foot in the same way you would prod a sleeping bear, and Fuu said literally nothing, as is usually the case.

"Just think on it, okay?" And with that, the Dick Parade retreated to... wherever they hang out. I don't know.

I stumbled to the bathroom, feeling awful. So, a brief summary of my morning: I had humiliated myself in front of Axel, who was fairly sexy and one of the most badass kids in our grade; I had had my cell phone confiscated by Xigbar, who would probably forget to give it back like, ever, and now I had a choice between Naminé dying and becoming a prostitute.

Today officially sucked.

"Roxas?" I turned to see Axel strolling into the room, looking all cocky and actually quite attractive in the pale bathroom light. "You okay?"

I nodded, pretending to be fixing my hair so that I had an excuse to be in the bathroom other than just my being a pussy. "Are you okay? You seemed a bit weird this morning. First you were all pissed at Hayner for complementing me, and then you freaked out about seeing a hot blonde chick in fishnet stockings. You looked like you were about to be sick. Do you just really hate Larxene or something?"

He shrugged. "It was a bit of a shock. I've spent so much time with Demyx that it feels like she's my sister too, and the idea of her attempting to be sexy made me feel ill."

"Maybe you're just squeamish," I teased, discovering a split end and frowning. My hair was really the only thing I prided myself on. "What about when Hayner was being weird with me? You seemed kind of upset."

Axel shrugged again, leaning against a sink. "I'm not a morning person." I reminded myself that no one should ever know that Axel looked mildly adorable when he'd just woken up. "Anyway, are you sure you're all right? I just saw Seifer and his goons corner you. Is everything okay, or do I need to kill a bitch?"

"Well..." I found myself grimacing. "They were just asking me to do shit for munny, you know, since I need it so badly. Speaking of which, can I come to your place this weekend to help out and stuff? I don't need that much cash, but you know, little bits add up and –"

"Nah, it's fine, I have plenty of munny that I don't need," he said easily, waving a hand. "Is there anything else on your mind?"

_Yeah, I'm wondering why you give so many fucks_. I shrugged. "Well, Xigbar confiscated my phone earlier, and you know what he's like, I probably won't get it back until the apocalypse."

Axel smiled at me. I tried not to care too much. "I can try and get it back for you if you like. Demyx and Xigbar are pretty close, so..."

"You'd do that?" I asked, sounding like a kid who had just been offered large amounts of candy. It wasn't my fault if I loved my old, battered cellphone. It used to belong to Naminé, in fact. "Oh my God, Axel, that would be so sweet of you..."

Yeah, just grovel and suck up to the toughest guy you know, because then everyone will love you. Great plan, Roxas. Just superb.

"It's fine," he said with a grin, scratching the back of his head. "Uh... if you're gonna be free this weekend... after you've done my chores and shit... would you like to go get an ice cream or something?"

I looked at him blankly.

"You don't have to," he added hastily. "It's just... I know this place... and you seem like a nice enough guy..."

"I'd love to get ice cream with you, Axel," I said warmly, my left hand twitching slightly as the bell rang. "I'd better get to class now, I've got Xemnas so..."

"I'm going to Bio, I'll walk you to Xemnas's classroom first," he offered, and I just grinned like a complete sap. Hm, must be the sleep deprivation. After all, I was too young and too busy to fall in love.

I suddenly remembered the drawing I'd thrown together in Xigbar's class, the one with the missing person. Would it be weird to add Axel in there next to me? ...Yeah, it probably would.

In Xemnas's class, I added Axel in anyway, weird or not. Because we're friends, I guess. Friends have ice cream together sometimes. Hayner buys me ice cream all the time.

Life was okay. I just needed not to think too hard about certain people.

xxx

So I wasn't planning on updating today as such, but you see, shit has happened in my life and I wanted nice reviews to make me feel good.

See, I broke up with my boyfriend, and it was a pretty good decision of mine if I do say so myself, and I'm a whole lot happier now that I can flirt shamelessly with straight girls again, but he's being a bitch about it. So I decided to write some more Demyx and so on, because it makes me smile.

By the way, I do read every single review. Y'all are too special to just ignore. So never think that I don't acknowledge you or anything, because I love all of you big much.

Hugs and butterfly kisses, and REVIEW PRETTY PLEASE :D


	8. Chapter 8

**Warning: **This right here is a Unicorn of death Fanfiction. For those of you who haven't read my other brilliantly amazing Fanfictions, that basically means that this thing will be filled with swearing, YAOI (dun dun duuun) and the occasional tasteless joke. Consider yourself warned.

**Disclaimer: **It's called Fanfiction because I am a FAN, not the owner of the damned characters.

**All alone with Roxas**

"So basically you're asking me to sit here and keep watch while you're in Xigbar's office."

"And take him somewhere else if he shows up, yeah," I clarified, taking out a hairpin that I had stolen from one of Demyx's sisters and turning towards Xigbar's office door. Like every other teacher, he had an office that was off to the side of his classroom and protected only by one flimsy lock. "Thanks so much, Dem. I owe you big time."

Demyx chuckled. "Don't be an idiot, Ax. We both know that I'm only doing this to get some more quality time with Xigbar."

I rolled my eyes but said nothing as I inserted the hairpin into the lock and started to pick, knowing that I needed Demyx on my side if I was ever going to get Roxas's phone back for him. After all, I had kinda promised, and the look on his face when I said I'd try and get it back made me want to throw myself under the nearest train to see if there was a penny under there that he might like. You know the sort.

The lock gave way under my talented hands and I slipped inside Xigbar's office, shutting the door firmly behind me with a nod to Demyx. I looked around at the stacks of paper, most of it damp and miserable and abused, and in the corner, the most beautiful little cardboard box I had ever seen, crumpled and lonely and brimming with confiscated objects, probably including Roxas's phone.

I edged my way towards it, hindered by stacks of paperwork and a large broken desk chair, and held my breath, listening out for –

"Oh, _hey_, Xigbar." Demyx's voice was openly flirting and just a little louder than necessary, so I could hear him from Xigbar's office. "You look _great _in that shirt, you know."

"Demyx! Hi!" I sidled towards the ticket into Roxas's pants – um, I mean, the box with his cell in it – and started to very carefully remove things in search of his battered black phone, keeping my ears pricked up in order to listen to Xigbar and Demyx. "What – uh – what're you doing here?"

"Just wanted to see you." AHA! Roxas's phone! _Fuck yeah_! "I don't think that one period a day is _nearly_ enough time together, know what I mean?"

I could just imagine Demyx with his hands on Xigbar's arms – actually, I don't want to imagine that. At _all_.

"Demyx..." Ew, ew, ew, I hate my life, why me, why do I have to listen to this, ew, ew... "How about we take this somewhere else? My office or something?"

SHIT.

Demyx managed to keep his wits about him, which was rather impressive considering that I hadn't even been aware of the existence of his wits until today. "I don't think that your office would work for what I have planned," he said thoughtfully. I slipped Roxas's phone into my pocket and began edging my way back to the door. "How about the bathroom instead?"

"The – the bathroom?" God, Demyx, you have that man wrapped around your fucking finger, just _take him someplace else. _"Um... I... are you sure?"

"Trust me," he said softly. My eyes fell on a sheet of paper with Roxas's name at the top. Huh... "Or maybe I'll go get Luxord, you know, if you don't want to –"

"_No_," growled Xigbar. I bit back a chuckle that I didn't even want to chuckle and picked up the paper with Roxas's name on it, folding it in half and tucking it into my pocket with his phone, just for future reference. "Bathroom, now."

I listened to the footsteps, heart thudding almost in time with them, and as soon as the door clicked shut behind the pair of them, I sighed deeply and left Xigbar's office, darted into the corridor, and started searching desperately for Roxas, knowing that the bell was going to ring at any moment.

"Hey, Axel," said some chubby kid whose name I should have known, but didn't. Wait – wait a minute –

"Have you seen Roxas anywhere?" I asked, suddenly realising that this was Roxas's fat best friend, Pence or Cents or something. "I have something I need to give him."

"Yeah, he's just on his way to his detention with Marluxia. You should be able to catch him if you –"

As I took off, I just about heard him finish his sentence with the word "run".

I caught Roxas literally just as he was about to walk into Marluxia's classroom. He looked so cute right now, _fuck..._ very little oxygen seemed to be reaching my brain. I braced myself against a wall and handed him his phone without a word, trying not to squeal when his fingers brushed mine.

"Thanks, Axel," he smiled, looking down at it for a moment before putting it back in his pocket. OH MY GOD, LOOK AT THOSE JEANS, LOOK AT HIS FUCKING LEGS IN THOSE JEANS, SHIT. "Are you okay?"

I nodded. He probably thought I was such a fucking weirdo at this point. "Yeah, 'm fine," I said nonchalantly, paying no attention to my lungs collapsing on themselves. "You got detention with Marluxia now?"

"Well, I'm about three minutes early, but yeah." He started chewing on his thumbnail. HE'S SO CUTE. "I fucking hate school sometimes."

Deciding to avoid blurting out the first thing that came into my head (which on this occasion was "It's so hot when you swear, do it again, oh my fucking God") I took a deep breath. I looked at the floor. I looked back at Roxas. FUCK HE'S SO HOT FUCK – I looked away from Roxas. My tongue felt like it was made of splinters.

"I hate it too," I said eventually. "But hey, if it weren't for school, we wouldn't have met."

WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK DID I JUST FUCKING SAY?

"Yeah, I guess." He smiled. Okay... just go kill yourself now, Axel. "I'd better get inside." You can get inside any time you like, Roxas, or I'll get inside, or – STOP IT. "See you tomorrow, I guess, when I come over to do your dishes and shit."

You'll do a lot more than dishes if I have anything to say about it.

"See you around, Roxas." I watched him go into Marluxia's classroom, then turned away. I tried really hard not to think about what I was going to do to him tomorrow when he came over. Even if I just got one hug from him... at this point, I'd settle for accidental skin-to-skin contact... I just wanted him _so badly_...

"Hey, you. Axel. Don't you have Physics now?" I looked at the source of the annoyance – I mean, the voice.

"Yeah, Kairi, I do. Thanks." She smiled brightly at me before continuing down the hall. I should probably get to class. Mind you, I hadn't skipped class in, what, a week? I could probably get away with missing one period...

"Axeelllllllll," whimpered a voice from behind me, and I turned to see Demyx, red around the eyes. He fell into me, burying his face in my shoulder. "I'm so upset right now..."

"What's up, Demyx?" But he wouldn't tell me. He couldn't tell me – he was struggling for breath, sobbing into my shoulder, clinging to me desperately like I was the only solid thing left in this universe. "Demyx?"

"I wanna... g-go... home," he choked out, holding me so tightly it hurt.

"Shh." Okay, he's a pain in the ass sometimes, and he gets away with far too much, but he's a nice kid, he's my best friend, and I was ready to kill a bitch if he was upset. "Demyx, c'mon, it can't be that bad."

"It's _worse_," he whined. "I want to die. I actually do."

_Someone _was gonna fucking die, alright, but I'll be damned if it was Dem.

"Demyx?" I asked gently, pulling him away from my neck so I could look him in the eye. He was even pretty when he cried, that lucky bastard, his green-blue eyes glowing with unshed tears and his face tinted pink. "Was it Xigbar?"

He just whimpered and threw himself back into my arms, almost knocking me over.

Roxas had better be happy to have his cellphone back, because it had cost a whole lot more than I'd thought.

**Marluxia needs to get laid**

I sat down in the seat next to Vexen, as far away from Marluxia is it is possible to be, and took out my favourite pen. I felt a whole lot more secure with my cellphone back in my pocket. To think, all this time I'd thought Axel was intimidating and a little stuck-up, but actually he was a really nice guy. You just kind of had to be on the right side of him.

"Hello, boys." I heard Vexen gulp next to me, both of us shrinking under Marluxia's rapist stare. "I trust that you both have some paper and a pen with you?"

I nodded. Vexen just stared back at Marluxia. I couldn't tell whether they were eye-fucking each other or whether Vexen was trying to telepathically strangle him.

"Good. I want one hundred lines about... something. It's up to you. I'll be very interested to see what you come up with."

I shifted in my seat slightly. Literally everything that Marluxia said made me want to curl into a ball and die whilst I still had my virginity. It was probably worse for Vexen, who received Marluxia's undivided attention far more often than he really should have.

"Roxas," hissed Vexen, a curtain of blonde hair shielding his face from Marluxia, who was distracted with something else anyway "I'm going to sneak out in a minute. When Marluxia asks, tell him I went to the cafeteria. If he follows me, you can slip out. Okay?"

I frowned. "Um... why?"

Marluxia glanced up at us. I swallowed hard and kept my eyes fixed to my piece of paper. "Because," breathed Vexen, "detentions with Marluxia live up to every last rumour that you've heard about them." So Marluxia was an incredibly kinky rapist with a gerbil fetish. Huh. "Now, just calm down and get back to your lines."

I wrote "I will do my homework" (shortest thing I could think of) another time and nodded as subtly as I could.

All of a sudden, there was nothing sitting next to me, and I felt kind of exposed. Where were blonde creepy nerds when you needed them, anyway?

"Roxas," Marluxia said softly, "do you have any idea where Vexen may have disappeared to?"

I shook my head hard, suddenly reluctant to give the poor kid away. And if he was lying, I was going to get in shit too. Of course, going slightly pale and shaking your head vigourously is not always the most effective way of keeping a secret, and Marluxia smirked, leaning very close to me.

"You know, Roxas, I don't want this to get... unpleasant. I can always persuade you _nicely_ to talk to me. You can trust me, you know."

What... the... fuck.

"Um, I, um... Vexen's in the cafeteria," I blurted out, inwardly beating myself over the head with a chair. "Or at least, that's where he said he was going."

Marluxia smiled sweetly at me before taking his leave, abandoning me when I had twenty-five minutes left of my detention and making me question my moral values. It would be the honest thing to stay for the rest of the detention, but it would be the convenient thing to leave now while I still had two grams of innocence left within me.

Fuck it. No way was I staying here and waiting for Marluxia to come back and molest me.

I slid my paper back into my bag, crammed my favourite pen into my pocket and stood up. Okay, if I got into shit, I would just have to deal with it. At this point I was too tired and too stressed to care.

Outside the classroom, I paused.

Demyx was in Axel's arms.

Huh.

"It's okay, Dem." I'm not jealous, I'm not jealous, I'm not jealous... wait, what? "I'll rip his balls off if you want."

Demyx just whimpered. I swallowed hard, trying not to feel too bad about the fact that they clearly were a couple even if Hayner said that they weren't. It was bound to happen eventually. Sora and his "best friend" Riku were living proof that two extremely gay guys can't hang out constantly without something else developing.

I sidled away from them, deciding to avoid the cafeteria just in case, and headed for the library. Hopefully I'd bump into Olette or Pence –

"Hey there, Roxas." Everywhere I turn, creepy-ass people are trying to get in my pants. This time it was Hayner. "You doing anything interesting tonight?"

"Just homework," I said, ducking behind a carousel filled with outdated brochures to get away from him. He followed me. Shit.

"How about I come over and _help_ you?" How about no? "With your homework, I mean," he added, in a way that made it clear that he had been thinking of something other than homework.

"Thanks, but my dad's kind of pissed at me for getting detention with Marluxia. He won't be happy with me hanging out with you for a few days." Good lie, Roxas, superb. "By the way, did you know that Demyx was cuddling with Axel in the middle of the hall earlier?" I wanted to sound nonchalant, but for some reason, my voice caught in my throat.

Hayner frowned. "Really? Huh. I guess that would... make sense..." He scratched the back of his head. "I mean, when you were in my room last night, it kind of sounded as if they were..."

"It did, didn't it?" I sighed. "Well, whatever, I guess."

"Roxas?" I didn't quite meet Hayner's gaze. "Do you like Axel?"

I shook my head. "No, of course not. Not like that." _Think of an excuse, think of a good excuse_... "It's just... Sora's with Riku, and Kairi's with Selphie, and there are rumours about Olette and Pence, and it just feels like every single person other than myself is in love, y'know?"

"Meet me here after school," said Hayner, gesturing to the rest of the library. "I'll take your mind off it. In fact, we could even start now?"

_Just lie your balls off, _I thought to myself, sucking in a breath. "Um, well, uh..."

"Come on, Roxas, you can't get all mopey about being single and then complain about me trying to fix it." Hayner placed both hands on my chest and pushed me into a wall. "Relax. I'll make this nice and easy. You'll enjoy it."

"Hayner..." Shit, shit, SHIT... "Later, okay? I wouldn't want our first time to be in the corner of the school library." I don't want our first time to be _anywhere_, _ever_, at _all_, but that was a different problem. "I'll meet you here tonight. I'll tell my dad that I'm studying or something."

"Okay." Hayner nodded, swallowing my horribly transparent lie like it was chocolate syrup. "See you then, Roxas."

I somehow managed to escape from the library with my trousers intact and scurried down the hall, wondering where I could go and hide for the last fifteen minutes of lunch because I didn't want to be pursued by Hayner and Marluxia and Axel-who-is-apparently-with-Demyx-now.

Not that I cared, of course.

"Roxas? You okay there?" I looked at the source of the voice. Oh. It was just Selphie. I had kind of collided with her in the middle of the hall. That sucked. Still, she's a nice enough girl, and ever since she and Kairi had got together she was literally a walking bundle of smiles and always smelt like both Kairi's perfume and her own.

"Yeah, I'm... I'm okay..."

"You don't look it. Is there anything I can do?" She patted me awkwardly on the shoulder.

"Nah, it's okay." It's just that everyone keeps trying to get in my pants except the only guy I ever looked at twice, who was too busy cuddling Demyx to –

Ahem.

"Well, if you're sure. By the way, um, if you see Kairi, could you tell her that I need to talk to her?" Something in Selphie's voice suggested that this was more than just a quick chat between lovers. "Bye, Roxas."

And with that she scuttled off rather too abruptly.

Why is everything so fucking complicated?

xxx

ANOTHER CHAPTER? So very soon after the last one?

Hehe, it's mostly just filler. Or at least, that's how it felt. I just want to thank all my beautiful readers, especially those of you who review, and to apologise for the comparative shortness and shittiness of this chapter.

Also, my now-ex-boyfriend apologised to me for being a bitch, and we're now on relatively good terms. So I guess everything's looking up. Except my parents' marriage, but I doubt you want to hear about all that.

Reviews? Please? Don't make me use my secret Dolan mode on you. I can and I will.


	9. Chapter 9

**Warning: **This right here is a Unicorn of death Fanfiction. For those of you who haven't read my other brilliantly amazing Fanfictions, that basically means that this thing will be filled with swearing, YAOI (dun dun duuun) and the occasional tasteless joke. Consider yourself warned.

**Disclaimer: **It's called Fanfiction because I am a FAN, not the owner of the damned characters.

**Roxas needs to get laid**

"Dem, it's been, what, five hours? Tell me what happened." I tilted my chair back, glancing around the school library. The librarian was nowhere to be seen, as always, and in fact I think we were alone except for some kid fidgeting behind a bookshelf. I wasn't really sure who, and I didn't really care. I just wanted to know what the fuck Xigbar had done to reduce Demyx to this, a miserable, sniffling wreck, all of his charm and manipulative skill drained from him.

"He – he – he..." Demyx took a deep breath. "I... he has..."

"He has what?" I prompted gently, playing with my sleeve. I was going to kill that bastard. He was right underneath Hayner on my hit list.

Demyx clung onto my arm so hard that I lost the feeling in my fingers. "He's got a tattoo."

"A tattoo? That's it?" A tattoo. Somehow, that seemed like a very minor thing. "What's it a tattoo of?"

"Some bitch's name, that's what it's a fucking tattoo of! Right across his fucking heart, he has "Natalie" tattooed in black, italic writing. And I-I asked him about it, and..." Demyx suddenly let go of my arm, his hands moving to drum on the table instead. "He said that _Natalie_ is his fucking _girlfriend_, and they're always fighting and breaking up and then getting back together, and he wouldn't even think of doing anything with me if they weren't on a fucking break at the moment!"

I winced. That was so cold. I could imagine how much it would hurt for Demyx.

"I can't believe this," he said, scrubbing at a stray tear on his cheek. "I hate her. I don't know who she is, but I hate her."

I patted Demyx on the shoulder, and we lapsed into awkward silence.

"Do you want me to hurt Xigbar?" I asked flatly after a long pause. "I can, you know. I'd get in shit for it, sure, but..."

"Nah, it's fine." Demyx didn't look like it was fine at all. "I'm not really... not really mad at him, to be honest. Just miserable. It's not his fault if he found someone who gives better blowjobs than me."

I felt so helpless, but all I could really do at the moment was pat Dem on the shoulder and hope to fuck that Roxas would show up, preferably naked and covered in chocolate syrup –

Shit, he really _was_ coming through the door.

Sadly he was fully clothed, and rather than crossing the room straight over to me and giving me the blowjob of a lifetime, he walked straight past me and Demyx.

"Roxas!" If that was who I fucking thought it was – "I was starting to think you weren't gonna show!"

GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HIM, HAYNER, YOU DICK.

"Yeah, well, I did." Roxas sounded somewhere between apprehensive and resigned, with overtones of sexy, as always. "My mom called me to talk about Naminé's surgery, so I was late, but you should know by now, I always show up eventually."

"Don't worry, Rox. I'll keep your mind off your sister. Just relax, and let me do all the work."

IF YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT WHAT I THINK YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT THEN YOU ARE SO FUCKING DEAD.

"Are we gonna do it here or..." Do what here? What are you doing that you couldn't do in the nice innocent school library? Roxas, don't do this to me...

"We can do it wherever you want, Roxas. Tell me and we'll go there, I don't mind. Tonight I am your bitch."

YOU FUCKING DOUCHENOZZLE, I AM HIS BITCH, HIS ONE AND ONLY BITCH, AND A FAR BETTER BITCH THAN YOU WILL EVER FUCKING BE.

"Ax?" whispered Demyx as I leapt to my feet, my head full of hazy KILL HAYNER, FUCK ROXAS thoughts. "Calm down, Axel, it's not –"

"You're not my just my bitch tonight, Hayner, you're _always_ my bitch." NO HE'S NOT. PLEASE. I WANT TO BE YOUR BITCH. PLEEEEASE. "We can do it here, the only other people in here are Axel and Demyx and they'll be busy with each other anyway so..."

Oh my fucking fuck, the pain I felt at the thought of them getting up to something in the romance section of the fucking school library was too much to bear.

"Axel!" Demyx hissed, grabbing my arm and finding himself dragged along behind me as I stormed to the romance section. I was going to fucking defenestrate Hayner. Roxas may only ever have one bitch, and that's me. (Something in the back of my mind opened its mouth to protest to my logic, but it was promptly kicked to the floor.) God, I was so _angry_...

"Oh, it's you." Hayner stood with an eyebrow cocked and one hand up – WHAT THE FUCK. HIS HAND WAS UP ROXAS'S FUCKING SHIRT. "What do you two want?"

Two? Oh, yeah, I had Demyx clinging onto me like some lovesick little puppy.

"C'mon, Hayner... let's go somewhere else..." Roxas was bright pink, looking directly at the floor and playing with the hem of Hayner's shirt. Was it my imagination or did Roxas's eyes look frosted with tears? Oh, fuck, fuckfuckfuck, my poor baby Roxas, it's okay, I'll save you –

"Axel?" I looked at Demyx, who had his hand on my shoulder. Good, I needed an excuse to stop looking at Roxas. Seeing him like that with Hayner was a knife through my fucking chest. "Are you okay, Ax?"

Hayner snorted. "_Ax_. Like... like he's your boyfriend. Cute nickname, I guess. Now, could you two leave Roxas and I in peace? We're kind of in the middle of something. _Aren't_ _we_, _Rox_?"

FUCKING DIE, YOU FUCKING BASTARD.

"Um..." Roxas looked torn. _C'mere, Roxas, I'll make it all better, just get away from that fucking prick, PLEASE_... "I... should probably... get home..."

"Don't leave." Was that _my_ voice? I sounded so fucking pathetic. "Roxas..."

Roxas planted two hands on Hayner's chest and with one sudden movement pushed Hayner away, not seeming to mind that he fell against the Jane Austin section. "Today has just been too fucking weird. Bye guys." With that, he scurried past Dem and I out of the library, and I swear to fucking God I heard him sob as he went past.

FUCK.

"Don't follow him, Axel." DON'T YOU FUCKING TELL ME WHAT TO DO, YOU BITCH, I WILL RIP YOU APART WITH MY BARE HANDS. "You'll only make it worse."

"Hayner, I think we should get home." YOU DICK, DEMYX. LET ME KILL YOUR BROTHER. "Call me tonight, Ax."

"I –" I couldn't seem to form full words. "Dem – you know – I can't – help..."

"Just stay calm." Demyx leaned closer to me. "You'll need it." He grabbed Hayner by the arm, beginning to tug him out of the library. "See you soon."

Right. Okay. Deep breath. Nice, logical, lowercase thoughts, preferably in full sentences. I needed to keep calm because – because –

Where the FUCK had Roxas gone?

What was wrong with him, anyway? He seemed really upset, even when he was about to get some. Although Hayner was so fugly that I couldn't really blame him for that. But he hadn't protested, either... he sounded like he had just stopped trying to fight Hayner away.

I took another steadying breath. Okay, where could I find Roxas? The bathroom? His house? Where _was_ his house, anyway? I would have to find that out. Or maybe he could be at the bus stop, waiting to get a bus? Mind you, if he was tight on cash, he would probably avoid the bus and opt for walking home anyway...

_Axel, you idiot, what are you doing hanging around here_? demanded a logical (if rather bossy) voice from my head. _Go and start looking for the kid!_

All right. I could find Roxas, and make him feel better. And then... and then I would have to avoid killing Hayner, at least for the time being. It wouldn't really help Roxas. It would just make things worse for him, and I'd get in trouble again, and if I did time in jail, well, that was time away from Roxas, and that was the last thing I wanted. I wanted to be with him every second of every day, to kiss away all the bad thoughts and the fears, to save his sister for him and to make him feel as beautiful as he really was. I wanted him to know how much I loved him.

**To be loved**

I leaned against the bathroom door, fully intending to fight away anyone who attempted to enter the room. Of course, if Hayner had followed me, I was fucked (literally) because he would definitely be able to push the door open.

Fuck, I must have looked like such a pansy, leaning against the bathroom door and fighting back tears.

I felt it push against my back. "Go away," I called, bracing myself. There was another push, slightly harder this time. "I said _fuck off_," I yelled, throwing my head back and smacking it on the handle. Owwww.

"Roxas, it's me. Lemme in." Axel, you are the _last_ person I want to see right now. Go back to cuddling Demyx in the library or the hall or wherever the fuck you two like cuddling.

Whoa, where did _that_ come from?

"Fuck off," I muttered, sliding down the door until I was sitting on the floor, back still pressed against the shoddy yellow paint.

Of course, Axel pushed the door open like it was nothing, and came into the bathroom. Fuck.

"Roxas..." He sat down on the floor next to me, careful not to touch me, of course. "Are you pissed at me?"

"Yeah," I blurted out. Oh, shit. Did I really just say that? Fuckkk. Me and my fat, ugly mouth.

Axel looked at me, and if I didn't know better, I'd say he looked hurt. Devastated, even. Which is totally insane, I know. I needed more sleep. "Why?" he asked softly.

Why indeed? "I don't really know," I said almost-truthfully. "I just... I'm pissed at everyone. Everything sucks so bad at the moment."

"I bet it does." He shuffled a little closer to me, probably severely uncomfortable on the cold bathroom floor. "Is there anything I can do to make you less pissed at me?"

STOP CUDDLING DEMYX.

...There comes a point when you have to wonder _why_ you're so pissed about a guy you barely even know cuddling another guy who is fairly nice, friendly and clearly attractive, and totally cuddleworthy. After all, I had no reason to be jealous or angry or what have you. I could understand Axel's willingness to cuddle Demyx. I had no connections to either of them, save for being best friends with Demyx's brother. If you could still call us best friends. Hayner had just nearly fucked me in the school library. I think that overstepped the "friend" line.

"I don't know. I just... I'm sorry." I sighed heavily. "I'm being really unfair. I'm sorry. I'm such a dick sometimes."

"No, you aren't." Axel reached out and grabbed my hand. Oh, hai thar. _Shut the fuck up, hormones, nobody needs you_. "Roxas..."

"Axel..."

_Meaningful eye contact, hehehe..._ Goddammit, I fucking hate my own thoughts sometimes.

"Roxas, look at me." I looked at him. His face seemed more defined, somehow, sharpened by something like hunger. "Fuck..." he breathed, just the ghost of a word, "_fuck_..."

"What?" I asked, feeling someone's pulse in my hand. I couldn't tell whether it was his or my own. It was pretty damn fast, I knew that much.

"You." He leaned back slightly, still holding my hand for no real reason, and looked up at the ceiling. "Roxas, what's going on with you and Hayner?"

I don't fucking know. "Well... he keeps trying to fuck me, and today I was just too tired and too stressed to say no. And I was miserable because Pence and Olette are flirting all the time and Kairi's with Selphie and Sora's with Riku and I'm all alone, and I figured, Hayner's probably as good a lay as anyone, right? And he was up for it, and I just thought, maybe if I caved then he'd get what he wanted and finally leave me alone."

"If you want him to leave you alone, just tell him to get the fuck out, and if that doesn't work, tell me, and I'll beat him into the ground for ya." It was both chilling and kinda hot, the way Axel talked so nonchalantly about violence and so on. Wait, what? I didn't say hot. You can't prove anything. "And you know, if you were feeling lonely, you should've said something. I could have fixed that for you."

LOLWUT.

"Um..." Coherent thoughts. That was the first step to forming coherent words, just trying to make coherent thoughts. "Um... um..."

"You know, there's a huge crack in the ceiling." Axel pointed with the hand that wasn't tangled up in mine. "Imagine if the school started falling apart." He suddenly turned to look at me, his eyes a horribly clashing combination of calculating and sentimental. "If the school was falling down around your ears, would you cling to someone? And who?"

"Hmm." I looked up at the broken ceiling, worried I was going to blush if I looked at Axel. "I don't know. Naminé, if she were here. I'd have to protect her. Or maybe Sora and Kairi. You?"

Axel squeezed my hand. "One day, you'll figure it out," he whispered. "Everyone will know, soon enough."

I squinted at him. "You're madly in love with someone." It was an observation, not a question.

"Yeah, I am." He smiled. "He's amazing. You'd like him, I think."

I shrugged, trying to mask the completely irrational prickles of jealousy starting to run through me. "Wish I could find someone as amazing as... whoever you're into."

"He might be closer than you think, Roxas." I opened my mouth, but he cut me off. "Before you ask, mine isn't Demyx, and yours is not Hayner."

I grinned. He knew I was going to say that. How did he know me so well? I'd barely talked to him, but he seemed to know more about me than any of my friends, seemed to care more and like me more than people like Selphie and Riku.

"Y'know, Axel..." I tapped the heel of my foot against the floor. "I don't think you're nearly as tough as you claim to be. You're really just an enormous romantic."

Axel grinned at me. Gah, that was actually quite sexy. That guy he liked was kinda lucky. "I never claimed to be tough. People just assumed."

"I used to think you were tough. In fact, I used to think you were a bit of a dick." I had to question at this point why we were still holding hands. "But actually, I think people talk shit about people they're jealous of. So I heard all this stuff about you, and actually here you are gushing over some gorgeous boy on the bathroom floor."

Axel moved ever-so-slightly closer to me. "Yeah, well. I'm nicer to people I like." Wait. What was his hand doing? He released my hand and started tracing patterns on my forearm. "And I really quite like you, Roxas."

I have to say, I felt like I owned the whole world when he said my name like that.

"I like you too." His hand was working its way up my arm, nearly at my elbow... "Um, Axel? Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah?" he answered, his hand suddenly on my back. Erm... okay...?

"Uh..." I was distracted by the fact that somehow, I had ended up with Axel's arm around my waist. "Um... I forgot."

He chuckled. "I thought you were in an insane hurry to get home, anyway."

"Oh, shut up," I laughed, leaning into him slightly, "you know I only said that to get away from Hayner."

"And me," he muttered.

"Well..." I said, looking down at my feet. "I'm sorry. I was just so upset and..."

"It's fine. You still coming over tomorrow?"

I nodded. "Thanks, by the way. For, you know... being too lazy to do your own damn dishes. I really do need every penny." _Why is your arm around my waist? What about mystery boy?_

"It's absolutely fine, Roxas," he said warmly, pulling me gently closer to him. "I'm really looking forward to having you in my house, you know."

That could _not_ be unintentional. The universe doesn't hate me that much, right? He was flirting with me a _little_, wasn't he?

Fuck, everything was so confusing. I should really get home, do my homework, call Seifer, Rai and Fuu, eat dinner, and go to bed. Really, I should. I should not stay in the bathroom for three hours and talk about nothing in particular with Axel.

Okay, just to stand up and leave...

Eh, fuck it. I didn't need those three hours anyway. Physics homework was nowhere near as beneficial to me as hanging out with Axel. I could always do it tomorrow, anyway.

xxx

Aww, poor DemDem :'( Don't worry. I'll make things better for him soon.

I want to give big hugs and love to all my reviewers. I also want to tell them to go read ALL my fanfiction, EVER, and to send me cookies and flowers.

It's two in the morning, don't ask me to make sense.

REVIEW for the sake of my self-esteem, sanity, and... um... other shit. REVIEW. REVIEW REVIEW RE-FUCKING-VIEW.

(I'm so subtle, hehe.)


	10. Chapter 10

**Warning: **This right here is a Unicorn of death Fanfiction. For those of you who haven't read my other brilliantly amazing Fanfictions, that basically means that this thing will be filled with swearing, YAOI (dun dun duuun) and the occasional tasteless joke. Consider yourself warned.

**Disclaimer: **It's called Fanfiction because I am a FAN, not the owner of the damned characters.

**To be Roxas**

"Axel, do you really _have_ to go home?"

I stopped in the middle of spraying my hair with copious amounts of Demyx's hair spray to bend down so I could talk to Henna. "Well, later today then Roxas is going to come to my house. And then afterwards, we're going for ice cream on the clock tower."

Her sparkling brown eyes grew even wider than they were naturally. "And you're gonna tell him that you love him?"

I winced. _You_ try breaking a promise like that to an adorable little girl who was clutching Mr Bunny in one hand. "I'll try, Henna. If I chicken out and don't tell him, I'll try again tomorrow. Okay?"

She nodded. "And you gotta _keep_ trying until he loves you back." She pulled Mr Bunny into what must have been a painfully enthusiastic hug. "You two are perfect for each other."

I smiled at her. "Hey, yesterday I held his hand."

She gasped. "In this movie I saw, they said that you can always tell that they're your true love when your hands touch. Is it true?"

I looked from left to right – like anyone except Hayner was actually going to give a fuck if they overheard – and leaned closer to her. "I think I already knew before we held hands," I whispered. "But now it's definite."

I watched the smile grow across her face. "When you and Roxas have babies, will you name one of them after me?"

"Of course we will, Henna." She didn't need to know the details about boys and their inability to reproduce with one another. Roxas and I could adopt, anyway. "Now, while I'm gone I need you to look after Demyx, because he's a little upset."

"A little upset" didn't scratch the fucking surface. I was scared that he was going to jump off a bridge while I was wooing Roxas. Xigbar hadn't spoken to him since the Natalie tattoo incident and he was looking, well, devastated at best.

"Why is he upset?" Henna asked, reaching up to straighten my shirt. N'aww.

"Well..." His favourite teacher is fucking someone else and for some reason he prefers her. "The person he likes, well, he likes someone else. But he kind of made Demyx think that he liked him back for a while, and then all of a sudden he finds out about this bi-this girl, Natalie."

Henna smiled. "You know Hayner says bad words all the time, and sometimes Demyx does when he doesn't know I'm listening. I don't mind if you call her names."

Reason number three hundred and twenty-seven why Hayner should die alone and cold and Roxas-less.

"Bend down more and I'll put some lipgloss on you," offered Henna, brandishing a tube of lipgloss. I had seen the magic she worked on Demyx's face and bent closer to her without a word of complaint. "Just hold still..."

When she was finished applying my make-up, assisted by Mr Bunny, of course, she patted me on the head, kissed me on the cheek, and wished me "All of the lucks in the world" before scampering away to look after Demyx. She was so sweet.

I decided I probably had time to walk to my house. Roxas wasn't due there for another two hours and it was about a half-hour walk from Dem's place, but I wanted to make sure that I had hidden all my pictures of Roxas – I mean, that my hair was okay. Obviously.

"Hang on a sec..." I looked down at my iPod screen for a second before tearing out my earbuds and stuffing it back into my pocket in disgust. "I don't even _like_ Ke$ha, what the fuck?"

In the deadly silent alleyway, I could still hear "Your Love Is My Drug" playing faintly out of my left pocket. I felt mildly uneasy walking down here. Just mildly.

I kicked a pebble. It fell into the road, lost and lonely, and for some reason, it reminded me of Demyx.

I sighed. What was I even going to _do_ with Dem? He was clearly head-over-heels, sickeningly, terrifyingly in love with Xigbar, but he _still_ didn't see the problem with sucking Luxord off, flirting with Xemnas and sending the occasional photo to Zexion. It really worried me to think that one day soon he was going to be legally old enough to do literally whatever those men wanted him to do, and he didn't seem to mind that idea. I was scared that he actually depended on making them think he was sexy to feel attractive himself. I was scared that one day very soon, he was going to realise that the whispers of "whore" and "slut" weren't as unfounded as they seemed, and that no matter what his intentions, people were judging the hell out of him. Because rumours went around, girls talked, guys overheard, and it was pretty widely known already that Demyx had some very questionable methods of getting what he wanted. I didn't want him degraded like that – degrading _himself_ like that.

Although he did make a good point about my shameless stalking of Roxas and cheating myself out of the grades I deserved to stay on the same level as him.

My phone vibrated in my pocket. I was still a good ten minutes from home. I sighed heavily and took it out, hoping it wasn't "Goodbye, cruel world," from Demyx or "You're a fucking creep and I hate you" from Roxas.

(1) New Message from Demyx

_Hey Ax. I'm fine, seriously. Henna says hi and good luck. I also say good luck and hi. And so on. I didn't sleep last night, can you tell? Don't rape Roxas, that's probably where Hayner was going wrong. -Dem_

God, every time someone so much as mentioned Hayner I felt sick to my stomach.

_Aw, thanks, you two. Don't worry, Dem, I'm planning on being a perfect gentleman. Give Henna a hug for me. -Ax_

I stuffed my phone into my pocket, emerging into the snobbiest neighbourhood in Twilight Town and biting down on my bottom lip. I always felt so badass walking down the nice clean streets with firetruck red hair and eyeliner, but today I was nervous as fuck. Only an hour and a half til I saw Roxas. Shit.

I sprinted to my house. I sprinted up the stairs. I sprinted into my room. Okay, I needed to get all the slightly questionable photos hidden – would it be worth destroying my video camera? That had a tape or two on it as well – and the bed nice and comfy just in case, and make sure I knew where my condoms were, and the lube, and maybe those pink fluffy handcuffs that Demyx's cousin Saïx got me as a joke –

And maybe breathing would be a good idea as well.

I leaned against my wall. Right, okay, all I needed to do now was calm the fuck down, make sure that my laptop was shut down (the number of times I've left it on with certain pictures of certain people being transferred from my cellphone to my hard drive – emphasis on hard, most of the time – and my parents have stumbled across it) and figure out how I was going to seduce Roxas.

_Axel. I know what you're like. Just take some deep breaths now. When he arrives – if he hasn't already – keep your hands to yourself. Sit on them if you have to, I don't really give a fuck. Just do. Not. Do. ANYTHING. Perverted. Got it? -Dem_

_Yeah, yeah, I know. But what if he gives me that "come hither" look that he does? Or he stretches and his shirt rides up and I see his skin... _Was I actually managing to get myself hard _typing_ things about Roxas? Fuck. Was that construed as true love or just an unhealthy obsession? _What if when we're eating ice cream he's sucking on it and... um... -Ax_

Aaaand now I was incredibly stiff and Roxas was gonna be here in... forty-five minutes. What if I wasn't finished when he got here? Imagine if he got to my fucking house and I couldn't open the fucking door because I was fucking masturbating.

My phone went off again. Demyx was such a fast texter. I had once overheard the single most disturbing conversation between Luxord and Xigbar about "Demyx's talented thumbs", and I did like to tell myself that they were referring to his skill at Temple Run or Angry Birds.

_Okay, firstly, Roxas is probably physically incapable of giving anyone a "come hither" look, and in fact, your imagination is just scary. Second, no matter what happens, you will NOT try to molest him, because you want him to fall in love with something other than your dick. Okay? Okay. -Dem_

Fuck that child and his fucking logic.

I sighed. Okay, I could either jack off now, or I could jack off after Roxas left. Or maybe if I got lucky Roxas would help me to release some tension... Oh, fuck, I was going to have to –

And then there was a knock at the door.

SHIT.

**Doing dishes... well, attempting to...**

"...so then the cat leaps over the fucking fence, and topples the entire goddamn garbage can..."

I almost got the impression that Axel wasn't really listening to me. He was staring at me as I washed all his fucking dishes. Why the _fuck_ did he have so many dishes, anyway? And why was it necessary for him to _watch_ me scrubbing them? Although it was nice for him to keep me company while I babbled on about nothing in particular.

"Roxas?" I looked up at him briefly, nearly scalding my hand on the water when I wasn't paying any attention. "It would work better if you did it in circles."

"No it wouldn't!" I protested, looking down at the dishes I had already done. They were fucking perfect. How _dare_ he insult my dishes? "How the hell would it?"

"Look." All of a sudden Axel was behind me and holding the very same dish I was holding. Now, forgive me if I'm wrong, but I do believe that there are ways of demonstrating your point _without_ cuddling up to the person you were explaining to. "Do it like _this_," he breathed in my ear, lacing his warm, dry fingers with my wet soapy ones and moving my sponge in a circle.

"It doesn't _work_," I protested, deciding that he probably hit on everyone like this and that I should just continue as normal, even if I was rather enjoying this. "It works better the way I was doing it before, up and down."

Please, for the love of all things wholesome, do not repeat that last sentence without explaining the context it came from first.

"You shouldn't contradict me, Roxas, since I'm the one with the munny." Manipulative bastard. Although it was quite sexy when he – wait, what? "But, you know, whatever. Do it your way. It looks like it was working beautifully, just taking you a while."

"Oh, so you want rid of me as soon as possible?" I joked, noticing that now he had finished playing with _my_ washing-up sponge, rather than letting go of me he simply threaded his arms around my waist and stayed behind me, his chest brushing my back every now and again and sending tingles through my entire body like some fucking cliché girl from some cliché novel.

"Not at all," he murmured, surprisingly close to my ear, his grip tightening on me. "But I believe you promised to sit up on the clock tower and eat ice cream with me after you finish with that?"

"Oh, yeah, I did promise that." I had almost forgotten, what with everything being so up and down over the past few days. "So you want me to be finished so I can spend more munny on more ice creams for myself, then?"

Axel "tsk"ed in my ear. "_I_ would pay for the ice cream, Roxas. _Obviously_."

"Why, because you're filthy rich and your parents raised you to be a charitable soul and donate ice cream to stray blondes you come across?" I teased, finishing the last black dish and starting on the smaller white ones. At this rate I'd be done within an hour at most, which left me plenty of time for hanging out with Axel and being Axel's friend and finding out about Axel's crush.

My phone started vibrating in my pocket. I swore under my breath. Axel smirked. "It's okay, Roxas, you can answer it."

I wiped one of my hands dry, wriggled away from Axel a little, and dug into my pocket. "hello?"

"Hey, Roxas, it's me." My entire being went cold and I grabbed onto the nearest warm thing I could find – Axel. "You okay?"

"N-Nami, you shouldn't be... you can't have your cellphone near your equipment, remember? It'll fuck up your heart again."

Axel said nothing, just slipped a thin arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer to him. "It's okay, Rox," Naminé laughed down the phone, "they took me off the heart system thing this morning when I woke up. They said that if I go under again, they'll have to hook me back up, but –"

"_If_?" I echoed, vaguely aware of Axel's hand moving up and down my back. "You mean there's a chance you'll stay awake? This time, I mean?"

There was a long pause. I braced myself for the worst.

"No, Roxas. It means there's a chance I'll stay asleep. This time, I mean." I screwed up my face in pain. Even though I was almost ready to hear that... "But don't focus on that. Keep your head up and smile, okay?"

"Naminé," I said desperately, clinging to Axel's shirt with the damp hand that wasn't holding my phone. "I'm working on it, okay? Mom and Dad and I are all trying to find the munny for your surgery. Don't give up yet. Don't go back to sleep."

There was another pause, with Naminé definitely still there, just too scared to speak. I waited, not wanting to talk over her or interrupt her.

The line went dead.

"Fuck it!" I hissed, feeling my cellphone fall through my fingers and hearing it land on the solid kitchen floor, but seeing nothing through the haze of tears and Axel's shirt. He held me like a little kid, patted me on the back, made me feel better. "I-I'm sorry, Axel, I –"

"Don't you dare apologise, Roxas," he growled, his fingers twisting into my hair, which was oddly comforting. "None of this is your fault, understand?"

I nodded into his chest, giving up on my dignity and wrapping my arms around him. "I just – if she gives up... I couldn't bear it..."

"Don't you worry, Roxas," he said quietly, tipping my head back so that he could dab away the stray tears with his sleeve. "I _swear_ she'll be okay."

I nodded, not believing him for a single fucking second. "Thanks, Axel. I should probably..."

"Leave them." He took hold of my shoulders and turned me firmly away from the dishes. "You're coming with me and we're having ice cream."

Nothing of note happened during the process of buying ice creams, and in fact the first interesting thing happened when we reached the top of the clock tower.

"Roxas..." Axel began, tearing off the wrapper of his ice cream. He'd gone for sea salt, which I had been planning on having, but I didn't want to look all matchy and weird, so I went for strawberry instead.

"Mm-hm?" I asked, my tongue winding around the ice cream, working fast before it started melting.

Axel cleared his throat. "I want you to know something." I looked at him expectantly. "I... uh..."

"The almighty Axel, _stammering_?" I teased, trying to get a smile out of him because he had suddenly started looking kind of queasy. "You're not going to tell me that you hate my guts and want me to jump off the clock tower, are you?"

Rather than laughing like, oh I don't know, _a normal person_, Axel grabbed my arm and tugged me as far away from the edge of the tower as he could get me. "Don't _say_ stuff like that. And don't you dare die. I officially forbid you to die."

I grinned. "I wasn't really planning on it." I noticed Axel was still holding my arm and I tugged it gently out of his grip. "So what were you gonna tell me?"

Axel coughed. He finished the last of his ice cream and tossed the stick over his shoulder, clearly not giving a fragment of a fuck. "Well, Roxas... the thing is..." He looked really nervous. "Um... I..."

"Axel, are you okay?" I asked softly, putting a hand on his arm. He looked down at said hand on said arm for a moment before covering it with his own and lacing his fingers through it.

"Yeah, I am." He squeezed my hand hard. "Just a pussy, that's all."

"You're the least pussyish person I know, Axel," I said, stroking his hand with one thumb. "If you don't wanna tell me, it's fine. I'm not going anywhere, you can always tell me some other time, or call me or text me or buy a messenger pigeon..."

Axel laughed. "Thanks, Roxas. You know, I meant what I said earlier. There is no way in fucking hell that I would let your sister die. Not if it would hurt you that much."

I decided not to point out that a) Axel had literally no power over Naminé's life or death, unless there was something he wasn't telling me, and b) he seemed a whole lot more focused on me being sad than he did on Naminé dying.

"Thanks, Axel." I finished my ice cream in silence, my heart pounding in my ears for no reason other than Axel's hand in mine, and then Axel walked me home.

So now he knew where I lived, which was convenient, I suppose, just in case anything happened, but I felt strangely uneasy about the possibility of him following me home.

xxx

Another chapter very soon after the last one, because I loves you all, and because I'm a teensy bit stuck on My sister talks to fire and my brother is gay, so I figured I'd at least upload something. And who knows, maybe I'll be able to get some My sister talks to fire and my brother is gay polished to perfection and uploaded by tomorrow night.

I'm just about to leave for school so I can't really write much, but I love all of you and want you to REVIEW! xoxo


	11. Chapter 11

**Warning: **This right here is a Unicorn of death Fanfiction. For those of you who haven't read my other brilliantly amazing Fanfictions, that basically means that this thing will be filled with swearing, YAOI (dun dun duuun) and the occasional tasteless joke. Consider yourself warned.

**Disclaimer: **It's called Fanfiction because I am a FAN, not the owner of the damned characters.

**Doing Roxas... well, attempting to...**

"So how was it?" Demyx asked me on Monday morning. I hadn't seen him for all of Sunday. I hadn't seen anyone on Sunday. I'd been in shock. Well, sort of in shock. I'd just kind of wafted around my house eating Nutella out of the jar and giggling to myself every now and then, probably looking quite unstable. Actually, was it possible to look unstable if there was no one around to see you?

"It was _amazing,_" I gushed, trying not to sound too happy because Dem looked miserable. "Um... how are you?"

"Haven't slept, like, all weekend." Upon closer inspection I realised that Demyx had dark circles under his eyes and was clutching a styrofoam cup filled with cheap coffee from the cheap coffee place down the street. "But y'know... I'll live."

"What teacher do you have first period today?" I asked, spotting Hayner walking past and feeling a sudden urge to point and laugh at the fact that I had cuddled with Roxas and _he hadn't_.

Demyx just looked at me flatly. "Are you being stupid on purpose or just by accident?"

"Oh shit, it's... you've got Xigbar... shit." I scratched the back of my head. "We can skip it if you want..."

"Nah. I'll do the sensible thing and sit through it."

And that's what he did.

For the entirety of first period, Demyx just sat. He said nothing. He did nothing. He just followed Xigbar around the room with oddly deadened eyes and practically vibrated in his seat from all the caffeine and sleep deprivation. Xigbar mostly ignored him. _Mostly_.

"Demyx, you know the rules about coffee in class," Xigbar said sternly, plucking the nearly-empty-anyway cup from Dem's fingers and turning to stick it in the bin. "You okay? You look sort of pale."

Oh. I hadn't realised that Xigbar was such an oblivious little shit. Had Demyx never bothered explaining why he was so upset?

"'M fine." Demyx slumped forwards slightly in his chair. "Just tired."

"Well... okay, then..." Xigbar turned away, obviously pained by the idea that Demyx was upset.

The lesson trudged on. I texted Roxas, my heart pounding in my ears as I did so: _Hey :) Incredibly bored -_- How're you? -Axel x_

One kiss looks like it could just be a slip of the thumb... right? I couldn't exactly send him a text _without_ any kisses. Maybe he'd just pass it off as me being flamingly gay. Or just friendly. Or madly in love with him and desperate to push him against the wall and fuck him until he screamed my name so loud that Hayner could hear...

Ahem.

"All right, homework on the front desk, line up now to give me your pathetic excuses," Xigbar said in the most bored voice I have ever heard from something other than a robot.

And that's when the single most shocking, earth-shattering, mind-numbing, universe-fucking thing ever happened.

_Demyx handed in his fucking homework_.

The entire class started whispering. Was Demyx in trouble or something? Had his parents finally found out how he was passing all his classes? Did he have a boyfriend now, and so couldn't just go around offering himself to anyone who wanted him? Who knew? ...I knew. I knew that that was Demyx's final "fuck you", his way of telling Xigbar that he was done, that _they_ were done, that he could stop expecting quick favours and start expecting formal, rather well-written essays. It was the only way Demyx could express that things were not happening between himself and Xigbar any more. And you could bet your bottom dollar that this was just the beginning of a series of drab, dry, pointless essays that Xigbar was going to receive, planted coldly on the front desk before Demyx shouldered his way out of the room with his head down and his fists clenched.

"Dem?" I said softly when we were out in the hall. "Dem, that was a really strong thing you just did. Just walking away from it all like that. I'm really proud of you."

He smiled weakly at me. "Thanks, Ax." His hands curled and uncurled, curled and uncurled. "I wanna get laid," he said abruptly. "By someone other than that cunt," he added, jerking a thumb over his shoulder to indicate Xigbar's classroom.

"Luxord?" I suggested, and Demyx shrugged. I understood this to mean that it didn't really matter who, so long as there were no real strings attached, and so long as it wasn't Xigbar.

"How would we go about it, then?" Demyx asked, some of the old light appearing in his eyes now, his mouth curling into an evil smile.

"Luxord's a gambler, right?" Demyx nodded. "C'mon."

I dragged him to just outside Luxord's classroom and started talking in a just-too-loud voice. "So you say you want to learn to play poker, Dem?"

The noise of pen on paper stopped abruptly from inside the room. Luxord had heard the name of his favourite student. We were in business.

"Not just any poker, Axel, _strip_ poker. I'm sick of the guys always beating me – if you'll pardon the accidental pun – and I was wondering if you were any good."

"Nah, not really. But you really do need someone to teach you if you want to stop getting owned all over the place." Pause. "Was that a pun?"

Demyx sniggered. "Oh, yeah. You should've seen them last week, all fucking over me because I don't know how to –"

"I can teach you!" Wait, when the fuck did Luxord get here? "Oh, hi, Axel." I waved in the manner of one who does not give a fuck. "Demyx, you said you wanted to learn to play strip poker?"

"Yeah, if you're interested in... teaching me a few tricks..." Oh God, my stomach was not nearly strong enough for this. I was gonna be sick, I was gonna be sick...

"O-of course." Luxord swallowed hard. "When are you... when're you free?"

Demyx licked his lips slowly, in his element now, toying with someone else's head. "Tonight," he said silkily, "but you know... I'm _flexible_."

Luxord smirked. "I should hope you are, love. You'll need it if _I_'m teaching you how to play strip poker."

Eww.

Demyx's aqua eyes locked onto something above my shoulder. I turned ever-so-subtly – and by that I mean did a fucking pirouette – and saw Xigbar storming up the hall, looking ready to murder.

Uh-oh.

Perhaps that was my cue to leave.

"Um... I'll... I'll see you around, Demyx." I scurried off, ignoring Demyx's sputtered protests (and threats involving a certain blonde, but we all know he wouldn't really) and dove into the guys' bathroom instead.

"So you're telling me..." Was that Sora? "...that Selphie thinks _Kairi_, of all people –"

"Yup." That was probably Riku. Slightly obnoxious, but really kinda okay once you got to know him. "I've tried to talk her out of it, but she's not having any of it. I mean, really, of all the stupid things..."

"On a different note, you know Roxas was at Axel's house on Saturday?" How did Sora know that? Only _I _was supposed to have creepy amounts of information stored away about Roxas's day-to-day life.

Riku snorted. "Bet Hayner isn't happy."

"I don't think Hayner _knows_," Sora whispered in the gayest this-is-so-scandalous voice I'd ever fucking heard. This coming from Roxas's number one stalker.

Riku snorted. "Remind me not to be in the room when Hayner and Axel finally realise that Roxas is leading them both on."

WHAT?

"What d'you mean, Riku?" Sora asked for me.

"I mean, you _know_ who he likes, and it isn't either of them." Riku chuckled. "Poor confused kid."

SHIT. WHAT? SHIT.

**Suddenly, blowjob!**

"Hey." I clung to Hayner's hand, listening to my mom on the other end of the phone. "What's going on with Naminé now?"

"It's simple, Roxas," she said, her voice laced with the thickness of someone who had just finished crying. "She gets the surgery, or she dies."

My mother has always been very blunt.

"Okay. I've got about four thousand munny coming my way really soon..." Assuming Axel was going to give it to me. "...and tomorrow I'll be able to get about ten thousand more..."

"Roxas? Where are you getting all this munny?" Mom sounded worried, and I didn't blame her. She probably thought I was dealing drugs.

"Relax, Mom. I've just been selling some of my old stuff, doing favours for my friends..." Whoring myself out to Seifer and his gang tomorrow, keeping an obviously very lonely kid company under the premise of doing his dishes... "Everything I'm doing is totally legal and will not harm me in any way, shape or form."

"Okay. Good boy. I love you, and Dad loves you too. Be good for Hayner's parents tonight, eat plenty and don't stay up too late." Mom paused for breath. "See you soon, I hope."

"See you soon, Mom. Love you too." Hayner was still holding my hand, sitting next to me on his bed. "Bye."

"Bye, Roxas. We're very proud of you."

"You shouldn't be," I whispered to the dead phone line.

"Roxas?" I looked up at Hayner. "Are you okay?"

I shook my head hard. "I'm really not. Not at all." I sighed. "I can't remember the last time that I was."

Hayner put an arm around me. "You want me to make you feel better?"

I realised just how numb and tired I was. I felt like shit. Maybe Hayner would be able to make me feel... something. Not necessarily better, but just to feel _something_ again would be worth the risk. It wasn't like Hayner had any _emotional_ attachment to me, right? He just wanted my dick, _right_?

"Sure."

That was all the prompting he needed to slide his hands very slowly up my chest and push me back onto the bed, smirking down at me. "You just relax, Roxas, and let me do all the work."

I heard my zip being pulled down. I saw my shirt being unbuttoned. I tasted Hayner on my lips and smelt him on my skin, but I still didn't _feel_ anything. Even when I came into his mouth and he swallowed, I felt _nothing_. It was so weird.

Afterwards, I curled up with my head on Hayner's chest, and we watched harmless cartoons. I realised after about an hour that I was only in my underwear. I just sighed and tugged his duvet over me to stay warm. He leaned down and kissed my cheek softly, and still I felt nothing.

I was suddenly reminded of Saturday, when Axel had managed to quicken my heartbeat and affect... other areas of me, just by cuddling me. Shit. If I fell for Axel I was screwed.

"Roxas? Can you hear that?" I pulled my head up from Hayner's chest and listened out. "It sounds like..."

"Kairi and Selphie," I agreed softly, reaching for a shirt, not caring if it was mine or Hayner's, and pulling my trousers back up. "I should go and..."

"Why would you need to interfere? It's nothing to do with you. Why don't you just stay here with me?"

"Hayner, Kairi is my cousin." Sort of. "And she's your adoptive cousin too." Wait... did that make Hayner and I distantly related? Maybe that was my ticket out of this trainwreck that Hayner seemed to think was some kind of a... relationship? Oh, please, no.

I pushed those horrible thoughts out of my head and snuck down the stairs, the two female voices getting louder and louder the closer I got. "How could you? How the fuck could you?"

"I _didn_'_t_, Selphie, would you please listen?" Kairi screamed. I found them in the dining room, Kairi pink in the face and Selphie tensed tighter than a... very tense thing.

"Girls?" They both glared daggers at me. "Um... what's going on?"

Selphie made a strangled screaming sort of noise and stormed out of the dining room, and I heard the front door open and then slam again. Kairi turned to me. "Selphie is labouring under the sad delusion that I cheated on her," she explained quietly, "just because she found someone else's necklace in my room. I was just borrowing it because it was a nice necklace. But Riku has been making snide remarks and basically being a sneaky little fuck, so now Selphie genuinely believes the rumours over me." Kairi looked utterly dejected. "I can't believe she doesn't trust me..."

There was the noise of the front door being opened very hurriedly and not even closed properly afterwards, and Kairi perked up, probably hoping that it was Selphie.

It wasn't, though. It was Demyx, looking absolutely frantic. "I've got a sort-of-maybe-I-don't-know date tonight, so I'm not gonna be here long, and I was wondering if –" He stopped short. "Roxas, are you wearing Hayner's shirt?"

"Oh... um... yeah. Long story." I chuckled nervously. "Who's your sort-of-maybe-I-don't-know date with, then?" Changing the subject. Good, Roxas, very good.

"Long story," he rebutted. "I was wondering if Axel was here, because he isn't at his house and I wanted to borrow his cologne."

Cologne? Mm. I mean, wait, what? Um... cologne is, like... manly, I guess... you know...

"Haven't seen him. Where else would he be?"

I watched Demyx's face as it went from slightly panicked to very panicked to oh-shit-I'mma-_die_, and he opened his mouth, looking kind of ill.

"Are you okay?" Kairi asked softly, and I nodded my agreement to her question. (Can you agree to a question? Oh, well, you can now.)

"Roxas... does Axel happen to know where you live?"

I nodded slowly. "Why?"

"Uh... where do you live?" he asked me, his entire body very still except for his mouth, which only moved to speak. I didn't like that. It scared me.

"32 Tram Common," I said on instinct. "You don't think that Axel is..."

"No, I don't." Demyx laughed nervously. "I know where he'll be, don't worry. I'll see you around."

And with that, he sprinted back out of the door.

"So, you and Selphie."

Kairi cocked her head at me. "So, you and Hayner. And you and Axel."

I sighed. "You make me sound like a whore. I'm not a whore. I'm just trying not to hurt anyone's feelings."

Kairi nodded. "It's okay. I was in your situation once, you know. Had two friends who both wanted into my pants."

"So what did you do?" I asked eagerly, desperate for some good advice.

"Nothing. Eventually one of them moved and I realised that it didn't hurt to see them go, so I got with Selphie."

Well that didn't help at all.

"Roxas?" Hayner came up behind me and hooked two fingers through my belt loops and pulled me backwards into him. "You okay?"

Stop acting like we're a couple. We are not a couple. Don't make people think that we're a couple. You don't even want us to be a couple... right?

"I'm fine," I lied, noticing that Kairi had an eyebrow raised at Hayner and I. "You wanna go back upstairs?"

I knew that in Hayner's mind, "upstairs" translated to "sex", so it was no surprise when he took hold of my hand and lead me up the stairs.

Oh, good. Let's see how long I can retain my virginity in this mess. We could even place bets. Anything for munny.

xxx

Grr, Unicorn of death is muchos sleepy, and talking in the third person for reasons she doesn't quite understand. I've been awake all night, so...

I don't have much to say about this chapter. I just wanted to update again, especially since I updated My sister talks to fire and my brother is gay (READ IT NOW!) twice in a row without giving you any more A million munny.

Reviews keep me writing. In fact, every review means another plot twist. Or something. I dunno. Love to y'all.


	12. Chapter 12

**Warning: **This right here is a Unicorn of death Fanfiction. For those of you who haven't read my other brilliantly amazing Fanfictions, that basically means that this thing will be filled with swearing, YAOI (dun dun duuun) and the occasional tasteless joke. Consider yourself warned.

**Disclaimer: **It's called Fanfiction because I am a FAN, not the owner of the damned characters.

**Suddenly, Roxas!**

"Axel, what the _fuck_ are you fucking doing?"

I looked up at Demyx, whose face was furious, arms crossed, mouth set, every last word of his body language screaming "You are in SO much shit!" "What does it _look_ like I'm doing?" I asked, toying with the hair pin in my hands.

"It _looks_ a whole lot like you're trying to break into Roxas's house. That is so not cool on so many levels, if he comes home and finds you picking the lock on his back door, or his parents come home, or someone just walks past and sees you, Roxas will never want to speak to you again. He'll think you're an absolute freak –"

"I am an absolute freak." I shrugged. "He's not going to find out, Demyx. You should know by now that I can lie like a fucking rug, and if the worst comes to the worst, I can always come clean about the fact that I like Roxas –"

Demyx made a noise that sounded like he was in severe pain. "It's one thing if you _like_ him, but you've been stalking him for two years now! You have _videotapes_ that you took of him in the fucking shower! How do you expect him to react to that?"

I shrugged again, looking down at the hairpin in my hands. "I would be pretty damn flattered if someone was giving me as much attention as I give Roxas."

Demyx groaned and hit his head on the wall he was leaning against. "Look, I have my thing with Luxord in, like, ten minutes..." He sighed. "I need you to swear to me that you will not break into Roxas's house while I'm gone."

"Fine," I snapped, scowling heavily, "but only so you're not freaking out about me while you're with Lux." My fingers were twisted together in my pocket.

"Good boy, Axel." I scowled even more, taking vindictive pleasure in the knowledge that the second Demyx was gone, I was going to disobey him. "Wish me luck with Luxord."

"You don't need luck, Demyx, you have... _you_." I gestured to _him_, his blonde hair and big greenish eyes and slim body and everything that other people seemed to like. Personally, everything that _I_ liked was summed up in one little blonde, whose house I was currently trying to break into. But hey, that's just me.

"Thanks, Ax, you're the best." Demyx leaned forwards, gave me the quickest, most brotherly hug you've ever seen, and then departed very suddenly. I listened out to check that he wasn't sneaking back to check on me like he did sometimes.

"Right," I whispered to myself, taking out the hairpin again, "you, you stupid fucking lock, you're gonna fucking die."

I was getting really pissed with Roxas's parents and their stupid need to keep burglars out of the house all the damn time. I was just starting to give up hope when –

"Ah!" The lock clicked and I kicked the door open, darted through it and shut it behind me. I looked around. Nice place, clean, small, tidy, more homey than my enormous, desolate house, but lacking the lived-in feel that Dem's house had. It felt a little like being in the house of some people who were on holiday, staying with relatives... which, actually, is where Roxas's parents and Roxas himself were most of the time. I sighed, wishing that Naminé would hurry up and get the fuck better again, so that my Roxas could be happy and I could stop worrying that he was exhausting himself and that he was depressed and everything.

I snuck up the stairs – no idea why I was sneaking, I was all alone in his house (_Roxas's house, oh my God, ROXAS'S FUCKING HOUSE) – _and pushed open the first door I found. Bathroom. I pushed open the next one, hoping for... aha.

"Roxas's room," I breathed, looking around, inhaling the various scents of Roxas – his deodorant, and his detergent, and his toothpaste, and other things that were harder to define – and digesting everything I was seeing. He had a teddy bear. He had cute blue curtains that matched his eyes. He... he had two beds. "One for Naminé," I whispered, walking over to the tidier side of the room, which was clearly his sister's side. I bit my lip. No wonder Roxas kept sleeping round Hayner's house, even though he was putting his virginity on the line. I know I couldn't sleep in a room filled with my dying sister's possessions. That is, if I had a sister. Or any relatives I actually liked, really.

Something suddenly occurred to me. Roxas's bed...

"He sleeps here," I mumbled to myself, "and if he masturbates, I bet here is where he does it." His house was so fucking small, I couldn't think where he'd do it except his room and the bathroom, and since the lock on the bathroom door was broken and you could probably hear literally everything through that flimsy wooden door... Anyway. I needed to stop thinking about Roxas jacking off. I didn't know how much time I had left, or even how I was going to get out of the house if anyone arrived home. I needed to start looking through his stuff.

Ooh, a laptop. A beat-up, old, probably secondhand laptop, but a laptop nonetheless, and probably containing his browser history. It would be interesting to know whether he watched porn, and whether he had Facebook, and –

"Oh my _fuck_," I whispered, scrolling through his browser history. "Why is he emailing _Seifer_?" I clicked through to the emails themselves, but never got a chance to read them, because I heard a key turn in the lock of the front door.

Iamsodead, Iamsodead, sodead, veryverydead... I took a deep breath in, then a deep breath out. I shut down Roxas's laptop, thanking it silently for running so quickly and closing down so quickly, even if it wasn't at all sexy as far as design went. Okay, first to just ascertain who it actually was who had just come into the house...

"I _told _you, Richard, I _told_ you that if we weren't careful then he was going to turn into a – a –"

Roxas's parents, by the sound of it. Well, hopefully they wouldn't come up to Roxas's room. I decided to hide in a cupboard, just for good measure.

"Turn into a what, Jinx?" Jinx. Jinx and Richard. Why would someone with a name like Jinx marry a _Richard_? Not that I was complaining, of course, since these two people were the people responsible for my Roxas being born.

"Into a delinquent! In detentions all over the place, hanging out with the _strangest_ people, and now this!" And now what? I closed my eyes, wondering if "the _strangest_ people" was referring to me. I wouldn't mind that, to be honest. At least it was only strange and not despicable or hideous or anything.

"Jinx, honey, if you would just calm down –" Ooh, big mistake, Richard.

"Calm down? _Calm down_? Our _son_ was behind Moogle Mart partially clothed with three other people, and you're telling me to _calm down_?"

I think I stopped breathing.

Roxas... _three_ other people...

"Well, you said yourself that it was a bit suspicious where he was getting all that munny..." Stop talking, please, it hurts. "Maybe he's –"

"No, Richard, don't even _say_ that." I heard Jinx take a deep breath. "You know what? It's summer. It's warm. Maybe they were all just shirtless because they were too hot."

"That's what I said _an hour ago_!" Richard snapped, and I clutched at my own chest, so relieved to hear an explanation for this. I mean, as explanations go, I have heard better, but I know Roxas would not have a foursome, and I know he would not whore himself out for anyone, not even if it meant saving his little sister, so I don't really know why I was freaking out in the first place. It's not my fault if I get insanely jealous sometimes.

"Okay." I heard Jinx sigh. "Okay, _maybe_ I overreacted, _just_ a touch. How about I make it up to you?" If that means what I think it means I will actually be sick. "We can go and get something to eat and make fun of passers-by just like the old days." Oh, thank fuck.

"All right, then, grab your coat. Text Roxas and tell him where we're going."

Thank you, universe, for loving me so much right now.

As soon as I heard the door slam behind them both, I stumbled out of Roxas's closet, which didn't smell as strongly of Roxas as the rest of the room, and blinked the sunlight into my eyes. I couldn't really afford to take any more chances tonight, so I simply snuck back down the stairs and left via the back door. At least now I knew that I _could_ pick the lock if I so wished, and that Roxas was sharing a lonely little room with Naminé. Maybe I could invite him to stay over at my place sometime.

**Everything is so fucked up**

I sank into my bed at ten o'clock at night, exhausted but still a virgin. That was always a good thing, even though I had come damn close to... well, I didn't want to think too hard about it, to be honest. I didn't want to think about Seifer and his gang at all. I didn't want to think about the five thousand munny they had just given me and then five thousand more they had promised me if I stuck to my promise of doing more than just strip for them next time. I didn't really want to think at all, so I didn't. It was that simple.

"I should call someone," I murmured to myself, "I should call someone and keep myself nice and busy so I don't think about... anything."

I picked up my phone and selected the first thing that was on my contacts list, then pressed the CALL button.

It was only after hearing him that I realised it was Axel.

"Roxas, hey! How are you? What're you up to?"

"I'm fine. How are you?" I decided that that part of the question was the most interesting, because all I was up to was lying like a fucking dead body in bed.

"Eh, I've been worse." That didn't sound good, and I was possessed by a sudden urge to hug Axel via the phoneline. "What are you doing tonight, then?"

"Just lying around, really," I told him, looking up at the ceiling and noting all the cracks and stains. I loved my room. I knew it off by heart by now, and it always smelled the same, looked the same, felt the same. Of course, there was a gaping hole where Naminé used to sleep, but... "You?"

"Same." Axel laughed to himself. "Gosh, our lives are so fucking interesting."

"Yeah, they are. They should make a sitcom about us. Imagine the ratings."

My stomach kind of twisted into a French braid when Axel chuckled on the other end of the phone. "And imagine the preview for the next episode: _Surprise plot twist, Axel gets out of bed!_"

I laughed, surprised by how easy and simple conversation between us was. "You know, Axel, you ain't half bad."

"Thanks. You ain't at _all_ bad." I was glad that this conversation wasn't face-to-face so Axel couldn't see me blushing. "So... anything going on with you and Hayner?"

I swallowed. I could tell Axel, right? Axel wouldn't judge me, right?

"Um... yeah... see... I think he thinks... I don't know, really, it's all a bit weird, but... I think he's under the impression that... um..." I trailed off awkwardly, suddenly reluctant to say it out loud.

"He thinks there's something between you two, and there isn't." Axel sounded oddly pissed off at this. It was nice that he cared, but did he have to care in a way that made me fear for Hayner's safety? "Can't you just tell him to fuck off?"

"He's my best friend, Axel," I told him, looking over at Naminé's side of the room and then quickly looking away because the pain was unbearable. "How would you react if Demyx was doing what Hayner is doing? You wouldn't just ditch him, right?"

"True, but..." Axel sighed. "I just don't like the idea of you being forced into stuff that you don't want to do."

If he only knew...

"It's really nice that you care, Axel," I said softly, smiling to myself because even though the situation was incredibly fucked up, Axel was giving me the weirdest sensation in the pit of my stomach... "I mean, not a lot of people would even bother with –"

"Don't mention it," Axel said swiftly, cutting me off midsentence.

"I mean it, though. I'm really grateful for –"

"You don't need to be grateful." He was being firm, and I admit I really quite liked it. "I'm sure you can find a way to repay me someday, anyway."

I bit my lip. He didn't mean it the way I wanted – I mean, the way that the sick, skewed part of my mind was telling me that he meant it. He just meant that someday I could return the favour of listening to utter bullshit about Hayner and so on.

"Axel?"

"Mm?"

I shut my eyes tight, crossed my fingers, and hoped to high hell that I could get the words in the right order, at least. "I really like you."

There was a long silence in which it sounded a little bit like Axel was trying not to hyperventilate. I couldn't tell whether this was a good thing or a bad thing. "Um... I..."

"I mean, if you don't –"

"NO! Roxas!" I felt sick to the pit of my stomach in the very best way, clinging to the corner of my duvet like it was a life raft and begging whoever was up there in the sky to just let me have my way. "I... I really like you too."

I couldn't tell whether we were talking about friendship or something else here, but I felt like a fucking bird right then, soaring high above the heads of all the mundane, sad people below me, because _Axel liked me too_.

"Are we... are we talking about the same thing here?" I asked tentatively, because not knowing was starting to drive me insane.

"Depends on what you're talking about." How did he always have so much composure? And poise?

"I'm talking about liking you." Keep it ambiguous until you know what _he_'s talking about.

Axel chuckled. Mm, that was one nice chuckle. Wait, what? "So am I. Which way do you like me, Roxas?"

"Which way do you like _me_?" I asked, chewing on my thumbnail as was my habit.  
>"I asked you first."<p>

I took a deep breath. "I don't know. Everything is really weird for me at the moment, and I don't really want to spend ages trying to figure out what's going on in my head. I just know that talking to you... well... it makes me happy." And gives me butterflies, but you don't really need to know that. "Now your answer?"

"Nice to know I make you happy, Roxas." He was teasing me gently, knowing that I was a little fragile. "I guess... I don't know, really. I really enjoy spending time with you."

I think Axel was really pretty lonely. His house was so big and felt so empty, I knew that. Maybe he needed me.

"Axel? Can I ask you something?" I asked quietly.

"Sure thing, Roxas."

"Are you ever... do you ever feel... lonely? Because I know that you're living in an enormous house all by yourself..."

Axel "hmm"ed. "Not _all_ by myself... my parents show up every couple weeks..."

"No wonder you're always acting up in class," I muttered, not really intending for Axel to hear me. "Listen... Axel... if you ever need me, you can call me, okay? Or come over to my place or whatever. I don't really mind. But just... remember... I'm here for you, all right?"

I listened to the sweet, pure, cool silence. I didn't even bother asking whether Axel was still there. I could hear him clicking a pen.

"I'll remember that. And remember, I'm here for you too." I smiled to myself, wishing I was with Axel so that maybe he could see how much happier I was when I was talking to him. "Listen, Roxas, you sound really tired..."

"Am not," I protested, but, much to my displeasure, I yawned halfway through the sentence. Axel laughed. "Okay, okay. I'll go to bed. See you in school tomorrow."

"Bye, Roxas," Axel said quietly.

"Bye, Axel." I hung up. Why did I call Axel again?

Oh, well. It had been a fun conversation, at any rate. Now, just to _sleep_...

xxx

It's a little short, but hey, a chapter is a chapter, right?

I just wanted to take a moment to thank every single person who is reading this fic, whether or not you're reviewing. I love seeing my story stats getting higher. I love receiving emails saying "_ has added your story to their story alert subscription". I love reviews the most because they make me feel like I have tonnes of friends. But I am really grateful to y'all, and I figured I'd just let you know.

By the way, pretty pretty please have a look at some of my other fanfics? You really will enjoy My sister talks to fire and my brother is gay, and I recently started a new story called The Babysitter which is mostly XigDem (well, Braig x Myde in the beginning, but...) that you guys should enjoy. Please just read a chapter or two and see what you think? Thank yous in advance :3

REVIEW PLZ K THX BAI.


	13. Chapter 13

**Warning: **This right here is a Unicorn of death Fanfiction. For those of you who haven't read my other brilliantly amazing Fanfictions, that basically means that this thing will be filled with swearing, YAOI (dun dun duuun) and the occasional tasteless joke. Consider yourself warned.

**Disclaimer: **It's called Fanfiction because I am a FAN, not the owner of the damned characters.

**Roxas is so fucked up**

I woke up tangled in my sheets with a photo of Roxas in my left hand. Oh. I had clearly been more tired than I had thought last night. I got out of bed, had a shower, and did my hair before leaving the house to get the bus to school. It was just starting to rain as I bought my bus ticket and found a seat, receiving more than one odd look because I was all cocky and shit.

The bus pulled up on Demyx's street and three of his lot climbed on – Charlotte, his cousin, Justin, one of his younger stepbrothers, and Lindsey, his half-sister. Lindsey and Charlotte both nodded at me, having seen me around Dem's house all the time, and Justin deliberately avoided my eyes, having called me a "fucking weird-ass pedo" after overhearing a conversation about Roxas a couple of weeks ago. I couldn't care less, to be honest. At least the kid had the balls to tell me what he thought.

I got to school ten minutes before first period, and decided to find either Demyx or Roxas. Preferably Demyx, because after Roxas's awkward little "I like you" thing last night, I don't think I could face him without pinning him to a wall and having my way with his cute little body. God, just _thinking_ about it...

"Hey, Axel." I turned to see Demyx grinning like a Halloween pumpkin at me. Good old Demyx, always around to be not sexy when I was trying to think about sexy people. "Guess what?"  
>"You got laid last night?" I guessed, remembering that he'd had his totally-not-date with Luxord yesterday.<p>

He grinned even wider. "I had a _threesome_ last night, Axel!" he whispered, glancing around the surprisingly empty hall like he was worried it might be bugged. "Luxord and Xigbar and me, we were –"

"I thought you weren't talking to Xigbar because of that tattoo?" I muttered, more concerned about stopping Demyx from giving me details about his threesome than I was about whether Xigbar was still with Natalie or not. I could hear footsteps approaching and gave him a look, and he nodded, like "I know I have to be quiet, shut up."

"Yeah, well, they've finally split up now. He and Luxord were –"

"Be quiet a second." We both listened to the people just around the corner, the footsteps having stopped now. "Is that Roxas?"

"Sounds like it, yeah... and Seifer," Demyx whispered, shuffling closer to where Roxas and Seifer must have been.

"Look, okay, Seifer, just... okay, I'm free on Thursday night, so – ah!" There was the sound of flesh on flesh and then Roxas whimpering. Oh, _fuck_ no. "That hurt."

"That was the _point_, Roxas." I went to walk over to them but found something restraining me. _Demyx_. That dick, why wouldn't he let me pound the shit out of Seifer? "Now, I'll ask you again, _what about tonight_?"

"Ow! Axel, you dick, I'm bleeding!" I paid no attention to Demyx, whose nose was now gushing blood, and went straight for where Seifer had Roxas backed up against a wall. "Axel, you are such an idiot."

"Um, Axel?" Roxas was looking up at me with frightened blue eyes. Seifer whirled around to face me, clearly pissed off at being interrupted.

"Right," I snarled, filled with the purest white rage. "You can get the _fuck_ away from Roxas, for a start, and then maybe I'll leave your head on your shoulders long enough for you to beg his forgiveness."

Of course that fucking douchenozzle was cocky enough to fold his arms and scowl at me. "What the fuck is your problem, _Axel_?"

In the two seconds that Seifer's attention was elsewhere, Roxas had darted away from him and was suddenly behind me, clinging to Demyx's left arm like he was actually an effective shield. (He wasn't, skinny little fuck that he is.) "My _problem_ is that you're being a dick to Roxas." I took a step closer to Seifer, suddenly glad that I was unnaturally tall because I could hardly have menaced him if I was only five foot five. "How many seconds do you want to run?"

Credit where credit is due, Seifer stood his ground. "Oh, you're picking a fight with me?"

Fucking arrogant bastard, glaring at me after being a bitch to _my_ Roxas... "No, I'm not. I'm going to brutally murder you and your family will be lucky if they can scrape a vial of your blood off the walls. I'm going to destroy every last shred of your pathetic little body and you are going to _feel_ every moment of agony, and you deserve it all. You understand that?"

Seifer regarded me with raised eyebrows, actually looking kinda frightened. To be honest I didn't give a shit whether or not he was frightened, so long as he stayed away from Roxas. "Or I could just walk away and we could forget this ever happened?"

"Yeah, _right_." I turned to the two blondes standing behind me, one of them absolutely gorgeous and trembling with fear, and the other kind of annoying-looking and more or less resigned to my stupidity by now. "Do me a favour, Dem, get Roxas out of here. I'll see you in second period."

The bell went for the beginning of first, and I pushed Seifer against the wall, raising a fist. "Axel, c'mon, man, we don't have to –"

"Not so tough without your pets Fuu and Rai, are you, dickwad?" I growled. "Any last words?"

"Axel." _Roxas_. "Axel, let him go."

Before I could even think, I obeyed that gorgeous voice, just released him and stepped away. He gasped, and I realised that I may have been restricting his oxygen intake a little. "Roxas?"

"Come on, Axel, you need to get to first period. What do you have now?"

"History." I looked back at Seifer. The urge to hurt him was just so damn _strong_... "But..."

"No buts." Not even yours? Naked? Or even just clothed? "Come on, I'll walk you there, I've got Chemistry so it doesn't matter if I'm late."

"_Roxas_," I whined, "I wanna murder Seifer!"

He chuckled, looking at Seifer who was cowering against a wall. "I would advise you get out of here, dickwad." Then Roxas grabbed my hand – _oh fuck_ – and grinned at me. "No murder for you, Axel. Come on, let's get you to History."

He's holding my hand oh my God shit his hand is beautiful and oh shit I want his hands in _places_ oh fuck...

"So what's your problem with Seifer?" he asked, dropping my hand once he had pulled me out of the corridor in which I had tried to murder that dickwad.

"He was being a dick to you," I said simply, reaching out and grabbing his hand again, ignoring the look he gave me. If he brought it up I would just say that I'm really cuddly or some shit. "What was even going on?"

Roxas shrugged, bringing my attention to his lean, cute little shoulders. "Just... stuff. Long story. Fuck, I'm tired."

I could spot a change of subject when I saw one, but I let it go, focusing instead on the fact that my poor baby Roxas was tired. "Aww, how come? You sounded pretty tired last night on the phone..."

"Yeah, I just don't sleep well at the moment. It's lonely in my room, you know, without my sister." I had seen the interior of his room, and I knew what he meant. "I'll be okay, don't worry."

"If you're lonely, you should come round my place." I'll fuck the loneliness out of you, and then I'll hold you afterwards, we can sleep in the same bed and I can watch you sleep... ahem. I'm not a creep or anything, what are you on about? "My parents are never around, so I'm lonely as hell sometimes too."

Roxas suddenly came to a halt and I realised we were outside the History classroom. "Thanks, Axel. You know... it's weird... I've never known anyone as insane as you. You're amazing." I'm pretty sure that that's a complement, or at least not an insult. "Thanks for, you know, saving me from Seifer and everything..."

"It's okay. He's a dickwad at the best of times, and seeing him upsetting you..." I still fully intended to hurt Seifer so badly that he could never smile again, but I was going to have to make sure that Roxas didn't find out about it. "Anyway, I'd better get to class."

"See you." Roxas slipped his arms around my waist, his beautiful, beautiful arms around my unworthy waist, hugged me very briefly, and then walked off, waving over his shoulder. My eyes were pulled to his ass, as usual, and I couldn't seem to think straight. (I haven't thought straight since the day I was born, being gay and all, but you know what I mean.) Roxas had just hugged me... _Roxas_ had just...

_Hey_, whispered a voice in the back of my head, _remember what you overheard Riku telling Sora? He's leading you on, you and Hayner_...

"Oh, shut up," I whispered to the voice in my head, ignoring the fact that replying to voices nobody else can hear does not always give the best impression, but hey, no one was watching.

_Roxas wouldn't do that to me..._

_...would he?_

**Things will get better, right?**

_Naminé is having a bad day, best if you don't visit her tonight. Stay with a friend if you can, have fun and do all your homework, and don't worry too much about your sister. We both love you very much, Roxas, okay? -Dad_

I glanced up at Luxord, but he was too busy explaining pronouns to Demyx in great detail to notice anything that anybody else was doing. _Okay. Love you guys too. Don't worry about me, I can take care of myself. -Roxas_

"Hey, Rox, you all right?" Pence was looking at me worriedly, his arm around the back of Olette's chair casually in a way that suggested he was either living deep within the friendzone, or he'd been married to Olette for the past three years. To be honest I wouldn't be surprised by either of those.

"Yeah, 'm fine," I muttered, looking down at the floor and trying to ignore the stickiness of my throat. "Just... stuff. My sister, you know..."

And Axel being weird and Seifer hitting me because I wouldn't fuck him and Rai and Fuu, and waking up to an empty bed on the other side of the room every morning and...

"Okay. We're here if you need us, right?" I nodded, knowing that I was supposed to nod here. "Just... don't freak out about anything. Things get better by themselves if you let them."

I nodded again, barely hearing him.

"Hey, guys, look!" Olette whispered, pointing to the corner of the room. Kairi and Selphie always sat together, and Luxord had refused to let them switch seats "just because of a little lovers' tiff", so they had spent most of this period sulking at each other. But now they were both laughing, and as Pence, Olette and I watched, Selphie leaned in and kissed Kairi lightly on the side of the head.

"Aww," Pence said softly. "You see, Roxas? Everything gets better with time."

There is a difference between an adorable couple and a seriously ill younger sister, but hey, optimism is still optimism if it isn't all that logical.

Eventually the bell rang, and I had spent a productive lesson colouring my fingernails in with green highlighter while Luxord and Demyx flirted so openly that everyone wanted to crawl under their desk and die. I crammed my stuff back into my bag and swung the strap over my shoulder, heading off to Spanish to learn Spanish. Except we wouldn't learn Spanish, we would watch poorly dubbed movies and Demyx would flirt with Zexion. It was nearly the Christmas holidays, and by nearly I mean we still had two fucking weeks of school left, but Zexion always stopped teaching us pretty early in the term because he was a shitty teacher and he hated everyone. Well, everyone except Demyx, but then I think it's physically impossible to hate Demyx, so...

"Hello, there." Oh, because my day was totally lacking in annoying blonde pricks.

"Hi, Hayner," I said tiredly, cringing slightly when Zexion flipped the lights off and closed the blinds so we could watch the movie. "I think Olette wanted to sit by me –"

"It's okay, Rox, I'll sit with Selphie, I need to catch up with her anyway." Ah, fuck.

Hayner slipped into the seat next to me and got settled, his leg brushing against mine far more than was strictly necessary. "So, Roxas..."

"I'm exhausted," I said shortly. "Like, really fucking exhausted."

"Aww, babe." If he ever calls me babe again I will honestly throw myself off something tall and lethal. "You can sleep now if you want, just put your head on my shoulder..."

His shoulders were so fucking bony, but I was too tired and too miserable to bother finding somewhere better to sleep. "Thanks, bro."

Hayner snorted. ""Bro", yeah, right." His arm wound its way around my waist tentacle-style and held me firmly in place. "Just go to sleep, okay, Roxas?"

"Mm-hm." I closed my eyes and let the angry Spanish lady's voice send me to sleep.

One lesson later, in which all I had learned was that Hayner had no qualms about groping me in my sleep, I dashed off to lunch before Hayner tried anything more than just letting his hands wander. I was halfway through a sandwich when the cafeteria was overtaken by whispers about a fight outside. Well, I had to go and see this, because of course I really cared about two randomers being dicks to each other.

"Hey, Roxas, did you hear?" Pence was walking past, with Olette as always, clutching a doughnut in his left hand because, well, it's Pence. "Apparently Axel's in the nurse's office with three broken bones and –"

I was on my way to the nurse's office before Pence could even finish his sentence.

"Axel!" His face was a bloodied mess and he was cradling one hand with the other, but when he saw me he actually tried to smile. "You idiot, what did you do?"

"Seifer's worse than me, they've just taken him to hospital." There was a note of pride in his voice that was sort of chilling. "I don't think he realised that I meant it when I said I was going to break his entire face."

"_Why_? Axel, you idiot..."

He shrugged, then winced like perhaps shrugging was a bad idea considering he had been kicked all over the place by the look of things. "He was a dick to you, remember?"

"Well, yeah, but why do you even care?" The nurse came out of her office with three ice packs and a handful of painkillers, as well as a small glass of water to take the tablets with and a cast thing for his hand, and started fussing over him. "Did you hate Seifer already or something?"

"Nah, but he was just... I don't know. I don't wanna see you upset, and am I right in thinking he hit you?" Axel hissed in pain when the nurse pushed his wrist into the cast thing. "He said that he hit you."

"Well... yeah..." I reached up and touched the patch of my cheek that was still red from where he'd hit me. "It wasn't bad or anything, though. It doesn't even hurt now." Unless I poke it, but hey. "And anyway, you shouldn't be getting into fights at all, regardless of whether or not Seifer hurt me."

Axel gave me a grin that was surprisingly charming considering his teeth were pink with blood and his left eye was swollen and purple. "So you're saying that you wish I cared less about you?" _Not at all, but_... "That's fine. I guess you don't want to come over to mine any time soon, either." He stuck all three tablets into his mouth and downed the entire cup of water in one mouthful.

"Well, yeah, but I don't want you getting hurt because I'm too much of a pussy to –"

"Shut up. You're not a pussy, okay? I'm not having you badmouthing yourself." He looked pissed now. "You need to realise how special you are, Roxas."

"Yeah, _special_. Let's call it that." I snorted. "I don't even have enough of a spine to get rid of Hayner, let alone –"  
>"<em>Stop it<em>." I sighed and sat down next to Axel, who put his good hand on my arm. "You're amazing, Roxas. Don't forget that."

"Oh, shut up." I grinned at the floor, feeling Axel's eyes on my face. "Can... can I come to your place some time? Tonight, maybe?" Silence. "It's just that my little sister isn't all that well at the moment and my dad said it would be a good idea if I just stayed at a friend's place tonight, I think he's worried I'm gonna do something stupid, and I figured I'd ask you because of what you said this morning, and I mean, don't worry if you can't have me, I can go to Hayner's or something, but it's just, I'd like to go to your place and get to know you a little better, but you know, if you don't want to then –"  
>"Roxas." I looked up at Axel, thankful to be saved from my pathetic girly rambling. "I would be ecstatic if you stayed at my place tonight."<p>

"Thanks," I said softly. "Um... it's, like, my lunch hour now, so if you want me to stay here with you, and if you need a hand with any of those ice packs or anything..."  
>"Actually, I need one up on my chest, can you give me a hand taking my shirt off?" I turned pink, the same pink as the free gifts that come in magazines for girls under the age of twelve. "Don't look like that, I don't bite."<p>

Oh, my God. I think the universe is just pointing and laughing at me right now.

Still, things can only get better from here, I guess.

xxx

I'm updating at, like, half two in the morning, because everything's really shitty for me at the moment. I've had an awful day and done a couple of things I now really regret, my head is killing me and I cannot sleep to save my life, and I really crave chocolate chip cookies.

Just as a general question, how do y'all feel about Selphie and Kairi as a pairing? It had never even occurred to me until I was browsing AkuRoku fanfiction and encountered it, to be honest. I think it really works, to be honest. But that's just me. Review now because reviews make me smile, and fuck knows I'm gonna need that over the next few days. Loves to you all.


	14. Chapter 14

**Warning: **This right here is a Unicorn of death Fanfiction. For those of you who haven't read my other brilliantly amazing Fanfictions, that basically means that this thing will be filled with swearing, YAOI (dun dun duuun) and the occasional tasteless joke. Consider yourself warned.

**Disclaimer: **It's called Fanfiction because I am a FAN, not the owner of the damned characters.

**Roxas will get better, right?**

"Demyx, Demyx, Demyx, oh my _God_, oh my _God_, Demyx, oh my _God_..."

"Axel, for fuck's sake, either tell me what happened at the nurse's office or _shut the fuck up_," Demyx snapped, drumming his notebook with a pen. He was not having the best of days, having been punched in the face by me (totally by accident, but I don't think it mattered to him whether I meant it or not; all he cared about was the fact that his pretty little nose was now bruised and he had dried blood on his shirt. Then there was the fact that Xigbar had now ditched Natalie, which you'd think would be a good thing, but apparently not. Dem was worried that he was just the rebound and actually Xigbar was still hung up on the girl whose name was permanently engraved on his skin, and also, apparently Xigbar was a whole lot more grabby now that he was properly single. And by grabby, I mean that he had his hands all over Demyx whenever nobody was looking. Again, you'd think that was a good thing, but apparently not, because... well, I don't know. I zoned out for that part of Demyx's bitching and whining.

"But Dem, I can't breathe, Dem, oh my _God_..."

"You say "Oh my God" one more _fucking_ time, and you will actually meet God." I pouted at Demyx, but I'm not cute or innocent enough to pout. "Now, either spit it out, or go sit next to Selphie and Kairi, because I'm sick of your stupid incoherent babbling."

"Okay." I took a deep breath. "Okay. Well. He came in, just to see me, which was amazing enough, you know? He just looked like this little angel, all shy and quiet and –"

"Axel, I don't wanna hear you fangasming about Roxas, okay? Just tell me what happened."

"I'm _getting to that part_," I hissed, taking another deep breath and thanking the powers that be for giving us such an incompetent French teacher. "Basically, he told me that I was an idiot for getting hurt because of him, but I mean, seriously, what else was I going to do? I couldn't very well let Seifer swan off thinking it was okay to hurt my Roxas. But anyway. And basically, he asked if he could stay at my place tonight! And now I'm freaking out, like, what if he finds those photos of himself? And what if –"

"Axel." I realised that that was about the fourth time that Demyx had said my name and stopped talking abruptly, looking down at my Converse. "You will be _fine_. Just don't jump his bones and you should be okay. He's a nice kid, he won't laugh at you for getting tongue-tied or any of the girly shit you do in his presence. And as for those photos, well, you should get rid of them, anyway, really, because it's not exactly healthy to –"

"No way am I getting rid of those! Don't you realise how much hard work it took me to get them in the first place? It's the closest I'll get to the real thing for a long while, and I need something to tide me over in case I _do_ just jump his bones and then..."

Demyx frowned at me. "You know, one day he will actually realise just how much of a creepy stalker you are." I glanced at the clock. Ten more minutes until the bell went... "Do me a favour and wait outside Xigbar's classroom for me? I just need to talk to him for literally five minutes, and –"

"Fine, but if it starts sounding too gross I'm going to ditch you and actually be on time for Biology for a change." I paused. "How come you and I never get detentions from Marluxia?"

"He doesn't like taller kids," Demyx said with a shrug, "and I think we're a bit old for his taste. It's a shame, really, I've always wondered whether he's a seme or an uke –"

"_Stop _it, you sick little fuck!" I protested, covering my eyes. Demyx just laughed evilly and went back to drumming on his notebook, not nearly as aggressively this time. "You're so horrible to me," I mumbled.

"Fine, then I guess I won't lend you my hair gel again. And you can forget about Henna doing your make-up for you, because I'll tell her that she's not allowed to talk to you."

"Don't bring Henna into this, Dem. Next thing you'll be using Mr Bunny as a shield from nuclear explosives." We continued to banter back and forth for a while, until the lesson ended and we detoured to Xigbar's classroom, Demyx going inside (of the _classroom_, before you try and twist that into a sex joke) and me waiting just by the door, keeping an ear out in case things got ugly. Not that I was being pessimistic or anything, it's just that if I don't look after that ditzy blonde, I don't think that anybody will.

"Hey, Demyx! How are you? You look _great_." Oh, fuck, _why_ did I agree to come and wait outside the room?

"I'm great, Xigbar, how are you? You look pretty good yourself." There was a rather suspicious silence in which I like to think that they were shaking hands in a friendly manner.

"I'm brilliant. Um... don't you have, like, a lesson now? Not that I'm complaining or anything, it's just that I wouldn't want you getting yourself into trouble..."

Demyx chuckled darkly. "I think I'm pretty capable of getting myself out of trouble, Xigbar. I would've been thrown out of school long before now if it weren't for my... my _social skills_, shall we say." Ew, that's what we shall say. We shall say ew.

"Good to know, I guess. I'd prefer it if you used those skills of yours exclusively on me... although I suppose –"

"It's gone!" Wait, what? I mean, Demyx's attention span isn't the greatest, but that was really random. "Where'd it go?"

"Where'd what go?" Xigbar asked, sounding as confused as I was.

"Your tattoo! The one that said Natalie on it! Where'd it go, Xigbar?" The way Demyx said Xigbar's name, I think that Xigbar was going to struggle to lie to him. Or tell the truth. Or form any coherent sentence that didn't make me want to be sick.

"Yeah, about that..." Xigbar sounded rather awkward. "It... um... it wasn't a real tattoo."

Someone needs to give Xigbar a medal for being an ultimate troll. After they've given him a decent smack upside the head for upsetting Demyx unnecessarily.

"What... what d'you... so it was just a temporary tattoo?" Demyx sounded dumbstruck, and I couldn't really blame him. "So you and Natalie... you weren't as serious as you made out?"

Xigbar laughed nervously. "Here's the thing, Demyx... Natalie and I... we weren't really... well, um..."

"Spit it out. I promise I won't be mad."

"Well..." Xigbar tried again, "well, see, Natalie, she's... she isn't real."

"She _what_?" Demyx demanded, sounding not _mad_, but not pleased either.

"Yeah, I, um, I made her up. To make you jealous. So that you would want to prove that you're better than her – so I could finally get into your pants."

There was a long silence, and I had to wonder whether I should go in and check that Demyx was okay. Last thing I needed was to arrive ten minutes late to Biology with Demyx in tears. Everyone would assume that I'd just beaten him up or some shit.

"That's the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for me!" Demyx squeaked. There was a really sickening kissing noise, and then the door was thrown open. "I have to get to Bio, I'll see you after school!"

"Bye Demyx," Xigbar called, sounding rather hazy and confused. I couldn't blame him. He had just got squealed at and kissed for basically lying his ass off. I would be fucking confused, that's for sure. Luckily Roxas was rather more sensible than Demyx. There again, Fireman Sam is more sensible than Demyx.

"I heard everything, you really don't need to gush about Xigbar, and if you do, I'll start gushing about Roxas."

Demyx grinned. "I've never been so happy, Axel. He's all mine! Natalie is non-existent!"

"Yeah, he's all yours... but are you all his?" Demyx opened his mouth to argue, but I held up a finger to stop him. "Think about it. Think about how you're always messing around with Luxord, flirting with Zexion and Xemnas. Do you intend to stop that, now you know about Natalie?"

Demyx cringed visibly as we turned into the corridor that our Biology classroom was in. "But then I'll fail this grade _again_..." he whined. I just shook my head.

"It's your life, Demyx. All I can do is help pick up the pieces when you break it."

"But you do that so well."

**When things get tough...**

"You wanna come to my place tonight, Roxas?" asked Hayner on the way out of Geography, smoothing his hair back as he spoke like he thought I cared what his hair looked like.

"I'm really sorry, Hayner, I've got plans."

He squinted at me, clearly not sure whether or not to believe me. I couldn't blame him. "What plans?"

Too tired to make up a decent lie, I just told him the truth: "I'm going to Axel's place."

"Oh." Hayner stopped short, just by my locker. "Um... why?"

"Well, I dunno if you heard, but he kind of got his ass handed to him by Seifer earlier today because of me. And he's a pretty nice guy, and he seems kinda lonely, and I know how that feels, so I figured I'd just keep him company, you know? Talk about the guy he likes and the guy I like and so on."

Hayner frowned. "Who do you like, then?"

"Um... I'm not telling. I haven't told Axel or Naminé or Olette or Pence or anyone. Wouldn't want it getting out, you know?"

Hayner smirked. Probably assumed it was him, the arrogant bastard. Oh, well. I just needed to find a way out of this conversation. "Okay, Roxas, I understand. You two have fun at your little gay sleepover. If you get bored of him, give me a call. I'd be happy to keep you entertained."

You creepy, creepy fuck.

"I'll bear that in mind," I told him out loud, taking care not to actually speak my mind in front of him. "I'd better get going, I said that I would meet Axel by the front gates so we could walk to his place. See you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow, Rox." I felt his hand on my ass as I went but didn't say anything because why would I be stupid enough to say anything? It would probably just encourage him. To be honest I was kind of surprised that he hadn't backed off after giving me a handjob and a blowjob the other day. You'd think that that would be enough for a guy. But no, I think he was holding onto the hope that he could got the whole way with me. And if Seifer and his gang got their way, Hayner wouldn't even be my first.

And then there was Axel, but he was about five miles out of my league and liked someone else, so I doubt that that was ever going to happen. Anyway, those red spikes could kill a guy. Not that I ever thought about it in great detail.

I slipped between people, ducked under taller people and dodged around shorter people, spilled out onto the front steps with the rest of the school population, and wove my way to the front gates, where Axel stood, talking to Demyx. Of course it was Demyx, it was always Demyx.

"I just can't believe it, Ax! I just – oh my God, it's just so _sweet_ of him!"

"And then you tell me off for babbling about – Roxas! Hey! Good to see you!" I smiled and waved, and Demyx waved peppily back, but Axel stopped. "You okay there? You look a little pale."

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said casually, inwardly wondering how pale I looked and whether he could tell that I felt like shit. "You wanna get going, or...?"

"Yeah, c'mon. Bye, Demyx, say hi to Henna for me!" Axel took hold of my wrist and began guiding me out of the school gates, just in case I had had a sudden blonde moment and forgotten how to walk through gates on my own. I was tired, not stupid, thanks.

"Who's Henna?" I asked, looking around at the damp roads and the sun glistening off them. Nice that the rain had stopped just as we were leaving school. That was really convenient. "Demyx's little sister. Well, he has rather a few of them. But Henna is one of the littlest, the one who always carries around Mr Bunny, and she always helps Dem do his make-up and give me advice about the guy I like. I promised her I'd tell him I like him soon, but you know, I just kind of get tongue-tied and I end up just changing the subject completely, know what I mean?"

"Yeah, I know." I didn't really know. I'd never had to tell someone that I liked them – usually I was just trying to get creeps to leave me the fuck alone. "You know, you never did tell me who it is that you like."

Axel grinned. "You wouldn't know him. And you definitely wouldn't expect me to like him, of all people. But... I dunno. It's weird, but I just can't ever stop thinking about him, dreaming about him, you know..."

"Sounds like you've really got it bad," I teased, poking him in the side. He... _giggled_? It sure sounded like a giggle. "Hey, are you ticklish?"

"N-no..."

"You're a shit liar, Axel," I told him as we emerged onto the street that held Axel's house. "I'm really ticklish too. I won't get you if you don't get me, deal?"

"Deal." Axel grinned at me, green eyes glittering in the just-appeared sunlight. "So, you hungry?"

I shrugged. "A little." In truth I was absolutely ravenous, but I didn't really want to tell Axel that. "You need a hand or anything?" I asked, watching him fumble with the keys because his hand was still mashed up from his encounter with Seifer earlier.

"Nah, I'm fine – shit!" He had just tried pushing the door with his shoulder and was now mouthing swearwords that I didn't even know existed. "Um. Yeah, that was really manly of me, wasn't it?"

"Don't worry about it, I'm a complete pussy sometimes, you have no –"

"For fuck's sake, stop doing that!" I blinked, mildly surprised. "You have _got_ to stop talking yourself down like that, Roxas. It drives me nuts. You're really amazing, fucking well act like it." He lead me into the kitchen and opened the fridge. "You want anything to drink?"

"Um... you got any orange juice?" Gotta love orange juice. Safe, healthy and available in most people's houses.

Axel nodded, got out a carton of orange juice out with his good hand and then shut the fridge door with his elbow, not swearing as much this time. "Do me a favour and grab two glasses from up there?" he asked, pointing to an open cupboard _way_ above my head. I reached up, feeling my shirt starting to sneak up my stomach, and went pink. Worse still, I could see Axel staring at me out of the corner of my eye. He was probably looking at how pale and untoned I was.

The doorbell rang just as I got my hands on two glasses and set them down on the counter. Axel went to get it and I poured two ample servings of juice before putting the carton back into the fridge.

I could hear sobbing from the front hall. Hm, that wasn't good. I decided to go and have a look and see if Axel needed any help with whoever had been at his door. "Demyx, c'mon, man, breathe... tell me what's wrong, Dem, please?"

Demyx made a horrible sort of keening noise, burying his face in his own hands. "Henna... she's..."

"What? Henna? What's up with her?"

"She's ill." Demyx started half-sobbing, half-coughing, and clinging onto Axel's wrist. "In... hospital... and..."

"Well, if she's in hospital, they'll be fixing her, right?"Axel patted Demyx on the shoulder awkwardly and I started to wonder why I had ever thought they could be a couple. They weren't even "just friends", more like brothers. "Come on, Dem, how bad can it –"

"She's got... she has..." Demyx inhaled, and you could practically hear his lungs rattling against the inside of his ribcage. "She has what his sister has," he said, pointing at me almost accusingly.

"But that can be fixed, Roxas is saving up munny for Naminé's surgery, right?" Axel asked desperately. I swallowed hard, hating myself for the news I was gonna have to deliver.

"The thing is... it depends on how old she is, and how big she is, and how early they caught the disease, and... it's a really rare disease, but it's starting to spread and nobody really knows quite why, and the thing is... they'll be able to fix Naminé, if I get the munny, because she's big enough now that her organs are sort of more spaced out and bigger, so it's easier for the doctors to see what they're doing..."

"But Henna's tiny," Demyx breathed. "Shit... I don't... don't want her to..."

"She won't," Axel said firmly. "They'll fix her, Demyx. She's _Henna_, for fuck's sake, she can't _die_." He said it as it if were the most preposterous thing he'd ever heard, like Henna was as likely to die as a pet rock.

"Can I stay here tonight? I don't think I can stay in that house knowing that Henna isn't in her room."

"I know the feeling," I muttered, which for some reason set Demyx off into another flood of tears. Shit.

"It'll be all right, Demyx, don't you worry," Axel said softly, putting an arm around his shoulders and steering him into the kitchen. "Take some deep breaths."

I couldn't even find it within me to be jealous of Demyx, because I knew exactly how he felt.

xxx

I got this review that basically complained about how I always beg for reviews but then never reply to them. I already explained this on another fic, so I'mma just copy/paste the author's note from there to here. Apologies if you've already seen it.

I read my reviews over and over again. Every time I am close to doing something stupid, every time I'm miserable, every time I'm angry, I'll read my reviews. And they cheer me up a lot. And I really enjoy writing and getting feedback for my writing. But the last thing I want is for it to become a chore to write and to reply to every review, so I'm just gonna carry on doing things the way I do them. I stopped writing songs because there was so much pressure on me to keep writing songs, keep writing songs, keep writing fucking songs, and it stopped being fun. I'm scared that this will stop being fun too, and I'll be left with nothing to make me smile when the depression and the anger reaches its worst.

Sorry about the incredibly long author's note, just thought I'd get that off my chest. Thanks for reading, and for sticking with this story all the way to this chapter. It means the world to me, you guys, it really does.


	15. Chapter 15

**Warning: **This right here is a Unicorn of death Fanfiction. For those of you who haven't read my other brilliantly amazing Fanfictions, that basically means that this thing will be filled with swearing, YAOI (dun dun duuun) and the occasional tasteless joke. Consider yourself warned.

**Disclaimer: **It's called Fanfiction because I am a FAN, not the owner of the damned characters.

**When Roxas gets tough...**

What the fuck is happening.

I don't understand.

Henna is ill.

Demyx is in my living room bawling his eyes out...

And _Roxas_ is _yelling_ at someone on the phone.

I would never have expected him to be angry. Adorable, yes. Vulnerable, sometimes. Indescribably sexy and perfectly shaped and soft and smooth and practically begging me to make sweet, sweet love to him in my parents' bed –

Ahem. Where was I? Oh, yes, he was angry. And I am very glad that I wasn't the person he was angry at, because whoever it was, and whatever they had done, they were probably shaking in their pathetic boots. But hey, as long as it wasn't me that he was angry at, I think it was okay for me to thoroughly enjoy him snarling and yelling and punching my wall occasionally and generally giving me chills and making me wonder what he's like in the bedroom. I wouldn't really mind emerging from my bed in the morning covered in bruises if they'd come from Roxas's sweet little fists, or his teeth... mm, I _definitely_ wouldn't mind...

Wow, I was horny today.

"Axel..." I looked over at Demyx, who had just about stopped crying, "what am I gonna do if she... if she..."

"She won't." I was very certain that she wouldn't die. She _couldn't_ die, could she? She was only little, and so sweet. Good people don't die, do they? "Don't dwell on it, Demyx. She's not going to die."

Roxas emerged from the hallway in which he'd been yelling at someone on the other end of his phone slightly pink in the face and scowling heavily. "I need some ice."

"What for?" I asked, tripping over myself in an attempt to get to my freezer and get him some ice.

"I, um, may have punched the wall. I was a little annoyed."

I snatched up some ice, barely remembering to close my freezer afterwards, and took hold of both of Roxas's wrists in one hand, because he was so _tiny_ and _soft_ and... fuck. "I think your knuckles are just bruised, but you don't want them to swell up or anything..." I put the ice pack across him knuckles, being as gentle as I could, and kept my eyes on the floor because if I looked him in those enormous blue eyes with the... the thick black lashes and... and his lips, the ones I wanted underneath mine and on my neck and around my –

"Axel? Hello? Anyone in there?" Roxas was talking. I actually listened to the words this time instead of just that voice of his, which was now softer, gentler, like he was talking to some mentally impaired kid. "I can hold the ice pack myself, you know. You don't have to hold my hands."

"Yeah I do." Oh. Did I just say that? SHIT. Um... "You'll only end up hurting yourself again otherwise." Nice cover. Really nice.

There were footsteps coming into my kitchen. Oh, yeah, Demyx was in my house too. And having a crisis. Shit. "Um... you okay, Roxas?"

"Yeah, I'm – fuck! Axel, don't press on it, it _hurts_!" Roxas tried to pull his hands away but I held on tighter, very reluctant to lose the precious little skin-to-skin contact I had.

"Shit, I'm sorry, Roxas. That better?" He nodded. "Fucking hell, I'm really, really sorry..."

"It's okay." He smiled at me. OH MY GOD HE HAS A DIMPLE ON HIS CHEEK I WANT TO TOUCH IT THAT'S SO CUTE I WANT TO KISS HIM OH MY GOD FUCK. "Can I sit down or something though? I've had kind of a long day..."

"Yeah, that's fine, um... come sit at the kitchen table, yeah?" Anything for you, Roxas. Sitting down, standing up, getting hit by trains, I don't care as long as you're happy... "There you go. How are your knuckles now?"

"Cold." I chuckled, and Roxas smiled, and _fuck_ his _smile_ and that dimple and his sparkling blue eyes and... oh, fucking hell, I was going to end up pinning him to the floor and making him whimper, scream, beg... "But it doesn't hurt now, which is always a plus."

"Axel." I turned slightly and saw Demyx raiding my fridge, as he often did. "You have no cranberry juice."

"I don't like cranberry juice, Demyx. Nobody except you likes cranberry juice. Buy your own damn food, you fucking freeloader."

"Oh, shut up, you paedophile."

I rolled my eyes at Roxas. "Demyx likes to think that I'm a pedo just because I'm more than I little unusual in appearance and I enjoy Dora The Explorer."

"I love Dora!" Okay, that could be one of the things we do when we're married, just stay in bed and watch Dora The Explorer and cuddle. "I've learnt more fucking Spanish from her than I have from fucking _Zexion_."

Swear again, I love hearing swearwords come from those pretty little lips, all those things that little blonde angels aren't supposed to say, and I bet I could make him say them over and over if I just tried hard enough...

"I like Zexion," Demyx pouted, beginning to cram slightly-out-of-date strawberries into his oversized mouth. "He's always really nice to me."

"Yeah, but you can't exactly speak much Spanish, can you?" I pointed out, still holding Roxas's wrists with one hand and an ice pack in my other, crippled, rather painful hand.

"I speak French better than I can speak Spanish," Roxas said contemplatively. "But most of my French knowledge isn't going to help me in any exams, like, I can't exactly write _Fermer ta grande bouche _in answer to a question, can I?"

SPEAK MORE FRENCH FUCKING HELL THAT'S SO HOT OH MY GOD...

"You could. You wouldn't get any marks, but I guess you'd give your teacher a chuckle."

I swallowed, starting to get just a little bit pissed off with Demyx and his habit of flirting with everything that breathes (except me, because apparently I'm "a fucking gross pedo who's only good for supplying cranberry juice", in Dem's words) which apparently extended to _my _Roxas. "Um, Demyx... how come you're eating so much? Did you, like, skip lunch or something?"

Ignore _him_, pay attention to _me_...

"Nah, I eat loads. I know it doesn't really show, but..." Demyx tugged his shirt up a little to show off his abs. Oh, you little fucker, you're doing it on purpose, aren't you? "Axel doesn't mind, do you, Ax?"

I shrugged. No point flipping out at Demyx with Roxas still here. I'd have to wait until he'd gone to bed and then start chewing out the annoying bitch who seemed to think he was my best friend. "I guess not. You can have something to eat as well, you know, Roxas. What d'you want?"

"Oh, I'm not hungry, I had loads at lunch..." He sounded like he was bullshitting. N'aww, I had to give him some food, and a cuddle, and several gentle kisses along the side of his neck and down to his shoulder and then – fuck, I was doing it again.

"You look starving. At least have some ice cream or something?"

Demyx perked up at this. "You have ice cream?"

"Only sea salt, don't get excited." I looked back at Roxas, who had his head turned so he could see out of my window, leaving his supple, inviting neck all exposed... "D'you like sea salt ice cream, Roxas?"

"Yeah, actually, I do." Roxas looked back at me, smiling softly, almost shyly, and my fucking God, the fact that I hadn't already pounced on him so far this evening was a major achievement, and not really something that I was going to be able to keep up for much longer. "Do you?"

"Yeah, I do." And I have a feeling I'm going to like it even more when it's between those lips of yours, moving backwards and forwards in your warm, tender mouth, _fuck_, what I wouldn't give to be ice cream right now... "Hang on a sec and I'll fetch some for you."

"Nah, my hands are fine now, I can get it out myself." He got up, prising his wrists out of my hands, and went over to my fridge. "Which drawer..."

"The third one down." OH MY GOD HE'S BENDING OVER SHIT SHIT FUCK WHY DON'T I HAVE A CAMERA WITH ME THIS ISN'T FAIR DAMN THAT FUCKING ASS AND I WANT TO INSERT MYSELF INTO THAT ASS AND SHIIIIT. "Yeah, that one there," I managed to choke out, clinging to the table leg for support.

**Ice cream, Dora The Explorer, and other fun things to do**

"Axel, stop it."

"Stop what?" Axel asked innocently, looking up at Demyx, who was giving him a typical "Don't give me that bullshit" look. Demyx seemed to be holding up fairly well considering the fact that his sister was... yeah. "What'm I doing, Dem?"

"You _know _what. If you want me to help you with these things, you need to follow my instructions."

I spotted some ice cream starting to drip down my thumb and lapped it up, savouring the sweet, salty, incredibly weird taste. "What are you two talking about?"  
>"Nothing. Just eat your ice cream. And eat it faster, it's starting to melt." Axel seemed oddly interested in my ice cream and what I did with it. And considering we were in his kitchen and it was roughly the same temperature in here as it was in his freezer, I don't even think that it was in danger of melting. "<em>Roxas<em>, just eat it _quickly_..."

"Axel," Demyx said warningly. Everyone was talking about something I didn't quite understand and frankly it was starting to piss me off.

"It's really cold in here, anyway, I doubt that this will melt any time –"

"Shit, you're cold? You should've said something earlier! You want to go into the living room? Or upstairs, maybe, it's a lot warmer upstairs..."

"Nah, I'm okay, Axel, really, I..." I suddenly trailed off when I felt something on my knee for just a brief moment under the table. "Um..."

"You want my jacket?" he offered, starting to take it off. I shook my head but, being a rather stubborn fuck, he just rolled his eyes and stood up. "Come on, it's not gonna burn you." He handed it to me and I pulled it on, inwardly laughing at the fact that it was about five sizes too big for me, and then resumed my eating of ice cream. "Better now?"

"Yeah, definitely." It was still warm from Axel wearing it, and it smelt just like him, and was totally platonic and friendzoney. "So, you guys, how long have you been friends?"

Axel shrugged. "Far too long, I know that much."

"Yeah, it's been, like, ever since he found out that one of my younger siblings is best friends with his obsession – I mean, his crush." Demyx gave me one of his famous charming smiles, probably so that I wouldn't question his use of the word "obsession", and I just nodded along dumbly, kind of caught off guard by pretty green eyes and the knowledge that he was madly in love with, like, Luxord or Xigbar or someone, and only flirted with little people like me because it made his life a little bit easier. That seemed to be Demyx in a nutshell, just using his pretty face and charm for completely the wrong reasons.

"Oh, come on, you wouldn't last a day without me, you ditzy blonde fuck-up," Axel snorted, his eyes still trained on my ice cream. I decided just to put it down to him being hungry, since he was incredibly skinny, especially his arms. Although he's clearly made solely of muscle, or he wouldn't even have been able to punch Seifer, let alone do the damage everyone was saying he'd done. Which, believe me, was a lot of damage.

"I would too. You wouldn't, though. You'd be in jail for sexual assault within ten minutes because you wouldn't have me around being an enormous cockblock." Demyx grinned widely at both of us before opening a new cartoon of orange juice and drinking straight from the container, poor-college-student-style. "Not to mention you'd be all over the place murdering people because they mildly piss you off."

Axel shrugged, and I noticed just how well-shaped his shoulders were. Um... because, you know, I've been wondering how I can tone my shoulders recently, and I was thinking that maybe Axel would know how to go about doing that. Yeah. "You'd be breaking into other people's houses to eat their food because clearly your poor parents don't give you nearly enough to eat." He saw that I had finished my ice cream and plucked the wooden stick from between my fingers. "_You_, on the other hand, Roxas, should eat more. I'm sure you've lost weight since your sister got ill." How the fuck would he know that? "You want another ice cream? Or we have cake, or I can make toast, or..."

"Axel, I'm fine, really. Stop worrying so damn much." He seemed really on edge around me. I wonder why. "I wouldn't mind watching Dora The Explorer, but other than that, there's not much I really feel like –"

"Dora it is. Come on, we're going up to my room, I have a flat screen TV. Demyx, you coming?"

Demyx sighed dramatically as though it greatly pained him to leave behind the orange juice that wasn't even his in the first place. "I suppose I'll have to, really, won't I?"

"Not if you don't want to, I mean, you really seem to be enjoying the contents of Axel's fridge," I said, standing up and moving to take Axel's jacket off, but he put a hand on my shoulder.

"You can keep that if you want, Roxas, it suits you," he told me, grinning when I started smiling like an idiot. "Come on, let's go and watch kids' cartoons because we're just that cool."

"I really do think that I should come with you guys..." Demyx said slowly, glancing between his juice and Axel and I like it was a life-changing decision. "Can I trust you two on your own?"

"Of course you can, why wouldn't you?" I asked, looking at Axel like maybe he was going to explain everything ever.

"I was thinking more about Axel, to be honest. He has a history of doing some rather stupid things." Demyx chuckled weakly. "You did tidy your room, right, Axel? Move your videocamera out of the way and everything?"

"_Shit_!" Axel muttered, sprinting out of the room. I glanced over at Demyx, who looked like he was somewhere between collapsing from the stress of it all and laughing at Axel being a little on the weird side.

"You okay, Demyx?"

He nodded, smiling thinly. "Yeah, I am. How are you, Roxas? I know things have been weird for you what with Naminé being ill and my brother harassing you and everything..."

"I don't really mind Hayner harassing me, to be honest. It's not like he ever really does anything..." Except a blowjob, a handjob, some groping, and this one time when I slept over at his place and woke up with a random lovebite on my shoulder. "And I think it's just a matter of time before he takes the hint that I'm really not interested and moves onto someone who's actually looking for a relationship."

"So you aren't looking for a relationship at the moment?" Demyx said slowly, scratching the back of his head and looking like he was in deep thought. "Hm..."

"Well, I mean, if the right person comes along and they, like, understand all the stuff I have going on in my family and all that, and they can kind of, you know, help me through everything... I dunno. Depends on who it is, I suppose."

Demyx grinned. "Okay, changing the subject now. What do you think of Axel?"

I bit my lip. What exactly _did_ I think of Axel? That was actually a rather tough question. "Well... he's... interesting..." I laughed to myself. "He's like... I think he has good intentions, most of the time, but he can be kind of weird about things. Like when Seifer was being a bitch to me. And I think maybe he's kinda lonely. And... is his hair natural?"

Well, I didn't really mean to say that.

Oh, well.

Demyx smirked. "I wouldn't know, to be honest. He tells me it is, but I really don't want him to prove it to me, so... You could always take a look, though, if you're curious..."

"D-Dude! Ew! No!" I could feel myself blushing. "I mean... he's decent looking and everything... but I'm pretty sure he likes someone else, and I'm really not looking to get into anything at the moment, and..."

Demyx just laughed even more at my discomfort. "Don't worry, Roxas, I'm kidding. Well, you know, mostly. I doubt Axel would mind if you chose to –"

"_Yes_, he _would_," I insisted, laughing in spite of myself. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some kids' cartoons to watch."

And then I took my leave, like a boss.

xxx

I have an exam tomorrow, or rather, later today, and it's currently midnight and I'm updating fanfiction. And I kind of walked a half marathon earlier as well, after promising my mother I would just rest up tonight. Um... oops?

I just wanna thank all of you for being so nice and actually reading my crappy stories. Even the people who are kind of critical and make me a little sad are very much appreciated because (and this is going to sound so weird) you people make me feel a whole lot less alone.

So... yeah. Thanks, and as always, I beg you to review because I'm an attention whore.


	16. Chapter 16

**Warning: **This right here is a Unicorn of death Fanfiction. For those of you who haven't read my other brilliantly amazing Fanfictions, that basically means that this thing will be filled with swearing, YAOI (dun dun duuun) and the occasional tasteless joke. Consider yourself warned.

**Disclaimer: **It's called Fanfiction because I am a FAN, not the owner of the damned characters.

**Roxas and other fun things to do**

HE'S IN MY BED HE'S IN MY BED HE IS IN MY BED HE'S HERE IT'S A BED OH MY GOD.

Roxas. In. My. Bed.

I can't even process it, it's so beautiful and perfect and oh my _God_ I wanted to just strip him down and push him back into the pillows and make him come everywhere, to taste him and touch him and hear him and see him and oh _fuck..._

And meanwhile he's just watching Dora The Explorer like he has no fucking clue how badly I want to fuck him.

"You okay, Axel? You keep zoning out. Are you tired?"

Yes, I'm tired of being a virgin, will you fix that for me?

"Nah, I'm fine, Roxas. Why, are you? You can go to bed any time you like, you know." Preferably after you've let me pound you into the mattress, but hey, as long as you're happy... "You always look tired nowadays. Things are tough for you, huh?"

"Well... yeah. But, I mean... I don't wanna dwell on the bad stuff, you know? I'd rather just get on with my life, try to help Naminé as much as I can..." Aww, he's so deep and selfless. "Anyway. You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." I'd be even better if you'd just lie down right there, preferably naked, and let me do things to you that will make you see stars.

"If you're sure..." Roxas gave me a suspicious look that was so fucking _cute_ and oh, fuck, I was going to end up jumping him...

After two episodes of Dora, some Spongebob and a little bit of Bear In The Big Blue House, Roxas started looking sleepy. He didn't object or even seem to notice when I slipped an arm around his shoulders, his thin, muscled, beautiful shoulders, the same shoulders I intended to cling to as I slowly penetrated –

I mean, um, I like trains.

"You know, Axel, you have a really huge bed." All the better to fuck you on, my dear. Or we could fuck on the floor, against the wall, in my bathtub, on the chest of drawers, in the kitchen, on my sofa, in the back garden... "Have you ever slept with anyone?"

No, but we can always fix that...

"Nah. Never really met anyone worth it. I mean, there's this one guy..." Yeah, there's this one guy, but he's so cutely oblivious to the thoughts running through my head about him _all the damn time_, he just sits there being perfect and not realising that his creepy red-haired friend wants to destroy him all over the bed... "I don't think he realises I like him, though."

"Ah, right. See, I kind of have the opposite problem. It's like, Hayner makes it obvious that he likes me, but he doesn't seem to realise that I really don't like him."

Hayner can go die in a fucking hole, you are _mine_, you will always be mine and anybody who so much as sees you shirtless deserves to die a horrible, painful death.

"I still think you should just tell Hayner to fuck off," I said, subtly moving so that I was a little closer to him. Oh _fuck_ he was so _perfect_... "At least make it clear that you really aren't interested in him." A horrible, horrible thought occurred to me. "Roxas... are you a virgin?"

He thought about it. _He thought about it._ "Um... specifically, yes, I am. I mean, I've never actually... had sex, but I've, y'know, I've done... stuff."

I swallowed, fighting down the urge to start destroying my entire bedroom in a fit of jealous rage, you know, like all normal teenage boys. "What stuff? And who with?" There was a pause. "You don't have to say if you don't want to –"

"Nah, it's fine. It's like... well, it was Hayner..." Right, he's going to die. I don't even care what he did to you, he's going to fucking die. "He, um, he kinda gave me a blowjob."

Fuck it, he will DIE. I'm going to kill him so hard that he no longer breathes.

"Was it good?" Fucking stupid question, really fucking stupid question...

"Um... not as good as it could've been... I don't fucking know!" He laughed and I felt a little bit better. "I don't exactly have anything to compare to, do I?"

I'll give you something to compare to, and believe me, I will be _so much_ better...

"So do you actually like anyone at the moment?" I asked, looking at Roxas who was still looking the TV, enjoying the curve of his neck and his soft, smooth skin that just begged me to bite it, kiss it, suck it, turn it pink and red and purple, and his soft blonde hair that was probably just as fine and soft in places other than his head, and fuck, what I wouldn't give to find out, _fuck_...

"Well, there's this one guy, but he likes someone else..." Then he's got fucking terrible taste and you should give up on him and let me love you. "But you know, I don't really want a relationship at the moment, considering all the shit that's going on with my sister and everything." I can wait. I can wait for years and years if that's what it takes, as long as you marry me at the end of it. "Know what I mean?"

"Yeah," I said automatically, before I could actually process the question. Of course I knew what Roxas meant, I knew everything about Roxas, I had been stalking him for years.

"Shit, that's my phone..." He withdrew his phone from his pocket and looked at it uneasily for a moment before answering. "Um, hi."

I watched as his face slowly went paler and paler, his teeth digging into his bottom lip. "I thought I told you to delete my number." His voice was harsher than I had ever heard it before, more afraid and hurt than angry, and I was desperate to scoop him up in my arms and hold him until the hurt went away. "I don't care how much you miss me. I told you to leave me alone."

Something, you may or may not have noticed, was rather wrong here.

"Look, just – okay, that's enough crying – just hang up, delete my number, and forget about me. I thought you were going to that place again, anyway?"

What place? Who was crying on the other end of the phone? Why wouldn't they give me back my Roxas's attention?

"Okay – okay, Tianne –" Tianne sounded like a girl's name. If there was one thing that was certain here, it was that Roxas had no interest in girls. I was more or less safe. "Look, just calm down, okay? Don't – don't hurt yourself – Tianne, I said _don't_!" Roxas sighed. "Okay, I can't deal with this any more. I'm hanging up now."

He hung up, then started pressing buttons rapidly on his phone, trying to call someone else. Why couldn't he just focus on me? Was I being selfish, clinging to the boy I'd been chasing for years just because this was my first real opportunity to have sex with him, or more importantly, tell him I was in love with him?

"Hey, Bradley?" Okay, Bradley was a guy's name. He was on the phone to a guy that wasn't me. That was kind of upsetting. Just a little. "It's Roxas. Yeah, I know I said that. I'm sorry. I know, I know. I just thought I should tell you that Tianne is standing in the kitchen with a knife and... yeah." He looked so tired and stressed, poor little thing. I could easily get rid of his problems... "Yeah, it's fine, no worries. I'll call you tomorrow or something, check she's okay."

He threw his phone back onto my bed and leaned against me.

"You okay?" I asked softly, fighting the temptation to begin threading my fingers through his hair, kissing his forehead, telling him that I loved him...

"Yeah. Tianne's just a little... well, she's... um. I used to be her best friend, and we'd spend all our time together, but there was this one little thing that she couldn't really get her head around." I waited, not wanting to pressure him. "She was convinced that I was straight... and that I liked her. And she was kind of a bit... she had a lot of problems. She's been in and out of the mental rehabilitation centre in the middle of town a whole lot and I thought she was getting better, but..."

"Wow. You're really..." I couldn't think up the word. "I don't know. Tolerant? You just... you let people cling to you, or whatever, you listen to them, you care about them..."

He shrugged. "I never really think about it. I don't really feel like I'm tolerating people, I just... I'm just myself and that seems to be enough for them."

You're enough for me, more than enough for me, I could saturate myself in you and be so, so happy...

"I'm sleepy," I blurted out, realising as I said it just how drowsy I was getting.

"Go to sleep, then," Roxas said simply.

**Sometimes life is kind of... weird**

Axel has this thing where he clings to whatever he can cling to while he's asleep. In this case, he clung to me. He nuzzled into my chest and murmured my name now and again, and at one point his hands were probably cold and so, like any logical subconscious, his mind told him to get them warm, which he tried to do by putting his hands down my pants.

It was kinda cute in a worrying, perverted kind of way.

After about half an hour of Axel holding me so tightly that I expected a rib or two to snap, I realised I really needed the bathroom. I wriggled away from him, ignoring the disappointed whine that came out when he half-woke up and realised that he didn't have the squishy warm blonde thing in his arms any more. As quietly as I could I left his room and found my way into his bathroom, which, just for the record, was fucking enormous but sort of empty, like most of Axel's house. On the way back to his room I bumped into Demyx, who was apparently "just coming to check up on you guys because Axel gets a little weird sometimes". When I said that Axel was fast asleep Demyx just shrugged and left to go and raid Axel's enormous fridge again.

I pulled open Axel's bedroom door slowly, worried about waking him –

"_Roxas_!" Okay, so maybe that didn't go too well. "I – I – I woke up and – and you weren't there... I thought something happened or – or you left me..." He looked somewhere between mad with panic and thoroughly dejected. "You wouldn't leave me, right?"

"Of course not, Axel," I said warmly, sitting down next to him on the bed and not even blinking when he wrapped his arms tightly around my waist and started nuzzling into my chest again. "You go back to sleep, okay?"

"Don't leave me again, Roxas." God, he was so fucking lonely, wasn't he? "Where did you go?"

"I just went to the bathroom, Axel, don't worry." I don't know why he would have been worrying anyway, but I may as well reassure him. "Go back to sleep, okay?"

Axel drifted off to sleep again, clinging to me more than ever and every now and then fidgeting until I realised he was lying almost on top of me.

"Um..." I tried to move out from underneath him. No luck. He was skinny as fuck, but he was very tall, and made of muscle, and heavier than he looked. "Axel? You awake?"

"Mmf?"

"Could you, um, get off me a little bit?" I asked, putting my hands onto his shoulders to shift him a little. He still wouldn't move.

"_No_." He was sort of whining. A lot. Which didn't really suit him. "Roxas, I'm... keepin' you warm..."

"You're still pretty much asleep, is what you are," I told him, trying to wriggle away again. "Look, it's sweet of you to keep me nice and warm and everything, but can you do it without squishing me? It's just that you're a little bit bigger than me..."

"Shit!" He suddenly moved a whole lot faster than you would expect from someone so sleepy. "Sorry, Rox... I'm sorry..."

"It's okay, Axel, don't worry about it," I told him smoothly as he wrapped his arms around my waist again and sighed heavily.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to, I'm sorry..." He squeezed me gently and then settled.

"Don't worry, seriously. It barely even hurt," I lied, rubbing subtly at the ribs he'd been lying on. He was not a light person.

"Mm, Roxas, you smell so good," he murmured. I blinked, pleased to know that I smelt good, but wondering why he was sniffing me. "I'm sorry I squished you."

"It's _fine_, Axel!" It kind of worried me that he felt the need to apologise so much. Especially since all he did was almost squash me. "Just go to sleep, okay?"

I didn't get much sleep that night, between Axel snuggling up to me and the phone call from Tianne. I mean, it would be one thing if she had just said "Hi, Roxas, guess who's out of the mental rehab centre?" But she kind of hadn't. It had been more like "Do you have a girlfriend? Can I be your girlfriend? No? Well I have a knife, you know. Can you hear me sharpening this knife?"

Unfortunately, I had had rather a lot of experience of dealing with Tianne's problems. Her many, many problems. And I knew that the best thing would be just to get her brother to step in instead. Bradley was a pretty capable guy, and he knew how to handle Tianne. (He was also incredibly cute, but decidedly straight. Not homophobic or anything, but straighter than most highways.) He had always liked me because I wouldn't let Tianne hurt herself or even talk about hurting herself.

"Roxas?" Axel said thickly at three in the morning.

"Yeah, Axel?"

"I have to tell you something," he muttered, trying to sit up.

"Can it wait until the morning? I'm exhausted." I couldn't sleep, sure, but I was still exhausted.

"No, it can't." He pulled me closer to him, his breathing heavy and warm in my ear. "Roxas..."

"Axel, I think you're still half asleep."

"No, 'm not. Look, I... I really like you. You're one of my best friends. In fact you and Demyx are more or less my only friends, and Demyx annoys the fuck out of me at the best of times..." I chuckled. "I like your laugh. You should do it more often."

After drifting in and out of sleep for a few more hours, I got up, making sure to be absolutely silent so Axel didn't notice I was gone, and snuck down the hall to have a shower.

When I got back, he was sitting on the bed staring at the door, and the second I stepped through it, he leapt to his feet.

"Stop _doing_ that!" he yelled, kicking his bed. I shrank back against the door, slightly taken aback by Axel's rage. "Stop it! _Please!_"

"Um... stop what?"

"Stop fucking wandering off! I wake up and you're not here and I have a fucking heart attack because I think you've been kidnapped or killed or you've left me or..." The anger fell out of his voice and he was suddenly far quieter. "Roxas, I meant what I said a few hours ago. You and Demyx are, like, my only friends."

I sighed. "Okay. I'm sorry about just up and going, okay? I'm really, really sorry. Can we have breakfast now? I'm starved."

Axel wasn't quite done saying things that weren't possibly as romantic as I wanted them to be, though. "I'm really, really sorry for yelling at you, Roxas. I just..."

"It's okay."

At breakfast Axel barely ate, insisting he wasn't hungry, I ate enough for both of us, and Demyx ate even more than me.

"I really don't wanna go to school," I muttered. Axel seemed to perk up at this.

"We could skip, you know. Just hang out here or –"

"Nope." We both looked at Demyx like he had turned purple. He wasn't supposed to be the responsible one any more than Axel was supposed to be the normal one. "You have to go to school, both of you. I won't allow you to skip."

"Only cause you don't want to talk to Xigbar on your own," Axel jeered, taking my plate and grinning at me. I tried to tell myself that butterflies like this were utterly normal.

"Shut up," Demyx snapped, going pink. "I don't go around everywhere advertising your crush on, or should I say obsession with –"

"Don't even _think_ about it, you little blonde shit," Axel growled. "Or else I'll tell your parents how you got an A in English last term."

I swallowed. "Um... you guys?"

"Stay out of it, Roxas," Demyx said, folding his arms and glaring at Axel. "You think you're so tough, don't you, Axel? Well, how would everyone at school react if it got out that you –"

"Shut the fuck up!" Axel yelled.

It was way too early in the morning for this. I stood up and, while the two of them were distracted, slipped out of the kitchen and out of the house, deciding to walk to the bus stop and hopefully escape from the bedlam.

xxx

Gotta love one a.m. updates. Listen, I have a favour to ask of y'all. Would you all pretty pretty please check out my dear friend My Unicorn Romance in this wonderful place we call fanfictionland? She's relatively new and she really deserves some attention and reviews.

Also, if you have a second, go check out My sister talks to fire and my brother is gay. You won't regret it, I promise. And if you do, you're guaranteed your money back (terms and conditions apply, see my other fanfics for details.) Reviews now? Kthxbai.


	17. Chapter 17

**Warning: **This right here is a Unicorn of death Fanfiction. For those of you who haven't read my other brilliantly amazing Fanfictions, that basically means that this thing will be filled with swearing, YAOI (dun dun duuun) and the occasional tasteless joke. Consider yourself warned.

**Disclaimer: **It's called Fanfiction because I am a FAN, not the owner of the damned characters.

**Sometimes life is kind of... Roxas**

"I fucking hate you, Demyx. I _fucking_ hate you."

In any other circumstance, Demyx would have objected to this because really, it wasn't his fault. Today he just sighed and nodded. "I know you do, Axel. Look, I bet he's just gone to school –"

"What if he hasn't?" I yelled, kicking my kitchen table so hard that it made a rather worrying cracking noise. "What if he gets hurt? What if he gets _killed_?"

"He won't get hurt, Axel, don't panic," Dem said soothingly. "Listen, we need to get to school. The bus leaves in ten minutes –"

"I don't fucking care about getting to school!" My voice shifted from furious stalker to miserable five-year-old. "Dem-_yx_, I just want my Roxas back."

"I know you do, Axel, which is why we need to get you to school and find him. We have Math today, right?" I nodded. "Well, you'll see him then, won't you?"

"But what if –"

"No buts." There are very few times when Demyx sounds serious, so when he does, you kinda have to shut the fuck up and pay attention. "Math is first period, isn't it?"

I nodded. "I just wanna see Roxas again, Demyx."

"I know, I know." He took a deep breath and stood up. "Go and put some make-up on, you've got circles."

"Not my fault if Roxas woke me up like three times. He kicks." I _like_ it when he kicks, though. And when he mumbles in his sleep, when he snuggles into me... "Thanks, Dem. I know I'm a bitch sometimes, but..."

"It's okay, Axel. Thanks for putting up with all my shit with Xigbar and Luxord and everything. We're both kinda nutcases. But we'll get by."

"I feel like I should make an _Of Mice And Men _reference," I said pensively, because of course I am totally deep and worthy of a relationship with someone as deep as Roxas. "Do me a favour and throw me an apple?"

After my apple, which was one of the nicest apples I'd had in a long time, and after I had made myself look nice and pretty, Demyx and I sprinted to the bus stop and fell into seats next to each other, exhausted but at least on our way to school.

When we crashed through the front doors with ten minutes before first period, I was intent on finding Roxas, and we tried Main Corridor A (very narrowly avoiding what would have been a not-so-pleasant encounter with a rather stroppy Luxord, who didn't seem happy that so much of Demyx's attention was going to Xigbar) and the left side of the school before deciding just to wander through Main Corridor B in the general direction of Math.

Unfortunately, a certain someone happens to frequent Main Corridor B quite often, it being their place of work and all, and we couldn't avoid Xigbar however much we wanted to.

"Axel." I swore under my breath and Demyx froze like a rabbit next to me. "I need a quick word with you."

"Um... with _Axel_?" Demyx laughed nervously and we could all guess what was going through his head. "How... how come?"  
>"Just to talk about his grade this year, don't worry," Xigbar said warmly, shoving me into his classroom and then holding the door for Demyx like a gentleman. "Axel, look. I know you struggle at home and shit, and that sucks for you. But Demyx has actually handed in more essays than you have."<p>

"Demyx has handed in _one_!" I protested.

"And you've handed in zero. You don't participate in class and I have a sneaking suspicion you broke into my office to steal Roxas's phone." Demyx and I exchanged "Shit, we're busted" looks. "I don't wanna make things harder for you, Axel, but you need to do some work, or I'm going to have to fail you."

Failure meant not staying in Roxas's grade. I almost stopped breathing at the very thought of it, I could barely think straight, and all I could really do was look at Demyx feebly in the hope that he'd come to my rescue.

Demyx was amazing. Demyx was the single best person in the universe. He pouted, wrapped his arms around Xigbar's waist and looked him dead in the eye (which must have been odd because he only had the one.) "Xigbar, pretty pretty please let Axel off? He's my best friend..."

"Demyx, you know I can't... ooh, do that again..."

I closed my eyes tight, my stomach starting to protest, but I couldn't really say much because Demyx was in the middle of saving my ass. "I know you want to help me out here, don't you, Xigbar?" he said softly. "Please? Axel will only complain to me if you fail him this year."

Xigbar sighed. "Demyx, rules are rules, and it's one thing bending them for you..."

"Aw, please? Think of all the things I've bent for you..." I don't think I was meant to hear that. I considered humming, maybe the Dora The Explorer theme song after the beauty that was last night, but figured that might come across as sort of obnoxious.

I prised open one eye to see Demyx wrapped around Xigbar really, really creepily, with his hand fuck-knows-where doing fuck-knows-what. It made me feel sick, but at this point as long as I survived long enough to see Roxas in Math I didn't mind.

"Okay, Demyx, but only for you." There was a pause. I tried really hard not to speculate about what they might be doing. "What... what lesson have you got –"

"Math. Axel, you get to Math, right? Tell Miss that I'm talking to Xigbar about... I don't know... last night's homework."

I promptly scurried out of Xigbar's classroom, immensely relieved to have an excuse to go, and half-walked, half-jogged to Math, almost on time for a change.

"Axel, you're late. Just sit down and be quiet, I don't wanna hear it." Miss looked more than a little hungover. I could turn that to my advantage.

"You know, Miss –"

"You know what? Let's skip the part where you make my life hell. Just sit next to Roxas and copy down the notes on the board."

Thank you, God, for Roxas, my Math teacher's hangover, and all other holy and beautiful things.

Roxas looked up at me and attempted to smile, and it hit me just how inconsiderate and dickish I had been earlier. "Hey, Axel," he whispered, moving his book over onto his own desk, like I fucking cared where his books were as long as he was comfortable.

"Roxas, are you okay? I'm really sorry about me and Dem bickering, we do that all the time and it gets on people's nerves but..."

"No, it's okay." He started chewing on his pen, having already copied down all of the half-legible notes that were spewed across the whiteboard. "I was just kind of tired, and I needed to be on time for school anyway, so that I could talk to Hayner."

His name made my blood run cold. "Um... what did you need to talk to him about?" How much of a dick he is and how he doesn't have a chance with you because we're going to get married and have babies together?

"Just stuff. Homework, mostly." He was lying, he was lying because he and Hayner were having a secret affair and Roxas didn't love me and... "Anyway, it hardly matters. Are you and Demyx friends again?"

"Yeah, we fight like that all the time," I said easily, shifting a little closer to Roxas, feeling his knee brush mine... mm, he had such _gorgeous_ knees...

"Okay, just making sure. He seems really nice." If Roxas prefers Demyx to me I will actually kill a bitch. Not Dem, obviously, unless he tried something on my Roxas, but someone. Someone who deserved it. Oh, I know, _Hayner_. "You know, you do seem kinda lonely sometimes."

_You could fix that so easily, Roxas, just take off your clothes and lie down, or hey, just agree to be mine forever..._

"Yeah, well. Demyx doesn't really do much for loneliness, he's kind of... very blonde." Roxas raised a blonde eyebrow and I suddenly realised just how stupid I was. "Shit – I didn't mean – I mean you're perfect – perfectly intelligent, I mean, but I –"

Roxas smirked at me. "Axel," he said quietly, in a low voice that shut off all the oxygen that was flowing to my brain, "calm the fuck down."

I fucking love Math lessons, have I ever mentioned that?

**I just need a hug**

Math was always kind of weird, and so was Axel, but for some reason he was falling all over himself trying to keep me happy today. Maybe I was just paranoid, but I was beginning to think that maybe I wasn't. Demyx arrived twenty minutes late looking like he had only just got dressed, with a lovebite on his neck that put most bruises to shame, even the ones you get from things like skiing or skateboarding, and grinning like the cat who had just fucked the other cat. (I don't actually think that that's how the saying goes, but he looked like someone who had just had sex.)

Axel kept tapping his foot on the floor, chewing his fingernails, staring at me weirdly, and rocking slightly in his seat. It was pretty unnerving, I have to say, and by the end of the lesson I was starting to really worry about him. Deciding that being late to Spanish could only be a good thing, I grabbed Axel's arm and lead him into the bathroom, encountering (not at all to my surprise) Sora and Riku, who were gossiping. Or rather, Sora was gossiping, and Riku was fondling him. I sighed, knowing that there was nowhere else for the couple to go and no chance of them actually going to a lesson, and motioned for Axel to keep his voice down. Axel nodded, which was encouraging, although experience had taught me that Axel could nod along very convincingly without having half a fucking clue what you're talking about, or even being aware that you're talking at all. I don't know whether I'm the only person who has this problem with him – probably I am – but it made conversations difficult sometimes.

"Axel, are you okay?"

"Absolutely fine, Roxas." He was getting more and more agitated by the minute, drumming on things, tapping things, clicking his fingers, anything to keep his hands busy. It was like he was trying to prevent himself from doing something with his hands that he shouldn't do or some shit. "Why d'you ask?"

"Because you look really tense and on-edge," I told him, grabbing his wrist to stop him from burning his hand on the radiator. "Tell me what's wrong."

He grinned, but not his normal, cocky, sexy – I mean, mildly irritating but tolerable grin. He looked almost ill. "Nothing's _wrong_, Roxas. Honestly, I've never felt better."

"Is it because you had a fight with Demyx this morning?" I asked. He shook his head. "Is it because it's almost Christmas and you're going to be all alone?" Another shake of the head, this time a little more reluctant. "Is it because you miss your parents?" Most vigorous head-shake yet. "Okay... give me a clue."

He sighed heavily. "It's to do with the guy I like."

"What about him?"

He spread his hands hopelessly. "He just... he's so slow, it's like, I keep hinting and he just doesn't get it, he's so damn _blonde_..."

"Axel?" He looked up from his hands expectantly. "Are you_ sure _it isn't Demyx?"

He groaned and kicked the wall behind him, which, I admit, made me jump. "Yes, I'm sure it isn't fucking Demyx!"

I shrank slightly. "I was only asking..." I muttered. His face immediately became the personification of guilt.

"I'm sorry, Roxas, it's just that people... people keep saying that and I really don't like him like that and he doesn't like me like that and... I'm sorry, okay? I shouldn't have snapped at you. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Axel, don't panic about it." It was kind of odd that he constantly apologised for little things like that. Then again, everything that Axel did seemed really pretty odd.

"Roxas?" Sora had untangled himself from Riku, probably for the first time in a week, and had sprung across the room to tug on my sleeve. "Roxas, I have something to ask you."

"Sora, don't –" Riku began half-heartedly. Sora frowned at him and he promptly shut up.

"Roxas, you remember Tianne?"

I froze completely. Everything in the room seemed to fade except Sora and me. "What about Tianne, Sora?"

"Well, me and her are best friends now! She even got me this bracelet, look!" He held up his wrist, which was home to a BFF bracelet oddly similar to the one she had given me, which I had given to Bradley to give back to her after she tried to kill me that one time. "Is that okay with you? I know you and her were friends, and..."

I hesitated. I knew if I upset Sora, Riku would murder me. I knew if I just pretended everything was fine, the universe was liable to cave in on my head the way it always did when I pretended things were fine.

Axel put a hand on my lower back, reminding me that he was there. "Roxas? Are you okay?"

I nodded slowly. "Sora... it's great that you've got a best friend. Make sure you're super nice to her, all right? And just... try not to mention me in front of her, she might get a little touchy."

Sora nodded and threw his arms around my neck in an awkward attempt at hugging, then bounced back over to Riku, who looked faintly amused at his boyfriend's goofy smile and enormous shoes.

I turned back to Axel. "Yeah, sorry about that, if you ignore Sora then he tends to get a little bit..."

"I know." Well, pretty much everyone knew. Sora was a very, um, sociable, shall we say, person and he required careful handling. Or just Riku groping him, that tended to make him happy as well. "What's going on with Tianne now?"

I shrugged. "She might be completely fine now for all I know." Apart from the phonecall in which she was playing with a knife, but we could overlook that. "I just wanna keep an eye on it because Sora can be oblivious at the best of times."

"Roxas? Um... what did you need to talk to Hayner about this morning?"

I laughed uneasily. "I already told you, just homework and shit."

Axel raised an eyebrow. "Don't give me that. You cannot lie worth shit, Roxas. What do you think I'm gonna do, make fun of you?"

No, actually I think you might get pissed off. Like a lot. "Well, no, but –"

"Well how come you won't tell me?"

I took a deep breath. "Okay. Hayner really wants to go out with me, and I just said that I would consider it. That's all. But now I've got Pence going all "I told you so" and Olette gushing about how cute Hayner and I would be together and..."

"Don't go out with him." Axel was sort of white, which was odd, and his hands were pulled into fists and shaking violently. (Heh, violently, because they're fists and... never mind. It wasn't funny.) "He's an absolute dick, Roxas, and he would make you miserable. He really would."

"He's not that bad. He's my best friend, he has plenty of good qualities."

"Such as?" asked Axel, a sharp edge to his voice that I didn't like.

"Such as making me laugh, and being there for me, and buying me things and letting me stay at his house all the time and just generally letting me freeload off him all the time, he's pretty intelligent when he can actually be bothered to try –"

"Nowhere in that list was there a single thing that makes him better than your average good friend." Why was Axel so anti-Hayner? Was he jealous or something? "You might as well go out with me."

From the other side of the room I heard Sora and Riku whispering to each other, and caught my name more than once. Well, that was great. I was going to be the talk of the whole school by tomorrow. Lovely. "The difference is that you don't like me like that, and anyway I never said I would go out with Hayner, I just said I'd consider it." I did sort of make it sound like the answer was gonna be yes, but Axel didn't need to know that. Why was he so pissed about this, anyway? It didn't affect him in the slightest. I was beginning to think that he was more than a little clingy because he only really had two friends and I was one of them. Which I didn't really mind, because Axel was a really nice guy when you got down to it, and he was giving me munny for my sister. "Why do you care so much, anyway?"

"Because I'm your friend and I don't want you dating that douchenozzle because he'll make your life hell."

"My life is hell already," I muttered. "Okay, look. It's nice of you to care and everything but it's my decision, okay? Now, I need to get to Spanish –"

"You could skip Spanish, and hang out here with me," Axel suggested hopefully.

"Hayner will be worrying about me, Axel. And you should probably go to class too. I'll see you around, okay?"

"Okay," he said quietly, eyes on the floor. "See you, Roxas."

Aw, he seemed _really _disappointed that I wasn't going to skip Spanish to hang out with him. There wasn't much I could do about it, though, so I just left the bathroom, my eyes on my feet as I went. Everything was so shit...

Wait a second. My pocket felt...

Axel had just slipped me a thousand munny when I wasn't looking. That was so weird. And sweet. But mostly weird.

xxx

Updating at a sensible time in the morning for reasons unknown. At times I just wanna reach through the screen and shake Roxas, you know? He's just so _blonde, _and I totally don't mean to offend any blondes out there because I myself have some blonde in me so it would be kinda hypocritical.

I promised my waifu I would publicly apologise on all three of my main stories for supposedly cheating on her, because I kind of got a girlfriend without telling her. In my defence, she has a boyfriend (who actually seems like quite a nice chap) and is straight, so you know... But anyway. I am very sorry. I suck at apologies, can you tell? Review and all that jazz, and I will be a Unicorn of happiness.


	18. Chapter 18

**Warning: **This right here is a Unicorn of death Fanfiction. For those of you who haven't read my other brilliantly amazing Fanfictions, that basically means that this thing will be filled with swearing, YAOI (dun dun duuun) and the occasional tasteless joke. Consider yourself warned.

**Disclaimer: **It's called Fanfiction because I am a FAN, not the owner of the damned characters.

**Roxas just needs a hug**

I was oddly void of all violent urges. I didn't want to kill anyone, and I didn't want to sexually assault Roxas. Those were the only two things I knew, and for once they were gone, and I'm not sure why. All I wanted to do... all I wanted to was curl up and _die_.

"Axel? Riku, what's wrong with Axel?" Sora was tugging on Riku's sleeve. See, they could just live normal, happy lives without fear of Hayner or committing homicide or anything like that. Everyone except me seemed to have it so fucking easy. "Riku, go help him."

"Sora, it's really not –"

"Rikuuuu! Don't just leave him standing there all sad and angry like that!"

"I'm fine," I spat through gritted teeth. I still wasn't properly _angry_, just bitter. Bitter and sick of everything. Sick of having to try so fucking hard for something that should have come easily – because of course, they always tell you that you know your true love straight away, right? But Roxas didn't seem to have a fucking clue. Or maybe I was getting the same treatment as that Tianne girl, just the insane friend who didn't have a chance in hell of winning Roxas's heart but still required affection and caring because... because why? Did he expect me to go off on a murdering spree, or kill myself or something?

Sora tiptoed towards me. "You should really get to class, Axel. I'm sure Demyx will be worried about you."

I nodded slowly. What class did I have now? Like, Social Studies or something. Hm...

In the end I decided that _fuck this_, no way was I staying in school with Roxas and Hayner and Demyx and all of my problems. I started walking, and I don't really know where I went. There was a moment when I was on the bridge and I did consider jumping, but I was too afraid. Not afraid of death itself, just of the pain.

I didn't have half a fucking clue why I felt so down all of a sudden – I mean, there was Hayner asking Roxas out, but that wasn't really a big enough deal to break me like this. I think I was lonely. Lonely and cold and just so sick of everything.

_Beep beep. _I took out my phone. (1) New Message from Demyx.

_Meet me at the school gates at the end of the day. Henna woke up today for about an hour, then went back out again. She says she wants me and you to go visit her. They don't think she'll make it, but they're trying everything they can. Axel, if she dies, I will too._

Okay, so I wasn't the only one on the brink of breaking down and dying. Well, that was kind of comforting to know.

_Okay. Demyx, please don't die. I think Roxas is going to defect to Hayner. If he does, and you die, and Henna dies, I will have no one. And then I'll die too. I'm just in Tram Common at the moment – don't ask why I left school – so I'll get back by the end of the day, okay? Don't die._

I really hoped Henna would pull through. She was without a doubt my favourite of Demyx's siblings, and she didn't deserve to die. Surely she wouldn't? How could anyone that pure and good die?

_Well, if I die, and you die, then you won't be left with no one, because we'll be dead together. Maybe we should form a suicide pact. (I'm not serious. At all. Don't even think about it. Roxas needs you.) See you soon. Stay safe, and let me know if you need me. I wouldn't mind ditching class, but I would like to go to English because, you know, Luxord._

I spent the rest of my day wandering around aimlessly, attracting many an odd look from fairly aged passers-by, and picking at the scab on the back of my left middle knuckle. At the end of the school day I waltzed back to school and hung around the school gates until a very pale, tense Demyx shuffled over to me. Without a word we got bus tickets to the hospital and tracked down the children's ward.

"Hi, boys. Henna's just starting to stir, we think she might be waking up." Demyx's mother looked ill herself, and I almost wanted to sit her down at the kitchen table and make her pancakes. Except that there was no kitchen, not kitchen table, I didn't know how to make pancakes, and she'd probably reject my pancakes in favour of mothering me.

"Is that a good sign?" Demyx asked, shards of broken hope making his voice catch in his throat. "It's a good sign, right?"

His mother shook her head slowly. "No, Dem. They said that her body is trying to stay in a coma because it needs to heal, but every time she wakes up it does her heart and her brain a little bit more damage." She spoke mechanically, eyes on the wall and jaw tight, like she didn't want to believe it was her little girl she was talking about.

As we went into her room I was hit by the fact that I was an outsider. These people were all dirty blonde with blue eyes and grieving for a family member who hadn't died yet, and no matter what I did, I could never be as attached to their family as they were. Demyx and his dad were completely silent, and his mom hummed completely out of tune as she rearranged Henna's bedside table.

"Mommy? Daddy? Demy?" Henna's eyes fluttered open, her small hand reaching out for something to hold. Instantly Demyx offered up his middle finger and she clung to it. Until now I had never noticed just how precious human life is, especially little kids. How amazing is it that they're born with tiny fingernails and eyebrows and perfectly formed ears and everything, all right there from day one? "Hi."

"Hi, Henna," we all whispered, her dad waving awkwardly and her mom bending down to kiss her forehead. I hung back slightly until Demyx grabbed my arm with his free hand and tugged me to the side of the bed.

"Axel, did you do your promise?" Henna asked quietly, her eyes slipping in and out of focus.

"What promise?" Demyx whispered.

I smiled slightly, bitterness flooding me again. "I promised Henna that I'd tell Roxas that I like him, on top of the clock tower while the sun is setting. She wants me to get married to him, don't you, Henna?"

"Did you _do_ it yet, Axel?" she demanded with typical six-year-old indignation.

"Not yet. But I will, I promise." She nodded, her bottom lip still wobbling slightly. It was almost possible to ignore the tube in her arm and the hospital bracelet. "And you can be a bridesmaid when we get married, yeah?"

"Can I wear a pink dress? And can Mr Bunny be a bridesmaid too?"

"Of course he can," I said warmly, suddenly realising that I was fighting back floods of tears. "And you can wear whatever you like."

"Thank you, Axel." She smiled at me. "And remember to tell Roxas that you love him, right?"

"Of course." I swallowed hard. "And I'll name one of our babies after you, just like I said, yeah?"

"Yeah. Unless it's a boy." Demyx's mom smiled, her chin twitching. "I love you, Axel. And you, Demy. And Mommy and Daddy."

"We all love you too, Henna, very much." Henna's dad looked like he was about to break down as well. "You should really try and get to sleep, you know."

"But it's still light outside! I haven't even watched Pocoyo today!" Henna kicked feebly just as a doctor and a nurse came bustling in, holding clipboards and a box of rubber gloves. "I don't wanna go to sleep!"

"Now, Henna, settle down," said the doctor smoothly, setting her clipboard down on the edge of the bed. "Boys, perhaps you should leave."

Demyx immediately let go of Henna's hand, blew her a kiss and left, tugging me away by the sleeve. I took a deep breath, trying to fight the urge to just start bawling. I reached the decision as we left the room to tell Roxas exactly how I felt at the nearest opportunity, and to tell Henna all about it. Because there was no way she would die.

And now I understood the pain that Roxas and Demyx were in, with their little sisters seriously ill and never knowing when they would wake up for a conversation, and I understood why Roxas was considering Hayner – because what better way to take your mind off things than human company and denying all your feelings?

At least Henna had given me something I was going to have to live for now. I had to tell Roxas, before she – before she lost her patience. She wasn't going to... of course.

**Things are beginning to fall apart**

"We have half the munny we need."

"Jinx, let's not discuss munny in front of the kids."

"Why not?" my mother demanded, getting out of her chair. "Roxas already knows, he's the one who's earning most of it, and Naminé can't even hear us!" Then the burst of energy was gone, and she fell back into her chair. "I just want you to be okay..." she whispered, "both of you. I'm worried about you as well, Rox."

"I'll be fine, don't worry." Those were the exact words I had spouted to Zexion (who hadn't really cared and just wanted me to stop interrupting his Spanish lesson) and Hayner (who seemed convinced that I was going to drop dead before I agreed to be his boyfriend), but of course, Mom didn't know that. "What time do you guys need to leave for the meeting?"

Dad glanced at the clock. "Five more minutes." There was a pause. "Four and a half minutes." Another long pause. "Four minutes and five seconds."

"Richard," Mom snapped, and Dad promptly shut up. "Okay. I think we'll leave now, I'd rather be early than late, especially since doctors' schedules are so messed up. Will you be okay without us, Roxas?"

"Yeah, of course." I watched the two of them out of the door, then turned to my unconscious little sister. "Hi, Nami."

She had a lot of my features. The soft blonde hair, of course, and the big blue eyes, but then there were also the cheekbones, the chin, the petite figure and – when Naminé was awake, at least – the laugh. We both shared the same laugh, only it suited her a lot better than it did me.

"I've had another tough day," I told her. I always told her how my day had been. The times she did wake up, she never mentioned whether or not she could hear me. They were talking about how she might not wake up this time. They were talking about taking her off life support and increasing the cost of the surgery because it was getting more and more complex by the minute, and I had even overheard some doctors talking about how her body would be so great for research, especially since the number of cases of... whatever Naminé had was increasing dramatically. I wanted to believe that it would be decades before she could donate her own body to science, but really, I had to be sensible. "Hayner wants me to be his boyfriend, you know."

Naminé's finger twitched at that, I swear.

"And Axel seems really upset by the idea of me dating Hayner. I don't know why he hates him so much, you know. I mean, he's a bit of a dick sometimes, but he's been really supportive recently with you being ill and everything, and he does make me laugh, and I love his family..." I sighed. "I'm sorry about Mom and Dad arguing over you all the time. They don't really think that you can hear them. But I bet you can." I didn't need to worry about running out of things to say. I could always read her a book or play some music for her or even just tell knock-knock jokes to myself, usually putting on a squeaky voice for the part that was meant to be hers.

"Roxas?" I glanced up. A nurse was hovering awkwardly at the door. "Um, we need to take her blood pressure and everything, it's a routine thing..."

"That's okay, Jonathan, I was going to go and get myself a drink anyway. Is the key to the parents' room still on the hook by the door?"

Jonathan nodded, smiling forcedly. You could tell that he didn't like kicking me out of the room, but my mother had requested that I wasn't allowed to see Nami's blood pressure or temperature or anything because "We don't need him worrying even more, poor baby". I wanted to point out that I was actually older than Naminé, and _she_ got to see the blood pressure readings and everything, but I think my mother took comfort in babying me any way that she could. "Yeah, Roxas, it should be. Although I think a couple other older brothers just got thrown out of their sister's room for tests and such, so the door might already be unlocked. You should go and make friends with them, I know that the blonde one is really nice, and I'm told the redhead is too."

"Cool, thanks."

A blonde and a redhead. Hm... nah, it couldn't be. I went to grab the key to the parents' room off the hook but it wasn't there, so I just tried the door and it opened straight away.

"Um..." Axel and Demyx were both crying their eyes out. "Do you want me to... um..."

"Roxas!" Axel stood up, and then sat back down again, scrubbing at his face with his sleeve. "Um... you're here seeing your sister, right?"

I nodded. "They're taking her blood pressure and everything, so..."

"Yeah," Demyx sniffed, "they're doing that with Henna now as well."

There was a long pause. "This is all really shit," I commented, opening the fridge and extracting the orange juice that had Naminé's name and patient number scrawled across its label in my mother's hurried handwriting.

"Yeah." Demyx laughed hollowly. "You know... Henna, Naminé and some other girl called Xion are the only people in all of Twilight Town with this disease." He swallowed hard before continuing. "I think it's most common in Traverse Town. Xion's younger brother apparently used to commute between here and there, and they think that he carried it, but didn't get it himself."

"I've heard the theory that guys can't get it, if that's what you're getting at," I said, putting the orange juice back into the fridge and trying to ignore my crippling nausea.

"No, but listen to this. Males can _carry_ it, right, but they don't suffer from it. It can't kill them. They have some hormone that girls don't have and it neutralises the toxins or some shit. So here's what I think." Demyx stood up. "I think _you_ gave it to _me_, and _that's_ how my sister caught it."

If someone had dropped a bomb on my head I would have been less upset than I was right then.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Demyx, you can't blame _Roxas_ for –"

"Well who else could have given it to Henna?" Demyx snarled, looking at me like I was Satan. "If Roxas had thought to maybe _mention_ that only girls can get the symptoms but guys can still carry it –"

"Hey!" Axel snapped, standing up as well. "I'm not letting you blame him, okay? When would you and Roxas have even had any sort of physical contact?"

There was a long, horrible pause in which Demyx glared at me and I struggled to breathe. I don't know why Axel would care, but I had the distinct feeling that it was going to rain fire when I told the truth.

"Guys... guys, don't tell me –"

"It isn't what you think," I said far too quickly. "I mean, we... we kissed, _once_, the night that I found out Naminé was ill, before I even knew you, because I was hanging out with Hayner and I found myself alone in the kitchen with Demyx and I was so lonely and upset and –"

"_Fuck_." I pressed my back against the wall and waited for the worst. "Why the _fuck_ did that happen, D_emyx?_"

Demyx took a deep breath. "What's that supposed to mean, _Axel?_"

"You know damn well what it means, you whore. What happened to all your other crushes, huh?"

I don't even know what happened. All I know is that one moment I was fine and the next moment the tears were flowing. Breathing got harder and harder until I was sucking in all the air in the room and still nothing reached my lungs, and Axel and Demyx were just staring at each other like they didn't have a fucking clue what to do.

That was the first in a long line of panic attacks.

xxx

Well, this was far shorter than I meant it to be. Oh, well.

I had someone ask me about the possibility of a sequel. While I love all the attention and positive feedback that this story is getting, I think that the ending I have planned ties up any loose ends, and it would be pushing my luck a little to write a sequel. You know, like the 4th Shrek movie. That really didn't need to happen.

I just felt like telling y'all that I've had a really tough week (hence not updating sooner) and that I totally understand if you wanna message me and ask for advice, hugs, bad knock-knock jokes etc. Really, I love all you guys, and you've done so much for me (reviewing may not seem like much, but it really does affect my mood a lot) so it's only fair I try and help you out a little. Drop me a review if you wanna talk about my fanfiction and a PM if you wanna talk about personal stuff. Loves to you all, goodnight or morning or afternoon or whatever. Reviews are more than welcome but make sure that they wipe their feet first.


	19. Chapter 19

**Warning: **This right here is a Unicorn of death Fanfiction. For those of you who haven't read my other brilliantly amazing Fanfictions, that basically means that this thing will be filled with swearing, YAOI (dun dun duuun) and the occasional tasteless joke. Consider yourself warned.

**Disclaimer: **It's called Fanfiction because I am a FAN, not the owner of the damned characters.

**Roxas is beginning to fall apart**

He was hyperventilating. I decided that that was more important than yelling at Demyx, and steered Roxas into a chair. He was shaking so hard that I thought he'd break, and instinctively I put an arm around his shoulders and started whispering in his ear that he would be okay, that everything was okay. Demyx just _left_. I was furious with him, and so, so hurt, but there was nothing I could really say with Roxas in the room.

"Axel..." Roxas took a deep breath, relaxing a little. "Axel... I..."

"It's okay, Roxas. Don't worry."

He screwed up his face like maybe that would stop the tears. As gently as I could, I dabbed away his tears, pulling him as close to me as I could. "Thanks, Axel."

"Don't mention it," I said quietly. "I'm really sorry, that was the _worst_ time for me to pick a fight with Demyx..."

"It's okay," he mumbled, in a way that suggested it was totally not okay and he never wanted to talk to me again. "Are you all right?"

"Not really," I said bluntly, stretching one of my legs out until my knee clicked into the place it belonged. "I'm more worried about you, though."

"You always are." Roxas sighed. "Why are you so upset about me and Demyx kissing? Are you _sure_ you don't like him?"

Okay, I swear he was doing this to me on purpose now.

"Yes, Roxas, I'm _sure_," I said through gritted teeth, trying really hard not to be pissed off at him. It wasn't his fault that he was so oblivious. I like to believe that all of his problems stemmed from Hayner being an absolute dick all the damn time.

"Just checking. So how come you're so upset about –"

"Because... uh..." _Think of a lie, think of a decent lie you fuck-up... _"Because I'm all insecure and shit, because if you and Demyx ended up having a thing together I'd be all left out and alone."

Roxas sighed. "Like me and Demyx would ever go near each other again. It was one time, because he was upset and I was upset and we both needed someone." If you had needed someone, Demyx should have directed you to me, not kissed you, but he's such a filthy little whore... I was furious with him. And I was also really really upset that that had even happened, that nobody had told me, that now Roxas was going to blame himself for Henna being ill... "I don't think I could abandon you now if I tried, though. You've done so much for me..."

"I haven't, not really." I didn't feel like I had done _anything _for him. Every single last penny I had given to him had been out of the selfish need to be loved by him, every smile had been an attempt to win him over, and really, everything I had ever said to him was an effort to make him mine forever and ever, with very little thought given to the idea that actually, as much as it pained me to think it, he might not like me back. "I'm just... being myself."  
>"Well, it does a lot for me." Please let that mean precisely what I think it means. "Thank you."<p>

"Any time. You know I like you, Roxas." Just more than you think. A _lot_ more than you think. "You wanna do something this weekend?"

He grimaced. "I was gonna work this weekend, I have about half the munny I need for Naminé so –"

"I can give you munny, it's no problem, I have way too much anyway and –"

"_No_." I decided I really liked it when he was harsh like that. "Look, I'm not accepting handouts, okay? My family isn't a charity."

"Fair enough, but remember that if you change your mind –"

"Shut up." He was scowling now. Damn, I never knew a scowl could be that attractive.

"Okay, okay." I realised that I still had an arm around him from his... panic attack? I think that's what they're called. "Are you okay now?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I should probably go and see if they've finished with my sister's –"

"Wait!" I tightened my grip on him instinctively, wincing when he looked at me like I should go find myself a hospital bed of my own. "Um... so this weekend..."

"I'm probably going to do shit with Seifer or Hayner, see if they have any spare change they can throw me, you know... unless you have any housework that needs doing?" His enormous blue eyes were looking at me like I was the answer to every question ever asked, and even though I couldn't think of a single thing that could possibly need doing in my house, I knew I was physically incapable of letting him down.

"Uh... sure I do!" Think of something, _think of something_... "I have this shitty essay I need to do for Xigbar..." BRILLIANT. "Would you mind writing that for me?"

"Sure. But, uh, I wouldn't need to come to your place for that, right? I could just –"

"No! No, um, the, uh... notes, they're, um... stapled..." Stapled to what? WHY THE FUCK DID I SAY THAT? WHO STAPLES NOTES TO THINGS? "Stapled to my, uh... noticeboard thing..."

"You have a noticeboard? I didn't spot it when I stayed over at your place," Roxas mused, looking incredibly sexy with his little thoughtful pout and wrinkled forehead. "Then again, your house is, like, enormous..."

"Yeah, it is." Where the fuck was I going to get a noticeboard from? I could steal one from my dad's office, I suppose, but if he happened to come home any time soon and notice it was gone... "I, uh, I actually took my noticeboard down when you came over because I didn't want you to think I was a nerd or anything." WHY? WHY COULDN'T I STOP TALKING?

"You, a nerd? Next thing you know Demyx will be an honour student and Larxene will be a virgin."

I laughed. He was so _amazing_, funny and smart and gorgeous... "So, yeah, if you wanna come to my place on, like, Saturday and we can go get ice cream or something afterwards..."

He perked up a little bit. "Would you pay?"

"No, Roxas, I was going to give you cash for your sister and then expect you to spend it on _ice cream_." I rolled my eyes. "At least I know you're a natural blonde."

"I'm not, actually." I raised an eyebrow. There was no way he couldn't be a natural blonde. "It's actually, um, blue."

"Prove it." God, I really hope that it _is_ blue, and he takes off his clothes to prove it, and then I prove I'm really this shade of red and –

"What, you're saying that you don't believe me? I'm insulted."

I laughed. "I'm not saying I don't believe you, but you know, there are a lot of liars about these days..."

"Okay, fine, I'll show you my chest hair." He stood up, shrugged off his jacket and grabbed the neckline of his shirt. "I warn you, I'm blindly pale and really skinny –"

"Oh, fuck off, you're not nearly as pale as I am." _Take your shirt off, take it off, please..._ "Look, are you stripping or what?"

"No _way_ am I stripping." Oh, well, I still have some footage of you getting changed for PE. Not to mention in the shower afterwards, and hey, now I know where you live... "But look." He pulled down his shirt's neckline just long enough for me to glimpse some of his creamy white skin and suddenly develop a rather painful boner in my very tight trousers, which, let's face it, was bound to happen sooner or later. "See? Blue."

"Oh, come on, that was _blonde_." I got up too and reached for his shirt, but he giggled and ducked away from me. Aw, he _giggled_. Now if I could just get that damn shirt off him... "No, come on, let me look properly..."

"I'll scream rape, Axel, I swear!" he laughed, as I wrapped my arms around him and started pulling at his shirt. "This is terrible, you know that? We're in a hospital, in the children's ward no less, and you're trying to get me naked."

"I knew you were lying, you're a natural blonde and that's why you're so slow." But it's fine, you can be as slow as you like, I'll go your speed... "And really, _blue_?"

"Well, have you seen Marluxia's hair?"

I snorted. "Because _that's_ so damn natural."

He shrugged, still in my arms. God, but these jeans were uncomfortable. "Vexen says it is."

"EW!" I let go of him then, only because I was going to end up molesting him otherwise. "So... I'll see you Saturday?"

"Well, we still have, you know, _school_ and shit, so I'll see you before then..." Hilarious how I had just been making fun of _him_ for being blonde, and now I was doing it. And I was a redhead so I had no excuse. "But yeah. Looking forward to doing your homework for you, you lazy fuck." I'm not a lazy fuck, Roxas, I swear, I'm really quite active in that department. "And ice cream."

"Cool."

So I was totally going to spit out my feelings for him this weekend. And then I could tell Henna all about it and she and Mr Bunny could be bridesmaids at my wedding.

Happy endings for all, right?

**It's just... impossible**

I fell into bed at almost midnight that night, exhausted from the panic attack in the hospital, and took a deep breath. I should probably get changed into some pyjamas or some shit...

Or you know, just throw off my T-shirt and trousers and sleep in my underwear. That worked too.

"Fuck, I'm tired," I muttered to myself. I could hear my parents' voices downstairs, low and worried and using my name far too often. "Ugh..."

Hang on.

I _swear_ that shadow outside my window was human.

And I _swear _that I could hear someone swearing.

"It's just your imagination," I told myself firmly. "Go the fuck to sleep."

Okay, that _really_ sounded like the noise that a camera makes when it's turned on.

I sat up and grabbed my baseball bat, just in case. (I don't even _play_ baseball, but Dad was all "You should at least own a bat" and I was all "Dad, I'm _gay_, buy me a Jonas Brothers album instead" and in the end he bought me both the bat and the CD.) I curled up in bed, my baseball bat tucked under my arm, and took out my cellphone. "Right... who can I call at nearly midnight?"

The logical choice was Hayner. He was still waiting on an answer about the whole relationship thing, but that didn't mean he wouldn't want to talk to me.

"Hey, Hayner."

"Hayner isn't here right now," said a very young male voice. "Dis is his lickle brother Kieran. D'you wan' me to take a message?"

Aw, he was adorable. I had never encountered Kieran before. "Um, sure, just tell him to call me if he gets a chance tonight."

"Okay. Is dere anyfing else I can do for you, sir?" Oh my God, he was so cute. I wanted kids like that when I grew up. I'd have to adopt, being incredibly homosexual and everything, but you know, they would still be _my_ kids.

"No thanks, Kieran. I'll see you around, all right?"

"Okay den. Goodbye, mister. Have a good evenin'." He hung up and I sighed. Well, that was adorable, but it didn't really help me that much.

I guess I could call Axel. He probably wouldn't mind me interrupting his beauty sleep. And if he did mind, well, he would mind a _lot_, because he is not a mild person. It wasn't like he needed any more beauty sleep, anyway.

...Erm... forget I said that.

"Hey, Axel."

"Oh! Oh, um... hi, Roxas! Um... everything okay?"

I sighed. "Not exactly. I think there's someone outside my house. I'm probably just being paranoid, but you know..."

"Oh, don't worry about – shit! _Fuck_, that hurt!"

"What hurt?" I asked.

"Um, nothing, just... just the corner of my coffee table." One of the trees outside was rustling like crazy. I tightened my grip on my baseball bat and took a deep breath. "Anyway. Don't worry about anything, you're just really tired. If you need to, you can come round my place, yeah? Or I'll come to yours and keep you safe."

I smiled. "That's really sweet of you, Axel, but see, the thing is... I haven't slept in my own house in what feels like forever, and I kind of miss it, you know?"

I decided I was too warm under my duvet and kicked it off, just sitting there in my underwear on the phone to Axel, as you do. "Yeah, I know," he said quietly. Was I being really weird, or was his breathing really heavy right now? Maybe I had the volume on my cellphone too high. "Everything's really shit for you, huh?"

"Yeah, it is. It's not great for you either, is it?" He was silent. "Axel, I know how lonely you must be. Your parents always gone and nobody but me and Demyx that you actually hang out with... doesn't it ever get to you?"

"Yeah," he said quietly, "it does."

"You need someone else. What about the guy you like?" I still wasn't convinced that it wasn't Demyx. "Do you ever talk to him, or are you just kind of admiring him from afar?"

Axel hissed – I think he was in pain – and then attempted to answer my question in a completely normal voice. "Um, a bit of both, I suppose." The rustling outside my window got even louder and I swallowed nervously. "Are you okay, Roxas?"

"Yeah, I am," I lied. It would be one thing if Naminé were in here with me, because she was always the level-headed one and I was always the drama queen. "Are you?"

"Eh, I've been more comfortable than this, but you know... I've got a pretty nice view."

"Where are you, anyway?" I half-laughed, settling down a little.

"Uh, I'm on my balcony. Like I said, really uncomfortable, but..."

"Are you lying? You kinda sound like you're lying." I reached over and grabbed some of Nami's moisturiser for the dry skin on my elbows. She had recommended it to me about a month ago and my life had just been too damn hectic to apply a dab of moisturising cream.

"No, no, Roxas, I'd _never_ lie to you, I swear," he said earnestly. For a second there was some kind of a shadow cast through my curtains that looked weirdly human, not for the first time that night, and I froze completely, taking deep breaths through my nose and clinging to the baseball bat like it was going to save me all on its own. "Are you sure you're okay?"  
>"Uh-huh," I squeaked. "Um... I should go now."<p>

"Okay, Roxas, sleep well."

"Night, Axel." I snapped my phone shut and tossed it onto the small pile of dirty laundry next to my bed, then wriggled my way under the covers.

I was just starting to drift off when there was a knock on my door. "Hnng?" I said by way of greeting, as my mother breezed in with a glass of water in her hand. "Oh... hey, Mom."

"Hello, sweetheart. Were you asleep?"

I shook my head. "Nah, I was just starting to –"

"Erm, why are you sleeping with a baseball bat?" she asked, perching on the edge of my bed as I struggled to sit up.

"Oh, I thought there was someone outside. Gotta be safe, right?"

She sighed. "Well, why didn't you come and get me or your dad?"

"Because I didn't wanna bother you," I muttered, taking the drink she handed me and sucking it down straight away, not even caring when icy water dripped onto my chest. Of course, my mother would notice I'm thirsty before I notice. "Is everything okay at the moment?"

"As okay as it can be under the circumstances, yes," Mom said, taking the empty glass from my hands and wiping my mouth with her sleeve like I was still seven. "We're really proud of you, Roxas. Not many kids would be working this hard for their little sister."

"Well, you know... Naminé always felt like my only friend, you know? Like, I had other people around, but she was the only one who really got to know me. Everyone else was just focused on me being pretty or smart or whatever, but Naminé really cared about me as a person, you know?"

"Yeah, sweetie, I know. Do you have any real friends now?" Mom frowned slightly as she tucked me back into bed, probably noticing the bruise on my left shoulder that I was convinced had something to do with Hayner.

"Well, there's this one guy, Axel..."

"Oh? A guy?" Mom smirked slightly at that and I blushed. "What's he like?"

"Oh, come on, Mom, I don't like him like that. He's nice enough. Really weird sometimes, and cocky as hell, but incredibly nice to me. And really supportive about Nami and he always pays for my ice cream –"

"And you're _sure_ you don't like him?" Honestly, my mother is such a... such a _girl_ sometimes. "Okay, baby, you get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning, all right?"

"Yeah. Night, Mommy."

"Night, Roxas." She left, shutting the door very quietly behind her, and I fell asleep in seconds, my arms still wrapped tightly around my baseball bat.

xxx

I'm tired. Listening to soundtracks of things like Starship and A Very Potter Musical and Mulan and Hercules, eating rainbow cake, and nearly asleep. So here's a chapter for you guys, and I apologise if it's shit, but I'm exhausted.

Go and read my oneshots. I don't know whether or not I've mentioned this before, but I wrote a XigDem one entitled Cheesecake for breakfast and a MarVex one called Differences. Please please please read them, I need to know whether you want me to keep doing oneshots or whether you want all of my attention and energy to go onto my bigger fics.

Hey, why don't you try out the nice shiny new review box? It's really fun, honest ;D


	20. Chapter 20

**Warning: **This right here is a Unicorn of death Fanfiction. For those of you who haven't read my other brilliantly amazing Fanfictions, that basically means that this thing will be filled with swearing, YAOI (dun dun duuun) and the occasional tasteless joke. Consider yourself warned.

**Disclaimer: **It's called Fanfiction because I am a FAN, not the owner of the damned characters.

**Roxas is just... impossible**

"Why are you so tired?"

I responded by groaning and thumping Demyx's shoulder, wishing it were a little more comfortable. "Long story."

"What were you doing last night? And why is there... um... plantlife on your head?" Demyx pulled a half-dead leaf out of my hair and eyed it with distaste.

"Um... well... I was in a tree."

The bus came to a sharp stop and I was tossed off Demyx's shoulder, nearly smacking my forehead on the seat in front of me. "Which tree? The huge apple tree in your back yard?"

"Yeah," I lied, pushing my videocamera further into my rucksack with my foot. "And I, um, I watched the sunrise."

Well, if I was at all poetic I could probably find a way to compare Roxas getting dressed in the morning to a sunrise of some sort. As it was, I just enjoyed it. A _lot._

Demyx was looking at me suspiciously. "What ever happened to "Sunrises are shit compared to Roxas"?"

I swallowed. "Well, I still like sunrises, it's just that Roxas is better."

"So you're telling me that you chose watching the sunrise over watching your videos of Roxas in the showers after PE?" Demyx wasn't buying it. Shit. "Hm... I find that difficult to believe, somehow."

"Shut up, okay? Why would I have leaves in my hair if I hadn't been in a tree all night?"

"Well, I'll give you that, but – wait. Wait. We are both thinking of the same tree here, right?" Demyx's face turned from mildly suspicious to irrationally furious. "Do _not _tell me that you were in Roxas's back yard –"

"Oh, yeah, actually I was. Anyone would think I was madly in love with him or something! Silly fucking me! But no, no, it's _fine _for you to run around kissing him like he's as cheap and easy as you –"

"Hey!" Demyx snapped, causing more than one head to turn our way. "Don't you fucking pull that on me, I'm not cheap or easy and you know it –"

"Oh, _really_? That's _fascinating_," I growled, "considering that you're somehow passing Xigbar's class in spite of only handing in one essay, somehow passing Luxord's having handed in, oh, I don't know, _jack shit_, and then there's the string of boyfriends beginning with Vexen and ending in – well, I don't know, because I doubt anyone would want to go near you in case they catch something nasty –"

"You bitch! You absolute little cunt, how could you _say_ that?" Demyx was getting most of the crowd's sympathy, being the pretty one with the charming smile and, at the moment, the tears summoned at will. "My sister's in hospital –"

"So is his," I hissed, "and you took advantage of that. You took advantage of his misery and his fearing for his sister –"

"You can't exactly talk about _taking advantage_, Axel. I saw you feeling him up in his sleep." My jaw dropped. That was one thing I actually hadn't done. Everyone was whispering and giving me the worst looks, almost all of them completely unaware of _who_ we were talking about. As long as it didn't get back to Roxas I couldn't care less. "You're a pitiful excuse for a human being –"

"And you aren't? While your sister is taking what could be her last breaths in the children's ward of the hospital, you're seducing everything with a dick just because –"

"Don't bring my sister into this!" Demyx roared, as the bus jolted to a sudden stop and the driver got out of his cabin.

"What's going on, boys?" he boomed, regarding us with slightly crossed brown eyes. "I won't have you distracting me while I'm driving! The others all want to get to school in one piece, don't you, kids?"

They all nodded like terrified bobbleheads.

"Axel started it," Demyx whimpered, retracting most of his body into his seat and pouting. The driver wasn't taking any of his bullshit, though. He scowled, his face like a thunderstorm in high summer, and approached us, the bus shaking under his boots.

"Names and classes. I'll be seeing that you're dealt with by the principal."

The rest of the bus winced in sympathy. Maleficent was not a good person to anger. (She was barely a person at all, now that I think about it.) Demyx started sniffling next to me.

I took a deep breath and said, "I'm Axel. Just tell her I'm the redhead, she'll know who you mean." It was almost boring, getting into trouble all the damn time. I only did it for Roxas, really.

"I-I can't see Maleficent, I'm... I'll get held back again, I'm so sick of it, _please_, sir," Demyx begged, practically waiting for the Oscar to land in his lap for the fantastic show he was putting on. "My little sister wanted me to get into college..."

"You know what, Dem? Fuck you." The bus driver's eyebrows spiked. "I'm so _sick_ of you getting away with everything, getting everything you want. The only thing I've got is way too much munny and a nice comfy spot in the friendzone of the guy I like. You enjoy getting off with every guy that takes your fancy. I'm done."

I pushed past the driver and stormed out of the bus, slamming the door behind me and walking in no real direction with my hands deep in my pockets. As the bus sped past me, I saw Demyx's pale face looking out of the window at me, a strange mix of remorse and "Haha, fuck you, I win". I swallowed hard, adrenaline thrumming through my veins as I kicked pebbles ahead of me, completely unaware of where I was going.

"Hey! Hey, you!" I turned on the spot. "Shouldn't you be in school, young man?" The man was tall, thin, and his bald head was starting to turn blotchy with age. "Do your parents know you're – Axel!"

"Yes, Joe, my parents do know I'm Axel." Joe grabbed my hand and started shaking it vigorously. "I haven't seen you in ages, you know."

"I know, I know, been so busy with the business and everything..." He squinted at me. "Are you okay, Axel? I mean, I can't say I'm surprised at you skipping school, but you look..."

"I'm just tired," I said easily. Well, I was tired. Staying up all night in a tree tends to tucker you out just a bit. "How's the business going?"

Joe runs a small business from home, some retail thing involving cars. I can't pretend I care, but I always asked because he was really flattered that I remembered, and it then gave me the right to bitch about my problems (mostly my parents, since Joe is a bit old-fashioned so I haven't come out to him yet).

"Ah, it's brilliant! Got an ad in the Sunday Twilight News for no cost at all because Ella's daughter is seeing the editor, it's getting quite serious, so you know," Joe winked, "we might be getting wedding invitations through the post some time in the near future!"

"Ooh, that'd be great," I said with an enthusiastic grin pressed onto my face. "Isn't it Ella's birthday soon?"

"Exactly a week before Christmas, yes," Joe nodded. "Speaking of which, who are you hoping to catch under the mistletoe this year? Anyone in particular?"

I shrugged. "Nah, not really."

Joe nodded. "You know, Ella wanted to try setting you up with one of her daughter's best friends. I had to dive in and stop her. You wouldn't have liked Christine, really. Far too dull for you, I thought, all mousy-haired and vacant, wants to be a vet or a doctor or something awful like that. I thought you'd hate me forever if I let Ella set you up with her."

"Nah, Joe, I couldn't hate you if I tried. Hey, um, do you know if my parents are planning to be back by Christmas?"

Joe sighed. "I'm not sure, Axel, I'm sorry. You really shouldn't be alone for the holidays, you know. Never liked your parents' habit of flying off all over the place and leaving you alone, but what can I do when they're my main financial backers?"

I shrugged. The cold truth was that without my parents throwing their munny around, I wouldn't have met Joe and Ella and the others who worked for Joe's company, and I also wouldn't still be in this school. They had threatened to throw me out hundreds of times, but they never did, because they were getting sizeable donations from my family on a regular basis.

"Well, anyway, I hope things go well for you. Never hesitate to call me, you got that, young man? You could always spend Christmas with me if you like." Joe's son died in a motorcycle accident two years ago. I always feel like a replacement.

"I think I might stay with Demyx this year," I lied. I had no intention of staying at Demyx's house over Christmas, however much his mother begged me to. I felt like an intruder most days, but with Henna ill...

"Okay. Have a good one."

Yeah, right.

**A bit about Hayner**

"So... what?"

"What what?" I asked slowly. Hayner and I were sitting on the pipe outside the boys' bathroom, our asses burning because the pipe was meant to be carrying hot water to every radiator in school. "Are you expecting me to turn around and tell you that I'm madly in love with you?"

"Roxas, we're in the same boat here. We both have little sisters who are seriously ill –"

"Hayner..." I said, "...with all due respect and everything... it's kind of different for you." He waited for my explanation. "See, you live in a house filled with people, life, laughter. I only ever had Naminé. She was my only real friend when I was younger, she knows everything about me and I know everything about her, she's helped me through everything..." I sighed. "I'm not saying it's worse for me, because I know it hurts like fuck, but... do you even know Henna's middle name? Or her favourite colour?"

He shook his head. "No, I don't. But I wish I did. At least you were smart enough to get to know your little sister _before_ she wound up hooked up to life support."  
>I sighed. "I think we're getting a little off-topic here. My point was, I don't know what you want me to say."<p>

"Yes?" he said hopefully, brown eyes finding mine and looking more human than I was used to them.

"But..." I closed my eyes tight, not wanting to see him looking at me like that. "Hayner, I think I like someone else."

I could hear his disappointment in his voice. "Who?" he asked softly. "Is it who I think it is?"

"Tall, skinny, rich?"

"Red hair, green eyes, major attitude problem..."

"The only person to ever make me feel safe..."

"Constantly being teased by Demyx about the guy he likes..."

"Five miles out of my league..."

"Not really, if anything you're out of his..."

I laughed. "Erm, on what planet?"

"On the planet where I love you and want you to be happy." Hayner stood up and stretched. "I did everything I could to win you over. I guess that now the redhead should get his turn to woo you."

"That's the thing, Hayner, I can't picture him wooing anyone. He didn't win me over, he just was him and that was enough to... well..."

"To attract you. Huh, wish I'd known that sooner." Hayner shrugged. "Well, good luck with him. Let me know if he lets you down."

I laughed hollowly. "I don't even think anything would happen, you know. Apart from anything else, I think he likes Demyx."

Hayner started laughing insanely hard, his face going pink and the laughter sound itself fading into squeaking and shaking and clapping his hands together like a seal. "Sorry... Sorry, Rox, it's just that, well, Axel would rather commit suicide than hold hands with my brother, never mind any shenanigans."

"R-Really?"

He collected himself a little, wiping tears from his eyes. "Yeah, really. I'm not sure who he _does_ like, but you don't have to worry about it being Demyx. Anyway, I heard that the two of them had a massive argument on the school bus this morning."

"Oh, that sucks. Maybe I'll talk to him about it."

"Yeah, go for it! Let him cry on your shoulder and then offer to take his mind off it and then get laid! Simple!" I laughed in spite of myself. "Listen, Roxas... just go out there and be happy, right?"

"Yeah. Promise you won't wait for me or anything dumb like that?" Hayner nodded. "Cool. I'm gonna go and, you know..."

"Woo your redhead, yeah." Hayner sighed. "I'm going to go and hit on Olette until Pence gets pissed and throws stuff at me. Good luck with Axel."

I nodded. "You're a great friend, Hayner. Thanks."

"Can I have one kiss before you go and make orange-haired babies with the juvenile delinquent?" Hayner asked, batting his eyes at me. I sighed.

"_Fine_, one kiss, but only because you've been so supportive about everything." I leaned forwards and kissed him very lightly on the lips, then ducked away.

"That hardly counts for anything, you pussy! C'mere, you have to do it properly." I giggled. Something about this was oddly similar to the one kiss (_just_ one, _only_ once, although Axel seems to care a lot more than most people who are just your friend would) that I had had with Demyx a while ago. Hayner smelt pretty similar, and he flirted in sort of the same style as his older brother. But it felt lacking, powerless – one kiss with Hayner or Demyx did less for me than a single look at Axel. It felt sort of warm and comforting, but nothing more. There was no energy, no spark.

In short, it was like kissing your grandma.

"There, that's how you – oh, shit. Shit, fuck, shit."

"What?" I asked, turning around even though I suddenly felt sick to my core. "Axel..."

He was just standing there like a deer in the headlights, like a rabbit faced with a gun, like a... like a...

Like a jealous teenage boy.

"What... Roxas... what..." He swallowed. "You and..."

"It's not what you think, I _swear_." Hayner took a step back because Axel had suddenly regained motor skills again and was advancing on us. "Axel, hear me out –"

"You little _bitch_," he snarled, pinning Hayner to the wall.

"Axel!" I said sharply. "Axel –"

"You can shut the fuck up, Roxas." Well, that shut me the fuck up. He was not a fun person to be around when he was angry. "What the _fuck _were you two doing?"

"I was... I was trying to get into Roxas's pants. It wasn't him. It was all me."

"Um, no, Hayner –" I began, but Axel turned and glared at me and I almost recoiled.

"Are you telling me," he said, suddenly a lot quieter and a _lot_ scarier, "that you and him were kissing, and that you were one hundred percent okay with it?"

"Don't be a bitch to Roxas," Hayner said quietly from the wall to which Axel had pinned him.

"Don't tell me what to do." Axel let go of Hayner. "Fine. I'll leave you two to it."

"To _what_? We weren't _doing_ anything!" I snapped. "He kissed me because I said I was going to go and find the guy I like and try and woo him, and he was just wishing me luck and _finally_ giving up on me, _thank fuck_, and woo is a fucking _stupid_ word, and I'm so _sick_ of this!" I turned away. "If either of you follow me..."

"Roxas..." Axel said weakly.

"Rox, c'mon..." Hayner beseeched me, as I began shuffling down the corridor, my head hung and my teeth tight together.

The thing is, they've got it okay. Axel never loved anyone enough to miss them if they went, and Hayner is the least dependant person you'll ever come across in your life. They didn't have anyone that they couldn't bear to lose. But if Naminé died...

I shook my head. There was no point being pessimistic about it. I was just going to have to take life as it came. The only problem with that was that at the moment, it was coming all over the place (hahaha I made a sex joke) and I was getting really sick of it.

xxx

Hey, you guys. I just did something stupid :/ Ah, well. Long story short, people will be disappointed in me tomorrow. But today isn't tomorrow, so I'mma just upload fanfiction.

Something deeply troubles me, you know. This fic is way more popular than My sister talks to fire and my brother is gay. I know that fic is longer. I know it's not everyone's cup of tea. But please, I beseech you from the bottom of my heart (haha, bottom) to at least have a look at it. I love it to pieces, I'm really proud of it. And The Babysitter, but that's only if you're into XigDem, and it's my first canonical chaptered fic, (as in, it's the first one that fits into the actual KH storyline) so it might not be perfect. But PLEASE go read them. Don't be boring old hats and just stick to one fic, okay? Thanks in advance. I really love you guys. I think I would actually be dead right now if not for fanfiction.


	21. Chapter 21

**Warning: **This right here is a Unicorn of death Fanfiction. For those of you who haven't read my other brilliantly amazing Fanfictions, that basically means that this thing will be filled with swearing, YAOI (dun dun duuun) and the occasional tasteless joke. Consider yourself warned.

**Disclaimer: **It's called Fanfiction because I am a FAN, not the owner of the damned characters.

**A bit about Roxas**

"You might wanna go after him."

I was going to rip Hayner's throat out and write my next essay in his blood.

"Axel?" the little blonde slimeball said, poking me in the shoulder. "The guy we both like just stormed off looking like he was gonna cry. Are you going after him, or should I?"  
>"You fucking <em>dare<em>," I growled, grabbing his wrist so hard that I felt something click, "and I will massacre every last person you care about... with the exception of Roxas, obviously."

Hayner gulped and nodded. Fucking pussy, if he actually _liked_ Roxas he would be sticking up to me, at least a little bit.

"Any idea where he might have gone?" I asked, looking down the corridor like it was more likely to tell me the truth than Hayner was, which, let's face it, was true.

"Probably into the bathroom, or, I dunno, maybe a lesson." Hayner shrugged. "You'll find him, don't worry."

It was like he barely cared that Roxas was so upset.

I sped along the corridor, noticing Demyx eyeing me nervously as he went into Luxord's classroom. Stupid fucking manwhore, I was still _extremely _pissed at him for being a dick in every way it is possible to be a dick – kissing _my_ Roxas, not telling me, using _Henna_ of all fucking things to try and worm his way out of trouble... Really, he was such a dick. I was sick of it.

"Roxas?" I called. "Roxas?"

"He just went into there," said a helpful voice. I turned and saw Selphie and Kairi, hand in hand, with Selphie pointing to the nurse's office. "He said he had a headache and really wanted to go home."

"Thanks, girls. Nice to see you're not fighting any more, I have to say. You're really cute together."

They both smiled at each other. I didn't really mean a word of it, but it's always good to stay on the right side of girls like Kairi and Selphie because they have a finger in everyone's pie.

They smiled at each other and then at me, and Kairi chirped, "Good luck with Roxas, you'll do great."

How could she know? I mean, it was really really obvious... but still, how could she know?

"Thanks," I muttered, taking a deep, much-needed breath and turning towards the nurse's office. "See you two around."

They nodded, walking away perfectly in step, and I decided that if – _when _Roxas and I were a couple, we wouldn't be that creepy and in sync and just plain unnatural.

"Roxas? You in here?" I swallowed. "Roxas?"

"Leave." He looked at me through his fringe, a small white plastic cup in his left hand, probably holding some kind of painkiller.

"Roxas..."

"I don't need you fucking with my head any more, Axel, and I _especially_ don't need you getting angry at me for stuff that Hayner did." He tipped his head back and took the medicine, pulling a face at what had to be an ugly, bitter taste. "I told you not to follow me. Just leave."

"Roxas, I'm _sorry_, I just... I've had a shit day, you know, Demyx was a dick this morning and I was going to skip school but I wanted to see you, and I'm gonna get into shit with Maleficent for yelling at Demyx on the bus... but I wanted to see you." My mind was pretty hazy and I could only really focus on one thing at a time. "I wanted to see you," I repeated, a little softer.

"Whatever." He stood up. "I'm going to class."

"Roxas!" I grabbed his arm, wincing when his face changed from pissed off to _really _pissed off. "Roxas, I know you're pissed at me and I don't blame you for a second. I can't _believe_ I yelled at you like that earlier. I'm really mad at myself for that, you know. But please just be pissed at me _in my presence_. Don't walk off, please..."

"You're a dick." He tried to pull away from me, but I had a kind of maybe quite painful grip on his upper arm and he hissed. "Let _go_."

"No. Roxas, please, just... please, I, um..." I sighed. "Okay, I can't speak. I just..."

"Let me _go_, Axel." He sounded really upset but I was desperate, and I don't think I would forgive myself if I just let him storm off. "I will scream, and the nurse'll come out, and you will be in _so much shit_." Even in this situation, I had to admit it was really, really, _really_ hot when he was angry, and when he swore, and especially when he swore angrily.

"Roxas..." My voice cracked halfway through his name. "I'm so sorry."

"Why do you even care about me, Axel? What have I ever done for you?"

I swallowed. Somehow "Helped me masturbate" or "Fuelled countless fantasies about our marriage" didn't seem like appropriate responses. "Don't you get it?" I said quietly, barely thinking about what I was saying. "Roxas... I... _fuck_, how can you not understand by now?"

He scowled at me. "Well maybe it's because I'm really fucking blonde."

"I like blondes," I blurted out. "Look, Roxas, I... you're my best friend, okay?"

"Sure I am. And I guess that Pence is Olette's best friend, too." What did that mean? Was he hinting? Please, God, let him be hinting. "Let me go, you nutjob."

"Roxas..." I sighed and tapped the toes of my left foot against the heel of my right. "Are you still coming over to my place this weekend?"

"Yeah, I am. I need the munny. Now will you _please_ let go of my arm?"

"What do you want me to do, Roxas?" I asked desperately, still not letting go of his slender, muscled, beautiful, amazing upper arm, warm pressing through the thin layer of clothing that separated his body from me. "I know you're pissed at me, okay, and... and I hate that. Can I make it up to you somehow?" Preferably with sex?

"Um, you can start by letting go of me," he said sharply, tugging away from me again with an adorable little grunt.

"Promise you won't just walk off to class if I let go?" He nodded, his hair bouncing a little. I was entranced by his soft blonde hair and the idea of wrapping my hands in it, tugging it, pulling it until his head was precisely where I wanted it, and then after all the shenanigans, running my fingers through it as I whispered things into his ear. "Okay." I let go of his arm and he rubbed at it, looking sort of less angry now. "Shit, did I hurt you?"  
>"How could you<em> not <em>have hurt me? Do you have any idea how tightly you were holding my arm?" he snapped, and I winced. "Okay, you want to make up for being a dick? _Stop being a dick_. It's that simple."

"Roxas..." I sighed again. "I'm really sorry."

"This is what I _mean_," he growled. Ooh, _growling. _That was hot. "You do dumb shit and then you make _me_ feel bad about it by doing the whole "I'm a pathetic lonely kid and I'm sorry to have upset you even the tiniest bit" routine, and it really annoys me."

"I'm sorry," I said again, then bit my lip. "I... ah... it isn't a routine. And you're the only person I do that to."

"Wow, don't I just feel special." He almost smiled, though. I loved his smile. I especially loved his eyes and eyelashes and the creases around his eyes when he smiled and the lips and everything, really. "You're so _difficult_."

"What do you mean?" I asked nervously.

"I mean, you're a nutcase, which would be one thing if I didn't really like you, but I do." You like me. FUCK. You like me. Oh, fuck, you like me... "You just... I actually like hanging out with you. And it's just so shitty because you're such a tough person to hang out with, like, you're so _damn_ weird, but I feel kind of responsible for you, you know?"

"Yeah," I nodded, barely able to speak. Please let him like me at least a little tiny bit as much as I like him. "You know, you're difficult too."

"Oh? How am I?" He raised a perfect little eyebrow at me, his mouth rising on one side slightly.

_Because you're so damn tempting but you won't just take off your clothes and let me fuck you. _"Because, uh, you're so oblivious sometimes. And slow. Blonde, you know." I reached out and twisted a lock of his hair around one of my fingers, taking care to be very, very gentle after I had accidentally hurt his arm earlier.

"Oblivious? When am I oblivious?"

I grinned. "I'm not gonna explain."

He pouted. _Oh FUCK_. "Fine, if you're not gonna tell me, I'm going to class."

"Wait!" He turned around on his way out of the door, which was kind of a shame because I had really been enjoying the view of his ass. "Are we, uh, are we friends again?"

He nodded, his face splitting into a full smile, and I almost whimpered. "Sure we are, Axel." _Say my name again oh my fuck I like it when you do that..._ "See you soon, yeah?"

"Mm-hmm." I swallowed. He was _so_ hot...

Fuck. I was now really hard.

**Admitting to myself**

I sat in the back of the classroom so that I could doodle. My arm kind of hurt from where Axel had decided to grab me really forcefully, but at least the headache was gone.

"Hey, Roxas," Hayner hissed. I turned towards him, trying to get used to the idea that he wasn't going to grope me at every opportunity. "How'd it go with Axel?"

"How did you know I was talking to Axel? I went to the nurse to get some painkillers because I had a really bad headache. He just kind of... showed up." I thought for a moment. "He shows up pretty often, now that I think about it."

"Huh, funny that. It's like he _likes _you or something." Hayner wiggled his eyebrows at me and I laughed. "I'm serious, Roxas, I think you're in with a chance."

"Thanks, Hayner. You're actually not bad when you're trying to get into my pants, you know that?"

"Oh really?" he laughed, bumping my knee with his. "I guess maybe I should have spent more time being your friend and less time trying to seduce you."

"Well, now you know for the next guy that comes around," I said, returning to the cloud I was sketching on the last page of my notebook. "But yeah, um, Axel got really upset."

"How come?"

"Because I was pissed at him for yelling at me earlier, and he wanted me to forgive him. He was all "How can I make it up to you?" and I was all "Just stop being such a dick!" which kind of didn't go over as well as I'd hoped."

Hayner chuckled. "You know I'm still going to try and nail you every time I'm drunk, and maybe if I'm really horny and Axel's left you alone for a week or two."

I raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, right, because me and Axel are _totally_ going to end up together."

"Well, why not? You like him, he likes you, it's _really_ simple!" Hayner insisted, grabbing my pencil from me and scrawling "I love Axel" on the top of my page. "Look. It _looks_ right, that written on your notebook next to all your gay doodles."

"Can you really call me gay, considering all the times you've tried to get me into bed?"

Hayner smirked. "You know... um... if ever you get bored of the whole one-guy thing, or if you and Axel split up, or you're just really really horny..."

"Oh, shut up, Hayner, you _promised _you weren't gonna hit on me any more."

"I never said that, I just said I'd let Axel have his turn at wooing you. And he's nowhere around, so..."

I sighed. "You're a dickbag."

"You're adorable."

"Roxas! Hayner!" We both jolted and looked to the front. Xigbar was glaring at us, having looked away from Demyx for what was probably the first time today. "Is there something wrong?"

"No, sir. Sorry." I ducked my head down and started actually working for about two minutes, then went back to doodling. I could always finish the classwork at home. "Hayner, I hate you."

"You don't hate me. I'm Demyx's brother, who could hate me?" It was interesting to see that both Demyx and Xigbar twitched at the mention of Demyx's name. "Speaking of Demyx, any idea whether he and Axel have made up yet?"

"No, sorry. They will eventually though, right?"

Hayner sighed. "Well, they had better do it soon. See, the only reason that Axel is going to pass this subject – well, the only way he's going to pass this grade, actually – is Demyx. You know, because he has the majority of the teachers in this place wrapped around his little finger..."

"Wrapped around his dick, more like," I muttered, and Hayner laughed. "I mean, you know, he's a really nice guy, but he is _such_ a whore sometimes."

"Yeah, he is. Has he ever hit on you?"

"Um, no, not really," I lied, thinking about all the subtle innuendoes and sly grins and winks and that one kiss that had taken place when Axel wasn't around. I knew for a fact that Demyx liked Xigbar, so his only real reason for hitting on me was because it pissed Axel off, and sometimes could prove quite convenient for him as well.

"Good, good. Axel wouldn't be happy, you know. If he did, I mean." Hayner drummed his pencil on the table. "I do worry about Demyx, you know."

"Yeah, I think everyone does. He's just so... he doesn't really understand the consequences of his actions a lot of the time, does he?" I sighed. "I'm exhausted, you know."

"How come?"  
>I shrugged. "I was tired, but I couldn't sleep last night. I had this weird suspicion that there was someone or something outside my bedroom window." I forced a laugh. "Weird, right?"<p>

"I bet it was Axel," Hayner grinned. "Watching you get dressed... watching you jack off..."

"Shut up, I don't jack off!"

"Oh, come on, Roxas, everyone does it."

"I don't. At least, I hardly ever do. Only when I'm really horny or whatever."

Hayner raised an eyebrow. "So, like, every time you and Axel have physical contact."

"You're such a dick," I muttered, going back to my doodling.

After a few more painfully long minutes I heard Hayner's phone buzz in his pocket. "Shit. That'll be my parents, they were meant to be talking to the doctors about Henna. Cover me, right?"

How I was supposed to cover him I'm not sure, but he pulled out his phone to read the text. I waited for the news with baited breath, because even though I had never even met Henna properly, she sounded adorable, and plus, whatever could be used to help her could also be used to help Naminé. And apart from anything else, I felt really bad that she was ill. I felt responsible. I hadn't known when I kissed Demyx that I could carry Nami's illness, sure, but just because I didn't mean to didn't mean that it wasn't my fault.

"Roxas," Hayner said slowly, his eyes sliding up to Xigbar who was still standing at Demyx's desk, playing footsie with him by the look of things, "Henna... Henna's booked in for surgery on Friday night. The doctors don't really think she'll make it. This is a sort of... last resort."

I swallowed. "That's really..."

"And they told us," he carried on, "...well, they told my parents that really, we should spend Friday saying our goodbyes, you know." He looked like he was going to cry. "I can't believe this. I just... how could she _die_?"

"Hayner... doctors are always told to prepare you for the worst, right? So they're gonna make it sound like she's definitely going to, you know, go, but actually she might just be fine."

Hayner sniffed. "You think so?"

"I know so. Do you think that Demyx got the message yet?" I nodded towards Demyx, who was at the front of the class batting his eyes at Xigbar, who was trying and failing to ignore him in favour of actually doing some kind of teaching.

"Doesn't look like it." Hayner sighed. "Do you think that he actually likes Xigbar, or do you think it's all just an act?"

"I think he actually likes Xigbar. The thing with Luxord, now _that_'s artificial. I mean, I don't really know, but..." I shrugged and started shading in a guy's face on my doodle. "Fuck, but I'm tired."

"Yeah, I know you are. You look tired."

"Wow, thank you so much. I'm really, really flattered, truly." Hayner grinned. "Nah, I know I look like shit. Do you think Axel noticed?"

"Are you kidding? The way Axel looks at you, you'd think that you're naked all the time."

"Wait, what do you mean?" I asked slowly, realising that Axel might not actually be that wrong when he says I'm oblivious and, well, blonde.

Hayner rolled his eyes. "Be-_cause_, he's practically eye-fucking you most of the time, haven't you noticed? I swear to God he _drools_ every time even the slightest sliver of your skin becomes visible. Waist, wrists, ankles, anything. He's _obsessed_, Roxas."

"Yeah, right," I laughed, wishing, just _wishing _that it were true.

xxx

I apologise to anyone I may have offended so far in this fic. That includes blondes, Twilight fans, people who (for some bizarre reason beyond my comprehension) ship Roxas with Hayner... anyway. I apologise to you all. I love you very much, and without you this story would not still be in existence.

I wanna ask you again to go read and review my other fics. This story isn't going to last forever and I'm almost certainly not going to write a sequel, so you guys should get into my other stuff, and then maybe you could feed me some ideas for my next chaptered fic? I'd love that, you know. In the meantime, review this one, give me chocolate, and other such attention-whoreish requests.


	22. Chapter 22

**Warning: **This right here is a Unicorn of death Fanfiction. For those of you who haven't read my other brilliantly amazing Fanfictions, that basically means that this thing will be filled with swearing, YAOI (dun dun duuun) and the occasional tasteless joke. Consider yourself warned.

**Disclaimer: **It's called Fanfiction because I am a FAN, not the owner of the damned characters.

**Admitting to Roxas**

More as a giant "Fuck you" to Demyx than anything, I decided to spend another night in Roxas's pear tree, creeping on him as usual through his thankfully not curtained bedroom window. He should really invest in some blinds. Who knows who could be watching him getting dressed otherwise?

"Fuck," I hissed, as the palm of my left hand was sliced open by a particularly pointy branch. "I hate you, you fucking tree."

I'm not insane, ohoho. It's just sleep deprivation.

I bit my lip as Roxas strolled into his bedroom, _shirtless_. Oh, fuck. _Fuck_. He had the cutest little body ever, pale skin stretched over just enough muscle, and I watched eagerly as he bent over to pick up his cellphone and check it. Mm, he was pretty flexible... that would come in very handy...

I froze completely when he looked out of the window. I was pretty sure I was hidden, and it was beginning to get dark, but I was still terrified by the idea of being spotted. He frowned – he has such a sexy little frown, I just want to smooth the creases off his forehead with my thumb and then lick his jaw, trail down his neck, that long, soft neck... okay, if there is anything that the internet has taught me, it's that jacking off in a tree is a terrible idea, so I'm gonna stop now – anyway, he frowned as if he could sense the presence of a pervert – I mean, a person – outside of his house. I held my breath, stayed completely still, and waited. Just waited. After a second or two that felt more like a year, he shrugged – those shoulders, dammit, I was going to dig my fingernails into those shoulders one day soon – and left the room. I relaxed, shifting my weight a little on the branch I sat on and trying not to think too hard about the possibility of him coming back into his room with even fewer items of clothing on. God, what I wouldn't give to see him naked (again – although really, showering in the PE changing rooms barely counted, since half the time he was covered in soap, which was incredibly erotic but I barely saw anything). I shuddered even at the thought of it, his beautiful body...

My phone rang. Shit.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Axel." Oh, fuck, it was him, saying my name, his voice, saying my name... "You okay?"

"Yeah, I am. I'm great." Come back into your bedroom and strip for me. "Are you?"

"Yeah, I just... I wanted to apologise for being a moody bitch earlier."

A moody bitch? Erm, no, you were just upset, and _really_ sexy, especially when you growled at me, your eyes dark... "You weren't being a moody bitch, Roxas. You were just upset with me. It was my fault." And I enjoyed every second of it, even if I did handle the situation really fucking badly. "Don't worry about it, all right?"

He sighed. I bet I could make him sigh... and scream... "Look, I was a bitch. And I'm sorry."

"Stop apologising." I sounded really sharp and I didn't even mean to. "Just... stop."

There was a silence. Then, "I really don't like it when you get pissed at me like that," he said softly, and I very nearly threw myself out of the tree right then.

"I'm sorry," I said quietly, swinging my legs a bit. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." He had suddenly perked up again. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he was trying to manipulate me. "Am I still okay to come over at the weekend?"

"Yeah, yeah, of course." I tried to shut down the part of my brain that was whipping up (whipping, mm, Roxas and bondage, that's a nice idea...) various different ways in which I could get Roxas into my bed and keep him there all weekend. "Um... any particular reason you called me?"

"Just to say sorry for being all pissy with you earlier, I guess." There was a long pause in which I fought the temptation to berate him for apologising again. "And because I like talking to you."

My breath caught in my throat as he walked back into his room, still shirtless, gripping a chocolate bar and licking chocolate off his chin. I could get that for you, Roxas... "Um... I..." I couldn't think how to respond to _I like talking to you_ in the face of a shirtless Roxas chewing, his tongue darting out again to lick his lips slowly, and oh _fuck_ I was going to do _things_ to him soon... "I like you too. I-I mean, I like _talking_ to you... um..."

He laughed, finishing his chocolate bar. I could hear him chewing on the other end of the phone. "I like you, Axel. You're insane and everything, but I like you." My heart thudded relentlessly in my chest, and I was so focused on Roxas that I could barely feel the twigs digging into me. "Hey, uh, do you want to come over to my place tonight? I just, like... I have nothing to do, you know, and my parents are out..."

Is he asking me what I think he's asking me?

"Um, well, I don't know... I mean, I've got loads of homework to do..." I laughed and so did he. "Okay, so you're asking me to get my lazy ass out of bed and walk to your house and hang out with you?"

"Yeah, if you have nothing better to do." I actually saw him shrug again, and wondered whether he had that thing where you keep forgetting you're on the phone and try and get your point across with body language. "I mean, my place isn't interesting or anything, but..."

"Nah, it's cool. I'll come over. I'll probably be, like, ten minutes." I was already starting to slip down the tree, hoping not to get any more leaves stuck in my hair. "I'll see you soon, right?"

"Yeah, that'll be cool. See you then."

I took a deep breath and managed to plant my feet on the ground, leaning against the tree trunk with my knees shaking violently. Not only had Roxas just said that he liked me (and called me insane, which we can overlook, and anyway, he _makes_ me insane) and strutted around shirtless eating chocolate (I had had more than a few chocolate-related dreams in which Roxas and I did things with confectionery that made eating chocolate in public sort of awkward for me now), but I was actually a little bit weird about heights, and Roxas's pear tree wasn't small. (Haha, that sounds like I'm talking about his dick. Well, you know, I did get a glimpse of it in the PE changing rooms, and it definitely wasn't small... fuck, now I was thinking about it... I really needed to stop thinking about Roxas's genitals before I found myself incredibly turned on and... oh. Too late.)

Okay. I now had to just hide in Roxas's back yard for ten minutes so that he didn't think I was clingy and eager and shit. Well, truth be told, there was no way in hell I could have got to his house in less than ten minutes, and I didn't want him to put two and two together and figure out that I'd been hanging around in his neighbourhood that evening. Blonde as he was, even he could make the connection between me knowing where he lives and me being where he lives.

My phone rang again. I checked the screen, my heart falling a couple of notches when I saw that it wasn't Roxas. In actual fact, it was Demyx. I took a deep breath, knowing that if I answered it now I would have to keep my voice down so as not to draw the attention of a certain sexy blonde in the house whose garden I was standing in. "Demyx," I greeted him harshly, looking down at the cut in my hand where one of the branches on Roxas's tree had cut me earlier.

"Axel... um... hi." I rolled my eyes. "I just wanted to apologise for being a dick, um, because Xigbar told me to."

I could hear Xigbar laughing and talking in the background. I sighed. "You're _still_ being a dick, you know."

"Hey, just because _you_ can't get laid –" Demyx broke off, and I heard what sounded a lot like Zexion saying something about "unnecessary comments about Axel's sex life". Oh, God, half the teaching staff at my school were currently shagging my best friend and finding out about my persisting virginity. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I just... can we be friends?"

I took a deep breath. "You're a dick. But you need me to look after you, don't you?"

"Yeah, yeah, I do." He sounded very eager to be my friend again, and I had to wonder just what he was doing, and why he was doing it.

"Okay. We can be friends again. But if you ever even _think_ about _looking_ at Roxas again I will stab you in every place that Xigbar has ever touched."

"But – but that's everywhere!" he whined, and my stomach cringed. "Ax-_el_!"

"I mean it, Demyx," I growled, my fist curling inside my pocket at the very thought of Demyx going anywhere near Roxas. And, to a lesser extent, the thought of whatever he and Xigbar had been doing. "What are you even doing right now?"

"I'm just hanging out in the staffroom with Xigbar, Zexion, Xemnas..."

"Not Luxord?" I asked scathingly, meaning for it to be a snide comment about Demyx's many, many sexual partners. Demyx being Demyx, though, it went straight over his head.

"Nah, he's busy tonight. He'll be really pissed that he missed out, though, you know what he's like." There was a murmur of agreement in the background and I had to wonder whether I was on speaker or something. "Shit! Xigbar, don't – okay, Axel, I'd better go..."

I gave up on him and pressed "End Call."

**Letting people in**

I was just looking for a shirt when I caught sight of something in my room.

It was Naminé's diary, hidden under her pillow like all teenage girls.

Now, sharing a room with Naminé meant that I could have invaded her privacy at any time. I could have read her texts after she fell asleep every night. I could have read her diary, had I cared enough to look for it. Really, there was no need – apart from anything else, until she went into hospital, I believed that I knew everything about my little sister. She told me everything... didn't she?

I picked it up, completely forgetting that I should be getting a shirt on before Axel showed up all cocky and attractive and green-eyed and... um. I said nothing.

_Dear diary_,

_Roxas still has no idea, thank God. I'm hiding it well, I think. I mean, the visible symptoms aren't that impressive or anything, just bloodshot eyes and a nasty cough and the weird rash thing on my leg, but he's a clever boy, and he'd put the pieces together pretty quickly if given half a chance._

_If he finds out, he'll be heartbroken._

_I don't know whether or not I'm going to hospital yet. Dad doesn't know, either. The only four people in this world that know are myself, the doctor, Mom and Larxene. I don't even know when I started hanging out with Larxene, but for some reason I trust her a lot. Apart from anything else, I couldn't bring myself to tell Rox and Dad how I caught it. (I can't spell its name. Or even say it. Larxene can, but then, she's Larxene. She can do a lot of things.) Imagine sitting down with your dad and brother and telling them that you kissed a small black-haired girl in a bar that you weren't even supposed to be at, and now she's in hospital and you have her symptoms. Of course, Mom gave me a bit of a lecture, but as far as she's concerned the damage is done and now it's all about keeping an eye on my condition, and calling the hospital the second anything gets worse._

_Larxene calls me every single day to make sure I'm okay. And sometimes comes over, when Rox is at Hayner's. We've agreed that the fact that we're friends isn't something we want to advertise. I can think of a few people who would be a little uneasy at the thought of adorable, innocent little Nami hanging around with Larxene, who sleeps with guys for cash and owns three vibrators and at least one pair of handcuffs. (I've been inside her room. It was a terrifying experience.) It's a shame because I think that Roxas would like her. She takes a bit of getting used to, but she's hilarious, and really caring when she wants to be._

_She's also a good hugger, and she smells really good, but I shouldn't think stuff like that, because apart from anything else, she's straight._

_Anyway, I think dinner's nearly ready, and I'm a little shaky, so I should stop writing_.

_x_

I took a deep breath and set the diary down on Naminé's bed. She _knew_ she was ill. She even knew _how_ she got ill. A small black-haired girl in a bar... could that have been Xion? I didn't even know that Naminé liked girls. I mean, I don't give a fuck, as long as she's relatively happy, but it's odd to think that we're both gay. So, actually, our parents may never get grandchildren.  
>It hit me that my mother seemed to know <em>everything.<em> I had never had to come out to her, you know. She just _knew_. And she often asked me about guys. I could hardly believe that she just _let Nami off the hook_ for being in a bar, but then I guess she was ill at the time, and I doubt that she actually drank much. She threw up after two glasses of wine at Christmas once.

Then there was the issue of Larxene. I'd had _no clue_ that they were hanging out. (I'd had my suspicions that Larxene slept with guys for cash, but I didn't know she owned three vibrators. Why did Naminé even know that? And why did she feel the need to mention it in her diary?) From the looks of it, Naminé had a little bit of a crush on Larxene. That worried me because she was such a bitch, and so reckless, and Naminé was as likely to catch something nasty from her as she was from hanging out in a brothel. Hey, that could be Larxene's nickname, the One-Woman Brothel.

I think I'm having hysterics.

Frantically I picked up my sister's diary again and started leafing through it, looking for nothing in particular, maybe my name or Larxene or –

_He's called Axel_.

I froze, took a deep breath, and found the beginning of that entry. The first paragraph or so was about what she'd had for breakfast, which probably mattered a lot more to her than it did to me, so I skipped it.

_Roxas has an admirer. He's called Axel. Well, if Larxene is telling the truth. Apparently Axel is Demyx's best friend (Demyx is a sweetheart, but he needs to stop throwing himself in front of every guy who's remotely interested – I think he does that because his parents have so many kids to look after that they can't stretch their energy and affection to everyone all the time. That's what I think) and apparently Larxene overheard them talking about Roxas. In her exact words, "I wouldn't have given a shit, but I know Roxas is your brother and I know you really care about him so I did a bit of sneaking around for ya. Don't look at me like that, you gigantic softie, it's not like it was any trouble."_

_She called me cute today. She bought me an ice cream and I hugged her around the waist and thanked her, and she ruffled my hair and laughed and went, "Aw, Nami, you're real cute." I think that she felt my ass as well, but I'm not making any assumptions here. Why would she sleep with guys for cash if she likes girls? Clearly she's straight. Clearly._

I remembered how I was always convinced that Axel couldn't like me because he liked someone else, because I was his silly little blonde friend in desperate need of munny.

_I think I'm in love with Larxene._

_I also think that I'm getting more and more sick. The girl I kissed in the bar is called Xion. (Mom did some research for me. She has friends in high places, apparently.) She's been moved to the intensive care unit of the hospital. I told Larxene that and she stormed over (thankfully I was home alone again) and gave me a hug and said "If you dare go into hospital – if you have the nerve to even THINK about dying – I will follow you to hell and make you regret ever kissing that random bitch in the bar."_

_It's almost like she's jealous. How could she be jealous?_

I shut the diary and tried to think straight. It was so _weird_ how much we had in common, from one stupid kiss that had odd consequences (mine with Demyx, which made Axel completely flip his lid and destroyed a friendship that had lasted for years, and hers with Xion, which made her seriously ill) to a complete inability to believe that someone actually liked us, and of course, a great relationship with Mom, who seemed to know absolutely _everything_.

I caught sight of myself in the mirror. Why the fuck was I _crying_? What did I have to cry about? Naminé was the one in hospital, probably unable to see Larxene because their friendship was meant to be a secret...

Okay. Okay, I was going to do something for Naminé. Something that would perk her up a little bit. I flicked to the back of her diary, knowing that she had a habit of writing important numbers in the back of books, and, lo and behold, Larxene's number was scrawled next to her name with a love heart and a smiley face.

I scooped up my phone. She was going to kill me. She hates everyone. Everyone except my sister, it seems. But Naminé needed this, right?

"Hello?" I said tentatively, clicking a pen to ease my nerves a little.

"Do I know you?" she asked, her voice mean and impatient.

"No, but you know my sister." I took a breath. "Naminé. You're her friend, right?"

"Yes, yes, I do." She suddenly sounded a lot less bitchy. "She's okay, right? Please, please tell me she's okay..."

"Yeah, she is. For now. I think... I think that she likes you, see, and I think you should go visit her. She's in Ward 12B in the hospital. My parents are both working, she'll be alone. Tell the lady on reception that you're her cousin or something, she'll let you in." I swallowed. "Tell her I said hi, as well."

If Larxene was confused by me randomly helping her, she didn't show it. "Right. I'll go. Thanks. Oh, and by the way, Axel has a crush on you."

Speak of the devil... he was knocking on my door.

I rushed to open it, burbling a goodbye to Larxene and hanging up as I went, and greeted Axel without a shirt on, probably looking like I was about to start crying.

Great.

xxx

I'm so so so sorry that I haven't uploaded sooner, but things have been shit for me recently.

You probably don't care about my whining, but my stepdad got rushed to hospital with what they thought was a stroke (it wasn't), and I think my mum is on the verge of a nervous breakdown and my brother is very energetic and agitated at the moment, so really, the fact that I managed to throw together this shitty chapter is a miracle.

But, hey, at least shit happened. I'm beginning to think that this fic has, like, no plot, so I'm going to kill off all of the characters and turn it into some sort of philosophical story about God. Actually, no, maybe I won't do that. See, there are ways that this story could be worse. Feel free to review and tell me to stop bitching about my personal life. I love you all.


	23. Chapter 23

**Warning: **This right here is a Unicorn of death Fanfiction. For those of you who haven't read my other brilliantly amazing Fanfictions, that basically means that this thing will be filled with swearing, YAOI (dun dun duuun) and the occasional tasteless joke. Consider yourself warned.

**Disclaimer: **It's called Fanfiction because I am a FAN, not the owner of the damned characters.

**Letting Roxas in**

The first thing I noticed was that he suddenly looked really upset.

The second thing I noticed was that he was still shirtless.

This was almost too good to be true.

"Roxas? Are you okay?"

He shook his head and, without a word, fell into my open arms. I bit my lip so hard that I nearly drew blood, trying desperately not to run my hands up and down Roxas's back, across his stomach, slip under his trousers and start – um. I was just struggling to keep myself under control. Roxas was shaking slightly, and oh _God_ the little surprised noise he made when my hand rose up to his neck, flowing along perfectly soft skin with no resistance at all, like my hands were just _made_ for stroking his back. This close, I could see that he had a cute little mole on his lower back, and I could smell him, and _fuck_ he smelled good, and...

"Sorry," he whispered, and I felt a hot spike of anger pierce me at the sound of him apologising _again_. "I just..."

"Hey," I said softly, scratching the back of his neck very, very lightly. I felt him relax into me a bit and smiled. "It's okay. You wanna tell me what's wrong?"

He took a deep breath and pulled away from me, and I had to fight the basic instinct to cling to him with every ounce of my strength. "I just... I found Naminé's diary, and I know I shouldn't have read it, but..." He stopped to scrub at his eyes, to dislodge the half-formed tears there. "I had a look, and she _knew_ she was ill, she knew for days and days before she went into hospital, and Mom knew everything, and she only got ill because she kissed this girl Xion – I didn't even know that she liked girls – and she has a crush on Larxene and I didn't even know she had ever _talked_ to Larxene –"

"Hey, hey, hey." I could barely think of words with shirtless, almost-crying Roxas right in front of me. "Roxas... calm down, okay? Let's get you sat down, and then you can take some deep breaths and believe me, it won't seem almost as bad."

He nodded, his eyes staring past me at nothing in particular. Biting my lip and inhaling deeply through my nose, I took hold of his hand and lead him up the stairs into his bedroom. God, I was really, really looking forward to pinning him down on his small, clean bed, undressing him _slowly_ as he made the sexiest little noises...

"I just..." He sighed, sitting on his bed and tugging my hand to make me sit next to him. He invited me onto his bed with him. _Fuck yes._ "It feels like... I've just suddenly realised that I hardly knew my sister at all, you know?"

"C'mon, Roxas, everyone has a secret or two," I said.I was a prime example of a person with a secret, considering that less than fifteen minutes ago I had been watching Roxas from a tree. "It's not like you've suddenly found out that she was born a boy and owns a donkey." I realise how random that sounds, but I saw this movie the other day... anyway. That's completely and utterly off topic.

"I know, but me and Naminé were always really close, and I just thought..."

I nodded. "I know what you mean. Hey, at least you don't have a friend who is currently hanging out with three grown men and probably doing unmentionable things with them."

Roxas blinked. "Oh, so are you and Demyx friends again?"

I shrugged. I really didn't like discussing Demyx with Roxas. For one, that slimy whore had kissed my precious Roxas, and for another, I wanted to talk about more important things, like our wedding and his favourite position and... um. Maybe I'm getting a little ahead of myself again. "Yeah, I guess. Anyway, that's not important right now. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I am. Or I will be. Or... I don't know. I'm better now that you're here." I turned away, suddenly fascinated by his wall, so that he wouldn't see the enormous smile spreading across my face. "Axel?"

"Mm?" I responded, trying to straighten my face a little before turning to look into those blue, blue, sky-shamingly blue eyes of his.

"I... uh..." He blushed. "Never mind."

"No, go on." I elbowed him gently and he giggled. "You're ticklish, aren't you?"

His face darkened and he leaned away from me slightly. "Don't you _dare_."

"Aw, come on, just a little bit?" I asked, reaching out and letting my hungry fingertips dance across his ribs. He immediately turned pink and started to giggle, squirming under my hand. "Does that _tickle_, Roxas?" I teased, digging in a little harder and catching him around the waist with my spare hand to stop him from escaping. He squealed and fought to get away from me, but if there's one thing that I am, it's strong.

"Stop it! Oh my God, Axel, _stop_!" he laughed, pushing half-heartedly at my side. I was starting to wonder how he _couldn't_ notice that I liked him, at least a bit. Normal guy friends who are _just_ friends don't tend to tickle you until you beg for mercy. Nor do they hold you tenderly while you're shirtless and have to spend every last drop of their effort on not removing your trousers as well. "Okay, seriously, stop."

I did, only so that I could casually loop my arm around his waist instead. He grinned at me and my mouth went dry.

"You have the nicest laugh," I said before I could stop myself. Fuck, what the motherfucking fuck did I just fucking _say_? I was so awkward sometimes. I should just take a fucking vow of silence and have done with it, really.

"Really? I always hated my laugh." Silly Roxas, your laugh is the sexiest laugh I've ever heard, I want to keep it in a bottle in my bedroom so that no one but me can hear it... fuck, I'm creepy. "I like yours though. Only when you're really laughing. Sometimes you do that sarcastic laugh and it kinda freaks me out." Right, okay, no more sarcastic laughing ever. When do I laugh sarcastically, anyway? Usually when Demyx is being a prick. Actually, did that mean that Roxas was paying attention to me? Like, a lot of attention to me? Hm... that was interesting... "But when you laugh genuinely, it's..."

"It's what?" I asked, looking directly at him. He was looking directly at the floor, his cheeks still really pink.

He swallowed. "It's nice." I could tell that he wanted to say something else, but didn't have the guts to. Oh, well. At least I had a nice laugh. "Um... I should probably put a shirt on..."

"No!" He gave me the oddest look, somewhere between surprise and "How did I know you would say that?" with something very faintly flirtatious underneath. Or maybe that was wishful thinking. "Um... it's really warm, you know, midsummer and everything..."

"Yeah, I guess. Almost Christmas." He leaned against me very slightly, and I wouldn't have even noticed if I wasn't so focused on him and where that sexy little naked chest of his was. "You know, in a lot of places, it snows at Christmas. Like, when we have summer, they have winter, and vice versa."

I wrinkled my nose up at that, which can't have been all that sexy, but oh well. "I'd hate for it to snow at Christmas. What's Christmas if it isn't sunburn and _way_ too much ice cream?"

Roxas nodded. "Don't forget water fights and loud music well into the night."

I had never had anyone to have a water fight with, bar Demyx, who was usually too busy engaging in mistletoe-related shenanigans to do anything remotely festive with me. As for loud music well into the night, well, I was in one of the snobbiest neighbourhoods in Twilight Town. I wouldn't even get away with moderate music at lunchtime.

Still, I nodded along, hoping against hope that maybe –

"What are you doing this Christmas, Axel?"

I shrugged. "I don't know, really. What about you?"

He thought for a moment, still leaning into me, still beautifully shirtless. "Well, I was hoping you'd be free to come over to my place and –"

"Yes." He looked at me blankly for a moment before laughing. My face split into a smile to match his, and for a moment or two we were just smiling at each other, and my God, I have never been more content in my _life_.

**Things begin to crumble again**

"So, uh..." I was too warm even with no shirt on, and Axel was in a thin T-shirt and heavy-looking jeans, so he must have felt even worse than me. "I don't even know why I invited you over."

_Because you have a crush on him,Roxas_.

Shut the fuck up, conscience, there's a reason that you aren't physically manifested in the form of a well-dressed cricket. It's because nobody likes you.

_But you like Axel, don't you?_

"I'm glad you did." I swallowed. Was it really true that he liked me? I really, really hoped that he did. But somehow, I just couldn't find the courage to mention it to him. "I really love... spending time with you."

That gap after the word "love" was intentional, I swear to fucking God...

"You too." I looked across the room at my sister's empty bed. She would be talking to Larxene now, if she was even awake. I really hoped that she was awake. "Um..."

"You still look a little upset, Roxas." Of course I do, we're sitting in the bedroom that I share with my possibly-dying sister. "Do you need anything?"

"Yeah, I still need about four hundred thousand munny." The words were out of my mouth before I could even stop them and I swallowed, swearing profusely in my head. "Shit. Sorry, I don't even know –"

"Stop _apologising_," Axel snapped, and I flinched. He was a really, really nice guy, but when he was angry, holy _fuck_ was he angry. "Why don't you _understand_ that you're... you're..."

"I'm what?" I asked quietly, wondering why he still had his arm around me, and whether he had noticed my subtle attempts to shift a little closer to him.

"You're perfect," he said slowly, his eyes suddenly fixed on his own shoes, "and you have nothing to apologise for." He moved so fast you could barely fucking _see_ him, pressed his lips to my cheek for the briefest second, and then moved away from me, putting about a foot between us. "Anyway, um, so Christmas –"

"Axel," I cut across him, "I –"

There was a loud beeping and he grabbed his phone, looking immensely relieved to get out of the situation he'd put himself in.

Typical guy.

"Hello? Oh. It's you." His face had gone from angry at me for apologising to awkward-but-happy to terrified of his own feelings and now to closed off within a minute. "Yes, I am doing something. This is a _terrible_ time. Leave me alone."

I frowned at him, but he was completely ignoring me. "Axel?" I whispered. "Do you need me to leave...?"

He shook his head, grabbing my wrist nearly painfully, and then winced like he'd realised what he'd done. "Look, I don't want to speak to you." His thumb was now stroking my wrist, like he was apologising for grabbing me like that. Which was ironic, considering that he had just got upset with me for apologising again. "I'm in the middle of something really important right now." Wow, I feel important now. Of course, that was probably just a great fat lie so that he could get out of talking to whoever he was talking to, but still. "No."

I looked at him questioningly. He was still holding my wrist and looking at the floor, his eyebrows drawn together.

"No, no, _no_. You can't – you can't be – please, don't..." I moved closer to him again, and wrapped my arms around his waist. He smiled softly and slipped his own arm around my shoulders, very, very warm against my bare skin. I still felt really awkward shirtless around Axel – well, around anyone, really, but Axel especially because I really cared about his opinion – but he didn't seem to mind, considering the way that he was looking at me and the way he'd burst out with a "No!" the second I had suggested that I wear more clothing.

"Listen, I... look, I'll call you back. I'm turning off my phone now; I'll call you back when I'm ready to talk to you." He sighed, hung up, and turned off his phone. "Sorry, Roxas..."

"It's weird that you always get pissed at me for apologising, but you do it all the time." He chuckled hollowly and I could _feel_ it, my arms still tight around him. "So, who was that?"

He scowled. Maybe I should have been a little more careful about it, but I was curious, and really kinda angry that someone had managed to upset Axel, the invincible Axel, and so _quickly_ as well. "My dad."

"Oh." I didn't really know what to say. My parents worked a lot, true, but my mother knew me better than I knew myself and my dad would die for me, or for Nami, I knew that. "What did he want?"

Axel sighed. "He's coming home for Christmas, apparently."

"You can stay at my house while he's at yours, if you like," I offered recklessly. I knew that my parents wouldn't be happy about me arranging things without at least asking them first, especially Christmas, but Axel clearly needed me to suggest _something_.

He did look really cheered up by the idea of staying at my place for Christmas. "Really? You mean it?"

"Yeah," I said, squeezing him around the waist slightly. "I mean it."

"Thank you." There was something deeper than just a dislike of his dad, I could tell, but I didn't want to ask if he didn't want to say. "You really are great, Roxas."

I smiled, trying to pull away from Axel but finding that he was pinning me to his side with the arm that was around my shoulders. One thing I had noticed about Axel was that he had very skinny arms. Like weak spots, especially when compared to his broad chest and what I happened to know were very firm abs. (You tend to notice these things when someone is half-squashing you in their sleep like Axel did when I stayed over at his place.)

Anyway, where was I before I started thinking about Axel's body?

"You're great too, Axel." Maybe I should just kiss him. He had kissed my cheek a minute ago, hadn't he? Maybe I should just grow a pair and tell him that I liked him.

But what if I ruined everything?

"My dad..." He swallowed. "My dad isn't a very nice person."

"How not nice?" I asked cautiously, reaching up to move some hair off his face. "I mean, if you don't wanna tell me..."

He shook his head. "I'll tell you if you don't mind listening."

"Of course I don't mind. Go ahead."

I felt him taking a deep breath. Sometimes, in moments like this, I could pretend that I was his boyfriend, and that he liked me as much as I was growing to like him.

"Well, it's weird, because... he's never hit me or anything, right? Never even called me a name, really... I can't even pin down what it is about him that gets to me. He always promised things that would never happen, like being home for my birthday or going to the pre-school nativity play I was in. And I don't know, it's just... I always got the feeling that he was doing it on purpose. Like he was trying to hurt me for some reason. And last time he was home, I had this huge argument with him about it. At first he was defending himself, like, of _course_ he wasn't just trying to be mean, but then he got really pissed and he told me that he was trying to teach me to stop holding onto people and to stop trusting people and to stop being so _weak_..." He shook his head like he disagreed with his own story. "I mean, I don't take any of it personally, but..."

"No wonder..." I breathed, without even realising it. No wonder he was such a loner sometimes. No wonder he only put his trust in Demyx, and I guess me as well now. "Um... so what did Demyx say about all of that?"

Axel looked at me for a moment and I nearly had a heart attack, like, _the fuck did I just say_? "You really think I'd tell Demyx that? You really think Demyx would even _listen_ for that long?"

"So... so am I the first person..."

"Yeah, you are." I hugged him even tighter and he sighed. "Roxas... I have something... something to tell you."

"Yeah?"

There was the sound of the door opening downstairs, and then, "Roxas! We're home!"

I looked up at Axel. "Looks like you're about to meet my parents."

xxx

Parental shenanigans. Woo.

That chapter was fucking _painful_ to write, not least because I'm ill and it's half past midnight and I really need the toilet.

It's my birthday soon! I'm not saying when exactly, because of course this is the interwebs and you don't just hand out your birthday on the interwebs, but it's very soon. And guess what I got as an early birthday present? GUESS! I got... I got... Kingdom Hearts Dream Drop Distance! That's what I fucking got!

I get really manic and weird sometimes, and what usually happens when there are people around is I yell and get really upset, and sometimes I completely forget what happened. It's fucking _weird_. Anyway, I clearly need some sleep. Stay wonderful, you wonderful readers, you.


	24. Chapter 24

**Warning: **This right here is a Unicorn of death Fanfiction. For those of you who haven't read my other brilliantly amazing Fanfictions, that basically means that this thing will be filled with swearing, YAOI (dun dun duuun) and the occasional tasteless joke. Consider yourself warned.

**Disclaimer: **It's called Fanfiction because I am a FAN, not the owner of the damned characters.

**Roxas begins to crumble again**

I watched him as he shrugged on a shirt, a really nice-looking shirt that hugged his gorgeous body perfectly. In a way I was disappointed, but I don't suppose that his parents would appreciate us hanging out in his bedroom with him partially clothed.

"You okay?" he asked softly, stopping on his way out of the room to hug me around the waist. I swallowed, my hands twitching with the temptation of his ass so _close... _Fuck, I just wanted to – "Axel? Okay?"

"Um – I – yeah. C'mon, let's go meet your parents." I cleared my throat. I almost regretted telling Roxas about my dad – I hated the idea that he thought I was weak, and if he started asking questions about my mother...

Roxas's mother was quite pretty and his dad was quite well-built, but really, I came to the quick conclusion that he got all of his beauty from the gods themselves, or maybe it all originated from the tiny pieces of sky he had stolen and was keeping in his eyes...

Fuck, I'm a sap.

Anyway, his mother greeted me warmly (Jinx, I remembered) and his father (who had some really boring name) mostly ignored me, Roxas frequently looking up at me with worry and sympathy etched onto that beautiful, perfect face. Every time, I gave him my cockiest, sexiest grin, and every time, he looked at me suspiciously before cracking a smile of his own, that dimple cropping up again just to taunt me in front of his mother.

"You know, Axel, Roxas has told me a lot about you." I saw him blushing and hoped to every god, demi-god, quarter-god and second-god-twice-removed-if-my-aunt-really-had-the-affair-she-claims-she-had that he had been telling his mother decent stuff about me, preferably that he was madly in love with me. "I have to say, I'm very grateful to you for looking after him with everything that's going on, he'd never admit it but –"

"Mom!" Roxas groaned, and I laughed, his mom smiling fondly at me and ruffling Roxas's beautiful hair. "Okay, you know what, we're going into the kitchen. I have to tell you something." He tugged his mother into the kitchen (hopefully to tell her that he liked me, or at least to tell her to stop embarrassing him because he actually cared what I thought), leaving me alone with his dad.

My blood froze in its merry path along my veins as Richard, I remembered now, turned towards me with a very stern look on his face.

"So, Axel..." I swallowed. "What are your intentions towards my son?"

"Um, well, he's my best friend and –"

"Okay. I'm going to put this bluntly." It's weird – I'm very rarely phased by authority figures of any kind, and especially by parents, but this was _Roxas's dad_. This was the man I would have to ask permission from before I proposed to Roxas. This was my future, sitting on an armchair with bushy eyebrows and a frown on his face. "I do not like the look of you. I do not like the idea of you being anywhere near my son, whether or not there is anything sexual or romantic between you. I admit that I was very taken aback when Roxas told me he liked men, but as long as he is happy, I can't complain. He and his younger sister mean the world to me, and I have to tell you now that if you hurt him in any way, you will be in a world of shit. Is that clear?"

"Yes, sir." I felt like I was going against everything I had fought to become. I was being a suck-up. "But, um, I don't think that Roxas likes me like –"

"Oh, please. Jinx knows that child better than anyone, and she told me just this morning that he has an enormous crush on you." I was suddenly seized by the desire to hug Roxas's dad, but I thought that might look a little odd. "And I know for a fact that you like him, or there's no way you'd be kissing up to me so damn much."

"Sorry, sir," I muttered, wondering when the last time I called anyone "sir" was. Probably never.

"Oh, for fuck's sake, my name is Richard, okay?" I nodded, noticing with some irritation that my hands were shaking violently. "You remind me of me, Axel, you know that? Except my hair is normal and I'm straight." My hair is _normal_, in fact, this is my natural hair colour, as Roxas will soon find out. "But I was _terrified _of Jinx's father, and he wasn't even a scary man. I just wanted him to like me, you know? And of course, Jinx mattered to him a lot, so I don't doubt he would have hurt me if I put a foot wrong. So I know how you feel. Just look after my son, you understand?" I nodded frantically some more, and he smiled. "I suppose you want to follow him into the kitchen and flirt with him some more, huh?"

"Um..." I said slowly, utterly unsure of what to say.

He smiled warmly at me and gestured to the door. "Go for it. Oh, and by the way, he really likes strawberries. And sea salt ice cream."

I nodded again – I was going to break my neck in a minute – and went into Roxas's kitchen.

"Oh, hello, Axel. Roxas was just wondering where you'd got to." Roxas's cheeks went a delicious shade of pink. I was almost starting to believe that he liked me back, maybe even liked me a lot. "Have you boys had anything to eat yet? I can make broccoli soup if you'd like."

"Mom makes the best broccoli soup," Roxas said proudly, probably trying to turn the conversation away from him and the fact that he had missed me while I was talking to his dad. "You hungry?"

"Yeah, I am. Broccoli soup sounds lovely." I smiled, the most charming smile I could muster, and she smiled back fondly for a moment before going into the fridge for broccoli. "You okay, Rox?"

"Yeah, I am," he said, smiling tiredly at me. Aw, he was so _cute_. "Hey, uh... do you want to stay the night? I mean, like, I know you probably want to stay at Demyx's or whatever, but –"

"No, it's okay, I'd love to," I said hurriedly, and he smiled. "As long as it's okay with your parents, you know, and as long as I'm not a problem, I'd love to stay over."

"Oh, it's fine with us, it was my idea," his mom said warmly, pushing a few buttons on the oven and beginning to boil some broccoli. Living mostly on my own with fucktons of munny, I've never encountered the need to cook, so I never learned. In all honesty, I can't picture myself being very good at it. I like the smell of burning too much, and I can be pretty clumsy at times (mostly when I'm thinking about Roxas), so I just leave all the cooking to the people who make fast food and pizza. I mean, I know how to microwave things, and sometimes when I'm feeling really brave I'll stick something into an oven for twenty minutes to defrost, but other than that, I'm hopeless. Still, it'll be okay because I bet Roxas is good at cooking – I bet he's good at everything, really – and I would _kill_ to see him in an apron.

Or a maid outfit.

Fuck, Roxas in a skirt... mmm... I liked that thought. I liked that thought a lot.

"So, Axel, Roxas tells me you're having some issues at school? Been held back a few times?" Roxas gave his mother the sexiest "Don't-tell-him-_that_" look I have ever seen and she had the decency to blush a little. "It's nothing to be ashamed of or anything, I was just wondering if I could help at all. You've done a lot for Roxas, you know, he's a lot happier since he's been hanging around with you –"

"Mom, the broccoli is burning," Roxas snapped, probably starting to get pissed at his mother constantly talking about him like he wasn't there. The broccoli wasn't even burning, and it smelled really good, but she still busied herself with that instead of talking to us, smiling slightly. She was the kind of mom you read about, warm and friendly and a talented cook, a lot like Demyx's mom but she seemed more likely to break your arm if you messed with either of her kids.

I decided that I really liked Roxas's parents, if only because they were looking after Roxas.

"I hope my dad didn't have a go at you or anything, he's always a bit weird about my guy friends, I think he assumes I'm fucking everyone," Roxas said quietly, the side of his mouth pulling up slightly to complement his gorgeous dry humour and sparkling, _very_ blue eyes. "Maybe he just wants to think I'm attractive, and then he can tell himself that I get it from him."

"You _are_ attractive," I blurted out, feeling myself blush and watching Roxas blush too. Whatever his mother was doing with the food suddenly became a lot louder, plates and chopping boards and knives all clashing together deliberately, mercifully noisily, so that conversation became pointless and even if I'd forced more words out, Jinx wouldn't have heard them. (I still can't get over the fact that someone called Jinx married someone called _Richard_. Still, they clearly loved each other, and as I said before, they had given me Roxas, so I couldn't complain.)

I couldn't help but notice, though, that she kept giving me looks that reminded me of Demyx, looks that almost seemed to say "Get in there!"

I really felt like she was on my side. I felt like things were going to work. For once, I felt... safe.

**An awkward moment or two**

I inhaled my soup (which was really nice, as Axel mentioned about seventeen times to flatter my mother – who knew he could be such a suck-up?) as quickly as I could, waited very impatiently for Axel to finish his, and then retreated back into my room, fighting to not think about how fucking embarrassing my parents were. Also, I was fighting to not think about Axel staying the night in my room, and all the interesting places that that could lead, because let's be honest, what are the chances of Axel wanting to have sex with me? Or do, like, _anything_ with me, really?

My mother, just for the record, was very pro-me-and-Axel, and had even asked if she would be invited to our wedding. (What kind of person _doesn't_ invite their mother to their own wedding?) She didn't seem to get the part where _why the fuck would someone like that be into someone like me_.

"Your parents seem really nice," Axel said. I looked at him, trying to tell whether he was being genuine, and he looked at me, probably just because I was looking at him. "And the soup was amazing."

"Oh, really? You never mentioned that. Never. At all." I was using all the sarcasm in my body, and Axel chuckled, sitting down on the edge of my bed and watching me as I sat down next to him.

"Well, I wanted your mom to like me. She's a great person." Why did he care what my mom thought? I mean, fair enough, make sure she doesn't hate you and shit, but relentless sucking up was odd, especially for Axel, who was as fond of authority figures as most people are of swords. "Anyway... you okay?"

I nodded slowly. "Just tired... worried about Naminé... the usual." I didn't want to look even weaker and more pathetic in front of Axel. "You?"  
>"Tired? Go to sleep then. And your sister will be fine." He never seems to take any notice of my questions about him. It's always about me, which actually, after weeks of Nami being ill and months of Hayner demanding things from me with little thought about what I wanted, was a great feeling, but still, I did care about Axel and... my internal monologue was starting to ramble tiredly and I laid back onto my pillows, propped up into a half-sitting, half-lying position, Axel sitting on the bed next to me. "Where can I sleep?"<p>

_My bed. And if you don't want to sleep, we could do other stuff_ – Whoa. Where the fuck did _that_ come from? "I don't mind. Naminé's bed, or mine, or the floor, or wherever."

"I'd feel really weird sleeping in her bed," he said quietly, looking at the too-tidy, too-cold side of the room that Nami usually inhabited. "Can I sleep with you?"

I laughed. "You might wanna phrase that differently, Axel. But yeah, you can. D'you have any pyjamas with you?"

He hissed out a swearword. It was kinda hot when he swore, actually. Not that I cared or even paid any real attention to it. "No, I don't. Don't suppose you have anything spare?"

"Well, yeah, I have, but they'll be really small on you." I tried not to blush, both at my embarrassing shortness and the thought of a well-muscled, tall redhead in pyjamas that revealed a whole lot of his stomach. "I should probably get changed as well. Here." I got up and grabbed him a clean set of my pyjamas, then peeled my shirt off (having deliberately picked quite a tight shirt earlier because, you know, Axel) and pulled on some tired old thing that smelled like air freshener, and grabbed some flannel trousers. "D'you mind if I just –"

"Nah, it's fine," Axel said, pulling his own shirt off _really slowly_ and locking eyes with me. I swallowed, trying to understand what the fuck was going on, and trying really hard (really hard, haha, it was funny because that's what I was going to be soon – wait, what?) not to look at his chest and his abs and – was that a nipple piercing? Shit. I stood up, unzipped my too-tight jeans and shimmied out of them, feeling Axel's acid green eyes all over my horribly skinny legs and knobbly knees, and pulled on my pyjama trousers as fast as I could.

Axel seemed to be staying shirtless for as long as possible, probably to make me feel horribly awkward and disturbingly turned on, but eventually he shrugged on my shirt. Unsurprisingly, it stopped just above his belly button, even higher up when he was standing, and the trousers I'd lent him showed off his ankles and most of his shins nicely. He grinned at me and I scowled. "You point out the height difference..." I growled in my best "or else" voice.

Axel just licked his lips slowly. "I wouldn't _dream_ of it. Besides, you're not even short." I blinked, pleasantly surprised to hear that. Nobody had ever said that to me before. "You're fun-sized."

"Oh, you're gonna get it," I said, pouncing on him and pinning him to the bed, laughing with him and trying to ignore the suggestiveness of, well, everything at the moment. "You're a _weakling_, you know that?"

"No, I'm just going easy on you," he grinned, and before I could even _think_ he had flipped me and I was lying flat on my back, a rather attractive redhead hovering over me and eyeing the skin that had become visible where my shirt had ridden up. I found myself blushing and squirming slightly as he reached down with one hand, somehow still pinning me with the other, and fixed my shirt for me, his fingertips lingering on my stomach. "So, do I win?"

"Yeah, now get off me," I said, suddenly terrified. His grin barely flickered as he loosened his grip a little, but otherwise didn't move. "Axel?"

"What happens if I _don't_ get off you, Roxas?" he asked, his voice low and fluid. "What _then_?"

"Then I won't let you sleep in my bed, in case you pull some Hayner-type shit." He scowled at the mention of Hayner and got off me, sitting down by my side instead. "You still hate Hayner?"

"Of course I hate Hayner, doesn't everyone?" I rolled my eyes and shifted a little closer to him. "I mean, for one, he's _still_ hitting on you, isn't he?"

"How did you know that?" I asked, sitting up a little more and trying not to look at the section of Axel's stomach that was exposed.

He grinned. "I didn't until now." I groaned at the sight of him chuckling at me, my voice catching in my throat when he slipped a simple, friendly arm around my waist. "It's really warm, isn't it?"

"Yeah, I'm seriously hot." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw what almost looked like Axel nodding in agreement, but of course, that was wishful thinking. "We should at least try and get some sleep, you know."

"Yeah, we should. Lie down." I lay down and Axel lay down next to me in a totally broish, friendzoney way. "You smell good."

I giggled, then clamped a hand over my mouth, _mortified _that I had just made such a damn girly noise. "Shit, I just giggled. Anyway, you smell good too." He did, actually. Some aftershave thing with pure Axel underneath. I really liked it. "You know, Pence thinks I'm more a girl than a guy sometimes. And he says that if I did end up in a relationship, I'd be the girl."

Axel thought about this. "I don't know. I don't really like the whole idea that there needs to be a "girl", anyway. The whole point of being gay is dating guys." I laughed. "So what else does Pence say?"

"Normally he just complains about Olette and tells me to be careful of Hayner's feelings." Something occurred to me. "Are you and Demyx fighting? Hayner said –"

"We were. But you know what we're like." Something about what Hayner had said had made it sound like this was their worst fight yet, though. "We're friends again now."

"What were you two fighting about?" I asked, feeling him sneak a little closer to me. It was like a game, in a way. You had to get as close as you could without being _too_ noticeable, and if you _were_ too noticeable, the other had every right to take the piss, and then you'd have to go back to the start. "I mean, if you don't want to say –"

"You. It started out as a fight about you, and then I called him a whore, and he got pissed and tried to play the "My sister's in hospital" card, so I got pissed and left." I swallowed. "Nothing interesting."  
>"What about me?" I asked quietly.<p>

He yawned widely. "Fuck, I'm tired. You have a nice ceiling."

With that, he fell asleep, or pretended to fall asleep. After about ten minutes, I settled down and started drifting off as well, nearly squeaking with surprise and happiness when he started clinging to me again, both arms around me and pulling me into his body as much as he could, nuzzling into my neck and mumbling about how cute I was.

I'm sure he does that to everyone, though. It's probably just a reflex thing.

xxx

Aww, cuddling. I like cuddling. I should do it more often.

My birthday has happened now, and I'm officially fifteen. It doesn't feel any different, but I have this awesome new football shirt that has "Yuffie" on it (because when my friends and I were assigning KH-based nicknames we decided I would be Yuffie) and the number 29 (no prizes for guessing who I ship Demyx with). And I have two new action figures, Sora and Riku, which I will be using for evil. Mwahaha.

Anyhoo, I love you guys. All of you. A lot. Thank you so much for all the support and love. You guys have saved me from some really bad shit, and I owe you. So... hugs and kisses and Oreos and cheesecake, and go read my oneshots, because I want to know whether they're any good and whether I should write more.


	25. Chapter 25

**Warning: **This right here is a Unicorn of death Fanfiction. For those of you who haven't read my other brilliantly amazing Fanfictions, that basically means that this thing will be filled with swearing, YAOI (dun dun duuun) and the occasional tasteless joke. Consider yourself warned.

**Disclaimer: **It's called Fanfiction because I am a FAN, not the owner of the damned characters.

**An awkward moment or Roxas**

So, you see, I had this problem.

I was absolutely _dying _of exhaustion, having pulled an all-nighter last night to watch Roxas from a tree. This would be okay – I was, after all, safe and warm in a bed, at night – but _Roxas_. _Roxas Roxas Roxas_. He was just lying there, making sexy little noises in his sleep and holding me tightly, occasionally kicking a little, and _fuck_ I just wanted to _do_ him, _fuck_...

So I couldn't really sleep.

I reached for my phone, which I'd left on the floor after getting changed into Roxas's pyjamas (FUCK YES I'M IN HIS CLOTHES I CAN SMELL HIM ALL OVER ME, MY BODY IS WHERE HIS NAKED BODY WAS, FUCKFUCKFUCK) and, dangling an arm painfully over the edge of his bed, already missing the feeling of having both arms around his tiny, soft, perfect body, grabbed it, wincing when it made what sounded like an insanely loud scraping noise on the floor. Turning away from the blonde bundle of perfection slightly, I turned it on and unlocked it, shielding it on one side so that the light didn't fall onto Roxas and wake him up. I saw one new message from Dem – that could wait, I wanted him to suffer – two from Olette, which I frowned at and decided to go for in a minute, only because they were probably about Roxas, and one from my mother.

My mother.

You can't even call her a fucking mother. You can call her a lot of things, not all of them negative, but you can't call her a mother.

_Hello, Axel, it's me. Your mother. You haven't seen me in a while, huh? Listen, sweetheart, I know things were messy for a few years, and that's why I went away, to give you space to forgive me. Can you do that? I miss my little boy. I want to know all the regular mom things, like, do you have a girlfriend? How are you doing at school? How's your friend doing – the strange blonde one who looks a bit like David Bowie? Demyx? I think that's his name. Anyway, what I'm saying, Axel, is that I waited as long as I could for you to get in touch with me, but you never did, so now I'm sending you a message. You don't even have to reply if you're still mad at me; I understand totally if you are. But I want to be your mommy again, Axel. Please, forgive me. I love you. ~Mom xoxo_

Fuck. Fuck her and her fucking manipulation and her, her _everything_. Why won't she just leave me alone? I had _just_ shut down all the parts of my mind that remembered her, and worse, missed her, and now here she was, texting me from Destiny Islands – at least, I assume that she's still there, that's where she's been staying for the past five years – reopening the wounds just as I was preparing myself to confess to Roxas.

On the topic of Roxas, I should probably read those texts that his annoying girly friend sent me. Maybe she was telling me exactly how to turn him on, but probably not.

_Axel? Are you with Roxas? Hayner says you've been stalking him... that's really not cool, if it's true... If you like him, fine, but that doesn't mean you can go around invading his privacy and all the shit that Hayner's accusing you of doing... if you hurt Roxas, or do anything he doesn't want you to do, me, Hayner and Pence are gonna be all over you, and you will never walk again, got it? -Olette_

I scowled. _Hayner_. Fucking _Hayner_. How had he even found out that I was –

Actually, that might explain Demyx's eagerness to apologise to me earlier. That little whore, I was going to rip him apart with my bare hands. Why was he so intent on ruining things between Roxas and I? Did the thought of a stable relationship scare him, even if it wasn't him in that relationship? Was he jealous? Did he think that Roxas was going to take up all of my attention?

Maybe he was just an annoying, homewrecking whore whose only instinct was to ruin other people's relationships in any way he could.

The second text from Olette seemed a little less angry, but still not something I really wanted to read at nearly midnight when I should have been cuddling Roxas. _Okay, thinking about it now, it __makes sense. It makes a LOT of sense, actually. But I'm warning you now, you do anything creepy, you upset Roxas in any way, and you will be in a whole world of pain, got it? -Olette_

I could probably take those three down with two punches, but actually, if I ever hurt Roxas, I would deserve every drop of pain that they could possibly inflict on me.

I gave into temptation and checked the text from Demyx last, my stomach twisting with anger to think that he had told his pissy little brother about me stalking Roxas and now Hayner knew and Olette and probably Pence knew and I was at risk of being castrated by a semi-rapist, a girl who still only looked about twelve and a guy who was a little too fond of ice cream, by the looks of him.

_Axel, I'm really afraid. Luxord is on the warpath and Xigbar's not exactly happy either, I just had unprotected sex with Zexion and I'm scared I'm gonna catch something, I didn't even WANT to have sex with him, I think that Luxord is either gonna rape me or get killed by Xigbar, I'm so so scared, I don't even know where my clothes are, and my hair got messed up, and you were right, you were so so so right, I got in well over my head and I didn't know what to do and I'm scared, help me? Please?_

I swore and looked at the time on that text. Forty-eight minutes ago. Okay, it could be worse. Somehow. I was going to have Zexion's ass in jail for rape, if anything actually happened with Luxord he was going to jail too, Xigbar was... well, I didn't know quite yet, but if he did anything stupid he was in shit too...

I sighed. I really needed to check on him, but in bed with Roxas... I shook my head. Why did he even get himself into that situation? I shuffled away from Rox, _my_ Rox, delicately, taking a second to look as his gorgeous sleeping face, and then stood up, walking as far away as I could get so that I was a little less likely to wake him before hitting the "Call now" button on my phone.

"Demyx?" I hissed as soon as the ringing stopped. I was met with the classic, highly irritating "We're sorry, but the number you're trying to reach is –" Scowling, I stabbed the "End call" button and tried again. "Dem, you there?"

"It's me, Axel. Xigbar." That was not a good sign. My throat constricted, but I hadn't gathered up all of this rage and worry just to not talk now.

"Where's Demyx?" I growled. "I swear, if you pull any shit –"

"Don't panic, he's just sleeping. I'll wake him up and put him on the phone if you want." There was a pause. "Zexion and Luxord are both in the hospital, I may have beaten them up a little bit."

Instant brownie points from me. "Is Dem okay?"

"Yeah. Very upset, and very tired, and we couldn't find his shirt, but he'll be fine. Do you wanna talk to him? I can wake him up..."

"Yeah, that'd be great." There was a shuffling noise and, in the background, Xigbar talking in the gentlest voice I'd ever heard from the scarred old man, and then some mumbling from Demyx. "Dem?"

"Hey, Axel." He sounded more tired than anything. "Don't worry about me. Xigbar sorted it all out."

I swallowed. "Demyx, you really scared me there. I told you all along –"

"I know you did, Axel, I know. Thanks for trying, but I guess sometimes you have to learn the hard way." He coughed. "I might not be in school tomorrow or Friday, but I'll be okay. Don't worry about me, I'm fine."

"Okay, if you're sure..." I said dubiously. I didn't trust Xigbar – I barely trusted Demyx, to tell you the truth – but it didn't look like I could do much interfering, so I just left it. "Sleep well, okay, Demyx?"

"Yeah. Why're you whispering?"

"I'm at Roxas's house and he's asleep." Before Demyx could start talking to me about that, I dove in with, "Can you put Xigbar back on the phone? I wanna ask him about something."

"Sure." I could hear him muttering something along the lines of, "Xigbar, Axel wants to talk to – oh, thanks, I need that – Axel wants to ask you something."

"Axel? What's up?"

"What actually happened?" I asked, sounding a bit angrier than I'd meant to. It just sucked, to have seen something like this coming from miles and miles away and for it to finally happen even after warning him over and over again...

"Well, Luxord found out where we were..."

I sat down on Roxas's almost-dead sister's bed, wondering just when karma was coming to get me, and listened to the awful, awful tale of my best friend's evening.

**Why doesn't he care that much about me?**

I stirred and sat up, feeling the oddest sense of loss, like I'd misplaced a pillow or a blanket or –

Or an Axel. He was standing on Nami's side of the room, muttering into his phone, pacing up and down. Demyx, I would guess. He hadn't noticed that I was awake yet, and feeling drowsy and nauseous, I lay back down and watched him through half-closed eyes, seeing him cycle through agitated, angry, guilty and reassured, with the occasional bout of what looked a bit like pity. Eventually, though, he hung up. I looked at the clock – half past midnight. I closed my eyes completely and tried to stay asleep or at least look like I was asleep as Axel slid into the bed next to me, and almost instinctively I put my arms around him, nuzzling into his chest. He chuckled softly and slipped both arms around me, shifting me so that I was a little closer to him, his legs tangling up in mine.

"Roxas? You asleep?"

"Mm, a little," I said truthfully, breathing in the warm, masculine scent of Axel, trying not to smile too obviously. "Are you?"

"Nah, I've just been talking to Xigbar and Demyx."

"Are they a couple yet?" I asked, trying to fight back a yawn.

Axel started stroking my cheek and I tilted my head into his hand a little more, _loving_ his strong, warm fingers on my skin... hey, um, I'm tired, leave me alone. "I'm not really sure. It seems like it, but neither of them said..."

"They should be, they like each other." I tried to relax my grip on Axel a little, so that if he wanted to, he could let go, but he just tightened his hold on me a little more, pulling me closer, his knee between my legs in what I'm _sure_ was an entirely platonic, friendly, non-sexual cuddle-type thing. Really. This is what all friends do.

"Who else do you think should be a couple, Rox?" he asked quietly.

"Pence and Olette. Larxene and Naminé, um... you and..."

"Me and who, Roxas?" he asked. "Come on, I'm not gonna take the piss, you know that."

"It's just... it's stupid. Hayner was just saying earlier... he thinks you and I should go out. Weird, right?" I forced a laugh. "Who in their right mind would wanna go out with me? Especially someone like you, I mean you're –"

"Roxas." Axel cut me off with one sharp word and I fell silent, a little stung but relieved to have a reason to stop talking. "Who in their right mind _wouldn't_ wanna go out with you?"

I muttered, "Well, you, clearly," assuming that Axel couldn't hear me, but something about the way he held me even tighter and pressed his lips very, very briefly to my forehead suggested that I'd been a little louder than I'd thought, or he was a better listener than I gave him credit for.

I realised that we were practically acting like a couple right now, but you know, he didn't have any feelings for me, I was almost certain of that. Because who _would_?

"So what were you talking to Demyx and Xigbar about?" I asked, hooking one of my ankles around one of his and nearly accidentally grinding against his leg. That probably wouldn't have been socially acceptable, would it? Did Axel even _do_ socially acceptable? I'd been pretty taken aback by the way he'd talked to my mother. He was an absolute gentleman when he felt like it.

"Demyx got himself into some trouble with Luxord and Zexion, and sort of Xemnas as well. He's thinking about dropping out of school. You know he's been getting all his grades by, uh..."

"Yeah, I know," I said quietly. He wasn't exactly subtle about it. "Go on."

"Well, yeah, basically, he did what I'd spent months telling him not to do and got himself alone in an apartment with Xigbar, Zexion and Xemnas, which is never going to end well for him, and he couldn't really get help, but Xigbar could sort of see that he was getting upset and got really snappy with the other two, so Xemnas left but Zexion..." Axel took a deep, shaky breath that I felt in my chest as well as his. "He... uh..."

"It's okay. You're upset, right?" I could see him nodding in the weak moonlight filtering through the trees in my garden. "Take your time. I know how much it must suck; you really care about Demyx, so of course you're gonna be upset. Just take your time, it's okay."

He swallowed. "Zexion raped him."

I was silent, but when Axel didn't seem like he was going to talk again, I filled the silence with, "You could get him done for that, you know."

"Demyx has already said that he doesn't want to do that. Something about his pride and having to explain to his parents. He's really shaken up at the moment, so you know, doing stuff that he doesn't want us to do isn't going to help." I nodded in understanding. "Anyway. So that happened, and then because Xemnas had stomped off, Luxord got wind of where Dem was, and he showed up, apparently _furious_ that he hadn't been invited along to the molestation-fest, and had Demyx up against a wall and everything, but Xigbar went for him, and... long story short, Zexion and Luxord are in hospital, Xigbar's nose is broken, and Demyx is really upset but I don't think there's any permanent damage there. Except, you know, he will probably never trust another Spanish teacher again."

I swallowed. "That's _awful_. You know, my mom works in law – if Demyx decides to press charges..."

"Nah, it's okay. You don't need to worry about it, anyway." In spite of the heat, Axel grabbed the blanket and tugged it up higher, to cover my shoulders, and looked at me. "You deserve one night of peace, at least. Go to sleep, and dream about bunnies and gay shit like that."

"_You_ can hardly call anyone gay," I laughed, my eyes struggling to stay open and a small yawn escaping in what sounded more like a gasp. "Mind you, I can't either."

I realised something, in his arms, turned on and almost-asleep and smiling like a little kid.

I was so, so in love with him. It _hurt_. And the frustrating thing was, I'd been in love with him for a while now. I'd just been scared to admit it to myself, and now it was maybe too late to admit it to him.

Whatever he said, I still hadn't ruled out the possibility that he liked Demyx, even if Demyx and Xigbar were a thing, or almost a thing.

"Yeah, well. Are you being homophobic?" I laughed and so did he. He had the nicest laugh. "Look, Rox, get some sleep, yeah?"

How the _hell_ am I meant to get any sleep in the arms of someone this gorgeous?

"Yeah, okay," I said thickly. Then, without warning, without my permission, "Love you."

There was a loaded silence and I pretended to be asleep, just so that he would think, you know, slip of the tongue because I was tired, and of course I didn't _love_ him, that would be absurd.

"Love you too, Roxas," he whispered, and to this day I'm not even sure that it wasn't just a dream. "More than you will ever know."

Well, if it was real... that would be really nice, if it was real.

I woke up in the morning slightly confused, lying pretty much on top of Axel with my head tucked into his neck and something foreign digging into my leg. I could probably guess what it was, but I didn't really want to. I looked at the clock – six in the morning, almost acceptable waking-up time – and pulled myself into something like a sitting-up position, still on Axel's lap, thinking I could shower and maybe brush my teeth before he woke up and –

"Rox?" he said blearily, grabbing my elbow almost painfully. "You're... you're not leaving..."

It wasn't really a question, but I figured I'd try my luck anyway. "Axel, I need to run and have a shower, brush my teeth, you know –"

"_No,_" he responded, pulling me back gently into his lap and wrapping his arms around me. "You're stayin'. And we're goin' back to sleep til... til seven."

"Axel, I normally get up at –"

"Don't care."

I took a deep breath and tried again. "My parents will probably think –"

"Don't care."

"Axel –"

"Just go back to sleep. We can worry about stuff when we wake up."

Lying on Axel, with his arms around me and his heartbeat drumming through his chest and onto my back, I couldn't really object to five or ten minutes in bed before I had my shower.

xxx

So, today's random fact about Unicorn of death: My stepdad isn't allowed to drive any more. The doctor doesn't think that he's safe to drive, or something. I dunno. It means that I'm gonna be walking more, so I'll hopefully lose some weight, and be getting buses more as well, which is better for the environment. My stepdad is gutted about it, though. He seems to be taking it as a personal insult.

Anyway, I wrote this oneshot called Bathrooms, and I was hoping y'all would go read it, because I'm still kinda debating whether to keep it as a oneshot or to turn it into a chaptered fic or just to write a series of related oneshots that can be read independently if one so wishes. Review and such, and thanks for all the support and love, it really does mean a lot to me.


	26. Chapter 26

**Warning: **This right here is a Unicorn of death Fanfiction. For those of you who haven't read my other brilliantly amazing Fanfictions, that basically means that this thing will be filled with swearing, YAOI (dun dun duuun) and the occasional tasteless joke. Consider yourself warned.

**Disclaimer: **It's called Fanfiction because I am a FAN, not the owner of the damned characters.

**Why doesn't Roxas care that much about me?**

He was in my fucking lap again, and he _moved_ against me and I was going to _scream_...

I mean, um, I was asleep the whole time. Roxas did not get felt up at any point. I swear. In my defence, my hand was just on his leg, and he moved so that I was almost where I shouldn't be. I did nothing but sit there and enjoy it, honest.

Anyway, when he got up the second time, at seven in the morning, I was just _dying _to do things to him, especially when he stretched luxuriously _right in front of me_, a content hum coming from the throat that I ached to kiss, lick, bite, draw screams from...

"Axel? C'mon, wake up, it's seven. We'll be late."

I blinked. "Right. Coming." I'd be coming soon, all right, very soon. "Morning, by the way."

He smiled at me. Fuck, he was _beatiful._ "Morning."

I took a deep breath, got up, and followed Roxas downstairs for some breakfast.

"Oh, hello, boys. I did some laundry while you were asleep, so Axel, your clothes are over there, okay?" I nodded dumbly at Roxas's mom, wondering how she could have obtained our clothes without waking us. She must have come around at about three, because I didn't get to sleep until about two and I woke up at fourish. "Sleep well?"

"Like a dead body. Where are the cornflakes?" Roxas asked, beginning to rummage through cupboards. "I could've sworn..."

"We took them to the hospital in case we needed to stay overnight again. Nothing major, don't worry. How about I make pancakes instead?" Roxas nodded bouncily – that was cute, clearly he had got a lot more sleep than I had – and tugged me by the hand towards the table, forcing me to sit next to him. Well, this was pleasant. Very pleasant. Almost as pleasant as having him in my arms, his legs wound up in mine, occasionally mumbling in his sleep, his mouth opening and closing and his perfect little chest rising and falling slowly, peacefully. Not to mention practically asking me to feel him up.

Several pancakes later – Roxas was still really, really hot when he ate pancakes, and he ended up with syrup on his cheek, but his mother wiped it off with a cloth before I could get rid of it with my tongue – Roxas and I decided we would get the bus, and went upstairs to get dressed. Roxas went into the bathroom to change, unfortunately for me, and I was left alone in his room. I may have stolen a pair of his boxers, but then again, I may not have. You cannot prove jack shit.

He came back into his bedroom adjusting his shirt, a little pink in the face, and I grinned. Damn, he was hot. "Um... hi."

"Hey, Roxas. You ready to go?"

"Yeah, just let me grab my bag." He bent down slightly to grab his bag and HOLY FUCK HIS ASS OH MY GOD. I need to stop thinking in caps lock, it gives me a headache. "Ready?"

I nodded, temporarily speechless, and followed Roxas out of the door, falling into step with him on the way to the bus stop, having to take baby steps to avoid overtaking him. "Thanks for having me over, Roxas, it was great."

"No problem, I really enjoyed it." We both smiled like dumbasses as we arrived at the bus stop. "You should come over again soon."

"Yeah, I should. You're coming to mine on Saturday, right?"

He nodded, and I noticed a small scratch on the back of his neck. "Hey, what's that?"

"What's what?"

"You have a cut..." I mumbled, reaching out instinctively and trailing a finger just below the awful red line. If someone hurt my Roxas, I swear to fucking God... "Does it hurt?"

"Not at all, I didn't even know it was there." I could feel his goosebumps forming under my finger. "You must have great eyesight." Or maybe I'm just staring at you a lot and have your neck memorised, so any changes are always obvious. "Hey, here's our bus."

On the bus, we didn't talk much, mostly because Roxas was a lot more tired than he'd let on when he was at home, and happily rested his head on my shoulder, while I checked my phone for texts.

_Hey, Ax, wanna ditch school and come hang out with me? Xigbar's taking the day off to let things settle down and make sure I'm okay (I'm still at his place, woo) and I'm definitely not gonna be in today or tomorrow. It is Thursday, right? Or is it Friday? I'm confused :S -Dem_

I looked at Roxas, half-asleep on my shoulder. It was Thursday (I think) so skipping school would mean skipping Math with Roxas... but then, I guess I'd had more than my fair share of the blonde for today (not that there's even such thing as too much Roxas) and Dem deserved at least a little of my time.

"Roxas?" I said quietly. He raised his head, so I hurriedly threaded my fingers through his hair and guided it back down, smiling when he hummed contentedly and wound his arms around my waist. "Listen, I'm thinking about skipping school to go see Dem. That okay with you?"

"Uh-huh. Just stay my pillow a little longer?" I _loved _being his pillow. I might as well just dress in a pillowcase from now on. Or Roxas could dress in nothing but a pillowcase... damn, I wanted that to happen... I wanted that a lot...

Roxas perked up just a tiny bit when we got to school, and I held his chin firmly in place, made him promise to stay safe and fall asleep in Math if he was tired, and _almost_ found the courage to kiss him before turning abruptly with a hurried goodbye and beginning to sprint to Xigbar's place, barely able to recall the address that Dem had texted me. I arrived relatively quickly and tapped on the door, my face blank when Xigbar answered with a harsh "Are you here for Dem?". I still wasn't sure how I felt about Xigbar, really. He had helped Demyx, sure, but it was partially his fault that Dem had been in that situation in the first place... Anyway. I don't think I get to judge him, really, considering that if he hadn't stepped in last night, Dem would have been in a lot more trouble.

"He's in the other room. I think he's exhausted, apart from anything else." Xigbar looked me up and down. "Are you and Roxas a thing yet?"

I felt myself go a little bit pink. How could everyone in the universe know _except Roxas_? "Um, no, but hopefully, you know, soon..."

"As long as you have no interest in Demyx, I don't care about the details." He pushed the door completely open and stepped out of the way. "Be nice to him, or you're in shit, got it?"

I was tempted to start mouthing him off, but I had to remember that this was the guy who'd hospitalised Luxord and Zexion last night, not to mention the fact that he was entirely capable of failing me this year and preventing me from being with Roxas.

"Yeah, I got it." I walked past him, found Demyx, and knelt down next to him, because he was lying in bed, half-awake and toying with his phone. There was a scratch on his face, and his shirt was torn, but other than that he looked mostly okay. "Hey, Dem."

"Hi, Axel. Have you come to say "I told you so"? Because I think I deserve it." I shook my head. "No, come on. Tell me I've been a stupid whore and I've had this coming to me for years now. Tell me it's all my fault and you were right all along. Go on."

I shook my head even harder. "Dem, I don't blame you for any of this. I mean, okay, maybe you were a little reckless getting yourself sort of cornered, but you know, that was more them than you." I swallowed. "Really, I'm just glad that you're safe."

Demyx looked at me pleadingly. "You've gotta understand, Axel, I wasn't just... just being a whore or being reckless or whatever. I'm lonely. I'm scared for my sister. I just wanted something to take my mind off it. And cause I'm one of the oldest, my parents don't pay as much attention to me. So... I just... I don't know." He started coughing, and instinctively I looked for his inhaler, but he didn't seem to have it around. "I – I wanted someone – someone to love me – like you l-love Roxas – but..."

"Dem, where's your inhaler?" I asked, spotting his bag and starting to rummage through it.

He coughed some more. _Shit, shit shit..._ "I think I left it in the kitchen."

I leapt to my feet, but Xigbar was already coming in, holding the blessed blue thing in his left hand. "Honestly, what am I gonna do with you?" he said softly, kneeling where I had just been and giving the inhaler to Demyx, smoothing some hair out of his face and taking his hand as Dem shook the thing, opened it up and sucked on it. "There ya go. I'm gonna make you wear it on a chain around your neck if you aren't careful."

I felt like a ginormous cockblock, so I sort of melted out of the room and made my way back to school.

**Starting to worry**

I left Math feeling oddly empty without Axel constantly touching knees with me and staring at me when he thought I wasn't looking, and wandered in the direction of the bathroom.

I stopped short when I heard sobbing, and rounded the corner cautiously, the sound oddly similar to –

"Sora, it'll be okay, I promise, you won't get hurt again..." God, even when he was trying to cheer someone up, Riku came across as EMO. "I'm sorry I let you get hurt. It's not gonna happen again, I promise you that."

I took a deep breath. Who would hurt _Sora_? He was like a really awkward, tall, bouncy kid. And as his maybe-or-maybe-not relative, I did have an obligation to protect him. Although since Riku was doing that pretty well, I ducked out of the bathroom, and traipsed into the library, deciding to take out a couple of books to read to Nami when she was sleeping. I had seen Larxene in the corridors that day, actually – it was one of those rare days Larxene had bothered to come into school – and the look that we shared was so charged with gratitude and a secret nobody else knew that I could almost see the air between us ripple. It felt like I had torn a small hole in the fabric of reality, doing Larxene a favour, making her not-hate me. Larxene was not meant to not-hate anyone, with the obvious exception of my sister. But there she was, not-hating me...

I was interrupted in my boring inner monologue by my phone vibrating. After a sly glance around to check that the librarian wasn't going to see me and go apeshit, I pulled my phone out of my pocket. It was from Axel. That was nice.

_Hey Rox, just seen Dem but I left because him and Xigbar were eye-fucking, so I'm on my way to school again. Anything you want from the store before I get back? Axel x_

Was that a _kiss_ on the end of that text? Was it even deliberate? Maybe his thumb slipped. But then, the last letter of Axel was L, and on a QWERTY keyboard, X and L are pretty far away... (what a useless piece of information to have)... Maybe it was just because he was kinda girly sometimes. Yeah, that'd be it... still, it was only appropriate, in this situation, to put a kiss on my reply, right?

_Um, can't think of anything, really. Chocolate would be nice, but other than that I'm cool. Thanks a billion :) Roxas x_

There. S and X are pretty close, anyway. It could look like my thumb had slipped. Nobody would ever know the difference.

_What kind of chocolate? White, milk, dark? Nuts or no nuts? Caramel? Be more specific or I'll buy you one of everything. And don't mention it, your mother made the best pancakes in the history of the universe, I think I should at least get you some sweets. Axel xx_

Two kisses. That was deliberate, wasn't it? Should I put two, or stick to one? Or maybe even three? What if he only meant to put one, but accidentally put two, and then I'd look weird if I... fuck. I was turning into a fucking _girl_. And that wasn't helpful, because Axel definitely liked guys.

_Um, just plain white chocolate if that's okay. And I'm gonna mention it, I think you're too nice to me. Roxas xx_

You have no idea how many times I deleted those kisses, typed one, typed a second one, deleted them both... ugh.

_Oops, accidentally-on-purpose bought white and milk. You need the calories, though. And the sugar, since you keep falling asleep on me. Not that I mind. Axel xx_

I smiled down at the screen. Aw, he was such a sweetheart. I mean, um, I like chocolate. And I'm glad that he doesn't mind me falling asleep on him, because I really quite enjoy it myself.

I took out three books in the end – Twilight, to make fun of when Nami was awake, one of the Harry Potter books, to read when she was asleep, and a Spanish dictionary so that we could learn some Spanish swearwords and giggle like small children, like we used to do before she got ill. The librarian looked a bit taken aback at me checking out a Twi-shite book and a Harry Potter one, but she said nothing as she stamped all three and handed them back to me. I slid them into my bag and emerged into the corridor, which wasn't exactly packed, but wasn't quite empty either. Thankfully, nobody I knew except Riku was around, and he was hardly going to –

"Hey, Roxas!" Shit, I spoke too soon. "Why didn't you _tell_ us that Tianne was a _psycho_?" he growled, throwing himself at me, pinning me to the wall. "She nearly fucking _killed _Sora, why didn't you _tell_ us?"

"I... I..."

"You're gonna get it, Roxas," he growled, and my stomach churned.

Then, all at once, Riku was on the floor bleeding from the nose, and someone very tall and red was standing in front of me, facing the silver-haired EMO. "Get up, I dare you," Axel growled. Riku pulled a "this-isn't-over" face but half-walked, half-crawled away, whimpering slightly.

"You okay, Roxas?" Axel said softly, turning on the spot to examine me. I hurriedly held up my hand to cover up the scrape on my chin from where Riku fell and his hand connected awkwardly and roughly with my face. Of course, though, Axel tugged my hand away delicately and hissed when he saw the red mark. "Fuck, I can't believe... is this my fault?"

I shook my head frantically, almost cricking my neck. "No, not at all!" I answered far too peppily. "Um, so, chocolate..." Subject change is always good.

"Oh, yeah!" Axel dug through his bag and produced two of the biggest chocolate bars I've ever seen, one white and one milk. "Here you go, Roxas. That okay for you?"

I nodded dumbly, taking the bars from him and looking down at them. "Axel," I said quietly, "these are fucking enormous."

He looked so _upset, _the poor thing. "I'm sorry, I can take 'em back if you want, or you don't have to eat all of it, or I'll buy you something else..."

"No, it's okay. I'm just surprised because... how much did these _cost_?" I held one flat in the palm of my hand, judging its weight. "I mean, they're wonderful, don't get me wrong, but..."

"Not much." He looked at the floor. "I just... I wanted to perk you up a little, and I saw the sweet store and I was like, "Ooh! Perfect!" but then there was so much stuff, and you being so thin-looking and exhausted I wanted to buy it all for you, but I didn't think you would appreciate that so I –"

"Axel," I cut across him, hugging him with one arm and cradling my two enormous chocolate bars with the other, "these are fantastic. What make are they, anyway?" I checked the label. "Hang on... aren't these supposed to be horrifically expensive?"

"Nope," Axel said, clearly lying as he hugged me back, using both arms because, unlike me, he didn't have huge bars of chocolate to hold. "Anyway, forget the price, I'm a brat. Say, uh, what d'you fancy for Christmas?"

"A toothpick," I said simply, hoping that he wasn't planning to splash out on me at Christmas as well. (Splash out sounds really sexual.)

Axel laughed. "Calm down, I won't buy you stuff if you really don't want it."

That was always reassuring, except that he'd just bought two chocolate bars when I only asked for one, and they were both fucking huge, as well. (Not that I was complaining or anything, oh, no.)

"So what do you want for Christmas, this year?" I asked, knowing I probably wouldn't be able to afford what he wanted but still wanting to know.

He grinned at me. "There's a specific someone I'd like to catch under the mistletoe, but other than that, I can't think of anything. Now come on, tell me what you want. _Really_. Anything at all."

"I wouldn't mind Naminé getting better, um, and going out with Larxene if that's what she wants. I'd also like a housekey, a blade of some sort, an awesome black coat would be nice..." I trailed off. "Sorry, got a little carried away there."

"No, it's fine. The more information I can get, the better." I just went pink and tried to put some distance between me and Axel, but he followed me. Secretly, I was glad. "So tell me, why _was_ Riku threatening you?"

I blinked. It hadn't occurred to me that Axel didn't know the full story. He just stepped in and fixed everything the way that he does. But he actually had no idea what was happening, which was a weird thought.

"Well, you remember my friend Tianne..."

Even when talking about Tianne, one of my least favourite things to talk about, Axel made me feel warm, and loved.

xxx

There has been a worrying amount of people saying that Demyx deserved what he got. I mean, I know he was prancing around advertising himself, but come on, people, have a little sympathy. (I jest. Mostly. I love you guys, don't ever change.)

I apologise for the light Twilight-bashing, I love Twilight fans. I hate Twilight, but I'm not going to spew my hate all over the place, so don't panic.

I've been writing a lot of oneshots lately. Go and check them out, but first review here. And someone should buy me WAY too much chocolate as a quick gift.


	27. Chapter 27

**Warning:**This right here is a Unicorn of death Fanfiction. For those of you who haven't read my other brilliantly amazing Fanfictions, that basically means that this thing will be filled with swearing, YAOI (dun dun duuun) and the occasional tasteless joke. Consider yourself warned.

**Disclaimer:**It's called Fanfiction because I am a FAN, not the owner of the damned characters.

**Roxas worry**

Okay, I really needed to stay calm, and focused, and not stare at Roxas's irresistible little mouth working as he slowly made his way through the first chocolate bar… listen to him, pay attention… oh god he's licking his lips…

"And eventually I decided enough was enough, y'know?" I nodded to demonstrate that I did in fact know. "So I ended up telling her, via email, that…"

I decided that I only really needed to hear every third sentence of this story anyway. My attention span has never been the greatest, and with Roxas sitting there being unfairly tempting, I didn't have a hope in hell of actually focusing properly.

"Axel? You okay?" I nodded slowly. "I'm not boring you, am I?"

"No! No, no, no, of course not, no."

He raised an eyebrow and tilted his head slightly. OH FUCK HE'S SO CUTE WHAT EVEN – "You sure? We can talk about something else, if you like."

I'd like to talk about our wedding, and consummating the marriage, for like, an entire week or so.

I swallowed, hoping against hope that my boner wasn't as obvious as I thought it was, and smiled slightly. "No, carry on about Tianne, I'm interested. Psychos are interesting."

He chuckled and carried on, leaving me to stare at him like the creep that I am. I caught odd words, like "knife" and "cat" and "older brother", but mostly I sat back and allowed his sexy little voice to wash over me, all my other thoughts settling into a steady rhythm of _Roxas is perfect, Roxas is perfect,_ like scratched CD.

I realised it had come to an end when he heaved a sigh and rested his forehead on my shoulder. "Thanks for that, Axel, I needed someone to just vent to, y'know? Someone who wouldn't interfere or give shitty advice, someone who just listens and cares about me and who I feel comfortable with."

Heart pounding relentlessly, I reached up and tucked some hair behind his fragile-looking little ear, amazed at how soft and warm every part of him seemed to be. "Glad I could help," I murmured into his head, biting down on my tongue before I let slip anything more incriminating than that, such as "I was hard for the majority of that conversation" or "I'd like to viciously rip that bitch to shreds for manipulating you like that".

I felt him smile into my shoulder. "You have a really sexy voice."

WHAT, did he just SAY that, what the FUCK

Evidentially he did in fact say that, because he whipped his head off my shoulder and covered his mouth with both hands, his gorgeous little face _glowing_ pink and his sky-blue eyes widening, making me want to lean forward and gaze into them for hours at a time…

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't…" he sputtered, his hands parting a little to let the sound out. Desperate to reassure him, because as cute as this was, I hated seeing him upset, I reached out and rubbed his upper arm a little awkwardly. "Axel, I… I'm sorry…"

"It's okay, Rox." Rox, Roxie, Roxas, my Roxas… my mind was sort of spinning, as it tends to do in these situations. "These situations" referring to anything that involved Roxas. "If it helps, you have a sexy voice too."

If possible, he went even pinker, but his hands fell to his sides and he relaxed, smiling a little. "Th-thanks… _fuck_, why did I say that? _Fuck…_"

Oh god, swear some more, it's so hot when you swear, say _fuck_, just like that…

"Um…" I glanced down, then realised that my thoughts were apparently showing through my trousers, and tried to move my bag to cover my crotch. I think he noticed. "Uhhh…"

He licked his lips again and I shuddered. Why did he have to be so awfully sexy? Why was I cursed with eternal horniness? Why weren't we both naked in a vat of Nutella, doing unspeakable things to each other…

"Axel? You alright?" I nodded slowly. "You look a bit, um, flustered."

The bell rang. I wasn't sure which period it was announcing, where I was supposed to be for said period, or why the damn thing was so sickeningly loud, but I did know that it was my ticket out of what was probably the most awkward and arousing moment of my entire life. Roxas started a little before taking a step backwards, away from me. "I have to get to class, I'm sorry, I'll call you tonight…"

He turned away and dashed down the hall, leaving me frustrated in almost every single way, dumbstruck, and really hard. Again.

**Being a bit irrational**

I was having a bit of a weird evening.

I had completely and totally forgotten every single responsibility, essay, and care in the world that I had had before, and paced the kitchen for about an hour. Then I tried to eat some toast, only to realise that my appetite was completely gone. I guess it was the chocolate. That had been a _lot_ of chocolate.

"I can't believe I told him that his voice was sexy…" I muttered to myself, staring into the mirror and wondering how long those dark circles had been there. "I cannot believe I said that… and he said mine is too… is it? _Do _I have a sexy voice? I never thought so…"

Out of nowhere, as I was heading up the stairs to my room, I was bombarded by thoughts of various explicit things I wanted to hear spoken in Axel's voice. _Fucking hormones_, I thought, reaching my bedroom and falling into bed fully clothed.

Fuck, I was meant to call Axel. I pulled my phone out of my back pocket and stabbed a couple of buttons. "Please pick up…" I muttered to myself, fingers drumming a little nervously on my thigh.

"Hey Roxas." Okay, I _really_ liked the way that he said my name. Like, _really_ liked it. "How're you?"

I bit my lip. Somehow "incredibly horny and a bit fucked up in the head" didn't seem like the best response. "I'm fine, you?"

"Pretty good, yeah. Just watching TV, being lazy, y'know." Why was his voice suddenly this sexy? Like, had I just noticed this, or had it always been that sexy? "You doing anything?"

Again, the first thing that sprang to mind, "internally monologuing about how sexy your voice is and trying not to get too turned on by you speaking" didn't seem like a socially acceptable response to give. I instead settled for, "Just lying in bed, staring at my ceiling."

Axel "hmm"ed. That was also sexy. I wonder if… he'd have no way of knowing… I could just… "Aren't we exciting?"  
><em>Apparently you are<em>. I looked down at the horribly obvious tent in my trousers. Okay, I seriously needed to deal with it. He wouldn't know… "Mhmm, the most thrilling people on the planet." I slid my hand into my underwear, trying to hold back at least a little, just sliding my fingertips up and down slowly…

"You okay, Roxas?" _Mmm_… I liked it when he said my name… "You seem a bit quiet tonight. Just listening to my sexy voice?" I could just imagine that smirk… those eyes, watching me…

"Ahh… I-I'm fine…"

"You don't sound fine, Rox. What's up?"

And, before I could even stop and think, "My dick."

There was the most pregnant silence in the history of ever, filled only by Axel's faint breathing, and my hand paused in my underwear. "R-r-really?"

"Yeah," I muttered, "sorry."

"No, don't be, just… fr-from talking to me?"

Something about him stammering was utterly adorable. "Yeah…"

"Oh." My heart stopped. "Um… do you need to, like… go and…"

"I already was," I admitted, very tentatively starting to slide my fingers up and down again. "I'm sorry…"

"Don't be." His voice had entirely changed now, from casual conversation to full-on bedroom voice, and I could feel myself getting closer. "Tell me exactly what you're doing?"

"J-just… y'know… touching m-myself…"

"Aww, c'mon, Roxas, let me have some fun too…" wow, okay, this was, wow… mmmm… "Tell me what you're doing…"

"St-stroking…" I bit my lip, pressing the phone between my shoulder and my cheek and sliding my other hand into my underwear as well. "W-with both… mmm, fuck… with both hands…"

"Good boy." Axel was _so sexy_, holy fuck… "Try and hold it in, I'm barely getting started."

Oh, god…

xxx

I. Am. So. SO. Sorry.

I cannot even begin to explain all the shit that has prevented me from updating my fics. I broke up with my girlfriend, ended up internet-dating a guy (we've nearly been together eight months, yay!), my parents split up, we moved house so I had no internet connection, etc. But that is my problem, not yours. I realise I've probably lost a load of readers from that massive hiatus, but I will rise again, like a phoenix but without feathers. Like a naked phoenix. Thank you to everyone who's still here, and to new readers, and everyone ever really. I love every single one of you. Review if you feel like it, and I love you all :3


	28. Chapter 28

****Warning******:**This right here is a Unicorn of death Fanfiction. For those of you who haven't read my other brilliantly amazing Fanfictions, that basically means that this thing will be filled with swearing, YAOI (dun dun duuun) and the occasional tasteless joke. Consider yourself warned.

****Disclaimer******:**It's called Fanfiction because I am a FAN, not the owner of the damned characters.

**Being a bit Roxas **

I lay back in bed, still breathing hard. That was what, three times? Four? I couldn't really tell. I could hardly think much other that OH MY GOD, OH GOD, ROXAS, OH ALL THINGS MERCIFUL, PLEASE LET THIS BE REAL…

"Axel? Still there?" His _voice_ now that he was done… mmm… "C'mon man, I can hear you breathing…"

"Y-yeah… just… a bit… shocked…" And sticky. "What just…"

"I think it's called phone sex," he informed me matter-of-factly. I felt my face get warm and turned away from the mirror, determined not to see myself blush. "Did I… was I good?"

"Roxas," I sighed, pulling my duvet up over my chest. "I came about four times."

"I think I reached five." I was kinda shocked by how casually he could tell me these things. And how hot his just-finished voice was… "Thanks."

"_You're _thanking _me_?" I replied, getting a little comfier in my huge, empty bed. I felt a little bit miserable some nights, all alone in a bed made for two, but tonight I had, if nothing else, the knowledge that Roxas wanted me.

I also had a pile of damp tissues, but they weren't quite as comforting.

"Is… is it gonna be awkward? At school? Y'know, when we see each other and stuff, after this…"

I smiled, glad he couldn't see my dumb grin through the phone. "Roxas, in all honesty, most of the times I've seen you I've been thinking up unspeakable things that I want to do to you. Nothing will be any different for me."

"Unspeakable things such as?" That _voice_... I pictured him lying there, probably still naked, with a smirk on his sexy little lips as he teased me... mmmm... "Come on, share with your Roxas..."

_My Roxas_...  
>"I-I... uhh..." Words, god fucking dammit it, WORDS! "<em>My<em> Roxas..."

"That's right," he fucking _purred_, "all yours..."

I moaned, noticing that I was getting, erm, excited again. My left wrist ached something fierce, though, so I simply pulled the duvet between my legs and started humping it. "Mine..."

"Are you doing something, Axel? And you aren't even telling me about it? Aww..."

"R-rox... it's nearly midnight, we... we should..."

He sighed. "Okay. Could... I mean, um, I don't wanna be pushy or anything but, another time..."

YES YES YES YES YES

"Oh, _please_." He chuckled. "Night, then."

"Goodnight, Axel. See you tomorrow, yeah?"

"Don't leave me," I blurted out, then I clapped my hand over my fucking enormous mouth. _You dipshit, Axel_. "S-sorry... you can..."

He chuckled again. How could he be so adorable and so sexy at the same time? "Tell you what. Put your phone on speaker, and I'll do the same with mine, and let's just talk til we fall asleep."

I blinked. "Talk about what?"

"Everything. Get comfy, go on, and put your phone somewhere you won't roll onto in your sleep. Maybe put in on charge." I obeyed him kind of blindly, shoving the charger into my phone and tossing it onto my bedside table. "You done all of that?"

"Yeah." I curled up under my duvet and closed my eyes. "Sorry for, you know, being a pain, I just... I..."

"Axel, it's okay. Close your eyes." I did as I was told. "Now, imagine I'm there. Imagine I'm by your side, watching over you."

_He's so cute, I just want to hold him tight in my arms and stay with him for every single moment of my life..._

"Thank you, Roxas. My Roxas." I paused for a moment, frowning. "Does... does it bother you, when I..."

"Not at all." The warmth in his cute little voice was genuine. "Now, get some sleep, yeah? I'm getting sleepy as well." I could hear it in his voice, it lilted and dropped and stalled a little at the vowels, as sleep began to steal him away from me... "If you need me, wake me, yeah?"

"Mhmm. Love you – uhh – your company, Roxas."

There was a long silence. Then, "One of us will have to say it properly eventually, you know."

I froze completely. Did he mean – "What do you mean by that?"

"Goodnight, Axel." There was the sound of rustling pillows.

I sighed. "Night, Roxas."

**Sleeping alone**

I woke up, completely naked, to the sound of humming. It was oddly familiar, but I knew straight away that it wasn't Nami. "What's... what..."

"Good morning, my Roxas." The deep, silky, inarguably sexy sound of Axel's voice sent every memory of last night shooting through my body, and I glanced down to see that I once again had a bit of a problem, one that I didn't really have time to fix before school. I was growing horribly used to being this turned on by Axel, and I couldn't tell whether it was a good sign or not. "Sleep well?"

"Like a blonde, sticky rock," I mumbled. "You?"

"Same, but not blonde." He yawned, and I was taken aback, not for the first time, by how cute he sounded. "You still naked?"

"Not for long. I'm going to get dressed for school." I pulled my tired self from my sheets and grabbed a hopefully-clean pair of boxers to put on. "You should do the same."

"Ugh, do I have to?" he moaned, more rustling coming from the other end of the phone. "I just wanna lie in bed and listen to your sexy little voice all day."

"C'mon, we both have school, and I have munny to make. I promised some people some favours." I shuddered, trying not to think too hard about how exactly Seifer wanted me to earn my cash this time. "What day even is it?"

"Fuck if I know. Might not even be a schoolday." I could hear fabric rustling from Axel's side of the phone and I smiled. I could just picture him waking up, and getting dressed, and being sleepy and adorable. "Did you, um, did you like sleeping with me?"

He chuckled and said, "Are you going to rephrase that?"

"Maybe one day I won't have to," I shot back, pulling my belt tight and realising that I needed to cut another hole in it for it to fit me properly, or else gain some weight. Naminé would never quit nagging me about being too thin if – _when _she got out of the hospital. "But seriously, was last night okay?"

"Yeah, it was gorgeous, and did you _have_ to give me another boner?" It seemed like most of our boundaries were gone now. I could certainly live with that. "I don't even think I have time to take care of it."

"No, you don't. I want you on time to school, so I can see you in person before class," I informed him, shrugging on my lightest jacket because it was cute but not too warm for summer. "I'mma hang up now, okay? I need to wash my hair and stuff. I'll see you in school, okay?"

"Yeah, sure. Goodbye, Roxas." His voice seemed a little shaky now. "See you soon."

"Don't worry," I said softly, finger hovering above the "end call" button. "We'll be together again in less than an hour, okay? The faster you get ready for school..."

"...the sooner I'll see you," Axel murmured, a little perkier now. "Okay. Bye, Roxas."

I hit the button and resumed getting ready.

On the bus to school I tried really hard not to think about Axel, because I really didn't need _another_ awkward boner. I looked at the bus ceiling and counted the dents in it, pausing at the particularly nasty-looking ones to ponder how they had gotten there. I fiddled with my phone inside my pocket, but didn't check it, because it would just make me think of Axel, and last night, and his _voice_, and the best instructions I'd ever received...

Temptation ate at me the whole way to school, though, and once I had stepped off the bus I pulled it from my pocket and checked my messages. Okay, I had a _lot_ of messages. That was usually a bad sign. I opened them systematically, oldest first.

_Hey Rox, probably won't be in school today. Nor will Dem, or any of my lot. They think Henna's going. Tell Axel if you like. See you soon. ~Hayner_

Fuck. Fucking hell, that wasn't a good start to the day. How was I meant to tell Axel that? How was I meant to tell Axel _anything_ when I knew for a fact that he was hoping to jump me and do numerous inappropriate things to me as soon as I was within his line of vision? And how was I going to comfort Hayner when she went? How did one even comfort Hayner, who was by definition cocky and stoic?

I bit my tongue and moved onto the next message, deciding to worry about that later.

_It's me. Larxene. Your sister is my girlfriend now, thought you'd like to know. She says she'd like to see you tonight, if you're not busy. You should interpret that to mean that if you don't get your butt down here by the end of the day, I will rip it from the rest of your body and Sellotape it to your face, then slice your head off and give it to Axel to play with. Do I make myself clear?_

I replied with a simple _Yes_, and progressed to the third message in my inbox, this one from Axel.

_I'm so boooored, Roxas, this bus is so boooring. I keep thinking about your ass and I'm rock hard and I reeeally want to deal with it but I can't because I'm on a fucking bus. Axel xxx_

I sighed. Fucking typical. I was going to have to break the news about Henna while he nursed a throbbing boner that was kind of my fault to start with. I had just set my baby sister up with a hooker, and I was beginning to freak out. My back pressed against the wall, I slid slowly down, knees buckling, and ended up with my ass on the cold, damp ground, finding my airways tightening horribly and the sky becoming a little bit greenish, black dots swimming in front of me, _taunting_ me...

"Roxas? Roxas!" I hid my head between my knees and covered it with my arms instinctively, breathing becoming harder and harder with every passing moment. "Rox, c'mon, look at me, it's okay, it's all right, I'm here..."

I shook my head, letting out a high-pitched whine and feeling my whole body rattling as I struggled to draw in another breath.

"Roxas, my Roxas, it's me, Axel, I'm here, it'll be okay..." I whined again, determined to form words. "Come on, breathe for me. One... two..."

Numbers worked. Apparently, numbers were soothing, possibly because I had a secret fondness for Math, and Math lessons with Axel by my side. "I... I..."

"Shh, Rox, shh. Seven... eight..."

I breathed in time with the numbers, tilting my head up just a little and seeing Axel's face directly in front of mine. His eyes were just brimming with tender concern and, god, he was so _pretty_...

"Sorry, sorry." I unfolded myself a little and became aware that Axel had been holding my upper arms, one in each hand, and stroking them with his thumbs. "M'fine."

"You've been more fine." Axel sighed and let me go, then moved to sit on the ground next to me, slipping an arm around my shoulders. "What's up, Rox?"

I thought for a moment, not sure how to tell him everything. "Well, I got a text from Larxene, and she's dating Nami now which is sweet, and she says I have to visit Nami tonight, which is okay, but just, she's not exactly the most, you know, sensible choice... Anyway, I got that, and I also got a text from Hayner that said... it said..."

"Shhhh, take your time," Axel murmured, stroking shoulder slowly. "It's okay."

"Axel, it said Henna was dying," I spat out, shrugging his arm off. "It said that Hayner and Demyx and them wouldn't be in school today because the doctors were talking about Henna dying and she... I..."

Axel's usually-pale face turned from very light pinkish to completely milk-white and his eyes widened. "Henna? As in... as in little Henna?"

I nodded. "I'm so sorry, I just, she... because she's younger than Nami, and..."

"Don't _you_ apologise," Axel muttered, getting to his feet. "Look, I'm going to go down to the hospital and see her." I nodded. "But, um, before I go, I promised her I would tell you something..."

I looked up at him, but he seemed completely frozen. "You can call me or something, if that's easier for you. Just... do what you think is right, okay?"

He nodded slowly, eyes on the wall behind me. "Yeah... yeah, I'll call you. Talk to you later, Roxas." And then he full-on sprinted away, and I was left shaking and nervous and thoroughly upset on the ground by the school gates, with no intention of moving.

xxx

So, how bout that chickening out? Both on Axel's part, and on mine, for not giving you a wonderfully detailed lemon. But fear not! I will write it. I'll just post it as a separate oneshot, and you guys can read it without having to search through the whole fic just for some fap material.

On the topic of oneshots, I wrote one recently called Running Away To Join The Circus, and I'm quite proud of it, so it'd be cool if you checked that out. If you want updates on oneshots I'm posting, you could follow me as an author, if you like.

This chapter is a little longer than most, I think, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. Love you guys, revieeew *wiggles away*


	29. Chapter 29

**Warning: **This right here is a Unicorn of death Fanfiction. For those of you who haven't read my other brilliantly amazing Fanfictions, that basically means that this thing will be filled with swearing, YAOI (dun dun duuun) and the occasional tasteless joke. Consider yourself warned.

**Disclaimer: **It's called Fanfiction because I am a FAN, not the owner of the damned characters.

**Roxas alone**

Fuck. _Fuck. _FUCK.

There was this slicing pain in the left side of my chest that didn't feel particularly healthy, but I couldn't bring myself to care. I just kept running and running, barely even bothering to look around and check that I was going the right way. Henna… Henna can't… I still haven't told… HENNA CAN'T FUCKING DIE…

I fell through the hospital doors clutching my stomach and looked around wildly, like maybe she would be standing in the front entrance with a smile on her face and Mr Bunny under her arm, waiting to tell me she was better. Usually optimists kinda sicken me, with their deliberate, forced happiness, but today I was desperate to believe things would be okay. Maybe that was how they felt all the time.

"Can we help you, sir?" I didn't look at the nurse's nametag, or even his face; I just noticed he was a nurse, and I nodded. "Are you here to visit someone?"

"Where… where's ward 13?" I gasped, still wiped from the sprint to the hospital.

"Up those stairs, just to the left. There's a big sign, can't miss it." I couldn't even try to smile and thank him before taking off again, feet thudding almost as hard as my feet on the blue carpet that stretched out everywhere, like a sea, like a fake sea…

"Ax?" I realised I was on my knees. When did that happen? "Shit, man, did you _run_ here?"

I nodded slowly, leaning against the wall and closing my eyes, wishing the corridor would quit spinning. "I… Henna…"

"Yeah, yeah, she's still hanging on, don't worry. Are _you_ okay?"

Demyx sounded genuinely terrified for my wellbeing, something that didn't occur too often. "Kinda… Dem…" I felt like I was going to throw up, but there was nothing to throw up. I'd skipped breakfast in my haste to… my haste to see… "_Roxas!"_

Demyx kneeled down on the floor next to me as my knees gave way and I fell onto my arse instead, whimpering like a pathetic little kid. "What about Roxas, Ax? He's at school, isn't he? He's fine."

"I told… Henna…" My face was hot, and sticky, and dripping with something. Hopefully sweat. There was no way I was crying in front of Henna. "Roxas… tell Roxas…"

"Hey, hey, calm down," Dem said, rubbing my arm. I was _trying_, but, just… everything was just… "You promised Henna you'd ask Roxas out?"

I nodded. That was the simplified version of it, anyway. I was meant to take him up onto the clock tower… _fuck_, I wasn't going to have _time,_ and Henna was going to be disappointed, but I couldn't _lie _to her… "I have to tell him, I have to."

Demyx nodded in understanding. "Call him?"

It looked like that would be my only option. Anyway, I had _been_ up to the clock tower with him, so I could tell her that, at least. "How do I say it, Dem?" I asked desperately, looking at Demyx's tired, troubled, tear-stained face as though he would have more answers than I did.

"I don't know, Ax. I don't know how to talk about feelings. I never have."

I had to do it. It was terrifying and embarrassing and, well, mostly just terrifying. But I _had _to. I reminded myself that I had just run at least two miles on an empty stomach, and that anyone with that degree of willpower and strength doesn't have the right to chicken out of confessions like these. I gritted my teeth and took my phone out of my pocket, stabbed two buttons (God bless speed-dial) and waited for him to pick up.

"Axel, I was just about to go into Spanish, you got me just in time, hang on a sec, if I go into the bathroom I can talk for ages – there we go – how is she? How are you?"

His voice and his concern and his willingness to hide in the bathroom to talk to me just made me _melt_, and I slumped harder against the wall, sliding down it a little, feeling both steadied and more terrified than ever now that I was actually talking to him. "She… she's still holding on. I'm fine, but I just, Rox, I have something to tell you… please don't hate me…" Saying that out loud made me realise just how terrified I _was_ of him hating me. "Roxas, I'm sorry…"  
>"Okay, okay, shhh," he murmured, and I fell silent, just listening to his voice flow into reassuring mode, lower and softer and so <em>nice<em>… "You know I won't hate you, Axel. I really like you. Just take your time, and tell me calmly. Don't panic."

I took a deep breath, grabbed hold of Demyx's wrist in what was probably a very painful manner, and spat out a hopefully-coherent sentence: "I've been in love with you since the first time we met and I want marry your everything."

That could have gone far better, but it could have gone far worse. I think.

**Plot twists**

"You… you want…" I closed my eyes, trying to stop my mouth from spreading its way across my face into a dumb, lovestruck grin. "Say that again?"

"I just… ever since we met… you're beautiful, your voice is perfection, you're so sweet and selfless and I just want to scoop you up and carry you away to somewhere secret and just _hold_ you, I just want to love you, my Roxas…"

It sounded like he was crying. I could kinda imagine how emotional today was already for him, and first period hadn't even ended yet. I shushed him again, resisting the temptation to rock my phone back and forth, like it would comfort him. "You can stop now, Axel, I get it."

"You… you hate me now… you must –"

"Are you kidding? Or are you even blonder than I am?" I looked down at the filthy bathroom floor. School restrooms are disgusting. "Axel. You're hilarious, insane, exciting, sweet, any _number_ of adjectives, and I…" _Sayityoupussy, say it, say it…_ "I love you, Axel." _I said it._

There was this silence that barely counted as silence because I could hear Demyx murmuring something like "Calm _down_," and Axel crying. Axel _crying_. God, I wish I was there to hold him; if _he_ was crying, things were shit.

"I… I l-love you too…" He kept choking and sobbing, and all I could do was shush him. "Roxas, I love you… so much…"

"I know, I know, I love you too," I said in my best soothing voice, shifting from foot to foot the way I'd seen Hayner's mom do when holding the smaller kids. I don't know why I was doing it right then, but apparently I have some fierce motherly instincts. "It's okay, Axel, I'm right here."

"I… I thought… when you were doing stuff with H-Hayner…" I winced at that memory. "D-did you love… did you love me then?"

"I think I always have," I told him slowly, trying to figure out if it was true or not. Sadly, it seemed like it was. "I'm sorry about Hayner and everything, Axel."

"_Don't_." I keep forgetting how much he hates it when I apologise for things. "My Roxas…"

Another thought shoved its way into my mind and whilst I really didn't want to make this conversation any more difficult for Axel, I got the feeling that if I didn't scrape my courage together and ask him this now, I wouldn't get a chance to. "Axel… uh… would you, um, would you like to be my boyfriend?"

Another silence, then a different voice: "He's nodding, I think he forgot you can't see him."

"Is this Demyx?" I asked. It sounded like him, but the phoneline distorted his voice a little.

He chuckled. "Yeah, it is. Hi. How are you?"  
>"Oh, pretty good, yeah." We both laughed. Something about the absurdity of the whole situation was comical in a sort of painful way. "I should let you both go, huh?"<br>"If you want, yeah. Have to turn phones off in the wards, but I guess you know that." I liked Demyx a lot more now that I realised Axel had literally no feelings for him in _that_ way. And it was kind of comforting that we were both in the same boat. "See you around, yeah?"  
>"Sure. Look after Axel for me. I'll probably be there after school anyway."<p>

Pause. I suddenly realised that Henna might not last that long, and I felt horrible. "Could you…"  
>"I'll be there in ten minutes," I said, getting to my feet and shoving my way through the heavy bathroom door. "See you then."<p>

I barely even knew Henna, but she seemed sweet, and anyway, I told Larxene I would come and see Nami.

xxx

And there it is, the moment you've all been waiting for. One of them, anyway. I'm still working on the lemon from a couple of chapters ago, and I hope y'all will like it. And review it. And not report it.

Whilst we're on the topic of Kingdom Hearts, or rather Demyx, or rather shameless whoring, I'd like to offer to you all my Youtube channel. You should find me if you search for Morgan McMorganstein, which is of course my real name, legit and true, and I do song covers and vlog-rant-things and all sorts like that. Thanks guize, and remember, reviews make the world go round! :3


	30. Chapter 30

****Warning: ****This right here is a Unicorn of death Fanfiction. For those of you who haven't read my other brilliantly amazing Fanfictions, that basically means that this thing will be filled with swearing, YAOI (dun dun duuun) and the occasional tasteless joke. Consider yourself warned.

****Disclaimer: ****It's called Fanfiction because I am a FAN, not the owner of the damned characters.

**Roxas twists**

Demyx took hold of my hand and smiled sadly at me. "You did it, man."

I could hardly breathe. Roxas... was my _boyfriend_... I nodded slowly and Demyx chuckled, standing up and pulling me to my feet with him. "I... wow..."

"Let's go tell her," Demyx said, and we walked slowly back into the children's ward. In the far corner of the room was a door with Naminé's name on it. I didn't need to be a doctor to know that that meant she had been here a while and would be here a while more. I thought maybe I could go see her when Roxas got here. "Axel? C'mon." I realised I had stopped walking and twitched, putting one foot deliberately in front of the other with my eyes on the floor.

We pushed Henna's door open. She was awake, but only just, the pink in her cheeks seeming to have bled away. She was the same white as the sheets she was under, and her usually bouncy, light hair looked like it was stuck down to her scalp with sweat and grease. Her eyes were the only thing that really reminded me of the tiny girl I'd told about Roxas and my favourite way of putting on make-up. She blinked up at me and Demyx, cracked lips curving into a tired smile. She really did look like she had taken a turn for the worse, and I knew there and then that we only had hours. "Demy! Axie!" Even her voice sounded chipped and exhausted.

"Hey, Henna," Demyx said softly, tears already welling up in his eyes as he sat down next to her. If there were other people in the room but him, Henna and myself, I don't remember them. I don't remember much from that moment. I don't remember the weather or what I was wearing or what time it was. I just remembered Henna's tiny, sick frame and Demyx's heart breaking all over his face. "How ya doing?"

"I'm okay. It hurts lots." She coughed a little. "They said it won't hurt for much longer."

I tried to swallow my heart, but I guess it felt closer to Henna if it was in my throat. "I'm glad we got to come see you, Henna," I said quietly, and she smiled even wider.

"I like seeing you two. I think you're my favourites. And Mommy and Daddy, too. And Mr Rabbit..." Mr Rabbit himself was sitting next to her, diligently guarding her heartbeat until she was ready to let go of it. "I didn't want to go to sleep before I saw you."

Demyx was wiping at his eyes. "When do you want to go to sleep, Henna?" he asked, reaching over to lay his hand on hers.

"A little bit later. Don't worry, Demy. When you go to sleep we can be together." She giggled weakly. "It would be a slumber party!"

I smiled even though there were two tears rolling down my cheeks. "You're so clever, Henna," I whispered, kneeling on the floor so I could be more level with her. "Hey, guess what?"

She cocked her head to the side in curiosity and Demyx chimed in when he realised I was struggling to talk. "Axel and Roxas are –"

There was a sharp knock on the door and then it opened. "Speak of the devil," Demyx muttered, as Roxas crossed the room in what seemed to be one step and fell to his knees next to me.

"Hey Henna, I'm Roxas," he said quietly. "I'm Axel's boyfriend, I hope you don't mind –"

Henna's face lit up. "You did it!" she squeaked, looking just a little bit more alive for the joy shining out of her face. "I knew you would, Axel, I knew you would tell him you love him." She tried to sit up a little more to look at Roxas. "Roxas, you're really cute-looking. Axel said you were. You have to be nice for him, okay?"

Roxas nodded obediently, blushing fiercely. I reached down and linked hands with him, and he squeezed my hand softly without looking down at it. I was seriously ready to fall apart and sob, but I wouldn't, not in front of Henna. "I promise I will, Henna. Is there anything I can to do for you?"

"You have to do his make-up for him, he's bad at lipstick." Roxas smiled and nodded more, Demyx chuckling weakly on my other side. "And make sure that he and Demy are nice to each other too. They argue a lot and it's bad." Demyx opened his mouth, maybe to apologise, but she kept talking. "And will you and Axel look after Mr Rabbit while I'm asleep? Because Demy and everyone can look after all my teddies, but I want Axel to look after one..."

"We'd love to, Henna," I told her, squeezing Roxas's hand harder. If it was hurting, he didn't let me know. "Anything else?"

She shook her head. "I just hope that I'm not asleep on my own for too long. Will you visit in your dreams?" All three of us nodded. "And make sure you bring Mr Rabbit." She settled back into her pillows. "I'm tired now."

Demyx's face was in his hands but I could tell that he wasn't crying. Roxas looked up at me and I could see his eyes shining with wetness as well. I knew if one of us started, all three of us would, so I sucked in a deep breath and said, "Are you gonna go to sleep?"

She nodded slowly. "I think I have to. They said it would stop hurting when I sleep." A pause in which she frowned, followed by, "It hurts a lot. That's why I'm so tired, I think. So I'll sleep."

Demyx leaned forward and kissed her forehead softly. "Goodnight, Henna."

"Night night, Henna," I said softly, standing up to give her a very careful hug. She felt so tiny, and already a little cold.

Roxas smiled but I don't think it fooled Henna, let alone me or Demyx. "Night, Henna, and thanks for helping me find Axel."

"Night," she said softly. "Love you."

Then her eyes were shut, and her breathing was starting to slow...

A doctor burst into the room, glanced at the monitor and at the people around the bed, and grimaced. "She's going..." he muttered, as the mechanical beeping of Henna's heart started to slow. We all got to our feet, Roxas still clutching my clammy, bony hand with his soft, warm one. "You boys will have to leave when we –"

"We know," Demyx said sharply, and I saw that he was still holding his sister's hand. "I'm not leaving til it stops beeping."

As if on cue, the machine finally slowed to a stop, as did the movement of Henna's chest and the rolling of her eyes behind pale lids. "Goodnight," I whispered again. The tears were about to drip again.

We left the room slowly and reluctantly, and out of nowhere, the entire Demyx clan seemed to be pressing in from all sides, but all I could really feel was Roxas's hand. As I started to shake, sobs squeezing air and tears from me, all I felt was him, his arms circling my waist and pulling me close, I felt his voice hit my ear and tell me that it's okay, it's okay, let it out, baby, it's okay...

We both knew that it wasn't okay, but I liked Roxas's lies as much as everything else that he had.

**Visiting Nami again**

My hands shaking, my heart hurting, my shoulder damp from Axel breaking down on it and my tongue sore from all the biting, I finally managed to break away from everyone for just long enough to catch my breath, trying to make sense of everything at once. When I realised it was hopeless and gave up, I got two plastic cups of water – one for me, one for Axel – and carried them back into the hall. He took his gratefully and sucked it down as if he hadn't seen water in days, whereas I leaned against the wall and sipped mine, staring into space. I don't know why Henna's death had cut me just as deep as it had. She reminded me of Nami in more ways than one, and I had never seen Axel or Demyx quite as emotional as that, and she was just too good to die. I didn't want to think about good people being able to die. If Henna could die...

"Roxas?" I looked up, and saw Axel's face filled with a kind of pleading sadness. "Are you gonna visit Naminé? Because... I kinda wanted... I mean, if you don't –"

"Of course I don't mind. I think she's awake at the moment, let's go see her before she goes back under." I left my plastic cup on a windowsill, well past caring about littering, and laced my fingers through Axel's again. He was exceedingly comforting to hold hands with, I'd noticed, even when we were both sweaty and clinging onto each other for dear life, regardless of how painful the finger-shaped bruises were going to be.

Naminé's room was only a short walk away, but every walk felt too long today. I didn't knock before I entered and promptly regretted it, because Larxene wasn't wearing a shirt.

"Hi, Roxas," she said casually, pulling a hoodie over her tits. Naminé was highlighter-pink, biting her lip in what I recognised as a desperate attempt not to giggle. "You brought Axel?"

I nodded slowly, trying not to think about the two gross female things I had just been subjected to. "He, uh, we..."

"We're together," Axel said quietly, letting go of my hand and instead sliding an arm around my tiny waist. "I wanted to meet you, Nami, since Roxas clearly thinks the world of you."

Naminé smiled even more than she had been, and Larxene rolled her eyes. "I'd be surprised if he didn't. Listen, gorgeous, I'm going to go talk to my family for a bit, so I'll see you soon, okay?" Naminé nodded to her and Larxene blew her a kiss, then got up and left. I'd never known Larxene to be so docile, but if anyone could tame her, I guess Naminé would be the one.

"So, tell me everything," she said, sitting up a bit more, and Axel smiled warmly, taking the seat that Larxene had just vacated and starting to tell her, well, everything. She looked happier than she had in a long time, and I smiled, nudging Axel a little so I could perch on the edge of his chair.

He wasn't having any of that, though, and he pulled me into his lap. Butterflies were swarming me, but now that I was sitting down, I realised just how exhausted I was, and I curled into him, letting him hold me and letting his voice pour over me and warm me to my core until eventually my eyes fell shut and I think I drifted off.

"Roxas?" I was being shaken very lightly and opened my eyes, blushing bright pink and pulling back from Axel. "Roxas, baby, your parents are here, I figured you'd want to say hi to them."

_He called me baby._ I tried not to squeak happily as I turned to see both my parents, Mom grinning from ear to ear and Dad clearly trying to hide a smirk. Naminé giggled. "You should see your _face_, Roxas," she said, and Axel laughed too, making no motion to let me go in spite of my parents' presence. I was tempted to try and hide in his shirt or something to make them all stop looking at me, but settled instead just for pouting. "See, Mom, I told you they'd be together by the end of the week."

Axel was blushing too now. "So how long have Roxas and I been a topic of discussion among you guys?" he quipped, squeezing me a little as he said my name. For someone so lean, he was great at cuddling. He was great at most things, honestly, but I was somewhat biased because he was in fact_ my boyfriend_.

Larxene burst through the door and darted straight back to Naminé's bedside, smiling for what may have been the first time in recorded history. "Hey, Nami," she said softly, ignoring everyone else.

"Roxas, it's getting late, when were you planning on getting home?" Mom asked. Late? I glanced at the clock and realised that it was nearly nine. I'd fallen asleep on Axel at about one, maybe a little earlier. Oh, Jesus. "Your dad and I won't ask why you weren't at school, but do remember you have your own life to live."

"I know, I know," I said, fighting the urge to roll my eyes. "I'd like to stay with Nami a bit longer, if that's –"

"Rox, go home," Naminé said softly. "You've had a tough day, you're clearly tired, and you need to spend some time not worrying. Just get home, watch some cartoons, eat some chocolate."

Axel nodded in agreement, and Dad added, "Besides which, now that Axel is officially your boyfriend, we need to subject him to awkwardly eating dinner with us."

Mom laughed. "Richard, don't be so mean. Axel, sweetheart, you're more than welcome to come over, stay the night if you want. We owe it to you, for looking after our son so well."

"I don't need looking after –" I began a little heatedly, but Mom silenced me with a look.

Axel nodded again. "I'd love to come over, sure." Naminé and Larxene both giggled a little and he went a bit pinker, but otherwise ignored them. "Your cooking is tempting enough even without your son being my boyfriend, anyway."

I slid off his lap, grinning. I was tired, and still upset about Henna, and still worried about Nami, but Axel seemed to be the best medicine for most emotional ailments. Why I hadn't asked him out weeks ago, I had no clue. As we made our way to my parents' car, he wrapped an arm around me again, keeping me close to his side. I had no objection to this and clutched at a fistful of the back of his shirt, smiling up at him. He looked as exhausted as I felt, and in the back seat of the car, his head tipped sideways onto my shoulder. I ran my hands through his hair, whispering to him about how it would all get better and how we would have a really great meal and then cuddle each other into sleep, and I pretended not to notice that he was crying again. I got the feeling that if he wanted me to know he was crying, he wouldn't be trying his very best to hide it. All I could really do was hold him, and trust myself to make things better for him, for myself, and for everybody.

After dinner and a good night's sleep, of course.

xxx

Welp. That happened. Please don't hate me _too_ much. I'm having a good day today and decided to seize it in order to write fanfiction. I finally realised that one of my best "friends" was manipulative and controlling and just plain icky, so I've basically got rid of him from my life, and I feel pretty good about it.

In other news, it's my 16th birthday pretty soon, so I'm hyped about that, and in other other news, this fic is nearing its conclusion, so I'm searching for other ideas. I was thinking of possibly expanding on my oneshot Bathrooms, and I have some other half-chapters and ideas tossing around in my FF folder on my laptop, but I'd like to know what you guys think. As always, I love every review I get, (I usually eat them with ketchup and some fries), and I love all of you :3


	31. Chapter 31

****Warning: ****This right here is a Unicorn of death Fanfiction. For those of you who haven't read my other brilliantly amazing Fanfictions, that basically means that this thing will be filled with swearing, YAOI (dun dun duuun) and the occasional tasteless joke. Consider yourself warned.

****Disclaimer: ****It's called Fanfiction because I am a FAN, not the owner of the damned characters.

**Visiting Roxas again**

I felt completely cold. I hadn't _really_ believed that Henna could die until I heard the final beep of the monitor, and even now, sitting on Roxas's sofa and staring at his coffee table as though it had all of the answers, it was hard to imagine that she would never be around to do my make-up, I would never hear her cute little lisp or see her forehead turn into a maze of creases when she was mad...

"Axel?" Roxas was standing in the doorway, and I looked up at him so fast I cricked my neck. It almost seemed ironic, that we would only get together when Henna wasn't around to celebrate it. That thought stung so bad that something in my chest twinged a little. "Is there anything you need?"

I shook my head slowly. "No..." He crossed the room cautiously and hovered by the sofa, like he was waiting for permission to sit down. _Cute_, I thought detachedly, looking back at the coffee table. I just didn't want to deal with today any more. Pretending to be cheerful to Naminé had ripped out the last little bit of energy I had left, and I couldn't even find the power to seem interested in Roxas. Everything just seemed fake or stupid or downright cruel. "Um..."

"It's okay, Axel, I get it. I have days like this too." Of course he does. His sister is dying slower than Henna did. Suffering more. Spending more time _thinking_ about it. It's all fucking sick and unfair. "I don't know exactly how you're feeling, but I know roughly how it is." Naminé was a nice girl. She cared about Roxas, she was even sweet enough to soften Larxene, and she didn't deserve to suffer. "You think the whole world is an ugly, uncaring mess, don't you?" I didn't even move my eyes when Roxas sank into the cushions next to me, but I could feel his blue-eyed gaze on my neck and took another deep, painful breath. "You think it's all fucking shit and there's never anything worth fighting for because whatever you do, it doesn't make a half-fuck of difference." I nodded very slowly. _Just. Keep. Breathing. _Fuck. _Just. Keep. Breathing_. The thought followed the rhythm of my breathing, telling me not to stop, telling me that I could keep living... "It does go away, Axel. Sometimes in minutes, sometimes in hours, sometimes in three days that are smeared with worried phonecalls from friends whose names you don't care to remember any more... but it really does stop, I promise, and you'll feel better. You will." His hand was on mine, timidly, sweetly. "Anything you want? Food, drink? Me to leave you alone?"

I opened my mouth and closed it again. I didn't want to be this. I didn't have a _right_ to be this, when Roxas was being _that_, being caring and open and soft even after every moment he could remember was enough to scrape him down, leave him hardened and shut off and cold. That thought felt like it was pulling, pulling on my guts and my head. "I..." I felt like I was waking up. I could literally feel the impact of feelings rushing back into me. "I'm sorry..." My voice came out in an unattractive whine and my hands tightened on my knees.

Roxas slid an arm around my shoulders, shushing me gently. "I know, I know. It's nothing to be sorry for." He pressed his mouth to my left cheekbone, and I think that the last of my emptiness fell out of the gap between his lips with the breath that he let out against my cheek. "It's okay, Axel, baby, it's okay. You better now?"

I nodded, feeling so much so strongly that the numbness of a minute ago seemed fucking stupid now. "I love you." It sounded broken, but honest, and it made him smile. "I love you, Roxas, I can't – do you feel that often?"

He nodded, his smile turning miserable, almost apologetic. "I get things like that pretty much every day, usually early in the morning or late at night. Hence calling you in the evening a lot of the time."

"Oh..." I stroked his hair out of his eyes, eyes too tired for a face so pretty. He really was beautiful, breathtaking, but Henna had taught me that breathing was a luxury so this time I didn't stop. "Baby..."

He blushed a little. "I like being called that."

"Baby," I whispered, leaning forwards and letting my lips form a smile, "angel, sweetheart, love..."

"I like angel," he giggled. "Honey, dear, gorgeous –"

"Gorgeous is more accurate for you, angel." We were both smiling now, and I slid my arm under Roxas's armpit, pulling him closer. "You're so, so beautiful," I whispered, looking straight into his eyes. His pure, honest, tired eyes, flecked with just a little bit of darker blue, and ringed by thick, dark lashes... fucking hell, he was perfect. I liked looking at him this close up even more, getting to stare at every single pore of his skin...

"So are you," Roxas said quietly, kissing my cheek again softly. "I love your cheeks. And your sexy sharp chin and your magical green eyes and..." He trailed off, looking embarrassed. I smiled and pulled him into my lap. I loved having him in my lap; he fit there perfectly, like he belonged there.

"And?" I asked, lips brushing his earlobe.

He blushed a little more, squirming. "And your hair, s'like a sunset, and... you just make me feel all warm, and..."

I squeezed him softly around his waist, butterflies bursting out of the pit of my stomach and swirling, somersaulting... "Thank you, angel." I can't remember the last time I took a compliment. "I wish I could say shit as beautiful as that to you. I've never been great with words." Well, maybe I would have been good with words, if my English teacher weren't shagging my best friend and if Roxas's gaze alone could tie my tongue into a braid. "You deserve it, though. You deserve everything."

"Not really." He looked, I don't know, rueful? "I have some very bad ways of getting what I want." Then he turned a little in my lap and pulled his knees up, feet on the sofa, and held onto one of the arms that I threaded carefully around him, keeping him as close to my heartbeat as I could.

"You tired?" I asked, pressing my mouth into his hair and inhaling the scent of him like I was a baby bird looking for someone to imprint upon.

He nodded slowly, and I started rocking back and forth gently like I had in the hospital. Naminé had told me that we looked really sweet like that, and I have to admit, I like looking sweet when it's with Roxas. "We... we should at least get up to my room..."

"C'mon then." I scooped him up in my arms, bridal-style (mmm, Roxas in a wedding dress... okay, perverted thoughts about crossdressing Roxas, I was definitely recovering well) and, ignoring his surprised, sexy little squeak, I carried him up the stairs and into his room. His parents already knew he was exhausted, so they would probably just assume we'd gone to bed and not bother us. "You wanna change, Rox?"

He shook his head as I put him down, pulling off his belt and dropping it to the floor. "Too hot for pyjamas. I'm gonna sleep in my underwear." Oh, _fuck_... "You can too, or I can lend you –"

"Underwear is fine." I was wearing boring cotton underwear, but that couldn't really be helped. I watched hungrily as he pulled his shirt over his head and he grinned at me, _slowing down_, just like all of my thoughts. "Uhhh..."

"Problem?" he asked quietly, running a hand down his stomach to his zipper. Ohfuckohfuck... "Hm?"

I shook my head slowly, eyes fixed on his hand as it slid down, as his pants started sliding down too... Mmmmm... "N-n-no problem," I choked out, hoping he wouldn't notice (or would notice, but wouldn't mind) the growing problem between my legs.

He dropped his pants to the floor, revealing those perfectly sculpted legs that I wanted to throw over my shoulders as I – "Are you _sure_, Axel?" he purred. I needed to fuck him, I needed to fuck him _now_, when he said my name like that I just – _fuck_, he looked so good...

I couldn't even nod, just kind of moaned. He grinned even wider, stepping towards me, and I bit my lip, watching, just watching... _It was finally coming true_...

And then, of course, his mother knocked on the door.

**Why the fuck now?**

As soon as I had assured Mom that I wasn't hungry and neither was Axel and of course we have condoms shut _up_ now and yes we'd both like to be left alone in the morning and yeah Mom I love you too, I shut the door, face as red as the trail of hair below Axel's belly button that I thought about far too often. I turned back to face him but his eyes were on his phone.

"Axel?" I asked quietly, perching on the edge of my bed like I was the guest. "What's up?"

"All of Demyx's lot are fighting," he sighed, snapping his phone shut and continuing to stare at it. "It started with some of them picking on Larxene for not showing up when Henna was... y'know... but it's getting out of hand now and Demyx is really fucking miserable and –" A loud chiming noise and flashing light caught Axel's attention and held it away from me as he flipped his phone back open and read something unnaturally fast – or maybe it was unnaturally short. "Dem's going to Xigbar's place for movies and cuddles."

"Are they a thing now, then?" I asked, trying not to be too selfishly upset that he was ignoring me after I had stripped for him.

Axel shrugged. "I guess so. Why _was_ she with your sister instead of her own, anyway?"

"Umm..." I wasn't quite sure if I was supposed to share this information or not, but I trusted Axel. "Larxene, um, she isn't actually... related to Henna..." Axel nodded slowly, thoughtfully. "And she, um – this is a secret, okay?" I took a deep breath. "Henna's dad, Demyx's dad, um, she hates him because he had this, uh, kinda feud thing, you know, with Larxene's dad, before Larxene's dad took off, so Larxene kinda hates all of that side of the family."

Axel nodded again. Then he stood up, closed his phone, and shoved it into his pocket. "Gorgeous, you look really tired. Let's try and get to sleep, okay?"

I nodded and curled up, letting him curl around me, and closed my eyes. I wasn't even that tired any more. I felt unwanted, and guilty, and angry and confused and deeply in love and scared about Sunday, and what I had offered to do on Sunday, and...

And Axel's boner was digging into me.

"Axel?" I whispered into the dark, holding onto the arm he had draped over my side.

"Mm?" he answered, nuzzling the back of my neck. I nearly purred.

"Ooh, that feels niiice..." I tilted my head to the side a little, grinning widely. His face nuzzling against my neck and back was shooting warm straight into my stomach, and lower than my stomach. "A-axel..."

He chuckled, stroking at my chest, fingers just brushing my nipples. _Mmmm_. "I liked your little show earlier, Roxas..." he murmured, every "l" drawn out as his tongue brushed my neck. "Does my good little boy like showing off to me?"

"Mmmmm, mhmmm," I mumbled, as Axel's hand ran down my ribs to my lower stomach, moving back and forth steadily. "Axelll..."

"Good boy, say my name like that more..." He kept going, pushing a little at my underwear to make room for his fingertips, lightly massaging my abdomen now, and getting dangerously close to the _other_ set of thick blonde hairs.

I took in a shuddering breath, overwhelmed by fear and excitement and pleasure and happiness, and said it again: "Axel, A-ahhh-axel..."

He pulled away from me a little then, hand still working my stomach, and as I slumped back a little, he crawled over me instead, looking like he was trying hard to disguise a smile. "That's a good boy. Who's my good boy?"

"M-me..." I whined, looking down to see him slowly starting to tease my boxers down my shaking thighs.

He nodded approvingly. "And is my good little Roxie having fun?"

I could only moan as he started licking at my legs, smirking a little. Oh, fuck, this was good...

Until, that is, my phone went off.

"Holy _fuck_," I hissed, both at the location of Axel's left hand and at the sound of my ringtone. "Axel – can I –"

He moved aside graciously with a smooth "Go ahead, I'll just stare at your butt," which only made me harder and more self-conscious than ever. I scooped up my phone and answered it, hands shaking just a little.

"Hello?" I asked, trying to ignore Axel staring at my butt. His eyes were almost burning, not just because I was naked but because they were always like that, just a little _too_ unnerving. "Oh. Hi, Olette."

"Can you _please_ tell Hayner to stop hitting on Pence?" she growled, and I heard Hayner's distinctive laugh in the background. "He's starting to really, really piss me off."

"Hand the phone over," I instructed, looking down to see that I was still really hard. Wonderful. "Hayner?"

"Hey, sexy," he slurred. Oh, he was drunk. Fuck. "I miss you."

I sighed. "Are you drinking because of your sist–"

"SHUT UP!" I winced and pulled my phone away from my ear, shocked by how loud he was. "I'm FINE!"

I glanced towards Axel, noticing his eyes still trained on my butt, and figured he was too entranced by it to pay attention to what I was talking about. "Okay, okay. Go sit somewhere quiet, and just, think about my dick or something."

"You should come over," he told me matter-of-factly, his sensible voice somewhat contradicted by the chink of a beer bottle against his own teeth. "We could _fuck_."

I chuckled in spite of myself. "You interrupted me when I was going to fuck someone else, actually." I looked down at my nails. My cuticles were shit; Naminé would probably lecture me half to death if I let her see them. "Listen, I should probably go –"

"But can we fuck tomorrow?"

I sighed another heavy sigh. "Yeah, sure, whatever will get you off the phone. Now, hang up, drink some water, and get home safe."

He slurred something that was probably meant to be goodbye before hanging up and I turned on my heel to see Axel with one hand in his underwear, looking somewhat startled. "I-I wasn't touching myself whilst staring at your butt," he said, his face a bright, lying pink as I grinned widely again (I was giving my cheeks one hell of a workout) and took a step forwards. "Uh, um..."

"Of course you weren't," I purred, stradling his thighs like a lap dancer and draping my arms around his neck. "Because you're a good boy... aren't you?"

He shook his head, his mouth curving into a grin that matched mine. "No, Roxas, I'm a very _bad_ one." He then grabbed my ass, both of us suddenly on our feet, and pushed me back against my chest of drawers. "Am I going to have to prove it?"

"I'm afraid so," I whispered in his left ear, my right hand scrabbling for my cell phone to try and turn it off.

Tonight was going to be wonderful. Provided there were no more interruptions.

xxx

That was a loooong chapter. I'm forseeing two, maybe three more chapters at most? I can't even imagine how it'll feel when I finally reach the end of this fic. It's taken me so long and I've loved it so much that it'll be like losing a friend. Still, I can then turn my attention to other stuff. I'm still totally taking any suggestions, and I love you guys' input so much. Thanks for everything, review, and big hugs!


	32. Chapter 32

****Warning: ****This right here is a Unicorn of death Fanfiction. For those of you who haven't read my other brilliantly amazing Fanfictions, that basically means that this thing will be filled with swearing, YAOI (dun dun duuun) and the occasional tasteless joke. Consider yourself warned.

****Disclaimer: ****It's called Fanfiction because I am a FAN, not the owner of the damned characters.

**Why the fuck Roxas?**

I swear, if Demyx and Xigbar don't shut the _fuck _up with the singing soon, I –

"What was that one from High School Musical 2, Xiggy? The one with all the sexual tension?" Demyx asked. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY CAN YOU NOT. "I think they were playing baseball or something?"

"If you sing another song I'm leaving," I announced for the third time, but Xigbar glared at me and I stayed glued to his sofa, shrinking a little further into Roxas's hoodie. I'd woken up sticky, bruised and exhausted just before six that morning to find messages from Demyx begging me to come over so he could give me some kind of news (which was nowhere near as important as my naked Roxas, but you try telling him that), and I'd slipped away before _my boyfriend_ woke up. It was now seven thirty-two and I really wanted to get back to his place before he woke up, but Demyx still hadn't told me whatever news had pulled me out of Roxas's warm, safe bed that morning. Because he was too busy singing FUCKING High School Musical songs. Nobody ever told me that being hideously obnoxious towards your best friend after your Disney marathon with your English teacher was a stage of grief. I mean, I was glad to see him perkier, and I was glad he had Xigbar to look after him, but I could have done without the slightly flat singing.

"Dem, uh, what was the news you had to tell me?" He looked at me almost blankly for a minute, then his face broke into the widest smile I had seen him wear in years. It was kind of terrifying, even when you forgot that he had lost his little sister less than twenty-four hours ago.

He and Xigbar exchanged looks – Xigbar looked like he was fighting a smile as well – and then Demyx turned back to face me, biting his lip and squeaking a little in excitement. "We're getting married," he said hurriedly, clapping his hands together.

What.

WHAT.

"What?" Xigbar grinned, slinging an arm around my best friend's neck and pulling him closer. "Gotta keep him out of everyone else's pants somehow, right?"

"I... wow, uh... congratulations, I guess..." What the _fuck_, whose _fucking_ idea was this, why the _fuck_ did they think it wasn't _fucking stupid_... "Um, how long have you –"

"He asked me last night," Demyx smiled, arms around Xigbar's midriff again. They always cuddled like that, and usually it struck me as sort of cute, if a little antisocial, but right now I was kind of furious. How the _fuck _was Xigbar planning to marry Demyx? Was he actually serious? What if he wasn't? If he hurt Dem I was going to do violent things to him that I usually only reserved for Hayner and, well, people who touched Roxas in general. "You look pissed, Axel. Jealous that Roxas hasn't proposed yet?"

That was the last fucking straw. His sister just died and we were all apparently pretending it hadn't even happened in favour of him getting lovey-fucking-dovey with a _teacher_, when all I wanted to do was curl up with Roxas and love him as much as Henna wanted me to. I was very used to watching him run away from his problems, but watching Xigbar openly enable him to do that was new to me, and really, really not cool. So I stood up. I picked up my wallet and the plastic cup I had been drinking orange juice from. I turned on my heel and left Xigbar's shitty apartment, jogged back to Roxas's house and climbed in through the kitchen window I had exited through an hour and a half ago. I was so fucking done with Demyx and his complete inability to face any of his problems. I was even more done with the shitty way everyone who was meant to be taking care of him had been handling the situation, especially his apparent new fiancé. As I wriggled through Roxas's kitchen window and snuck up his stairs I found my rage melting into pity. It usually did where Demyx was concerned. That was the main reason I stayed friends with the kid, in spite of all the bullshit between us.

"Axel?" Roxas was sitting up, blinking confusedly, chest still pale and bare and smooth like it had been under my mouth last night, while he made all that noise for me... "Where you been?"

I stepped into his room, kicked the door shut behind me and threw my wallet onto his bedside table. "Demyx wanted to see me. Getting really fucking sick of his shit." I sighed heavily as I dropped my pants again, the heat pouring through the windows already and making the idea of sleeping with clothes on laughable. I was reminded that it would be Christmas in a matter of weeks and still had no clue what Roxas wanted besides his sister to get better. "You wanna sleep a bit longer?"

He nodded, mouth stretching into a huge "O" shape as he yawned. HE'S STILL SO CUTE AH FUCK I NEED TO CUDDLE HIM NOW. "Just thought you might have left or something, and I..." He frowned a little, looking down at the pillows as though they might cuddle him instead of me, me being too busy fighting with my shirt to glomp him like I wanted to. "Sorry. Never mind."

I shook my head, sliding under to covers next to him and wrapping an arm around him, pulling him closer. "C'mere, angel," I murmured, as he leaned into me, and I got to press my face into his hair and inhale whatever shampoo gods use again. "I'm so sorry I left like that, I didn't think you would wake up. I'm fucking stupid, I'm sorry."

He growled, pulling my arm tighter around him. Growling was hot. We could try growling tonight. Or scratching. Or role play. Or anything... "Shut _up_. It's fine. Demyx needed you, and you wanted to help him. You didn't realise I'd wake up, did you?" I shook my head, decidedly not enjoying being told off by Roxas. "So don't freak out, okay, babe?"

"Sorry."

He growled again, turning to face me. "You... you..." Another growl, and he kissed me fiercely, then pulled back, face a little softer. I needed to stop getting hard because of angry Roxas. Angry Roxas was not good. Angry Roxas was in fact kinda bad. "Let's go back to sleep, Axel. I love you."

"I love you too," I said quietly, stroking his back slowly and steadily as he closed his eyes and smiled. I blamed Demyx. I was going to be arbitrarily blaming Demyx for most of everything that went wrong today, and there was jack shit he could do about it.

I wasn't even really mad, I realised as my consciousness started ebbing away again. More, I don't know, worried. I was always worried about that kid. And I was worried that Xigbar would lose his job over the whole pile of shit – which made very little difference to me except that it would probably upset Demyx – and I was just a little bit worried that their wedding would be better than mine and Roxas's. As I closed my eyes too, holding _my boyfriend_ to my chest and letting my heartbeat drum up a storm against his skin, I kept thinking about living together, getting old together, and how badly I wanted things to look up, at least a little. I didn't notice Roxas's phone going off until he got up to answer it, and realised that he hadn't been asleep at all. Still, sleep was beckoning to me now, so I closed my eyes again and let it eat me up.

**More fucking timing**

After we woke up a second time, got dressed and inhaled breakfast, Axel went home. I waited until I had seen him turn off at the end of the street and left the house myself, having promised to meet someone somewhere a day early like a complete fucking tool.

"Hello, blondie," Seifer sneered, reaching towards my hair and wrapping one lock of it around a thick, too-clean finger. "What are you planning on doing to repay that favour you owe, hm?"

I took a deep breath. _It's for Nami_. I got onto one knee, then onto both. The sound of zippers made my stomach turn but I closed my eyes and opened my mouth obediently. Axel said I was good at sucking dick, so this wasn't going to be too hard. Well, not so much said as panted desperately in between moaning and grabbing at my hair. I really wished that I could imagine that this was Axel in my mouth, but it was too rough, over too quickly, and there was a lot less talking. I swallowed and stood up, holding my hand out for the munny. He'd promised me my munny.

I don't remember anything after that.

I woke up on a sofa, and immediately sat up, wincing at the sharp pain in the side of my head but too terrified to lie back. I knew this place... _Axel_. I was at Axel's house again. Why was I...

"Roxas! You're awake!" My poor boyfriend was white as a sheet, and he dropped to his knees next to me. _No, no more people on knees_... "I was fucking scared, I thought you –"

"What happened?" I asked, trying not to notice the throbbing ache in my head while Axel rearranged my cushions, still pale and looking more shaken than I felt.

He pulled back, piercing green eyes a whole catalogue of emotions that I could barely separate from one another. "Well, from what I understand, you were sucking dick in an alleyway for cash, and Seifer knocked you unconscious and was taking your clothes off when Tianne showed up with a knife, presumably en route to your place, and stabbed Seifer in the back." His voice was level and I got the feeling that he was trying really hard not to get upset. "He'll be fine. Unfortunately. But that was right about when Rai figured out numbers at least enough to be able to call an ambulance, and Tianne's been arrested, and then he called me to pick you up since I was apparently the first person on your contacts list on your phone. So I brought you back to my place and put ice on your head to try and keep it from swelling too bad and then you came to and, well, here we are." He looked down at his hands. "How're you feeling?"

"Not surprised." I sighed, leaning back onto the pillows. "Knew that this was all bound to go to shit sometime. It was a shitty plan. Little taken aback about Tianne, but it's not like this is the first time she's been arrested."

Axel looked up at me, tears in his eyes, and my stomach turned over again. It was probably trying to tie itself into a fancy knot of some kind. "I meant how was your head," he whispered, looking more and more upset with every passing second.

"It hurts. Axel, I'm so sorry, I didn't want you to know –"

"Of course you didn't want me to know! Who starts off a relationship by telling someone that they suck dick in dirty alleyways to... to... _fuck_, Roxas, it would be one thing if you actually _wanted_ to, but it's for your sister, isn't it? Isn't it?" I nodded slowly, having no idea what I could say to him to make him less distressed and so just letting him talk. "Roxas, just... why didn't you... _shit_, I mean, of all things – and why was Rai on _your_ side, I mean – fucking hell, I should be mad at you, shouldn't I? Most people would be mad if their boyfriend was giving blowjobs out to anyone who asked, but no, I can't be mad at you because you got hurt and you want to help your sister and you're just too beautiful and I want to get old with you and when Rai called me, I thought, I thought... and you weren't waking up, and I was scared..." He started sobbing and I reached towards him but, to my surprise, he jerked his whole body backwards, away from me. "How long, Roxas? How long have you been... for him..."

"As long as I've been doing dishes and shit for you," I admitted, eyes on my own feet, arm that reached for Axel dropping to my side. "I'm so sorry, Axel. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have started in the first place, but it was good munny, and I was so terrified that Nami would never get better without me, and I didn't know what to _do_ so I just said yes to him, I just kept saying yes, and..." I took a deep breath, Axel still shaking with quiet, squashed sobs. "Rai and I had a thing a long time ago and then we just stopped talking when Tianne showed up and he started hanging out with Seifer and..." Another deep breath. "I'm so sorry, I don't even know what to say, I've been a fucking awful boyfriend, a fucking awful person, and all I know how to do any more is just make it through until tomorrow so I don't know how to treat good things like you and –" My deep breaths were steadily getting less and less deep, the more panicked I got. I pulled my knees into my chest, barely feeling Axel's hand on my arm, and kept trying to talk: "It was my fault, it was all my fault that all that shit happened and... fuck... if Nami dies... my fault..."

"Shush, baby, shush..." He ended up scooping me into his arms again and getting onto the sofa underneath me, holding me tightly to his chest and kissing my ear. "Deep breaths for me, come on."

I was _trying_ to breathe, I was _trying_...

"I-I'm sorry," I choked, clinging to his shirt and shaking harder and harder. "Axel..."

He rocked me slowly back and forth, one soft thumb brushing tears off my cheeks. "It's okay, angel," he whispered into my neck, "it's okay." I shook my head, but he shushed me again, squeezing around my waist a little. "It is, I promise. I'm not mad."

"You sounded mad," I said hoarsely, nuzzling into his neck, heart still practically vibrating. "Please don't be mad."

"I'm not." He kissed me softly and I almost smiled. "Tianne's in jail. Seifer's in hospital. Neither of

them will be bothering either of us for a while. Things can only get better."

"But I –"

"You wanted to help Naminé," he interjected as he started rubbing my back, "and that's not a bad thing. Now, let's watch some cartoons and rest that gorgeous head of yours, okay?"

I nodded obediently, wondering how Axel could forgive me so easily for something so thoughtless and stupid and downright gross until, halfway through an episode of Dora the Explorer, it occurred to me that I would forgive him that easily for the same.

Is that a good sign?

xxx

Ahhh, fuck. Today is the last day of my birthweek and I've had a great time. I got my nose pierced and made a Kingdom Key cake and decorated some cupcakes (pictures of all of the aforementioned are on my Twitter, if you'll tolerate my whoreishness just long enough to remember that my username thing is Gr8ninjamorgan) and had friends over and had all sorts of crazy teenaged high-jinks (such as eating chicken and playing a bit of KH1) so everything was the wonderfuls but it meant I didn't get a chance to update until right now.

Anyway, here is what I _think_ is the penultimate chapter of A million munny. We'll see. You'll all be pleased and/or terrified to know that I have twelve pages written up of another fic, assisted by a friend of mine who will be receiving credit and thanks for ideas and lines when that fic gets rolling, and I have some vague ideas about extending Bathrooms as well as other oneshots to accompany this fic.

On the topic of oneshots accompanying this fic, I had one _taken down_ for being too explicit. Whilst I found this kind of flattering and amusing, it means that I'm going to watch where I step for now, so this fic will be bumped up to an M rating just to be on the safe side. In conclusion, I apologise for this ridiculously long author's note, and I'll see you guys next time for the (probable) finale of this fic. Big loves! :3


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